Drabble Series: It Seemed Wrong, Jan '09 Rewind (#73 Bullet) (#174 Blood) (#13 Luck) (#21 Survival)

[eppesgirl]

Title: It Seemed Wrong
Prompts: Jan '09 Rewind (#73 Bullet) (#174 Blood) (#13 Luck) (#21 Survival)
Author: starlettmalfoy
Characters: Charlie, Don
Rating: R
Word Count: 4x100
Warnings: Violence, angst
Disclaimer: I don't own the show Numb3rs or the characters and am not profiting off of this.
Summary: Charlie kills for the first time.
Author's Note: Written for numb3rs100

Comments

[emmademarais]

Very nice, Erin!

/applauds/

For a first drabble series it's fab! I can tell you, writing these prompts in a 4x100 format is tough and you did it well.

I especially liked the detail of Charlie accidentally kicking the shell casings and how that resonates. Very nice sensory detail tied to emotion. Brava!

Thank you so much for supporting N100 with your fic!

[starlettmalfoy]

::grins:: Thanks, Emma! It means a lot that you took the time to read/review. ^_^

I adore N100, lol, but drabbles are tough sometimes! :P I'm still honing the whole 'saying a lot without using a lot of words' thing. Heh. Practice makes perfect, right? :P

[emmademarais]

Most definitely!

Practicing at drabbles makes people better authors in every length fic because it increases your awareness of the words you use - it makes you make them work harder.

And FWIW you don't have to say a lot. There are some lovely drabbles that just capture a brief moment in time: the caress of a face before a kiss, a dying breath, a moment of shock. It's just a great challenge to tell a whole story in 100-300 words at a pop - one I really enjoy.

[1trackmind]

I really like this. I feel for Charlie and I like that Don is helping as much as he can.

Don's voice was always soft nowadays.

I really like that line.

[starlettmalfoy]

Thanks! ^_^ I liked that line too. When I was struggling to get them all down to 100 words each, I kept saying to myself, "Leave that line, leave that line, that's a good line." Lol. :)

Thanks for reading/commenting! <3

[ladygray99]

Very nice. This opening line really hit me.
"Don wasn't there when Charlie killed his first man."
It felt like for the rest of the fic Don was trying to make up for that fact. Good work.

[starlettmalfoy]

Thank you! :) I'm glad you liked it... It was a little tough to write, but I wanted to see Charlie sullied, and that's what came out. Lol.

[ladygray99]

Charlie's so pretty when he gets sullied. Plus it almost feels like the writers on the show are slowly working to this moment. I don't know if they'll ever take that final step of Charlie killing someone but they've taken him right up to the edge of it.

[starlettmalfoy]

Ooohh.. The very thought of it gives me shivers. Those writers should do it! It would be amazing... I mean, we've already had a partial glimpse of Charlie in that situation during the episode with the autistic boy, but if they really are leading up to it... oooh ::shivers again::

Plus, y'know, Don and Colby and co. would have to be there to help pick up the pieces... which would be great to see as well, heh.

[rubynye]

Oh, this is lovely, psychological, and angsty. Nicely done!

[starlettmalfoy]

Thanks, Ruby! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D