Hmph!
Elwine, you liar! I jumped off the front step a few times, but it just wasn't steep enough for that satisfying squishy death.
So I climbed up into a tower with an umbrella.
And landed in a tuba. With an internet connection. I think it's the National Marching Corps of Ithilien.
It's sort of dark in here, and there's regular blasts of air up my ass. I'm becoming slightly constipated.
Help. Me.