Circles...
Wow, it is the morn of November 18, the final show of Urinetown. It has been quite a ride, let me tell you. But one that I'm so glad I took. My cast and crew are a group of extremely dedicated and talented people who have all pulled their forces together to create this amazing show, and all in only 7 weeks. I'm still reeling from the fact that it actually happened, and I'm blown away every time I watch the show, because it is so good. Not beyond my expectations, but that's because I really didn't have expectations. This whole show has gone so fast that I didn't have any time to think about what I wanted to have happen. But I'm sure if I had that what it has become is far better than anything I would have envisioned.
I wish I had a better way of explaining how I feel about this show. It occurred to me on opening night that this was the first full-length anything I had ever directed, and I just happened to choose a sixteen-person musical. I think I'm insane. But, all the heart that has gone into this show, from me, from the cast, from the crew -- it shows. Watching the musical on opening night, and I feel like it was the first time I really got to watch it (without taking notes or observing errors), I got goosebumps after almost every scene. There was so much energy, so much love and trust flowing through the cast as they performed. And, as I sat there, I couldn't remember directing a single thing. It was like I just sat in rehearsals in a coma and watched as the show developed around me.
Last night, after the show, Jamie's aunt came up to me and introduced herself. She said she was a director and that she was absolutely amazed by the show. She said a bunch of stuff about how I had so much focus and continued going back to the point I was trying to make and that the show flowed so well and a ton more stuff that I don't even remember because the entire time I was standing there smiling and nodding and trying to remember if I had ever thought about any of those things. I just sat down and decided to direct a musical, whatever that means.
So, tonight is closing night. I'm not a crier (I never cry at the end of shows), but I've already cried once during warmups on opening night when I was trying to tell the cast how terrified I was. Not because I thought the show would be bad in any way, but because for the first time I felt completely powerless. I had given up any control I had over the show, and it was one of the scariest feelings I've ever had. I suddenly realized that I was no longer important, I no longer had any role to play. Now I just had to sit back and watch what I had created, but it wasn't me and I don't give myself hardly any credit, so it was like I was losing control over something I was only pretending to control in the first place. It's hard to explain, but I definitely was crying. We'll see what happens tonight.
I wish I had a better way of explaining how I feel about this show. It occurred to me on opening night that this was the first full-length anything I had ever directed, and I just happened to choose a sixteen-person musical. I think I'm insane. But, all the heart that has gone into this show, from me, from the cast, from the crew -- it shows. Watching the musical on opening night, and I feel like it was the first time I really got to watch it (without taking notes or observing errors), I got goosebumps after almost every scene. There was so much energy, so much love and trust flowing through the cast as they performed. And, as I sat there, I couldn't remember directing a single thing. It was like I just sat in rehearsals in a coma and watched as the show developed around me.
Last night, after the show, Jamie's aunt came up to me and introduced herself. She said she was a director and that she was absolutely amazed by the show. She said a bunch of stuff about how I had so much focus and continued going back to the point I was trying to make and that the show flowed so well and a ton more stuff that I don't even remember because the entire time I was standing there smiling and nodding and trying to remember if I had ever thought about any of those things. I just sat down and decided to direct a musical, whatever that means.
So, tonight is closing night. I'm not a crier (I never cry at the end of shows), but I've already cried once during warmups on opening night when I was trying to tell the cast how terrified I was. Not because I thought the show would be bad in any way, but because for the first time I felt completely powerless. I had given up any control I had over the show, and it was one of the scariest feelings I've ever had. I suddenly realized that I was no longer important, I no longer had any role to play. Now I just had to sit back and watch what I had created, but it wasn't me and I don't give myself hardly any credit, so it was like I was losing control over something I was only pretending to control in the first place. It's hard to explain, but I definitely was crying. We'll see what happens tonight.