Hearts Adrift 2/?
Title: Hearts Adrift
Chapter: 2/lots
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Stargate SG-1
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Summary: Feeling confused and abandoned, Dawn remembers someone she met in a graveyard months before. Sequel to "Many the Hearts".
Daniel pulled up outside the bus terminal to find Dawn sitting on the curb, looking quite lost. She seemed far younger in the daylight than she had at their first meeting, her wide eyes and slim frame lending her an aura of fragile innocence. She looked warily at his car as he slowed to a stop, but wariness gave way to resignation when she recognized him behind the wheel. He leaned over and unlocked the passenger-side door, and she climbed in without a word.
Daniel watched her out of the corner of his eye as he pulled out of the way of the buses, noticing that she chose staring at the backpack in her lap over scrutinizing him back. She was pale and tired looking, but beyond that seemed healthy enough, at least on the surface. More than anything she looked frightened, unsure of her welcome.
Daniel gave her the warmest smile he could muster under the circumstances, swallowing his worry for the time being. “How was your trip?” he asked.
She looked up, shocked. “Um, the trip was… fine, I guess. How are you?”
“I’m alright. I’ve got some time off work right now,” he answered casually. “So, are you hungry?”
She looked at her backpack again and thought it over. “I guess.”
“Likes? Dislikes? Food wise, I mean.”
She shrugged. “Anything’s good.”
“There’s a Denny’s up on the left,” he suggested. She nodded mutely, so Daniel parked and turned off the car. Neither said a word as they exited the car.
The awkward silence continued until they’d been shown their booth and had ordered their drinks. Daniel watched Dawn carefully, looking for some sign of why she was here, halfway across the country from where he’d last seen her. He didn’t like the sadness he saw in her eyes, the frustration at the corners of her mouth.
“Dawn, I need to know why you’re here,” he finally told her.
Her shoulders slumped a little in resignation, but she’d obviously known the question was coming. “I had to get away from Sunnydale for a while,” she admitted. “Not, you know, forever or anything, but things have just gotten so screwed up lately. Everything’s been so… I don’t know. I just… I couldn’t stay.”
“So you ran away,” he supplied. “Why here? I mean, how did you even know where I live?”
Dawn blushed. “I sort of looked it up when Tara gave me your number. Nothing big, I just traced the phone numbers, I didn’t… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured her. “Still, why come to me? You don’t actually know anything about me. Not that you aren’t welcome, I meant it when I said you could come to me if you ever needed anything, but…”
She thought long and hard before answering his question. “You’re the only person I could go to. Hank’s still in Spain, or at least he was the last time I heard anything, which was before I even met you, and… there’s just not anybody else. I didn’t plan it, really, not at first, but I thought… You cared about Buffy even though you’d never met her, you know? So I figured… okay, so I don’t know what I figured, but I needed to at least… talk to someone, you know?”
He couldn’t help but nod. “I understand, but even so, what about your guardians? Do they know where you are?” She shook her head. “Dawn, they’re probably worried sick about you.”
“I know, but I- I couldn’t tell them where I am. They’d just bring me back,” she said quietly.
“Are you sure that’s not the best thing for you right now?” he asked gently.
She shook her head furiously. “No, I can’t! Not yet. It’s not like I’m running away forever, but I need… I don’t know. Time. Space. That whole continuum thingy.”
“I understand that, I really do. I… when I was your age, I was still in foster care, and believe me when I say I can understand the need to escape sometimes. I never had anywhere to go, but... Look, I’ll help you as much as I can. You’re welcome to stay at my house as long as you need, but I can’t keep you from your guardians, not if they haven’t… Not without good reason. You have to realize that.”
She nodded sadly. “I do, I was just hoping…”
Daniel sighed. “You need to talk to them, let them know you’re safe and who you’re with. They have to be okay with it.”
“If they even care,” Dawn muttered bitterly.
“Why do you say that?”
She sighed and shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. “It’s just that ever since- I mean, a lot’s happened recently, I guess. Not just my mom and Buffy, but after that. They- they don’t have time. It’s not their fault, not exactly, but… Xander’s been busy with his engagement, and Tara’s almost never there anymore, and Willow…” She wiped away a tear. “She’s just changed so much, and I’m so afraid for her, but there’s nothing I can do to help or stop it or anything, and then with my wrist, when she-“ Dawn broke off and for one heart-stopping moment Daniel was terrified Dawn was going to tell him that Willow had deliberately hurt her. “She didn’t mean to, I know she didn’t, but she was driving the car and it would never have happened if it weren’t for- if she didn’t do that to herself! It’s why Tara left, and I think it’s why Xander never wants to be around, and Spike’s just so preoccupied with- with other things, and there’s no room left for me.”
There was more to it, things she didn’t say veiled in what she did reveal, but Daniel didn’t press. It wasn’t the time, they hadn’t had the opportunity to develop that sort of trust yet, but he was afraid he could fill in some of the gaps himself. No matter what the situation really was, though, Daniel was certain that before him sat a frightened, neglected girl who no longer felt she could trust the people she’d spoken of so lovingly to him mere months before.
There was a momentary interruption as their food was brought, and Daniel watched Dawn through the silence. Everything about her demeanor positively screamed that she was keeping secrets that were eating her up inside, secrets that she might never reveal to him. He remembered some of his own more difficult moments, times when grief and loss were compounded by circumstance, when the loneliness and uncertainty were near overwhelming. He could only pray that she wasn’t privy to some of the darker horrors he’d experienced.
He chose his next words very carefully. “Dawn, if there’s anything, anything that’s happened that should be reported to the police…”
“No! I mean, it’s not like that. Nobody… I’m not abused or anything, I swear. I just…”
He nodded. “I’ll accept that for now, but I can’t promise I won’t ask again.”
“I get that, I guess,” Dawn said, “but the answer isn’t going to change. They don’t hurt me. They would never do anything like that.” Her answer was passionate, heartfelt. Whatever she’d suffered the last few months, she still loved her guardians dearly. “They just… there’s too much going on right now. I’m- I was in the way. They have too much to worry about even without having some dumb teenager to look after.”
“Did they tell you that?” Daniel asked softly.
Dawn let out a frustrated sigh. “It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” Daniel persisted. He knew he was pushing, but he was afraid he had no other choice.
“I don’t know!” Dawn shouted, on the verge of tears.
Daniel waited for her to take a few deep breaths before placing his hand on hers, leaning in to look her in the eye. “I need to know that this is the right thing to do.”
She nodded, sniffling, and took another deep breath. “I know. I’m sorry. Everything’s just so- stupid and confusing right now, you know?”
“Believe me, I understand,” he related dryly, eliciting a tiny grin from Dawn. She didn’t continue right away, instead picking at her food, lost in thought. “Dawn?” he prompted after a few minutes.
“We’re broken right now,” she finally said. “We’re broken and we’re trying to fix each other, but we don’t know how, and we just end up chipping off more little bits of each other. We keep trying to glue ourselves back together, but we end up smashing into each other until there’re too many pieces lying around to even remember who they belong to. We need to heal, but we don’t know how to do it without hurting everyone else around us, and I just want to stop making it worse.” Tears tracked silently down her cheeks as she spoke and it took everything Daniel had to remember that he didn’t know her well enough to wipe them away. “Every time I see them I remember all of the reasons why it feels like I’m bleeding inside, and I know it’s the same for them.”
“I’m sorry,” was all he could find to say.
She acknowledged his sympathy with a slight tilt of her head as she mentally regrouped. “What if I called and had you talk to one of them?” she asked slowly, abruptly changing the subject.
“Are you sure?” he asked as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.
She nodded, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as she accepted the phone. Wordlessly, she dialed the number and waited.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter: 2/lots
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Stargate SG-1
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Summary: Feeling confused and abandoned, Dawn remembers someone she met in a graveyard months before. Sequel to "Many the Hearts".
Daniel pulled up outside the bus terminal to find Dawn sitting on the curb, looking quite lost. She seemed far younger in the daylight than she had at their first meeting, her wide eyes and slim frame lending her an aura of fragile innocence. She looked warily at his car as he slowed to a stop, but wariness gave way to resignation when she recognized him behind the wheel. He leaned over and unlocked the passenger-side door, and she climbed in without a word.
Daniel watched her out of the corner of his eye as he pulled out of the way of the buses, noticing that she chose staring at the backpack in her lap over scrutinizing him back. She was pale and tired looking, but beyond that seemed healthy enough, at least on the surface. More than anything she looked frightened, unsure of her welcome.
Daniel gave her the warmest smile he could muster under the circumstances, swallowing his worry for the time being. “How was your trip?” he asked.
She looked up, shocked. “Um, the trip was… fine, I guess. How are you?”
“I’m alright. I’ve got some time off work right now,” he answered casually. “So, are you hungry?”
She looked at her backpack again and thought it over. “I guess.”
“Likes? Dislikes? Food wise, I mean.”
She shrugged. “Anything’s good.”
“There’s a Denny’s up on the left,” he suggested. She nodded mutely, so Daniel parked and turned off the car. Neither said a word as they exited the car.
The awkward silence continued until they’d been shown their booth and had ordered their drinks. Daniel watched Dawn carefully, looking for some sign of why she was here, halfway across the country from where he’d last seen her. He didn’t like the sadness he saw in her eyes, the frustration at the corners of her mouth.
“Dawn, I need to know why you’re here,” he finally told her.
Her shoulders slumped a little in resignation, but she’d obviously known the question was coming. “I had to get away from Sunnydale for a while,” she admitted. “Not, you know, forever or anything, but things have just gotten so screwed up lately. Everything’s been so… I don’t know. I just… I couldn’t stay.”
“So you ran away,” he supplied. “Why here? I mean, how did you even know where I live?”
Dawn blushed. “I sort of looked it up when Tara gave me your number. Nothing big, I just traced the phone numbers, I didn’t… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured her. “Still, why come to me? You don’t actually know anything about me. Not that you aren’t welcome, I meant it when I said you could come to me if you ever needed anything, but…”
She thought long and hard before answering his question. “You’re the only person I could go to. Hank’s still in Spain, or at least he was the last time I heard anything, which was before I even met you, and… there’s just not anybody else. I didn’t plan it, really, not at first, but I thought… You cared about Buffy even though you’d never met her, you know? So I figured… okay, so I don’t know what I figured, but I needed to at least… talk to someone, you know?”
He couldn’t help but nod. “I understand, but even so, what about your guardians? Do they know where you are?” She shook her head. “Dawn, they’re probably worried sick about you.”
“I know, but I- I couldn’t tell them where I am. They’d just bring me back,” she said quietly.
“Are you sure that’s not the best thing for you right now?” he asked gently.
She shook her head furiously. “No, I can’t! Not yet. It’s not like I’m running away forever, but I need… I don’t know. Time. Space. That whole continuum thingy.”
“I understand that, I really do. I… when I was your age, I was still in foster care, and believe me when I say I can understand the need to escape sometimes. I never had anywhere to go, but... Look, I’ll help you as much as I can. You’re welcome to stay at my house as long as you need, but I can’t keep you from your guardians, not if they haven’t… Not without good reason. You have to realize that.”
She nodded sadly. “I do, I was just hoping…”
Daniel sighed. “You need to talk to them, let them know you’re safe and who you’re with. They have to be okay with it.”
“If they even care,” Dawn muttered bitterly.
“Why do you say that?”
She sighed and shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. “It’s just that ever since- I mean, a lot’s happened recently, I guess. Not just my mom and Buffy, but after that. They- they don’t have time. It’s not their fault, not exactly, but… Xander’s been busy with his engagement, and Tara’s almost never there anymore, and Willow…” She wiped away a tear. “She’s just changed so much, and I’m so afraid for her, but there’s nothing I can do to help or stop it or anything, and then with my wrist, when she-“ Dawn broke off and for one heart-stopping moment Daniel was terrified Dawn was going to tell him that Willow had deliberately hurt her. “She didn’t mean to, I know she didn’t, but she was driving the car and it would never have happened if it weren’t for- if she didn’t do that to herself! It’s why Tara left, and I think it’s why Xander never wants to be around, and Spike’s just so preoccupied with- with other things, and there’s no room left for me.”
There was more to it, things she didn’t say veiled in what she did reveal, but Daniel didn’t press. It wasn’t the time, they hadn’t had the opportunity to develop that sort of trust yet, but he was afraid he could fill in some of the gaps himself. No matter what the situation really was, though, Daniel was certain that before him sat a frightened, neglected girl who no longer felt she could trust the people she’d spoken of so lovingly to him mere months before.
There was a momentary interruption as their food was brought, and Daniel watched Dawn through the silence. Everything about her demeanor positively screamed that she was keeping secrets that were eating her up inside, secrets that she might never reveal to him. He remembered some of his own more difficult moments, times when grief and loss were compounded by circumstance, when the loneliness and uncertainty were near overwhelming. He could only pray that she wasn’t privy to some of the darker horrors he’d experienced.
He chose his next words very carefully. “Dawn, if there’s anything, anything that’s happened that should be reported to the police…”
“No! I mean, it’s not like that. Nobody… I’m not abused or anything, I swear. I just…”
He nodded. “I’ll accept that for now, but I can’t promise I won’t ask again.”
“I get that, I guess,” Dawn said, “but the answer isn’t going to change. They don’t hurt me. They would never do anything like that.” Her answer was passionate, heartfelt. Whatever she’d suffered the last few months, she still loved her guardians dearly. “They just… there’s too much going on right now. I’m- I was in the way. They have too much to worry about even without having some dumb teenager to look after.”
“Did they tell you that?” Daniel asked softly.
Dawn let out a frustrated sigh. “It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” Daniel persisted. He knew he was pushing, but he was afraid he had no other choice.
“I don’t know!” Dawn shouted, on the verge of tears.
Daniel waited for her to take a few deep breaths before placing his hand on hers, leaning in to look her in the eye. “I need to know that this is the right thing to do.”
She nodded, sniffling, and took another deep breath. “I know. I’m sorry. Everything’s just so- stupid and confusing right now, you know?”
“Believe me, I understand,” he related dryly, eliciting a tiny grin from Dawn. She didn’t continue right away, instead picking at her food, lost in thought. “Dawn?” he prompted after a few minutes.
“We’re broken right now,” she finally said. “We’re broken and we’re trying to fix each other, but we don’t know how, and we just end up chipping off more little bits of each other. We keep trying to glue ourselves back together, but we end up smashing into each other until there’re too many pieces lying around to even remember who they belong to. We need to heal, but we don’t know how to do it without hurting everyone else around us, and I just want to stop making it worse.” Tears tracked silently down her cheeks as she spoke and it took everything Daniel had to remember that he didn’t know her well enough to wipe them away. “Every time I see them I remember all of the reasons why it feels like I’m bleeding inside, and I know it’s the same for them.”
“I’m sorry,” was all he could find to say.
She acknowledged his sympathy with a slight tilt of her head as she mentally regrouped. “What if I called and had you talk to one of them?” she asked slowly, abruptly changing the subject.
“Are you sure?” he asked as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.
She nodded, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as she accepted the phone. Wordlessly, she dialed the number and waited.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1