A Christmas Story Pt. 2; it's Ho-Ho-Horrible!
No, seriously, it is. Just read that description if you want to know more.
And if not, then a quick description of the highs, er, lows in this movie:
1) Ralphie has gone from wanting a BB-gun to needing a car for Christmas so he can impress the girl he has his eye on. Her name? Drucilla Gootrad. Who names their kid that? And he has dreams about saving her from Nazis so she can have sex with him in gratitude. Did I mention this is supposedly a Christmas movie?
2) His friends are Flick (who looks like he ought to be hanging out in Riverdale with Archie and the gang)and Schwartz, a Nondescript Jew. Yes, he's described that way in the movie. And believe it or not, it gets worse: when Ralphie needs one more dollar to get his car, he asks Schwartz for one. Which Schwartz won't give him. Why? Because hes's a Jew, and you know how Jews are about money.
...
I really have nothing else to say about that.
3) Also Ralphie looks like he's in his mid-20's, while his little brother is about three years older (?) and his mother is younger than she was in the first movie. Oh, and the 'Old Man' now acts like a profanity-laden take on Fred Flintstone. And he goes ice fishing rather than buy a turkey for dinner. Because he's cheap. And to think, for some reason they went direct to video with this movie when it has prime comedy like that in it.
4) Ralphie and the other two Stooges (actually, this would have been funnier with Moe, Larry, and Curly) go to work at Higbee's Department Store for some long green to get the car. They wrap up babies, get their tongues stuck in clear plastic tubes, and shag a mannequin (at least it LOOKS like that). And they end up as elves for a Santa who talks about his rotten whore wife with the kids and get into a candy cane fight with each other. Which gets them fired.
As RD Reynolds put it, when you're stealing ideas from Santa with Muscles, it's time to pack it in.
5) But Ralphie gets rehired to work in the lousiest reindeer suit I've ever seen. He gets punched out by a customer. Then he and Flick maul Schwartz the Nondescript Jew for his $1 bill. Gosh, don't you just feel the holiday spirit?
6) So Ralphie finally has his car money, but at the last minute he spends it to buy dinner at Chop Suey Palace for some homeless folks instead. This somehow makes it possible for him to get a car and the girl. And oh yes, his nasty family have a rotten Christmas. I guess this is karmic justice or something. So the lowbrow nerd Christmas sex comedy has a happy ending. Hey, it's over. That's a reason for rejoicing right there.
Stay classy, Hollywood!
And if not, then a quick description of the highs, er, lows in this movie:
1) Ralphie has gone from wanting a BB-gun to needing a car for Christmas so he can impress the girl he has his eye on. Her name? Drucilla Gootrad. Who names their kid that? And he has dreams about saving her from Nazis so she can have sex with him in gratitude. Did I mention this is supposedly a Christmas movie?
2) His friends are Flick (who looks like he ought to be hanging out in Riverdale with Archie and the gang)and Schwartz, a Nondescript Jew. Yes, he's described that way in the movie. And believe it or not, it gets worse: when Ralphie needs one more dollar to get his car, he asks Schwartz for one. Which Schwartz won't give him. Why? Because hes's a Jew, and you know how Jews are about money.
...
I really have nothing else to say about that.
3) Also Ralphie looks like he's in his mid-20's, while his little brother is about three years older (?) and his mother is younger than she was in the first movie. Oh, and the 'Old Man' now acts like a profanity-laden take on Fred Flintstone. And he goes ice fishing rather than buy a turkey for dinner. Because he's cheap. And to think, for some reason they went direct to video with this movie when it has prime comedy like that in it.
4) Ralphie and the other two Stooges (actually, this would have been funnier with Moe, Larry, and Curly) go to work at Higbee's Department Store for some long green to get the car. They wrap up babies, get their tongues stuck in clear plastic tubes, and shag a mannequin (at least it LOOKS like that). And they end up as elves for a Santa who talks about his rotten whore wife with the kids and get into a candy cane fight with each other. Which gets them fired.
As RD Reynolds put it, when you're stealing ideas from Santa with Muscles, it's time to pack it in.
5) But Ralphie gets rehired to work in the lousiest reindeer suit I've ever seen. He gets punched out by a customer. Then he and Flick maul Schwartz the Nondescript Jew for his $1 bill. Gosh, don't you just feel the holiday spirit?
6) So Ralphie finally has his car money, but at the last minute he spends it to buy dinner at Chop Suey Palace for some homeless folks instead. This somehow makes it possible for him to get a car and the girl. And oh yes, his nasty family have a rotten Christmas. I guess this is karmic justice or something. So the lowbrow nerd Christmas sex comedy has a happy ending. Hey, it's over. That's a reason for rejoicing right there.
Stay classy, Hollywood!