Odd Internet/LJ Etiquette question

[eric_hinkle]

Of late I find myself telling a lot of folks on LJ that I'm glad to hear that things have gone well for them work or art or holiday/family wise, usually expressed as "I'm happy to hear that everything is going so well for you. All of you take care and best wishes" or the like. And I've found myself wondering, should I be saying it

Comments

[eric_hinkle]

*shrugs* Seriously, I can't tell you how others feel about this. My attitude is that if I post and leave comments available, I'm looking for some comments. Therefore, any other person who posts and doesn't disable comments, or specify that they are simply letting people know what is going on in their lives and would appreciate if no comments on the bad things were made, is also looking for some recognition that their friends are reading and care enough to comment.

Best advice i can give you is to judge how well you know the person involved and how he/she has reacted in the past to similar comments.

Thanks for the helpful words. None of this was aimed at you in case you're wondering; you're a delight to speak with.

As for how you were raised, my assumption would be that the attitude referred more to giving advice on how to handle the situation rather than simply expressing a sentiment that you care enough to read and comment. To me, meddling means telling someone how to do something or handle some situation, not simply expressing a sentiment that shows basic human sharing of life.

Just curious, did your parents ever offer their condolences at hearing bad news or smile when someone shared good news? If so, then that means a simple expression at sharing news is not considered meddling. You don't need to answer this if you don't want to.

No, no, I don't mind. My parents did offer their condolences over bad news and smile when hearing good news, with people they felt they knew They regretted hearing that something bad had happened to a casual acquaintance, but that was usually as far as it went. With someone they knew, they'd try to get in touch via phone or letter to offer help if they could. It was typically turned down (the normal local response), but they offered.

But even at the best of times they were very wary of people; they'd been taken advantage of in their lives and were highly cautious about letting it happen again. That and self-reliance was always a big part of the culture they were raised in, and sometimes offering 'too much help' could be seen as an insult, implying that someone couldn't handle their own problems. It could get very confusing.

For myself, I follow the same basic rules of etiquette I grew up with whether in person or on-line. Be polite. Never say anything you don't want to come back at you. Be respectful of other people, their privacy, and their belongings. Think how you would feel if someone said or did something to you before you do it to anyone else.

This is best and worthy advice to follow, but sometimes I have to remind myself to slow down and think twice before posting.

Thanks for the useful advice and kind words. Take care!

[redvixen]

*chuckles* I didn't think it was aimed at me. And thanks for the compliment.

I can understand your parents' attitude since they had been taken advantage of at times. I'm wary about being taken advantage of myself however I don't let that stop me from being the person I want to be. It simply means that I think before posting any comments and I only offer to help if I know I can actually do something. =^.^=

Since the usual local response was to refuse offers of help that definitely is a cultural thing. The offers were most likely appreciated even if not accepted.