(no subject)
So it has become more clear to me than ever that i need to be in Texas. My heart is there. My friends are there. My family is there. i'm pretty sure my life is wating for me there.
I can't explain properly, but there's this calling. i've heard it for a good portion of my life. Just little things. Like the cute Texas outfit i used to wear as a baby. or the visits there to see my family that were always awesome. Then there was that person that really drew me there..... but it was more of a catalyst to actually GET me there finally than anything. I thank that person. And school. Man I hated that town, but school let me finally be surrounded by Texas everything. and the way of life was awesome. and now that I'm back here, i hear about things in texas on the news or something, i see Texas liscence plates EVERYWHERE. no joke. i counted 12 the other day. It seems like most people i meet have some connection to or have lived in Texas. i was drinking some organic tea the other day, and i looked at the bottle... where was the company based??? TEXAS. my step-cousin's roomate that i gave a ride to from port everglades back to here apartment is from Texas and she was going there the next day. Everything i encounter now is related to texas it seems.
I am miserable here. and by here I mean my house. it's a pit of misery that my dad creates for everyone, and it's not healthey for me to be living in. I try so hard not to be here. i work so much. and i have school for the time being to keep me occupied, too. and My horse i can escape to. but at the end of the day, it's the only place i have to go really. there is nothing for me in the city. nothing.
Texas has everything i need to gain experience for what I want to do. be a farm animal vet. That is like the best place i can be for that shit. Miami? PSH.... we have like, 4 cows. why am i here? why did i come back?? i had no other option, really... unfortunately, but i need to leave here. i just need to. If i don't get into Ross when I apply next month, which I dunno, i might get in.... then i believe I will just leave. pack up some shit, get my dog and go. I'll have to get a job first, but fuck, i just need to do it. I neeeeeeeeeed to get out of this place.
I can't explain properly, but there's this calling. i've heard it for a good portion of my life. Just little things. Like the cute Texas outfit i used to wear as a baby. or the visits there to see my family that were always awesome. Then there was that person that really drew me there..... but it was more of a catalyst to actually GET me there finally than anything. I thank that person. And school. Man I hated that town, but school let me finally be surrounded by Texas everything. and the way of life was awesome. and now that I'm back here, i hear about things in texas on the news or something, i see Texas liscence plates EVERYWHERE. no joke. i counted 12 the other day. It seems like most people i meet have some connection to or have lived in Texas. i was drinking some organic tea the other day, and i looked at the bottle... where was the company based??? TEXAS. my step-cousin's roomate that i gave a ride to from port everglades back to here apartment is from Texas and she was going there the next day. Everything i encounter now is related to texas it seems.
I am miserable here. and by here I mean my house. it's a pit of misery that my dad creates for everyone, and it's not healthey for me to be living in. I try so hard not to be here. i work so much. and i have school for the time being to keep me occupied, too. and My horse i can escape to. but at the end of the day, it's the only place i have to go really. there is nothing for me in the city. nothing.
Texas has everything i need to gain experience for what I want to do. be a farm animal vet. That is like the best place i can be for that shit. Miami? PSH.... we have like, 4 cows. why am i here? why did i come back?? i had no other option, really... unfortunately, but i need to leave here. i just need to. If i don't get into Ross when I apply next month, which I dunno, i might get in.... then i believe I will just leave. pack up some shit, get my dog and go. I'll have to get a job first, but fuck, i just need to do it. I neeeeeeeeeed to get out of this place.