oh GDORD
For almost three weeks now things have been pretty excellent for me regarding sleep. My old schedule of going to bed around 11-12 in the morning and waking up at 6-7 pm was fucking awful, and I really wanted to get out of it. Then I started adjusting it, and got violently ill, then went to the doctor and got those meds that fucked me up so badly and then I finally managed to buck all the shit and adjust my schedule completely. Completely fucking done, it was great.
The secret: going to bed for six hours, and then staying up three hours later than I did the previous night/day. That worked really, really well, and I gotta remember that for the future. So then I had myself going to bed at 5 AM or so, and getting up around 12-1. That was still a little early, so I pushed it back to 6 AM, and finally (in the last week or so) to 7 AM. And by that, I mean when I actually fell asleep, not when I got into bed and read or whatever. So that was great, and was exactly the schedule I wanted as insane as it may seem, so I was psyched. It was stable, too, and I never found myself needing any kind of sleeping meds (not that I'm allowed to take any, really) or anything else. Just read for an hour or so, I'm tired now, boom sleep.
Until today of course. Today my body just decided hey, you're a fucking dick and I hate you, so I'm not going to sleep at 6. Or 7. Or 8 or 9. I hate your goddamn guts and I'm just going to stay up and fuck up your entire sleeping schedule so you have to spend a week resetting it and missing out on a ton of shit because you're asleep during the wrong times for no fucking reason. So that's what happened! I just laid in bed for hours, awake, trying to go to sleep but not getting any, until I said fuck you body and fuck you brain I'm not going to lay here bored out of my mind on the off chance that you stop being a cunt and decide to let me sleep.
So that's that! Schedule all fucked up again, I have no idea when I'll be awake and asleep anymore. I don't even fucking know if I'll bother righting it this time. I was kidding myself by thinking I could maintain a normal, regulated schedule without any kind of drugs, and I'm not sure it's worth the massive upset and pain in the ass to reset. The same thing will just happen again. It might be another 3 weeks, sure, which would make it worthwhile; it might be another few days until it happens again. So there you go
The secret: going to bed for six hours, and then staying up three hours later than I did the previous night/day. That worked really, really well, and I gotta remember that for the future. So then I had myself going to bed at 5 AM or so, and getting up around 12-1. That was still a little early, so I pushed it back to 6 AM, and finally (in the last week or so) to 7 AM. And by that, I mean when I actually fell asleep, not when I got into bed and read or whatever. So that was great, and was exactly the schedule I wanted as insane as it may seem, so I was psyched. It was stable, too, and I never found myself needing any kind of sleeping meds (not that I'm allowed to take any, really) or anything else. Just read for an hour or so, I'm tired now, boom sleep.
Until today of course. Today my body just decided hey, you're a fucking dick and I hate you, so I'm not going to sleep at 6. Or 7. Or 8 or 9. I hate your goddamn guts and I'm just going to stay up and fuck up your entire sleeping schedule so you have to spend a week resetting it and missing out on a ton of shit because you're asleep during the wrong times for no fucking reason. So that's what happened! I just laid in bed for hours, awake, trying to go to sleep but not getting any, until I said fuck you body and fuck you brain I'm not going to lay here bored out of my mind on the off chance that you stop being a cunt and decide to let me sleep.
So that's that! Schedule all fucked up again, I have no idea when I'll be awake and asleep anymore. I don't even fucking know if I'll bother righting it this time. I was kidding myself by thinking I could maintain a normal, regulated schedule without any kind of drugs, and I'm not sure it's worth the massive upset and pain in the ass to reset. The same thing will just happen again. It might be another 3 weeks, sure, which would make it worthwhile; it might be another few days until it happens again. So there you go