It has been suggested to me by a licensed health professional to seek al-anon and coda meetings. I am bitter that I have to go to meetings because my family does not want me to be healthy and succeed. That is all.
I am assuming the man thinks that I will actually take him up on the things he suggests for me, since I actually read almost all of a book that he suggested the week before during our session: but anyway, I told him the shit my mom said this week and how they always seem to get ahold of me right during times of high stress like finals or a breakup and how my mom held onto my abortion, even though I knew what I wanted deep in my heart and I was dating someone who was using heroin and I was on medicine that would mess up a fetus, and threw that in my face years later after I told her I wasn't going to be done with school etc. something unrelated that upset her and how memere basically has a breakdown whenever I try to say that I need to move for college and how my entire family is emotionally unwell and refuses help but needs my attention and blames me for being cold-hearted when I tell them to get help
and he asked if I had ever been to an AA meeting, and I said yes I had but I don't align with their core beliefs and mission because I am an atheist and it creates resentment in me and I don't see myself as an alcoholic/I barely saw myself as one even during those mandatory meetings We clarified and agreed that my addiction to substances and abuse of them phase of my life was evidently over (I barely drink twice a month and weed scares the shit out of me, I still have the stuff) and he suggested that I go to al-anon meetings anyway, and then suggested that I go to coda meetings. He didn't really explain much now that I think about it, other than saying my family is clearly co-dependent and it will take a lot of work but I seem like I am tough and I Definitely obviously need it. His back was to me while he looked up meeting times for me
Like, I agree that it's super bad for me and I feel powerless... and I would like to be around other people that have the same issues I guess? But I also can't stand other people's shit sometimes. Sometimes I am the definition of empathic and other times I fucking hate strangers. he suggested this stuff after I told him that I told Matt what happened and what my mom was like and what that felt like and how many times I've gone through this and Matt's reply was "maybe you should see her side, I mean come at it with some compassion" to which I said I did not want to have the conversation/I Would not be discussing my mother with Matt anymore because he'll see the pattern in a few years. I think I'm supposed to have an outlet for what I feel about these people.
His first, first suggestion, before that ... was changing my name on my social media and my phone number. He laughed, but it was a nervous gay man's laugh. Like, to me his laugh said "you're not nuts Becky needs help and you need distance"
and how they always seem to get ahold of me right during times of high stress like finals or a breakup
and how my mom held onto my abortion, even though I knew what I wanted deep in my heart and I was dating someone who was using heroin and I was on medicine that would mess up a fetus, and threw that in my face years later after I told her I wasn't going to be done with school etc. something unrelated that upset her
and how memere basically has a breakdown whenever I try to say that I need to move for college
and how my entire family is emotionally unwell and refuses help but needs my attention and blames me for being cold-hearted when I tell them to get help
and he asked if I had ever been to an AA meeting, and I said yes I had but I don't align with their core beliefs and mission because I am an atheist and it creates resentment in me and I don't see myself as an alcoholic/I barely saw myself as one even during those mandatory meetings
We clarified and agreed that my addiction to substances and abuse of them phase of my life was evidently over (I barely drink twice a month and weed scares the shit out of me, I still have the stuff)
and he suggested that I go to al-anon meetings anyway, and then suggested that I go to coda meetings. He didn't really explain much now that I think about it, other than saying my family is clearly co-dependent and it will take a lot of work but I seem like I am tough and I Definitely obviously need it. His back was to me while he looked up meeting times for me
Like, I agree that it's super bad for me and I feel powerless... and I would like to be around other people that have the same issues I guess? But I also can't stand other people's shit sometimes. Sometimes I am the definition of empathic and other times I fucking hate strangers.
he suggested this stuff after I told him that I told Matt what happened and what my mom was like and what that felt like and how many times I've gone through this and Matt's reply was "maybe you should see her side, I mean come at it with some compassion" to which I said I did not want to have the conversation/I Would not be discussing my mother with Matt anymore because he'll see the pattern in a few years. I think I'm supposed to have an outlet for what I feel about these people.
His first, first suggestion, before that ... was changing my name on my social media and my phone number. He laughed, but it was a nervous gay man's laugh. Like, to me his laugh said "you're not nuts Becky needs help and you need distance"
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