100 Questions.
YOUR NAME
(1) The singular boring question: What is your name? Onj
(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
Jeremy
(3) Would you name a child of yours after you?
nah, that would be the ultimate egotism.
(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?
I always wanted a v. straight forward name like my best friend Elizabeth when I was younger..or Kristin.
(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
Ang
(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name?
Totally
DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?
Not really
(8) Do you think God has a gender?
Maybe not.
(9) Do you think science counteracts religion?
Yes.
(10) Do you believe in organized religion?
No, I think faith is very personal.
(11) Where do you think we go when we die?
We probably go nowhere.
(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section?
Nope, this is covered territory.
(13) How easy is it to make you laugh?
I laugh at everything basically
(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most?
My dad
(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't?
If you mean like old people falling, then yes.
(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't?
Like about old people falling, or [20 years later I’m editing this for something horrible i said. I apologize if i hurt Anyone 🫶]? then yes.
(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?
Bagina, diarrhea
(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written?
"I was thinking what my life has been missing is a good dowg movie."
MUSIC
(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching?
I live alone, that's all I do really.
(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?
I like to move it move it.
(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?
eh..
(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head?
Shake.
(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?
Prince - Controversy
(24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would use?
I will follow you into the dark..
(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? Same
MOVIES
(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to?
Wayne's World 2
(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original?
No, all 3 lord of the rings rocked my life.
(28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character? yoda
(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of?
More movies that are inspiring like "life is beautiful" or "amelie".
(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of?
horror movies.
FOOD
(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? both
(32) What's your favorite kind of cheese?
I honestly never met a cheese I didn't like.
(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?
I like things that are savory.
(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?
I just got back from chinatown and I want to barf all my guts out.
(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?
The chickens head was still on and it was looking at me, what do you think?
COMPUTERS
(36) Mac or PC?
MAC bitches.
(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?
As long as this bitch is working I don't care at all.
(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?
How bout always?
(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?
For awhile, but not anymore.
(40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?
No, I'm pretty good about it
THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?
Yes, during a night of drinking when my bladder is about to explode while looking for an actual bathroom.
(42) What do you love most about the other gender?
I love everything about them
(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender?
Their indifference.
(44) What do you understand least about the other gender?
Men are probably the subject I know most about in life..followed by clothes..
CELEBRITIES
(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? Word..Can you say "Jarhead"! Yum!
(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most?
I don't care much for that nonsense.
(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who?
Winona Ryder and Stacey Keanen.
(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?
Natalie Portman. Just cause she's small and stuff.
(49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why?
I really don't know what you are saying.
(50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter?
Bjork - it'd be like wtf???
(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich?
Sure, I'd bone some hotties.
NUMBERS?
(52) Do you laugh when you hear the number 69? nope.
(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?
maybe
(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number? Yes
(55) Do you actually know your IP address? why would I?
(56) Do you know what an IP address is? Yes
(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code?
Hell no! I hate mail men
(58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?
Yes
(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? my brain hurts always.
(60) What do you think of pi? pie? 3.14pie?
I loved that movie, Mmm...pecanny goodness, Mmm..math..
LOVE, AND ALL THAT
(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?
I did actually.
(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
uncomfortable.
(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"?
Depends on how hot they are.
(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?
Depends on how hot they are.
(65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?
No, I do what I want. I've asked plenty of guys in my day.
(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
It's a little bland.
(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?
No, if I am attracted to them, then they are attractive in my eyes.
(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?
I've been told a few times they do.
(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? my emotional commitments basically revolve around sex.
(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence?
What?
HOLIDAYS
(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? Yes
(77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? 40 or 45
(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? Ballerina
(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?
Some lame shit I put together in a lame attempt to get candy in HS. LAME.
(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning?
St. Patricks Day! All about the Drinking and the Stinkin' Irish.
(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August- what should be put there?
Fuck more day. Or "Italian Ice Day"
MEMORIES
(82) How good is your short-term memory? not so good
(83) How good is your long-term memory?
You have no idea the details that I can remember.
(84) What is your earliest memory?
My first Christmas. I'm not kidding.
(85) What is your happiest memory? That first christmas with my dad was pretty fucking good.
(86) What is your strangest memory? Weird dreams I had as a child.
(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize?
I've memorized them already.
TEARS
(88) What movie makes/made you cry?
Eternal Sunshine, I've put that to rest for awhile.
(89) What book makes/made you cry?
perks
(90) What song makes/made you cry?
Cat Power - Good Woman
(91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried?
Malcolm
THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS
(92) Would you like to be cloned? I would actually. I LOVE me!
(93) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it?
No, I would probably just die so I wouldn't have to run.
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
(100) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? a half hour ago.
(101) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? That I'm really a good person.
(1) The singular boring question: What is your name? Onj
(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
Jeremy
(3) Would you name a child of yours after you?
nah, that would be the ultimate egotism.
(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?
I always wanted a v. straight forward name like my best friend Elizabeth when I was younger..or Kristin.
(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
Ang
(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name?
Totally
DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?
Not really
(8) Do you think God has a gender?
Maybe not.
(9) Do you think science counteracts religion?
Yes.
(10) Do you believe in organized religion?
No, I think faith is very personal.
(11) Where do you think we go when we die?
We probably go nowhere.
(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section?
Nope, this is covered territory.
(13) How easy is it to make you laugh?
I laugh at everything basically
(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most?
My dad
(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't?
If you mean like old people falling, then yes.
(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't?
Like about old people falling, or [20 years later I’m editing this for something horrible i said. I apologize if i hurt Anyone 🫶]? then yes.
(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?
Bagina, diarrhea
(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written?
"I was thinking what my life has been missing is a good dowg movie."
MUSIC
(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching?
I live alone, that's all I do really.
(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?
I like to move it move it.
(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?
eh..
(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head?
Shake.
(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?
Prince - Controversy
(24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would use?
I will follow you into the dark..
(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? Same
MOVIES
(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to?
Wayne's World 2
(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original?
No, all 3 lord of the rings rocked my life.
(28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character? yoda
(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of?
More movies that are inspiring like "life is beautiful" or "amelie".
(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of?
horror movies.
FOOD
(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? both
(32) What's your favorite kind of cheese?
I honestly never met a cheese I didn't like.
(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?
I like things that are savory.
(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?
I just got back from chinatown and I want to barf all my guts out.
(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?
The chickens head was still on and it was looking at me, what do you think?
COMPUTERS
(36) Mac or PC?
MAC bitches.
(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?
As long as this bitch is working I don't care at all.
(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?
How bout always?
(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?
For awhile, but not anymore.
(40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?
No, I'm pretty good about it
THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?
Yes, during a night of drinking when my bladder is about to explode while looking for an actual bathroom.
(42) What do you love most about the other gender?
I love everything about them
(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender?
Their indifference.
(44) What do you understand least about the other gender?
Men are probably the subject I know most about in life..followed by clothes..
CELEBRITIES
(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? Word..Can you say "Jarhead"! Yum!
(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most?
I don't care much for that nonsense.
(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who?
Winona Ryder and Stacey Keanen.
(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?
Natalie Portman. Just cause she's small and stuff.
(49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why?
I really don't know what you are saying.
(50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter?
Bjork - it'd be like wtf???
(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich?
Sure, I'd bone some hotties.
NUMBERS?
(52) Do you laugh when you hear the number 69? nope.
(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?
maybe
(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number? Yes
(55) Do you actually know your IP address? why would I?
(56) Do you know what an IP address is? Yes
(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code?
Hell no! I hate mail men
(58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?
Yes
(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? my brain hurts always.
(60) What do you think of pi? pie? 3.14pie?
I loved that movie, Mmm...pecanny goodness, Mmm..math..
LOVE, AND ALL THAT
(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?
I did actually.
(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
uncomfortable.
(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"?
Depends on how hot they are.
(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?
Depends on how hot they are.
(65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?
No, I do what I want. I've asked plenty of guys in my day.
(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
It's a little bland.
(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?
No, if I am attracted to them, then they are attractive in my eyes.
(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?
I've been told a few times they do.
(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? my emotional commitments basically revolve around sex.
(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence?
What?
HOLIDAYS
(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you? Yes
(77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? 40 or 45
(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? Ballerina
(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?
Some lame shit I put together in a lame attempt to get candy in HS. LAME.
(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning?
St. Patricks Day! All about the Drinking and the Stinkin' Irish.
(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August- what should be put there?
Fuck more day. Or "Italian Ice Day"
MEMORIES
(82) How good is your short-term memory? not so good
(83) How good is your long-term memory?
You have no idea the details that I can remember.
(84) What is your earliest memory?
My first Christmas. I'm not kidding.
(85) What is your happiest memory? That first christmas with my dad was pretty fucking good.
(86) What is your strangest memory? Weird dreams I had as a child.
(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize?
I've memorized them already.
TEARS
(88) What movie makes/made you cry?
Eternal Sunshine, I've put that to rest for awhile.
(89) What book makes/made you cry?
perks
(90) What song makes/made you cry?
Cat Power - Good Woman
(91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried?
Malcolm
THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS
(92) Would you like to be cloned? I would actually. I LOVE me!
(93) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it?
No, I would probably just die so I wouldn't have to run.
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
(100) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them? a half hour ago.
(101) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? That I'm really a good person.