Cue Nervous Breakdown in three, two...
So, after a long mental breakdown on my mom on Monday night, and a long talk with Tom while we were over at his place last night, I spent two-and-a-half hours this afternoon writing, then came home and started looking at CSUs online. Specifically, I looked at CSU Davis a bit, then looked at SF State.
Let's talk a little about irony. My mom wanted to go to go to SF State to study musical theater. He dad wasn't really comfortable with her going to San Fransisco for school. Her mom wasn't thrilled about her going into theater. And her Senior year of high School, she got braces. She didn't go to SF State. And now what am I doing? trying to figure out if I've got the guts and the stamina to apply for SF State for a B.A. in Theater with a concentration in Theatrical Design/Production.
I really need to go talk to a councellor and see if this is even feasable. After this semester I'll have the required number of units for an AA, but not necessarily the classes, so I need to look at what I'd still need. I suppose it would be ideal if I could transfer at the same time as Tom, thus enabling us to carpool/take classes together, but that would only give me one more semester.
Did I mention that I am scared out of my bloody mind and am starting to work myself into a panic over this? If some one would just write out the plan, hand it to me on a piece of paper, and say "okay, here's what you take when and where, and at the end of it you'll have this" I would be perfectly fine. But having to do it myself? I am utterly terrified that I am going to screw something up. That I won't take the right classes, that I won't write a good enough application essay, that I'll forget everything and fail my classes.
Or for that matter, what if I go into this thinking it's what I want to do, and then halfway through I realize it's not? I tell myself that I know that I want a career involving theater, but do I really? That was the thing that I could figure out when we were talking about it last night. What is it that scares me, what is it that I really want to do? I don't know.
Everything in my life revolves around fantasies. Writing them down in stories, creating them on a stage, playing them in a computer game. Maybe I'm scared because this is still a fantasy, but it can screw over my reality if it goes awry.
Let's talk a little about irony. My mom wanted to go to go to SF State to study musical theater. He dad wasn't really comfortable with her going to San Fransisco for school. Her mom wasn't thrilled about her going into theater. And her Senior year of high School, she got braces. She didn't go to SF State. And now what am I doing? trying to figure out if I've got the guts and the stamina to apply for SF State for a B.A. in Theater with a concentration in Theatrical Design/Production.
I really need to go talk to a councellor and see if this is even feasable. After this semester I'll have the required number of units for an AA, but not necessarily the classes, so I need to look at what I'd still need. I suppose it would be ideal if I could transfer at the same time as Tom, thus enabling us to carpool/take classes together, but that would only give me one more semester.
Did I mention that I am scared out of my bloody mind and am starting to work myself into a panic over this? If some one would just write out the plan, hand it to me on a piece of paper, and say "okay, here's what you take when and where, and at the end of it you'll have this" I would be perfectly fine. But having to do it myself? I am utterly terrified that I am going to screw something up. That I won't take the right classes, that I won't write a good enough application essay, that I'll forget everything and fail my classes.
Or for that matter, what if I go into this thinking it's what I want to do, and then halfway through I realize it's not? I tell myself that I know that I want a career involving theater, but do I really? That was the thing that I could figure out when we were talking about it last night. What is it that scares me, what is it that I really want to do? I don't know.
Everything in my life revolves around fantasies. Writing them down in stories, creating them on a stage, playing them in a computer game. Maybe I'm scared because this is still a fantasy, but it can screw over my reality if it goes awry.