Blast from the (Academic) Past
So, I was cleaning out my room, and I came across some old school assignments...mostly grade school and high school. When I found this one, I nearly fell over...COMPLETELY forgot I wrote this.
If my memory serves me right, we were reading Hamlet, and the assignment was to write your own "To Be or Not to Be" speech for another fictional character, using Hamlet's soliloquy as a blueprint.
I'm a HUGE fan of the Austin Powers triolgy, so, naturally, I chose Dr. Evil :D
December 9, 2004
To be Evil or not to be Evil: by Dr. Evil
To be evil or not to be evil - that is the question:
Whether 'tis more "hip" for Scott and I to edure
Through another frickin' group therapy session, quite inconsequential,
Or to have Scott see Daddy take over the world
And, in celebration, kill Austin Powers, since Patty O'Brien
And Random Task were not able to. To kill, to be evil-
No more - and by evil to say we destroy
Every frickin' town and every frickin' city on the planet
Thank you very much - 'tis an evil plan
That must be carried out. To be evil, to destroy-
To destroy, perchance an underground missile. Shoot, there's the catch.
For in that evil plan what other evils may emerge,
If I don't kill Mr. Powers, I do not tolerate failure.
Must now pet my kitty... There's the chance
That Mr. Powers will foil my plans...again
For that idiot would, to stop me, travil the scorns of time;
The evil doctor's downfall, the aging hipster's strength
The bitter spasm of being foiled, revenge's delay,
The insolence of my henchmen, and, of course, the trials
That favor patience that the unworthy Powers possesses,
When he himself might make a blundering fool
Out of me? Of course, who would object
To giving him an overly elaborate and exotic death,
But there is the dread of him escaping death,
The unknown trait that he is also evil;
Free love, swinging parties: it puzzles the mind
And makes me rather sick; those ills we both possess
We should flock to each other; he knows not of?
That coincidence will not make me any less evil,
And so, by my brilliant steps of thought, my plan
Is drenched o'er with such great genius and chance.
With this premeditation, the future looks dim for Mr. Powers
And he shall neither win the battle nor the war.
And so, gentlemen, let's get down to business...
If my memory serves me right, we were reading Hamlet, and the assignment was to write your own "To Be or Not to Be" speech for another fictional character, using Hamlet's soliloquy as a blueprint.
I'm a HUGE fan of the Austin Powers triolgy, so, naturally, I chose Dr. Evil :D
December 9, 2004
To be Evil or not to be Evil: by Dr. Evil
To be evil or not to be evil - that is the question:
Whether 'tis more "hip" for Scott and I to edure
Through another frickin' group therapy session, quite inconsequential,
Or to have Scott see Daddy take over the world
And, in celebration, kill Austin Powers, since Patty O'Brien
And Random Task were not able to. To kill, to be evil-
No more - and by evil to say we destroy
Every frickin' town and every frickin' city on the planet
Thank you very much - 'tis an evil plan
That must be carried out. To be evil, to destroy-
To destroy, perchance an underground missile. Shoot, there's the catch.
For in that evil plan what other evils may emerge,
If I don't kill Mr. Powers, I do not tolerate failure.
Must now pet my kitty... There's the chance
That Mr. Powers will foil my plans...again
For that idiot would, to stop me, travil the scorns of time;
The evil doctor's downfall, the aging hipster's strength
The bitter spasm of being foiled, revenge's delay,
The insolence of my henchmen, and, of course, the trials
That favor patience that the unworthy Powers possesses,
When he himself might make a blundering fool
Out of me? Of course, who would object
To giving him an overly elaborate and exotic death,
But there is the dread of him escaping death,
The unknown trait that he is also evil;
Free love, swinging parties: it puzzles the mind
And makes me rather sick; those ills we both possess
We should flock to each other; he knows not of?
That coincidence will not make me any less evil,
And so, by my brilliant steps of thought, my plan
Is drenched o'er with such great genius and chance.
With this premeditation, the future looks dim for Mr. Powers
And he shall neither win the battle nor the war.
And so, gentlemen, let's get down to business...