Incoming Identity Crisis
Dear Family,
would you please stop encouraging me?
You know it really puts a huge pressure on me, when I hear sentences like "Oh, we all know, you're going to do this, dear!", "You'll be successful!" or "We believe in you!"
I know, you just say so because you care for me and stuff and I love you for doing this... but... why start now with saying things like that? T_T You never said anything like that when I was younger.
It's like you saw my A-level results and thought "Wow, she is smarter than I thought! Why didn't I ever notice?"
I never learnt to deal with people's expectations, because nobody ever believed in me and everything single one of my accomplishments was achieved because I WANTED to achieve it. And know you start with putting expectations on me? What are you doing? Is that your new way to torture me now that I don't live at home anymore?
The thought of disappointing them is always there...
Please say I am going to suck as hell in studies or just keep quiet... I'd feel a lot better.
The pressure I put on myself is more than enough for me to deal with, so I don't need your help...
What's even worse is that some people seem to think of me as "the family's genius".
Hell, I am not, I am not even smart. I was just always alone so I had a lot of time to think and figure out how some things work!
I was not good at German because I am born as a linguistic genius but because I started writing fanfiction.
I know how to speak more or less proper English because I read fanfiction written be REAL native English speaking people and not because of some crap someone in Stuttgart wrote. (Haha, yes, because of anime and manga, those things you used to call "crap" everytime you had the chance to talk to me!)
I was always good at sience because I used to play outside and was really fond of nature.
PLUS:
I was LAZY AS HELL!!!
Do you really wanna portray some lazy bum like me as roll model for your children?
DUH!
*lol* I feel better now.
I really love my family with all my heart by the way.
would you please stop encouraging me?
You know it really puts a huge pressure on me, when I hear sentences like "Oh, we all know, you're going to do this, dear!", "You'll be successful!" or "We believe in you!"
I know, you just say so because you care for me and stuff and I love you for doing this... but... why start now with saying things like that? T_T You never said anything like that when I was younger.
It's like you saw my A-level results and thought "Wow, she is smarter than I thought! Why didn't I ever notice?"
I never learnt to deal with people's expectations, because nobody ever believed in me and everything single one of my accomplishments was achieved because I WANTED to achieve it. And know you start with putting expectations on me? What are you doing? Is that your new way to torture me now that I don't live at home anymore?
The thought of disappointing them is always there...
Please say I am going to suck as hell in studies or just keep quiet... I'd feel a lot better.
The pressure I put on myself is more than enough for me to deal with, so I don't need your help...
What's even worse is that some people seem to think of me as "the family's genius".
Hell, I am not, I am not even smart. I was just always alone so I had a lot of time to think and figure out how some things work!
I was not good at German because I am born as a linguistic genius but because I started writing fanfiction.
I know how to speak more or less proper English because I read fanfiction written be REAL native English speaking people and not because of some crap someone in Stuttgart wrote. (Haha, yes, because of anime and manga, those things you used to call "crap" everytime you had the chance to talk to me!)
I was always good at sience because I used to play outside and was really fond of nature.
PLUS:
I was LAZY AS HELL!!!
Do you really wanna portray some lazy bum like me as roll model for your children?
DUH!
*lol* I feel better now.
I really love my family with all my heart by the way.