Song Fic - Perfect Nature
Title: Perfect Nature
Author: Charlie
Beta: keiliss
Contact: legolaslovesaragorn@yahoo.co.uk or glorfindelanderestor@yahoo.co.uk
Cast: Erestor
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don’t own these elves, sadly.
Summary: If everything you see, everything you are is a lie, how do you know where to find yourself?
A/N: I wrote this a long while back, but it never really got posted or worked on until now.
I'm sorry about the formatting, it was all fine in my file, but LJ just keeps mucking it up.
Song is Everybody’s Fool by Evanescence
Enjoy
charlie
Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
Never was and never will be
Have you no shame, don't you see me
You know you've got everybody fooled
I grimace.
I look back up at the mirror in disgust as I see the pale and fragile elf Reflected in it.
I hate the broken body I see, I hate the pain reflected in his eyes.
But most of all I hate that only I can see him.
I straighten and wipe away the tears, putting on my darkest look, my coldest glare.
Much better.
Behind my mask, no one will look.
Behind the mask I am safe.
And I know I have the world fooled, I know they believe the charade I am living.
Surviving is more like the right word….
I am too scared to let myself live again.
Look, here he comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh, how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
I’m ready to face them now.
My mask in place, my calm returned.
They look at me in fear, like death personified
I roam among them, silent, cold
And perfectly unprejudiced.
But now I know he
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled
How can I deceive them, am I really so cold?
My life is a lie,
I betray my soul to keep my heart safe
And somehow I have everybody fooled.
Every hour I walk is passed upon a stage,
A strange play, mocking
Unreal
Without the mask, where will you hide
Can't find yourself, lost in your lie
My heart hardens as I realise that I am lost…
Lost to coldness, lost to the lie
And lost to this half life
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
Now I know I will never escape
I hate what I have become
I hate the mask I wear
And I hate that nobody knows
That I am alone
It never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled
I see myself in the mirror as I am to others, and this time I truly sneer,
at myself.
For almost the first time I see what is truly there, a liar, and a fool
Trying to be something I am not, and never will be.
And I alone know the truth
It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool
The mask was never me,
Just a cover to hide my broken soul
Never real, always fake
And now I know that he can’t save me,
I can only become myself, or I will lose who I am to this charade.
I will become my own fool.