Nov 08, 2004 10:44
Today is my last day of smoking... ever.
I promise.
After Drinking last night, and not getting much sleep, I woke up at 7:30 this morning, feeling like shit, so i could go to my ESR class. My body is drained. I was actually supposed to wake up at six, but i didn't feel like it was physically possible for me to get out of bed at that point. Didn't eat - instead stopped for a tripple latte on the way, which made me feel even more like shit. Smoked a couple of cigarettes. Most of you don't know this, but sometimes when I smoke early in the morning, I get these slight tremors (primarily in my hands) to the point where i can't control myself anymore. But it doesn't happen everyday, and doesn't last more than 5 minutes usually so i don't worry about it.
Anyways... So i went to class all jacked up on caffeine and nicotine, and an empty stomache, being sleep deprived and feeling like shit.... the tremors started. just a little at first. I waited for them to stop. They didn't. My whole body started shaking. It went on for a good 45 minutes, and became extremely noticable, until it got to the point where i couldn't even write anymore. People started staring at me. My heart started beating rapidly... it felt like it was going to fucking jump out of my chest.. and then it started to hurt really bad. And my vision started to fade. I was sure i was going to pass out. Or have a heart attack or something. I almost asked the girl next to me if she'd walk me to the CC building to a nurse or something. But it was embarassing, and I didn't want to disrupt the class any more so than i already had. I got up and walked to the information desk in the CC building and asked the lady if there was a nurse available. It was hard to even talk... I couldnt' keep my voice steady. She saw that i was shaking, and had me sit in her chair and tried to relax me a bit. The paramedic came and took my blood pressure. It was high. He asked what i had done, and he told me to eat something and to quit smoking, or id probably eventually die from a heart attack.
It's been three hours.. and my hands are still shaking a bit.