The fact of the matter is: The ball's in my court
Why is it that in life, the ultimate choice is left up to you? It is interesting to point out that while others might believe that ultimate choices happen every day, this is actually untrue. The fact of the matter is that ultimate choices come around after the choices of others and the choices you've made come to a head and a person is left standing there with all those choices weighing in and a decision to make. These ultimate choices make their appearances rarely, rather than frequently. After all, if they appeared more often, many of us would be on our knees, screaming why?
Of course, this isn't to say that that this doesn't happen anyways. To some, these choices are made more often; to others, it is rare that these come up at all. And these ultimate decisions aren't simple, like where you want to go for dinner or anything like that. What if they were to change everything that was in this very moment known? What if they were to change the course set before you and make it that much more interesting or more difficult? Would you be able to make such a choice?
Life has its ways of throwing curveballs at us. To many, it is an unpleasant realization. Nobody likes being left in the dark, only to realize that they have a choice to make that instant. Especially...if everything is perfect as is and things make a rather abrupt and unlikeable turn for the worse. Or better? Sometimes it's both.
Sometimes, you can wish somebody else make this choice. You don't want to make it. If you do, something changes and bearing responsibility for such changes can be rather undesirable. Nobody wants to shoulder that burden, especially if it means that it is the worst choice in the long run. Yet what if the choice is never made? What would you have missed? What if somebody else made the choice for you? Would you want to be stuck with the decisions of others changing your own life dreams? Would you want that?
These rather random ramblings are what currently occupy my mind at the present moment. I'm being flooded from all sides with information and questions, mostly which remain unanswered. People want to know what I'm planning. People want to counsel me to avoid; people want to coerce me to go full speed. Somehow, I have ended up being the key player, the ace in the hole, the last man standing. The one person who everyone looks to in the end when all else has seemingly failed. Or, in this case, the only one they think can make such a choice.
I never wanted this. Why can't life be simple? Why does complication have to muddle the waters so? I just want to live my life the way I want to. But the opportunities presenting themselves have other things in mind. But why me? Why does it seem I always am the one making the major decisions? Why is it always left up to me?
Confusion addles my thoughts. I want so much. But I also am fearful. Of making...the wrong choice. But of course, neither seems wrong. But in a way, they are. In a way, they are wrong because it will hurt. Ha...it doesn't seem so at first. But it will. And I can see that, even in my confused state. There are far too many questions still left for me to answer. Far too many unknowns still left in the dark.
Dear God, why are you doing this to me now? I thought that everything was set and perfect as is. Apparently something needs to change. But in what direction? What is the right course of action? I don't know anymore. And to be quite frank, I fear to know. But I have such high hopes right now...despite the fear. Yet...it is rather difficult to overcome that fear. Oh may I have the strength to persevere despite the anxieties in my heart.
If this has confused you to no end, you're not the only one. This is a mere fraction of my thoughts. Try dealing with them in your own head. It's not fun.
God bless.
Of course, this isn't to say that that this doesn't happen anyways. To some, these choices are made more often; to others, it is rare that these come up at all. And these ultimate decisions aren't simple, like where you want to go for dinner or anything like that. What if they were to change everything that was in this very moment known? What if they were to change the course set before you and make it that much more interesting or more difficult? Would you be able to make such a choice?
Life has its ways of throwing curveballs at us. To many, it is an unpleasant realization. Nobody likes being left in the dark, only to realize that they have a choice to make that instant. Especially...if everything is perfect as is and things make a rather abrupt and unlikeable turn for the worse. Or better? Sometimes it's both.
Sometimes, you can wish somebody else make this choice. You don't want to make it. If you do, something changes and bearing responsibility for such changes can be rather undesirable. Nobody wants to shoulder that burden, especially if it means that it is the worst choice in the long run. Yet what if the choice is never made? What would you have missed? What if somebody else made the choice for you? Would you want to be stuck with the decisions of others changing your own life dreams? Would you want that?
These rather random ramblings are what currently occupy my mind at the present moment. I'm being flooded from all sides with information and questions, mostly which remain unanswered. People want to know what I'm planning. People want to counsel me to avoid; people want to coerce me to go full speed. Somehow, I have ended up being the key player, the ace in the hole, the last man standing. The one person who everyone looks to in the end when all else has seemingly failed. Or, in this case, the only one they think can make such a choice.
I never wanted this. Why can't life be simple? Why does complication have to muddle the waters so? I just want to live my life the way I want to. But the opportunities presenting themselves have other things in mind. But why me? Why does it seem I always am the one making the major decisions? Why is it always left up to me?
Confusion addles my thoughts. I want so much. But I also am fearful. Of making...the wrong choice. But of course, neither seems wrong. But in a way, they are. In a way, they are wrong because it will hurt. Ha...it doesn't seem so at first. But it will. And I can see that, even in my confused state. There are far too many questions still left for me to answer. Far too many unknowns still left in the dark.
Dear God, why are you doing this to me now? I thought that everything was set and perfect as is. Apparently something needs to change. But in what direction? What is the right course of action? I don't know anymore. And to be quite frank, I fear to know. But I have such high hopes right now...despite the fear. Yet...it is rather difficult to overcome that fear. Oh may I have the strength to persevere despite the anxieties in my heart.
If this has confused you to no end, you're not the only one. This is a mere fraction of my thoughts. Try dealing with them in your own head. It's not fun.
God bless.