(no subject)
Today is my last day of being 30! It will probably be midnight when I'm done typing but I'm not 31 until 12:20 pm tomorrow.
I've always loved my birthdays until very recently, when I couldn't stand them. I think I'm back to loving them. Unfortunately I have to run an errand up at Umass tomorrow so I have to, like, do things but I think it will be nice. I think I'll have a birthday donut at Glazed.
Crossfit is super awesome. I call it "the gym" because I feel like people are weird about it. I've been going for a month and a week and I haven't missed one workout, I got an email from one of the owners saying in 10 years of her working there she hasn't seen someone with such a perfect track record. My traps are already nicer and so is my back. Here I am working up to a 108# deadlift which is double what I could do a month ago. I'm very very happy to be part of something like this and I feel like I'm recovering the ownership of my own body and my well-being. (7 pounds lost but I might put it back on when school starts because of stress). It's funny that the word gorgeous was in the post becuase I was wondering if they'd comment on my appearance, I always wear makeup to the gym (I PUT IT ON ONCE A DAY IM NOT TAKING IT OFF FOR THE GYM) but they slid such a nice word in referring to the day hahaha
I was selected to do another panel with school and I said "uh another panel" and Rachel was like "heavy is the head that wears the crown!" and I laughed because that is totally it. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing amazing things and other times I feel like I just wish I was bad at my job so people would leave me alone. I'm exaggerating of course. I love doing what I'm doing...
I had a TON of growth during my 30th year and I got to visit some super deep premises and internal questions. I felt like nothing was written in stone and everything was on the table to be tossed away, including super old ties and places. I assume 31 will be like, the boss level of this because of the next steps in my life. I am not going to get too deep because it's almost bedtime. just feel like
30 was so awesome.
TOMORROW IS THE DAY TO ASSERT MYSELF ANEW WITH THE ENERGY FROM THE SUN RETURNING TO THE POSITION IT WAS IN WHEN I WAS BORN MOTHERFUCKERS