Happy Birthday, Elf on a Shelf!
Aw, our baby is 3 years old today! I know, it says "established February 15, 2003", but in truth, Elf on a Shelf has been corrupting innocents since June 11, 2006.
About 200'000 innocents have been corrupted so far. Or maybe it was one corrupted innocent who returned 200'000 times. Some people have odd hobbies.
About a year ago, an English travel site included the link to the "Rivendell Tourist Board" in their travel-recommendations. We actually received booking requests (I have no words).
The most copied phrase off the site is Orophin's "You. My Talan. Now.", which has turned up in many variations in a delightful number. It's closely followed by "Fried Balrog", which has become a rather popular drink, and "We prefer bow and arrows to canon", the main reason for stomach cramps among Tolkien-purists of the humourless kind.
Furthermore, we have still not established whether Miss Mauburz is an Orc or an Uruk, but as she doesn't really care, we shouldn't, either.
A lot of people, including me, had and have a lot of fun with the website, which is intentionally silly. Anybody who expects finding serious discussion on Professor Tolkien's work on a website operating under a banner saying "We prefer bow and arrows to canon" can't be helped.
I would like to thank all of you who commented over the years and visited The Best Little Aroma Therapy Shop In Rivendell. It's great to see how many lovely people I have meet through the website! But let's not forget those who do NOT like EOAS, they should not have to live in the shadows:
From a poster at the Council of Elrond:
"I always think "Námo" any time I see Nemo. I blame Elf on a Shelf and their stupid... horrible... awful... disgusting... wrong... mumble mumble mumble fanfic, "Finding Námo."
From another poster at the Council of Elrond:
"Another thing: While dying my hair today I kept seeing the L'Oreal bottle out of the corner of my eye and kept reading it as "Lorien Hair Color." It sounds like something straight out of Elf on a Shelf."
By mail, regarding "Kiss Nonfindel":
"Das ganze ist grenzdebiel und unverschämt! Ich schreibe Sandro, der soll euch verklagen!!!!!!"
From fandom_wank:
"Elfslash at its worst. Godawful bodice-rippers!"
From a now deleted LJ:
"It's websites like EOAS that give the LOTR fandom a bad name."
From GAFF:
"They have a Orlando Bloom gallery. Need I say more?"
From deleterius:
"I may get some heat for this since it won the Mithril Awards or some equivalant a few years ago, though--the site is Elf on a Shelf and the fics are The Most Boring Life of Master Erestor. It features horny!bratty!Glorfindel, Mpreg!Erestor (apparantly he is one of a breed of "Mordorian Plains Elves" that may become pregnant through buttsecks) Evil!Galadriel, and so much more."
Another one from deleterius:
"No wait, it's supposed to be humourous. *bitchslap author* Repeat after me: It's not. *slap* It's not. *slap* It's not *slap* ... *trails off*"
Aaaand another one from deleterius:
"*punch* *spork* *slap* *crunch* *stomp stomp stompstompSTOMP*"
And because it's a thing of beauty:
"Simon & Glorfunkle?? And wasn't Garfindel that fat orange cat?"
(I can't help admiring the masterful handling of the English language in that community...)
Last but not least:
From Mauburz the Straggler:
"Mauburz knows you not like her. But that fine, Mauburz not like you, either."
*rises glass of Sloe*
TO THE NEXT THREE YEARS! MERRIMENT, SILLINESS AND LAUGHTER FOR ALL OF ARDA!
*clink*
Erestor
About 200'000 innocents have been corrupted so far. Or maybe it was one corrupted innocent who returned 200'000 times. Some people have odd hobbies.
About a year ago, an English travel site included the link to the "Rivendell Tourist Board" in their travel-recommendations. We actually received booking requests (I have no words).
The most copied phrase off the site is Orophin's "You. My Talan. Now.", which has turned up in many variations in a delightful number. It's closely followed by "Fried Balrog", which has become a rather popular drink, and "We prefer bow and arrows to canon", the main reason for stomach cramps among Tolkien-purists of the humourless kind.
Furthermore, we have still not established whether Miss Mauburz is an Orc or an Uruk, but as she doesn't really care, we shouldn't, either.
A lot of people, including me, had and have a lot of fun with the website, which is intentionally silly. Anybody who expects finding serious discussion on Professor Tolkien's work on a website operating under a banner saying "We prefer bow and arrows to canon" can't be helped.
I would like to thank all of you who commented over the years and visited The Best Little Aroma Therapy Shop In Rivendell. It's great to see how many lovely people I have meet through the website! But let's not forget those who do NOT like EOAS, they should not have to live in the shadows:
From a poster at the Council of Elrond:
"I always think "Námo" any time I see Nemo. I blame Elf on a Shelf and their stupid... horrible... awful... disgusting... wrong... mumble mumble mumble fanfic, "Finding Námo."
From another poster at the Council of Elrond:
"Another thing: While dying my hair today I kept seeing the L'Oreal bottle out of the corner of my eye and kept reading it as "Lorien Hair Color." It sounds like something straight out of Elf on a Shelf."
By mail, regarding "Kiss Nonfindel":
"Das ganze ist grenzdebiel und unverschämt! Ich schreibe Sandro, der soll euch verklagen!!!!!!"
From fandom_wank:
"Elfslash at its worst. Godawful bodice-rippers!"
From a now deleted LJ:
"It's websites like EOAS that give the LOTR fandom a bad name."
From GAFF:
"They have a Orlando Bloom gallery. Need I say more?"
From deleterius:
"I may get some heat for this since it won the Mithril Awards or some equivalant a few years ago, though--the site is Elf on a Shelf and the fics are The Most Boring Life of Master Erestor. It features horny!bratty!Glorfindel, Mpreg!Erestor (apparantly he is one of a breed of "Mordorian Plains Elves" that may become pregnant through buttsecks) Evil!Galadriel, and so much more."
Another one from deleterius:
"No wait, it's supposed to be humourous. *bitchslap author* Repeat after me: It's not. *slap* It's not. *slap* It's not *slap* ... *trails off*"
Aaaand another one from deleterius:
"*punch* *spork* *slap* *crunch* *stomp stomp stompstompSTOMP*"
And because it's a thing of beauty:
"Simon & Glorfunkle?? And wasn't Garfindel that fat orange cat?"
(I can't help admiring the masterful handling of the English language in that community...)
Last but not least:
From Mauburz the Straggler:
"Mauburz knows you not like her. But that fine, Mauburz not like you, either."
*rises glass of Sloe*
TO THE NEXT THREE YEARS! MERRIMENT, SILLINESS AND LAUGHTER FOR ALL OF ARDA!
*clink*
Erestor