Fragile
Title: Fragile 2/?
Author: vaguelynormal
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yunho, Changmin/Yunho
Rating: NC-17
Warning: paedophilia, child abuse, slight het, violence in first chapter
Summary: Yunho is an unusual child whom Jaejoong meets on the job and finds himself unable to forget.
In the morning Jaejoong follows his normal routine. He showers and shaves, dresses in the uniform his wife ironed the day before and cooks a simple breakfast. It’s still dark outside, winter bleaching all warmth and light from the sun’s early rays and it looks bleak beyond their curtains. HyoRin gives Yunho one of his old t-shirts and a pair of boxer shorts. She kneels with safety pins held between her lips when Yunho emerges clean and changed but the boy flinches from her reaching hands. Jaejoong sympathises, brushing her shoulder gently before he kneels too, coaxing the shy boy over. It takes time and his wife sighs and stands, brushing off her knees to go wash the boys clothes and Jaejoong can hear the faint rumble of the dryer that they rarely use to save power.
Eventually, Yunho steps within reaching distance, eyes wary. Jaejoong asks Yunho to hold the hem of the large shirt up and the boy shakes violently but obeys, exposing his frail figure, ribs protruding in a way that makes Jaejoong feel ill.
‘You need to eat more, hmm?’ Jaejoong comments softly, trying not to tremble as he reaches for the slipping band of the boxers.
The boy’s breath hitches and he looks away as Jaejoong makes folds in the waistband and pins them, careful not to scratch skin. Yunho is so unbelievably small, Jaejoong’s hands easily encasing the child’s hips and he wonders if all children look this small and fragile. ‘They’re not too uncomfortable are they?’ Jaejoong asks, studying the makeshift clothes. ‘Yours will dry soon and we can pick up some of your things later, hopefully,’ he smiles but Yunho is lost to that hollow expression he had identifying the bodies. Jaejoong forcibly lowers the boy’s hands down, t-shirt dropping to his knees. There’s a line between professional and human that Jaejoong’s hesitant to cross. Fear and loneliness permeates from the child and Jaejoong wants nothing more than to hug the boy but these days, even teachers are forbidden from doing as much lest it be misconstrued. He settles for ruffling Yunho’s hair.
HyoRin returns and offers Yunho a smile and a plush toy Jaejoong must have given her for Valentine’s five years ago. Yunho murmurs a quiet thank you and holds the bear delicately, staring into the beaded eyes. A sense of sadness fills Jaejoong and he reaches for his wife for comfort, drawing her into his arms and swaying them gently. They’d always wanted a child and had tried for two years after their wedding but had never succeeded. Over time, it had mattered less, faded into a dull ache and Jaejoong found that his job helped fill the void. They would have had a girl, Jaejoong thinks, someone to chatter at the table throughout breakfast and with hair long and straight like HyoRin’s. Yunho is a type of child they’ve never considered, quiet and withdrawn and now he’s entirely alone in the world. Jaejoong knows what kind of statistics this child has in his future- he’s likely to meet Yunho again as a young adult in the station. He breathes deeply, inhaling his wife’s scent before he pulls away with a kiss to her cheek. HyoRin smiles and excuses herself to check on the laundry.
‘Yunho,’ Jaejoong begins, already trailing up as dark eyes meet his. There’s a scar running down the boy’s cheek he never noticed before and he wonders how the child got it. ‘Today we’ll need to go to the station where I work, okay? Some men will ask you questions about what happened last night.’
Yunho nods.
The drive to the station is not a long one but it feels excruciating as he tries to ask Yunho questions. Yunho doesn’t know his birth date or mother but he last remembers turning eight and the only school he’s attended wasn’t in this state. The boy doesn’t have any friends or toys he wants from his home and when Jaejoong scans the apartment later that week, he doesn’t find any either. The clothes they collect are all too small, the pants too short and the station tries their best to ignore how uncomfortable the boy looks in them. Poverty is still something that hurts to look at, and the cops are all more comfortable with their homeless informants than a broken child. Yunho answers what questions he can, legs hanging over the edge of the plastic chair stiffly, his tone always polite and submissive. There’s an awkward government funeral provided and someone on the force lends Yunho one of their children’s Sunday best to wear. Jaejoong, Yoochun and Yunho are the only attendants, the funeral home cheap and tacky and he watches as Yunho pockets the plastic rosary beads he’s given for the service. Yunho doesn’t cry.
There’s a lot of fuss finding a home for Yunho. Child services take him into custody but Jaejoong knows what those homes are like and worries that someone as quiet and lost as Yunho will drown in that environment. He follows leads into distant relatives but Yunho doesn’t have an official birth certificate and his father’s side all link back to low-grade criminals serving time in correctional facilities. There are no family friends- Yunho told them he only just met Junsu and brought him to the apartment because he was asked to bring a friend home. There’s no inheritance to be claimed and the government sells off the possessions to cover debts. Yunho is left with nothing but the too-small clothes and the stuffed bear HyoRin gave him.
Jaejoong feels frustrated by the justice system and the tangled red tape preventing anything from changing for the better. The case closes without much difficulty- Yunho’s father and the other man were both identified as petty drug and bootleg pedlars, an assumed dispute over their business profits leading to a homicide. Six months into child custody, Yunho is welcomed into a foster family and Jaejoong begins to relax though the case still haunts him. He drinks with some of his colleagues a little more than he should until HyoRin threatens to leave him.
Over the years, Jaejoong checks up on the boy. Yunho is moved into three different foster homes, all of which fail to provide reasons other than citing, ‘behavioural issues.’ The reports tell a different story to Jaejoong- Yunho is not violent or troublesome, the families simply find his withdrawn persona irksome. Jaejoong worries Yunho is being failed by the system- the psychiatric help and tutelage after years of not going to school are not provided or listed on any record as he’s shipped from home to home. As the months trickle steadily, Jaejoong knows Yunho’s increasing age makes him less desirable for adoption. HyoRin sympathises with Jaejoong when he expresses his concerns, running soothing hands down his back until the tension and guilt eases. They talk for months on end, Yunho’s welfare never far from his mind.
Close to Yunho’s eleventh birthday, his wife throws up her hands and sighs, ‘Let’s do it, let’s adopt Yunho.’
Jaejoong freezes, he’s never voiced it but the thought has never been far from his mind. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m getting old, if we’d had a child when we wanted to, he’d only be a year younger. Maybe it’s better this way- we get one that’s already toilet trained,’ HyoRin jokes.
Jaejoong studies his wife. The curve of her waist unlike other women her age has not expanded. Her eyes are tired but a youthfulness still clings to her supple skin- Jaejoong thinks the years of solid nights sleeping instead of changing babies has done wonders for them both, though she was always a couple of years older. Biologically, their chances of conceiving now are low, although they’d always put off investigating that problem further so Jaejoong had begun to think it didn’t matter. He wonders if that was more for his pride’s sake or for hers. ‘Are you sure? I still don’t make the big wage we always wanted,’ Jaejoong reasons, needing not to rush this delicate decision. A part of him fears she’ll change her mind.
‘We make enough with both our jobs, we have nothing else to spend it on. I don’t know where we’re going, Jae. Where is our relationship heading?’
‘A child can’t fix that- we can’t adopt Yunho just because you’re bored,’ Jaejoong finds himself growing irritable.
‘No, we’ll do it because it’s the right thing to do. Because he needs a home and we have one. Because you won’t move on until he’s safe,’ HyoRin sighs. ‘I think you’re a sweetheart, I really do, but if I sound a little bitter it’s because I’m terrified I won’t be a good mother. I’m old, I only know how to love one person.’
Jaejoong smiles, pulling her into his arms and peppering kisses over her mouth and cheeks. ‘You’re not old. You’ll be fine- we’ll both be fine,’ he reassures her, holding her close.
Jaejoong organises everything. The meetings with child services, the references from his supervisor and best friend, prepares their bank statements and the house inspection. It takes a month and then another before they can meet Yunho. Vaguely he feels disappointment they won’t celebrate Yunho’s birthday with him but his own adoptive parents have warned him it’s a long, painful process.
They meet Yunho on a mild spring day outside his latest foster home. Yunho is outside in the yard, although it’s a little cool; HyoRin shivering in her petal-pink dress and looking so beautiful with her hair down, Jaejoong swears he’ll never forget it. There are plastic trucks embedded in the muddy lawn and a creaky swing- the other three children busy inside but Yunho sits quietly on the step with a book. Jaejoong approaches the boy carefully, his wife picking her way through the yard as her heels sink into the marshy ground.
‘Hi Yunho,’ Jaejoong calls, raising his hand to wave when he’s a metre away. ‘Do you remember me?’
The boy stands, eyes flickering from Jaejoong’s face to his hands, eyeing the thick, platinum wedding band and the thin scar from when his skin got caught in the gun mechanism when he first learnt how to shoot. ‘You’re the good guys,’ Yunho answers, ‘you said you’d come if I asked for help.’
Jaejoong laughs, surprised by Yunho’s memory for that night, but he supposes he hasn’t forgotten anything from that night either. ‘That’s right,’ he turns and gives HyoRin a hand across the yard, mud decorating her pink shoes. ‘And do you remember my wife, HyoRin?’
Yunho blinks, but doesn’t look beyond her hand clasped with Jaejoong’s. The kid still identifies people by their hands, Jaejoong thinks, raising an eyebrow. Yunho nods. Hyorin squeezes his hand and Jaejoong wonders if she thinks it’s unusual too that Yunho doesn’t ask any questions about their presence; he simply waits for them to speak. Yunho is not an inquisitive child.
‘We wanted to talk to you,’ Jaejoong says gently, squatting to the child’s level. ‘You don’t have to answer right away, but we wanted to know if you’d like to join our family and come live with us. Not like you’re doing now, but permanently- we want to take care of you,’ Jaejoong smiles, his hands shake with nerves, frightened of rejection. HyoRin’s hand is warm on his shoulder.
‘Okay,’ Yunho says simply.
Jaejoong lets out a relieved laugh and stands, hugging his wife.
‘Are you sure?’ HyoRin asks, ‘Do you understand what Jaejoong meant?’
Yunho nods, meeting her eyes and Jaejoong grins, pulling Yunho into a hug. He feels hands hesitantly curl into his shirt, Yunho clearly unused to being embraced and then HyoRin wraps arms around him from behind. Jaejoong can’t help but smile, ‘We’re going to be a family.’
A/N: Someone kindly reminded me I was due to update.
As usual, if you wish to remind me about the other updates that are lacking, I can often be found wasting my time and not writing here on my tumblr
Author: vaguelynormal
Pairing: Jaejoong/Yunho, Changmin/Yunho
Rating: NC-17
Warning: paedophilia, child abuse, slight het, violence in first chapter
Summary: Yunho is an unusual child whom Jaejoong meets on the job and finds himself unable to forget.
In the morning Jaejoong follows his normal routine. He showers and shaves, dresses in the uniform his wife ironed the day before and cooks a simple breakfast. It’s still dark outside, winter bleaching all warmth and light from the sun’s early rays and it looks bleak beyond their curtains. HyoRin gives Yunho one of his old t-shirts and a pair of boxer shorts. She kneels with safety pins held between her lips when Yunho emerges clean and changed but the boy flinches from her reaching hands. Jaejoong sympathises, brushing her shoulder gently before he kneels too, coaxing the shy boy over. It takes time and his wife sighs and stands, brushing off her knees to go wash the boys clothes and Jaejoong can hear the faint rumble of the dryer that they rarely use to save power.
Eventually, Yunho steps within reaching distance, eyes wary. Jaejoong asks Yunho to hold the hem of the large shirt up and the boy shakes violently but obeys, exposing his frail figure, ribs protruding in a way that makes Jaejoong feel ill.
‘You need to eat more, hmm?’ Jaejoong comments softly, trying not to tremble as he reaches for the slipping band of the boxers.
The boy’s breath hitches and he looks away as Jaejoong makes folds in the waistband and pins them, careful not to scratch skin. Yunho is so unbelievably small, Jaejoong’s hands easily encasing the child’s hips and he wonders if all children look this small and fragile. ‘They’re not too uncomfortable are they?’ Jaejoong asks, studying the makeshift clothes. ‘Yours will dry soon and we can pick up some of your things later, hopefully,’ he smiles but Yunho is lost to that hollow expression he had identifying the bodies. Jaejoong forcibly lowers the boy’s hands down, t-shirt dropping to his knees. There’s a line between professional and human that Jaejoong’s hesitant to cross. Fear and loneliness permeates from the child and Jaejoong wants nothing more than to hug the boy but these days, even teachers are forbidden from doing as much lest it be misconstrued. He settles for ruffling Yunho’s hair.
HyoRin returns and offers Yunho a smile and a plush toy Jaejoong must have given her for Valentine’s five years ago. Yunho murmurs a quiet thank you and holds the bear delicately, staring into the beaded eyes. A sense of sadness fills Jaejoong and he reaches for his wife for comfort, drawing her into his arms and swaying them gently. They’d always wanted a child and had tried for two years after their wedding but had never succeeded. Over time, it had mattered less, faded into a dull ache and Jaejoong found that his job helped fill the void. They would have had a girl, Jaejoong thinks, someone to chatter at the table throughout breakfast and with hair long and straight like HyoRin’s. Yunho is a type of child they’ve never considered, quiet and withdrawn and now he’s entirely alone in the world. Jaejoong knows what kind of statistics this child has in his future- he’s likely to meet Yunho again as a young adult in the station. He breathes deeply, inhaling his wife’s scent before he pulls away with a kiss to her cheek. HyoRin smiles and excuses herself to check on the laundry.
‘Yunho,’ Jaejoong begins, already trailing up as dark eyes meet his. There’s a scar running down the boy’s cheek he never noticed before and he wonders how the child got it. ‘Today we’ll need to go to the station where I work, okay? Some men will ask you questions about what happened last night.’
Yunho nods.
The drive to the station is not a long one but it feels excruciating as he tries to ask Yunho questions. Yunho doesn’t know his birth date or mother but he last remembers turning eight and the only school he’s attended wasn’t in this state. The boy doesn’t have any friends or toys he wants from his home and when Jaejoong scans the apartment later that week, he doesn’t find any either. The clothes they collect are all too small, the pants too short and the station tries their best to ignore how uncomfortable the boy looks in them. Poverty is still something that hurts to look at, and the cops are all more comfortable with their homeless informants than a broken child. Yunho answers what questions he can, legs hanging over the edge of the plastic chair stiffly, his tone always polite and submissive. There’s an awkward government funeral provided and someone on the force lends Yunho one of their children’s Sunday best to wear. Jaejoong, Yoochun and Yunho are the only attendants, the funeral home cheap and tacky and he watches as Yunho pockets the plastic rosary beads he’s given for the service. Yunho doesn’t cry.
There’s a lot of fuss finding a home for Yunho. Child services take him into custody but Jaejoong knows what those homes are like and worries that someone as quiet and lost as Yunho will drown in that environment. He follows leads into distant relatives but Yunho doesn’t have an official birth certificate and his father’s side all link back to low-grade criminals serving time in correctional facilities. There are no family friends- Yunho told them he only just met Junsu and brought him to the apartment because he was asked to bring a friend home. There’s no inheritance to be claimed and the government sells off the possessions to cover debts. Yunho is left with nothing but the too-small clothes and the stuffed bear HyoRin gave him.
Jaejoong feels frustrated by the justice system and the tangled red tape preventing anything from changing for the better. The case closes without much difficulty- Yunho’s father and the other man were both identified as petty drug and bootleg pedlars, an assumed dispute over their business profits leading to a homicide. Six months into child custody, Yunho is welcomed into a foster family and Jaejoong begins to relax though the case still haunts him. He drinks with some of his colleagues a little more than he should until HyoRin threatens to leave him.
Over the years, Jaejoong checks up on the boy. Yunho is moved into three different foster homes, all of which fail to provide reasons other than citing, ‘behavioural issues.’ The reports tell a different story to Jaejoong- Yunho is not violent or troublesome, the families simply find his withdrawn persona irksome. Jaejoong worries Yunho is being failed by the system- the psychiatric help and tutelage after years of not going to school are not provided or listed on any record as he’s shipped from home to home. As the months trickle steadily, Jaejoong knows Yunho’s increasing age makes him less desirable for adoption. HyoRin sympathises with Jaejoong when he expresses his concerns, running soothing hands down his back until the tension and guilt eases. They talk for months on end, Yunho’s welfare never far from his mind.
Close to Yunho’s eleventh birthday, his wife throws up her hands and sighs, ‘Let’s do it, let’s adopt Yunho.’
Jaejoong freezes, he’s never voiced it but the thought has never been far from his mind. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m getting old, if we’d had a child when we wanted to, he’d only be a year younger. Maybe it’s better this way- we get one that’s already toilet trained,’ HyoRin jokes.
Jaejoong studies his wife. The curve of her waist unlike other women her age has not expanded. Her eyes are tired but a youthfulness still clings to her supple skin- Jaejoong thinks the years of solid nights sleeping instead of changing babies has done wonders for them both, though she was always a couple of years older. Biologically, their chances of conceiving now are low, although they’d always put off investigating that problem further so Jaejoong had begun to think it didn’t matter. He wonders if that was more for his pride’s sake or for hers. ‘Are you sure? I still don’t make the big wage we always wanted,’ Jaejoong reasons, needing not to rush this delicate decision. A part of him fears she’ll change her mind.
‘We make enough with both our jobs, we have nothing else to spend it on. I don’t know where we’re going, Jae. Where is our relationship heading?’
‘A child can’t fix that- we can’t adopt Yunho just because you’re bored,’ Jaejoong finds himself growing irritable.
‘No, we’ll do it because it’s the right thing to do. Because he needs a home and we have one. Because you won’t move on until he’s safe,’ HyoRin sighs. ‘I think you’re a sweetheart, I really do, but if I sound a little bitter it’s because I’m terrified I won’t be a good mother. I’m old, I only know how to love one person.’
Jaejoong smiles, pulling her into his arms and peppering kisses over her mouth and cheeks. ‘You’re not old. You’ll be fine- we’ll both be fine,’ he reassures her, holding her close.
Jaejoong organises everything. The meetings with child services, the references from his supervisor and best friend, prepares their bank statements and the house inspection. It takes a month and then another before they can meet Yunho. Vaguely he feels disappointment they won’t celebrate Yunho’s birthday with him but his own adoptive parents have warned him it’s a long, painful process.
They meet Yunho on a mild spring day outside his latest foster home. Yunho is outside in the yard, although it’s a little cool; HyoRin shivering in her petal-pink dress and looking so beautiful with her hair down, Jaejoong swears he’ll never forget it. There are plastic trucks embedded in the muddy lawn and a creaky swing- the other three children busy inside but Yunho sits quietly on the step with a book. Jaejoong approaches the boy carefully, his wife picking her way through the yard as her heels sink into the marshy ground.
‘Hi Yunho,’ Jaejoong calls, raising his hand to wave when he’s a metre away. ‘Do you remember me?’
The boy stands, eyes flickering from Jaejoong’s face to his hands, eyeing the thick, platinum wedding band and the thin scar from when his skin got caught in the gun mechanism when he first learnt how to shoot. ‘You’re the good guys,’ Yunho answers, ‘you said you’d come if I asked for help.’
Jaejoong laughs, surprised by Yunho’s memory for that night, but he supposes he hasn’t forgotten anything from that night either. ‘That’s right,’ he turns and gives HyoRin a hand across the yard, mud decorating her pink shoes. ‘And do you remember my wife, HyoRin?’
Yunho blinks, but doesn’t look beyond her hand clasped with Jaejoong’s. The kid still identifies people by their hands, Jaejoong thinks, raising an eyebrow. Yunho nods. Hyorin squeezes his hand and Jaejoong wonders if she thinks it’s unusual too that Yunho doesn’t ask any questions about their presence; he simply waits for them to speak. Yunho is not an inquisitive child.
‘We wanted to talk to you,’ Jaejoong says gently, squatting to the child’s level. ‘You don’t have to answer right away, but we wanted to know if you’d like to join our family and come live with us. Not like you’re doing now, but permanently- we want to take care of you,’ Jaejoong smiles, his hands shake with nerves, frightened of rejection. HyoRin’s hand is warm on his shoulder.
‘Okay,’ Yunho says simply.
Jaejoong lets out a relieved laugh and stands, hugging his wife.
‘Are you sure?’ HyoRin asks, ‘Do you understand what Jaejoong meant?’
Yunho nods, meeting her eyes and Jaejoong grins, pulling Yunho into a hug. He feels hands hesitantly curl into his shirt, Yunho clearly unused to being embraced and then HyoRin wraps arms around him from behind. Jaejoong can’t help but smile, ‘We’re going to be a family.’
A/N: Someone kindly reminded me I was due to update.
As usual, if you wish to remind me about the other updates that are lacking, I can often be found wasting my time and not writing here on my tumblr