HELP ME

[epoh4ynniks]

 Well, I guess I should start from the beginning. I'm 18, soon to be 19. My whole family is morbidly obese...so I guess it doesn't fall far from the tree. My whole life, and especially since my parents divorce in 2004, I guess you could say I am a comfort eater. I eat my feelings. And, I must have had a whole lot of feelings because now I have ballooned up to 265 pounds. Thats so fucking huge. It sickens me to even think I could have ever gotten this big. I used to think I was fat when I was younger, and looking back I really should have enjoyed being skinny for a while. Instead of thinking I was fat because I was 150 pounds, wow would I do anything to be back there. I don't feel beautiful anymore, I feel trapped in my own skin. I want to be HOT, i want to feel hot. And, I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I want to feel like myself again. I have a beautiful boyfriend, whom I have loved since the moment I met him. And, he has a 7 month old son, which I absolutely adore. We all want to be a family, and I want to be the best mom I can to his son. I have had a really ruff life, but who hasn't? Everything is perfect in my life, besides me. I have everything anyone could want...but I can't even love myself. I have a huge problem. I have such an appetite its indescribable. And, it's like I'm never full...which I guess the weed doesn't help that. But, damn I love weed. I need help, I don't know who or what to turn to. My whole family are big lard asses. I guess they taught me how to be. I went to the doctor the other day, and they did some blood work. They called me back, and told me I have FAT in my liver. I am actually so disgustingly fat that I have FAT in my liver. Which could mean diabetes,and everything else. I am scared. I just want to be me again. I need support...someone to guide me in the process of loosing weight. I want to loose weight so bad, more than anything else in the world. If there is anyone out there. That can be my friend, and help me. Please don't judge me cause I'm disgustingly huge. Be my friend and help me. Pro ana Pro whatever I just want to be skinny. You can be my weight loss guru...what do you say????

HELP ME
LOVE
FATASS