Strange Days
Well I feel kinda odd posting personal info in these and hate sounding emo but I must admit the last couple months have been an odd rollcoaster of wonderful and sad at the same time. This weekend I finally realized that my mom's condition is hitting it's hardest and I'm not sure she'll recover ever, all week she was under the impression that somehow my sister is dead even though she's been talking to her all week and apparently not remember one of the convos. I finally called my sister who said that I should go with mom to her appointment with the professionals and let them know about all the things I've noticed and I am going to try but I also have realized that to pursue the things I need and love in life I need to get out because she just gets too out there and paranoid. So I'm going to really throw this moving out thing into action this week. I think the reason this has been so hard is because I really have no one to lean back on for support, all my life like most people I've had a parent there to help guide or at least somewhat give me an idea of how to solve things and assurance that everything will be ok but these past years that figure hasn't been there and I have no close friends or family to help...this weekend I'll be in Reno visiting my father's side of the family, hopefully they'll help move me out. To boot for some reason I'm not recieving all of Erin's text or calls so I hope she doesn't think I'm ignoring her or anything, it must be something to do with her in Seattle cuz my phone works fine for everyone around here and though I know its just a little technical bug it still causes distress due to the not being sure, I'm sure she's fine though and having a good time. So yea thats enough of the whiney emo stuff I dunno I guess it just helps to write it out and than hear something back on it to asure you that you aren't going crazy yourself sometimes. I did have a good weekend though, got to celebrate nicoles birthday which was awesome, saw a lot of mark and gerald which is always a treat. Met a rather old ticket scalper for a strip club which ended up steering us away from the whole thing which is good because to be honest I've seen my fair share and the area was pretty shady, not to mention I have a gf and no real desire or need to go watch that anyway. Well I'm gonna keep my head up and make the best choices I can and hope for the best, its been a long weekend.