People who shouldn't be parents
People who shouldn't be parents: Why Aizen doesn't have children
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Word Count: 499
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Aizen and Gin discuss parenting
"Cap'n Aizen," began Gin, "What kinda father do ya think ya would make?" he asked suddenly.
"Ichimaru!" interjected Tosen, "We were discussion our plans for the coming fight in Karakura Town!" he pointed out, "We need to do this. We need to...."
"I would make a great father," replied Aizen, cutting Tosen off, "I would teach my children to be self reliant and help them to grow-up as strong, independent people who would bring credit to my name."
"So if ya think that, how come ya don' have no children?" wondered Ichimaru.
"I never met the right woman," replied Aizen, "Most women would not let me do what I wanted with my children and nothing weakens a person more then an interfering, doting mother."
"Ya could always just impregnate a random woman and then steal the baby off of 'er and raise 'em however ya want," suggested Ichimaru.
"Well I was actually thinking of impregnating that Orihime girl after the war was over. Then I would take the children from her and raise them as I please!" replied Aizen, "With properly management they will surely be as ideal individuals as you, yourself are. After all, you are something like a son to me."
"Thanks!" replied Gin from a grin, "What kinda father do a think I would make?" wondered Gin.
"A terrible one!" screamed Tosen, "Can we get on with the meeting?"
"I must agree with Kaname," replied Aizen, "You would spoil any girls you have and be too hard on any boys you have."
"I don' want boys," declared Gin, "I just want cute little girls that I can dress-up in pretty Kimonos and tie their hair-up in colourful ribbons and give 'er all the stuff I couldn't give Rangiku when we were young. Of course all my girls will be as beautiful as my Rangiku, cause the girls will all take after 'er and then I'll build a big fortress and keep Rangiku and my girls locked away in it, away from everyone so no one could take 'em away from me. I'll kill anyone who even looks at 'em! Starting with Hisagi!" he emphasised this by pulling out a very battered and abused Hisagi voodoo doll and stabbing it with Shinsou repeatedly, "Die ya scarred punk! Stop ogling my Rangiku ya worthless trash!"
"I think it is time for some tea, Kaname," said Aizen as Gin proceeded to pulling out a Hitsugaya doll and doing the same to it while mumbling, "Ya die too, Cap'n Ten! We all know ya are in love with my Rangiku! Die! Die! Die!"
"Yes Aizen-sama," replied Tosen as Gin started pulling out dolls of other male members of the Gotei 13 and started stabbing them all, "Ya can all die! Ya wanna know why I betrayed Soul Society! Cause I wanted ta kill ya all! Stop looking at her! Just cause she shows her breasts don' mean ya have to look at 'em! Have some self control already! Die! Die! Die!"
Author's Notes: Out of character I know, but I am just having fun with this story.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Word Count: 499
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Aizen and Gin discuss parenting
"Cap'n Aizen," began Gin, "What kinda father do ya think ya would make?" he asked suddenly.
"Ichimaru!" interjected Tosen, "We were discussion our plans for the coming fight in Karakura Town!" he pointed out, "We need to do this. We need to...."
"I would make a great father," replied Aizen, cutting Tosen off, "I would teach my children to be self reliant and help them to grow-up as strong, independent people who would bring credit to my name."
"So if ya think that, how come ya don' have no children?" wondered Ichimaru.
"I never met the right woman," replied Aizen, "Most women would not let me do what I wanted with my children and nothing weakens a person more then an interfering, doting mother."
"Ya could always just impregnate a random woman and then steal the baby off of 'er and raise 'em however ya want," suggested Ichimaru.
"Well I was actually thinking of impregnating that Orihime girl after the war was over. Then I would take the children from her and raise them as I please!" replied Aizen, "With properly management they will surely be as ideal individuals as you, yourself are. After all, you are something like a son to me."
"Thanks!" replied Gin from a grin, "What kinda father do a think I would make?" wondered Gin.
"A terrible one!" screamed Tosen, "Can we get on with the meeting?"
"I must agree with Kaname," replied Aizen, "You would spoil any girls you have and be too hard on any boys you have."
"I don' want boys," declared Gin, "I just want cute little girls that I can dress-up in pretty Kimonos and tie their hair-up in colourful ribbons and give 'er all the stuff I couldn't give Rangiku when we were young. Of course all my girls will be as beautiful as my Rangiku, cause the girls will all take after 'er and then I'll build a big fortress and keep Rangiku and my girls locked away in it, away from everyone so no one could take 'em away from me. I'll kill anyone who even looks at 'em! Starting with Hisagi!" he emphasised this by pulling out a very battered and abused Hisagi voodoo doll and stabbing it with Shinsou repeatedly, "Die ya scarred punk! Stop ogling my Rangiku ya worthless trash!"
"I think it is time for some tea, Kaname," said Aizen as Gin proceeded to pulling out a Hitsugaya doll and doing the same to it while mumbling, "Ya die too, Cap'n Ten! We all know ya are in love with my Rangiku! Die! Die! Die!"
"Yes Aizen-sama," replied Tosen as Gin started pulling out dolls of other male members of the Gotei 13 and started stabbing them all, "Ya can all die! Ya wanna know why I betrayed Soul Society! Cause I wanted ta kill ya all! Stop looking at her! Just cause she shows her breasts don' mean ya have to look at 'em! Have some self control already! Die! Die! Die!"
Author's Notes: Out of character I know, but I am just having fun with this story.