well i knew things were gonna suck soon..
and boy do they ever! this has been a very shitty day! started out with me getting up and actually getting ready for my 9 am bio class.. this is a miracle in itself, i get there on time, another miracle find a very good spot.. freakin even more amazing.. walking up the hill down the stairs and down the hall to my class to find that there is no class today.. well yay for that. so i go to the libary and print off my study guides.. go tan.. thanks john, once againg :) got burnt.. never a fun thing.. got home at like 1130 and procrastinated studyin for my two tests in bio on wed til like 2, lol. i still have no clue what i was doin all day.. ha ha. so yah then my mom comes over to bring some boxes.. i think i have finally convinced her to let me take tator when i move so thats a plus.. neways and she invites me and/or justin over for dinner.. i say sure why not.. then i go about studying..
then 4:19 rolls around.. my phone was on silent from class the class that i didnt have earlier.. i go upstairs to print off some more shit.. come back down at 420 and notice that justin has called.. but no voice mail.. so i call him back.. no answear wierd. neways like 5 mins later justin calls back, i answear. he says "what are u doin" i say " i was upstairs didnt hear the phone ring, what are you doing?" justin "just got off of work, i was on the phone when you called, what are u doing tongiht?" me "nothing , my mom wants us to come over for dinner round 530 or 6, if u wanna come." "oh well i would but i already made plans to hang out with kim. i told her i would be there around 6" "oic makin bigger better plans now" (as one can guess i am a lil heated that hes goin to hang out with her and not come with me to dinner) justin "no i called you first to see what you were doin and u didnt answear and i told kim i would call her.. so i did and she wasnt doin ne thing and i figured u were out at happy hr or something so i said i would go over there." me " well you could have left a messege or waited a few minutes" justin "well i said i would call her when i got off work and so i called you and then her." me getttin more pissed "okay well whatever" thats my infamous im pissed at you line :) justin "k, well i love you and ill see u in like 20 mins" me "k bye" i get off the phone and burst into tears.. all i can think is its happening.. i mean i knew we would both meet someone new. but shit i already am getting replaced.. and that really hurts.. i mean i shit we still live together. i dunno this seemed like such a big deal then i type it all out and it doesnt seem so big ne more.. but i was still soo hurt and its awful. he has been hangin out with this kim girl alot. and its just kinda wierd... he says that he could never like her.. she has small boobs.. and she leaving for school to eugene, but he has never thought about her in a dating way cuz hes always been with me... oh ya in the conversation i asked what they were doing he said that he was just goin over to her apartment to hang out.. umm ya she lives alone.. this bothers me a lot. and i kno it shouldnt and this is what we both agreed on.. but its really hard.. he says that he would rather spend time with me, thats why he called me first, and when they hang out they dont even touch.. and ibelive him but stilll i dunno i guess i just dont like it .. but then what would i feel like if it was the other way around, prolly different and justin would be the one sittin here all upset and worried.. or would he? then i get online and was lookin at justins my space turns out shes a GOOK.. wtf is justin doin with a gook. never would have thought that in a million urs and shes not even 21 til like august. neways, apparently they have been hangin out alot more then i thought.. he had her go over to watch sopranos with him. so shes meeting his firends already... wtf.. i hate this and he made it sound like today he called kim cuz i didnt answear.. when on her myspace he says that mondy will work.. this was sat night.. but he wanted to hang out with me first.. uh huh.. i just dont kno ne more.. i dunno i guess im a girl and i think to much.. but justin and i never even talked about breakin up til he started hangin out with this kim thing.. makes me think that he thinks that he could like her.. or he does.. so hes breakin up with me for her.. i kno that if i had made plans and justin wanted to go eat at his parents i would do that.. and hang out with someone later.. i mean really how many more parent dinners with us are thier goin to be. shit before i kno it hes goin to be bringin kim over there ..god i really dont want to think about that :( i guess this just makes the whole break up thing more real then it has been. and its hard and its goin to be hard and it sucks..
neways i need sleep.. but stay tuned for the next story. about my dad being a dick.. he doesnt want me to come back home and if i do its only gonna be for like two months.. so now i dont feel welcomed or wanted by neone.. neways.. i will update soon about all that.. for now im sleeping..in my own bed.. fuck boys!
then 4:19 rolls around.. my phone was on silent from class the class that i didnt have earlier.. i go upstairs to print off some more shit.. come back down at 420 and notice that justin has called.. but no voice mail.. so i call him back.. no answear wierd. neways like 5 mins later justin calls back, i answear. he says "what are u doin" i say " i was upstairs didnt hear the phone ring, what are you doing?" justin "just got off of work, i was on the phone when you called, what are u doing tongiht?" me "nothing , my mom wants us to come over for dinner round 530 or 6, if u wanna come." "oh well i would but i already made plans to hang out with kim. i told her i would be there around 6" "oic makin bigger better plans now" (as one can guess i am a lil heated that hes goin to hang out with her and not come with me to dinner) justin "no i called you first to see what you were doin and u didnt answear and i told kim i would call her.. so i did and she wasnt doin ne thing and i figured u were out at happy hr or something so i said i would go over there." me " well you could have left a messege or waited a few minutes" justin "well i said i would call her when i got off work and so i called you and then her." me getttin more pissed "okay well whatever" thats my infamous im pissed at you line :) justin "k, well i love you and ill see u in like 20 mins" me "k bye" i get off the phone and burst into tears.. all i can think is its happening.. i mean i knew we would both meet someone new. but shit i already am getting replaced.. and that really hurts.. i mean i shit we still live together. i dunno this seemed like such a big deal then i type it all out and it doesnt seem so big ne more.. but i was still soo hurt and its awful. he has been hangin out with this kim girl alot. and its just kinda wierd... he says that he could never like her.. she has small boobs.. and she leaving for school to eugene, but he has never thought about her in a dating way cuz hes always been with me... oh ya in the conversation i asked what they were doing he said that he was just goin over to her apartment to hang out.. umm ya she lives alone.. this bothers me a lot. and i kno it shouldnt and this is what we both agreed on.. but its really hard.. he says that he would rather spend time with me, thats why he called me first, and when they hang out they dont even touch.. and ibelive him but stilll i dunno i guess i just dont like it .. but then what would i feel like if it was the other way around, prolly different and justin would be the one sittin here all upset and worried.. or would he? then i get online and was lookin at justins my space turns out shes a GOOK.. wtf is justin doin with a gook. never would have thought that in a million urs and shes not even 21 til like august. neways, apparently they have been hangin out alot more then i thought.. he had her go over to watch sopranos with him. so shes meeting his firends already... wtf.. i hate this and he made it sound like today he called kim cuz i didnt answear.. when on her myspace he says that mondy will work.. this was sat night.. but he wanted to hang out with me first.. uh huh.. i just dont kno ne more.. i dunno i guess im a girl and i think to much.. but justin and i never even talked about breakin up til he started hangin out with this kim thing.. makes me think that he thinks that he could like her.. or he does.. so hes breakin up with me for her.. i kno that if i had made plans and justin wanted to go eat at his parents i would do that.. and hang out with someone later.. i mean really how many more parent dinners with us are thier goin to be. shit before i kno it hes goin to be bringin kim over there ..god i really dont want to think about that :( i guess this just makes the whole break up thing more real then it has been. and its hard and its goin to be hard and it sucks..
neways i need sleep.. but stay tuned for the next story. about my dad being a dick.. he doesnt want me to come back home and if i do its only gonna be for like two months.. so now i dont feel welcomed or wanted by neone.. neways.. i will update soon about all that.. for now im sleeping..in my own bed.. fuck boys!