Okay so I guess this is from that urban fantasy AU I never wrote? :D --- "I'll pay you in kisses," she said, and Rennac was 99% certain he'd heard that wrong. Then again, he'd thought he had been hearing wrong when she told him she had just destroyed a city bus for leering at her or that she was inviting one of the zoo lions over for tea. It turned out, each time, that his hearing was absolutely fine and Princess L'Arachel was insane. There were so many bats in her belfry, he thought, that there wasn't even a belfry anymore - only more bats.
Granted, she was a princess of the Fair Folk and he had no right to expect any differently. But he was hardly going to let that stop him.
"Run that by me again?" he said, in case he really had misheard this time.
"I will pay you," she said very slowly, "in kisses."
He considered this. It was not entirely an unappealing prospect. There had to be a catch somewhere. "From you, Princess?" He returned his attention to the newspaper. "I'll only accept cash."
"But a kiss has so much more value," she said. "It's sweeter and tastes better."
He held the newspaper up a little higher so that he would not start studying her lips. He had always wondered whether she used some kind of weird magical Fair Folk lipstick or they were just naturally that color - green, matching her hair. It should have looked off-putting, but somehow it very much... didn't. It worked somehow, with the alien pallor and the shimmering many-layered dresses and whatever the hell was going on with her eyes (he was not sold on the sixth finger yet).
"It's really not such a very difficult task," she said, which in L'Arachel language meant he could probably expect to lose a thousand dollars or get hit by a motorcycle. "Moderately challenging" tasks meant he could expect both. "Do be reasonable, Rennac dear. I don't make this kind of offer to everyone."
"Pay up front," he said, sarcastically, knowing she never would, "and thy will may be done. May."
But then, suddenly, the breakfast table was covered in small silver-wrapped milk chocolates. Rennac lowered the paper slowly to take a look, hoping that had not actually just happened. It had. "Oh, goddammit."
L'Arachel beamed at him. "Well, I'll just leave you to get ready, then. Don't forget a hat." She paused, frowning thoughtfully. "And possibly a socket wrench."
And then she was gone. He didn't even like chocolate.
---
"I'll pay you in kisses," she said, and Rennac was 99% certain he'd heard that wrong. Then again, he'd thought he had been hearing wrong when she told him she had just destroyed a city bus for leering at her or that she was inviting one of the zoo lions over for tea. It turned out, each time, that his hearing was absolutely fine and Princess L'Arachel was insane. There were so many bats in her belfry, he thought, that there wasn't even a belfry anymore - only more bats.
Granted, she was a princess of the Fair Folk and he had no right to expect any differently. But he was hardly going to let that stop him.
"Run that by me again?" he said, in case he really had misheard this time.
"I will pay you," she said very slowly, "in kisses."
He considered this. It was not entirely an unappealing prospect. There had to be a catch somewhere. "From you, Princess?" He returned his attention to the newspaper. "I'll only accept cash."
"But a kiss has so much more value," she said. "It's sweeter and tastes better."
He held the newspaper up a little higher so that he would not start studying her lips. He had always wondered whether she used some kind of weird magical Fair Folk lipstick or they were just naturally that color - green, matching her hair. It should have looked off-putting, but somehow it very much... didn't. It worked somehow, with the alien pallor and the shimmering many-layered dresses and whatever the hell was going on with her eyes (he was not sold on the sixth finger yet).
"It's really not such a very difficult task," she said, which in L'Arachel language meant he could probably expect to lose a thousand dollars or get hit by a motorcycle. "Moderately challenging" tasks meant he could expect both. "Do be reasonable, Rennac dear. I don't make this kind of offer to everyone."
"Pay up front," he said, sarcastically, knowing she never would, "and thy will may be done. May."
But then, suddenly, the breakfast table was covered in small silver-wrapped milk chocolates. Rennac lowered the paper slowly to take a look, hoping that had not actually just happened. It had. "Oh, goddammit."
L'Arachel beamed at him. "Well, I'll just leave you to get ready, then. Don't forget a hat." She paused, frowning thoughtfully. "And possibly a socket wrench."
And then she was gone. He didn't even like chocolate.
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THE BEST THING
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I LOVE THIS.
Needs to be on FFN also.
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I need to. Stop forgetting about my FFN account and dump some fics there while I'm home on break. Yeah.
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