もう君に会いたい
This was rushed.
I just grasped the cruel reality of relationships: they won't always last forever.
I want it to last forever but i know it won't.
Relish it while it's still happening, i keep telling myself or rather's his advice of 'living in the moment'. And savour every small thing. My little saying of relief. Both wise to my sanity.
I know some of you girls have been in 2-3 year relationship. "How did you guys last so long?" I always ask. They simply shrug at me and reply "I don't know".
After that many years, you know they're going to be eternally bound. But when the cracks start to show and when they finally severe their bond, the news comes in a form of a 'shock' to you. To me. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but I feel that I'm glad that it's still there for me. Then yet, there's this other feeling that I will be robbed of something later on. Or I already have been robbed. Paranoia. It's just paranoia.
I heard on the radio today: that a woman had been married for 5 years. However 2 years ago, her husband turned cold and she began to suspect something. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation but she the woman led a private investigation and had someone trail her husband. Unfortunately, the investigator had video taped her husband holding hands with another woman. That woman, the lady claimed, was even at their wedding.
And she was right, holding hands with a friend is too intimate, don't you think?
I don't know exactly where I'm coming from. I just found out a friend had started dating another dude. And i thought, wait a moment what happened to the other guy? ...i found out later on. I'm just shocked. They're still good friends. That's good to hear. But not as in 'goodfriends = fuck buddies still". She's over it. He's over it. It seems ... happy.
..
I just want this waiting to end. I just want to lay dormant for a month. I really miss Ian. I know it's only been a few days since he went to Philippines. but sigh. I really miss you. You wouldn't understand just how much I do. Chips, I wonder how you manage. I guess it's selfish for me to say I miss Ian who is only gone for a month.
..sometimes I wish I didn't become so clingy in the past few weeks.
On the other hand, I want my results. I want to look at it and get over it. After thinking about it a lot, I've realized screw Science at Melbourne. I think I'll do Education but at Melbourne still. Primary Education. I relate better with children. I wouldn't mind becoming a teacher. And then later on, major in Psychology. But what about music? ARghss, I guess I can still pursue my interests in music by attending concerts, plays and etc. I guess I'll just have to pass my gift to my kids hahaha.
hmm うれしくなると思う。
I just grasped the cruel reality of relationships: they won't always last forever.
I want it to last forever but i know it won't.
Relish it while it's still happening, i keep telling myself or rather's his advice of 'living in the moment'. And savour every small thing. My little saying of relief. Both wise to my sanity.
I know some of you girls have been in 2-3 year relationship. "How did you guys last so long?" I always ask. They simply shrug at me and reply "I don't know".
After that many years, you know they're going to be eternally bound. But when the cracks start to show and when they finally severe their bond, the news comes in a form of a 'shock' to you. To me. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but I feel that I'm glad that it's still there for me. Then yet, there's this other feeling that I will be robbed of something later on. Or I already have been robbed. Paranoia. It's just paranoia.
I heard on the radio today: that a woman had been married for 5 years. However 2 years ago, her husband turned cold and she began to suspect something. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation but she the woman led a private investigation and had someone trail her husband. Unfortunately, the investigator had video taped her husband holding hands with another woman. That woman, the lady claimed, was even at their wedding.
And she was right, holding hands with a friend is too intimate, don't you think?
I don't know exactly where I'm coming from. I just found out a friend had started dating another dude. And i thought, wait a moment what happened to the other guy? ...i found out later on. I'm just shocked. They're still good friends. That's good to hear. But not as in 'goodfriends = fuck buddies still". She's over it. He's over it. It seems ... happy.
..
I just want this waiting to end. I just want to lay dormant for a month. I really miss Ian. I know it's only been a few days since he went to Philippines. but sigh. I really miss you. You wouldn't understand just how much I do. Chips, I wonder how you manage. I guess it's selfish for me to say I miss Ian who is only gone for a month.
..sometimes I wish I didn't become so clingy in the past few weeks.
On the other hand, I want my results. I want to look at it and get over it. After thinking about it a lot, I've realized screw Science at Melbourne. I think I'll do Education but at Melbourne still. Primary Education. I relate better with children. I wouldn't mind becoming a teacher. And then later on, major in Psychology. But what about music? ARghss, I guess I can still pursue my interests in music by attending concerts, plays and etc. I guess I'll just have to pass my gift to my kids hahaha.
hmm うれしくなると思う。