After Christmas.
Well...
Christmas sucked this year.
No snow. I literally don't remember snow-less Christmas. WTF? :/
After christmas eve's dinner I was crying alone in my pillow.
When my sister called from England and broke into phone I couldn't take it anymore.
Traditionally we spend Christmas day at my grandma's. My Dad's mom. And so we did this time.
It was fine, though. My grandma is really great and it always always brings memories but... I don't need to be reminded of how it was with Dad, I don't need to hear all those anecdotes again... I remember everything, okay? I do. And I will never forget. And it's Christmas and I miss him even more so I really don't need to be reminded.
Second day I spent home. Making playlists with my brother, singing and dancing to his new hit "Ai se eu te pego". On repeat. And it was pretty fun. And when I finally was alone I drank. I was drinking. And was eating chocolate. Trying not to cry again.
The only good thing in this time was the awareness of you. Of your presence, though so distant. Of this warmth in my heart seeing your name on my phone screen. Of just knowing that just you are. It made everything better.
And thank you for that. Thank you for making my Christmas better. Thank you for everything.
I love you Rebecka.
I love you so much.
Christmas sucked this year.
No snow. I literally don't remember snow-less Christmas. WTF? :/
After christmas eve's dinner I was crying alone in my pillow.
When my sister called from England and broke into phone I couldn't take it anymore.
Traditionally we spend Christmas day at my grandma's. My Dad's mom. And so we did this time.
It was fine, though. My grandma is really great and it always always brings memories but... I don't need to be reminded of how it was with Dad, I don't need to hear all those anecdotes again... I remember everything, okay? I do. And I will never forget. And it's Christmas and I miss him even more so I really don't need to be reminded.
Second day I spent home. Making playlists with my brother, singing and dancing to his new hit "Ai se eu te pego". On repeat. And it was pretty fun. And when I finally was alone I drank. I was drinking. And was eating chocolate. Trying not to cry again.
The only good thing in this time was the awareness of you. Of your presence, though so distant. Of this warmth in my heart seeing your name on my phone screen. Of just knowing that just you are. It made everything better.
And thank you for that. Thank you for making my Christmas better. Thank you for everything.
I love you Rebecka.
I love you so much.