(no subject)

Mar 17, 2007 13:47

i can't help but look back, and think of all the memories we've had together. the never ending nights where we'd just lay together, and laugh .. and then fall asleep knowing that everything was going to be okay .. because we were together, and there was nothing we had to worrry about. and then there were the nights when we would hate eachother, ignoring eachother - which, when i look back now, was probably the smarter thing to do - screaming at eachother, and crying. but anyway i look at it .. the memories, they're there. and they always will be. i can't take back getting mad at you over something so ridiculous, and i don't want to take back falling asleep in your arms. i have to take the good with the bad. and i have to take these memories .. and just let them go. put them away, and only use them when it's absolutely necessary. like when you call me, like you've been .. begging for forgivness. i'll remember how i'm a "little fucking cunt", and how running back to you, like i have atleast 5 times already .. only gets me back to right where i started.

you deserve my gratitude. because honestly, i'm thankful for you. i'm thankful for making me realize that at the end of the day .. when it's all said and done, i don't really need you as much as i thought i did. that maybe, things were meant to be this way. maybe all the hurt you made me feel, was what i needed to actually not need you.

because i feel like i'm fine. i feel like i don't need to speak to you everyday .. and i'm not waiting around for you to call. i'm living my life .. and i'm doing it for me. for once, it's for me.

and it kind of, in a way feels sooooo much better than i thought i would. so thankyou .. really. i never thought i would be saying this .. but thankyou for making me cry, and thankyou for hurting me. because at the end of the day .. i'm the one smiling. and i told you that would happen.
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