There are things I should be doing.... and tcby
but I'm at home... undecided about any direction I want to take. I would really love some tcby, white chocolate mouse/chocolate mix with brownie bits. But I don't feel like getting dressed to any degree to go and get it. :-/
Huh, I just realized I don't like emoticons that have the 'nose' on them, but that one looked weird with out it. Haha.
So the past two days at work have been excruciatingly long. Not sure why, but I need to work on this whole motivation thing to get my stuff done, work at work, thesis at home, etc. I've been in irritable mood and I know why but I'm irritated that any/all of it is irritating me. Yeah, sucks.
I want to throw out my phone, or have one that only allows outgoing calls. Cause I get so irritated with myself that I put it on silent and practically watch it to see if anyone calls usually... that's so weird? I have no idea why I do that.
Oh man, last night was interesting, when babysitting the two little girls. Got to change diapers, GAG. They are great, but it made me realize how involving kids are... and how completely ready you have to be or rise to the occasion to be a parent cause if you don't or still act as selfish as you really are then you are being a shitty parent. This world has enough of those, I would not want to be one. Just woah. Made me realize I have a long way to go before I can really honestly ever think that I WANT children. I've not been the girl that longs for a family - I've longed for a husband - but that's for intimate/intimacy purposes. But babies and full on "family" is something I've always seen as so far out that... I've not really wanted it. I want a good three or so or more years with just me and my hubby... and this is kinda sad cause, I've not met one guy that has piqued my interest. They are all too young, or obvious things about them that I'm avoiding or completely unattractive, and some of the guys I've met are definitely not ready to be married. But guess what, I am. I think I am. Perhaps God hasn't allowed this guy to walk into my life cause I might run him out anyway? Or... is someone really being molded... out of his obvious imperfections to be the perfect guy for me?
UGH. Just all of it sucks cause relationships suck and yes, I'm extremely picky and refuse to EVER settle for anything less than what I want... but that is proving to be a little more lonely than I'd ever thought. Cause no one measures up. Oh well... I suppose I can be one of those people that pours every bit of themselves into a cause and just say screw it! But even then it would be out of the half hope that cosmic waves would say to someone "hey, she doesn't want it now... go after her!"
Oookkkk... this was a lot more in depth than I thought it would be. Huh.
Still want that tcby, *sigh*
Huh, I just realized I don't like emoticons that have the 'nose' on them, but that one looked weird with out it. Haha.
So the past two days at work have been excruciatingly long. Not sure why, but I need to work on this whole motivation thing to get my stuff done, work at work, thesis at home, etc. I've been in irritable mood and I know why but I'm irritated that any/all of it is irritating me. Yeah, sucks.
I want to throw out my phone, or have one that only allows outgoing calls. Cause I get so irritated with myself that I put it on silent and practically watch it to see if anyone calls usually... that's so weird? I have no idea why I do that.
Oh man, last night was interesting, when babysitting the two little girls. Got to change diapers, GAG. They are great, but it made me realize how involving kids are... and how completely ready you have to be or rise to the occasion to be a parent cause if you don't or still act as selfish as you really are then you are being a shitty parent. This world has enough of those, I would not want to be one. Just woah. Made me realize I have a long way to go before I can really honestly ever think that I WANT children. I've not been the girl that longs for a family - I've longed for a husband - but that's for intimate/intimacy purposes. But babies and full on "family" is something I've always seen as so far out that... I've not really wanted it. I want a good three or so or more years with just me and my hubby... and this is kinda sad cause, I've not met one guy that has piqued my interest. They are all too young, or obvious things about them that I'm avoiding or completely unattractive, and some of the guys I've met are definitely not ready to be married. But guess what, I am. I think I am. Perhaps God hasn't allowed this guy to walk into my life cause I might run him out anyway? Or... is someone really being molded... out of his obvious imperfections to be the perfect guy for me?
UGH. Just all of it sucks cause relationships suck and yes, I'm extremely picky and refuse to EVER settle for anything less than what I want... but that is proving to be a little more lonely than I'd ever thought. Cause no one measures up. Oh well... I suppose I can be one of those people that pours every bit of themselves into a cause and just say screw it! But even then it would be out of the half hope that cosmic waves would say to someone "hey, she doesn't want it now... go after her!"
Oookkkk... this was a lot more in depth than I thought it would be. Huh.
Still want that tcby, *sigh*