(no subject)
because the truth is .. i do love you. & as much as you try and tell me that i don't. i do. if i didn't - i would have given up a long, long time ago.
and something tells me that you care. i know you care, i just think you have a hard time showing that. i don't try and pick on you. i don't get mad over everything you do. but as stupid as this may sound, i'm a girl. and that's how girls are. girls are insecure. and girls need attention. i'm not saying i'm waving my arms around screaming at the top of my lungs wanting to be the center of attention, it's nothing like that. it's just honestly - i confide in you. i feel so much better telling you things, because i know you're a guy. and i KNOW you won't go behing my back and tell someone ( i'm not saying my friends that are girls do ) i'm just the kind of person that has more trust in guys then i do girls. and i'm sure most girls can agree with me. but i need you. i need you to be a boyfriend, not just someone i lay on the couch with, not just someone to kiss. i want you to show me that you care, because if you don't show it .. i don't know. and if i don't know .. that's just one more thing on top of the 10000 million other things to be insecure about.
you know that i love you. and you know that i would do anything for you. i listen to you. when you're upset .. i help you. and i don't think asking for help would be such a hard thing to do. you know that i worry about you. a phone call to tell me that you're okay would be fine. im not asking for you to drop everything you're doing for me. it's not like that. they're just simple things you never do.
sometimes .. i look back on the past. i wonder where i would be now if i never answered your phone call. if i would still be struggling, or if i would be alone .. or even realizing that i had love, and the love i had was hard work, but it was worth the work.
i can't dwell on it .. really, i just think i'm expecting you to be something you're not. and you can't help that .. only i can change what i really want.
and something tells me that you care. i know you care, i just think you have a hard time showing that. i don't try and pick on you. i don't get mad over everything you do. but as stupid as this may sound, i'm a girl. and that's how girls are. girls are insecure. and girls need attention. i'm not saying i'm waving my arms around screaming at the top of my lungs wanting to be the center of attention, it's nothing like that. it's just honestly - i confide in you. i feel so much better telling you things, because i know you're a guy. and i KNOW you won't go behing my back and tell someone ( i'm not saying my friends that are girls do ) i'm just the kind of person that has more trust in guys then i do girls. and i'm sure most girls can agree with me. but i need you. i need you to be a boyfriend, not just someone i lay on the couch with, not just someone to kiss. i want you to show me that you care, because if you don't show it .. i don't know. and if i don't know .. that's just one more thing on top of the 10000 million other things to be insecure about.
you know that i love you. and you know that i would do anything for you. i listen to you. when you're upset .. i help you. and i don't think asking for help would be such a hard thing to do. you know that i worry about you. a phone call to tell me that you're okay would be fine. im not asking for you to drop everything you're doing for me. it's not like that. they're just simple things you never do.
sometimes .. i look back on the past. i wonder where i would be now if i never answered your phone call. if i would still be struggling, or if i would be alone .. or even realizing that i had love, and the love i had was hard work, but it was worth the work.
i can't dwell on it .. really, i just think i'm expecting you to be something you're not. and you can't help that .. only i can change what i really want.