(no subject)
i have only a million things to do right now, or so it seems that way. and i've decided that i'm not doing anything. for right now atleast.
i've put alot of thought into everything lately. the way life works .. how everything i do seems like it's the hardest thing in the world, and i just examine everyone else, everyone who deals with the same things i deal with, everyday .. & they're fine. how someone can make something look so easy, and there i am .. suffering, screaming & gasping for air.
trust is important to me. it always has been .. & it always will be. lieing to me doesn't impress me, lieing to me to save yourself doesn't impress me much either. i've made alot of mistakes in my past relationship, and i can't say i regret any second of it. i've learned so much. i've learned that if your going to hurt me .. i shouldn't take you back & vise versa .. because no, i'm not even close to perfect. but because then you're always going to be here, no matter what. you're going to rip my heart out, you're going to tear me apart inside & i'm going to let you. because the only weakness i'll have in life is you, & you're smart enough to know that.
surprisingly so .. i'm happy right now. i have NO reason to be happy .. i have homework up to my eyeballs, i'm trying so hard in school to get b's on practically every test i've taken. i've been fighting with mike for a good 3 days now, screaming back & forth at eachother every chance we get. my family's border line disfunctional and i'm laughing. i couldn't even tell you why. is that so wrong ?
maybe life isn't as bad as i thought ..
i've put alot of thought into everything lately. the way life works .. how everything i do seems like it's the hardest thing in the world, and i just examine everyone else, everyone who deals with the same things i deal with, everyday .. & they're fine. how someone can make something look so easy, and there i am .. suffering, screaming & gasping for air.
trust is important to me. it always has been .. & it always will be. lieing to me doesn't impress me, lieing to me to save yourself doesn't impress me much either. i've made alot of mistakes in my past relationship, and i can't say i regret any second of it. i've learned so much. i've learned that if your going to hurt me .. i shouldn't take you back & vise versa .. because no, i'm not even close to perfect. but because then you're always going to be here, no matter what. you're going to rip my heart out, you're going to tear me apart inside & i'm going to let you. because the only weakness i'll have in life is you, & you're smart enough to know that.
surprisingly so .. i'm happy right now. i have NO reason to be happy .. i have homework up to my eyeballs, i'm trying so hard in school to get b's on practically every test i've taken. i've been fighting with mike for a good 3 days now, screaming back & forth at eachother every chance we get. my family's border line disfunctional and i'm laughing. i couldn't even tell you why. is that so wrong ?
maybe life isn't as bad as i thought ..