this one is serious

[epluribusunum]

everything that is real makes me sad
thinking about life, thinking about the world outside of what daily affects me
its a spiraling thorn aimed for the heart that couldn't be extinguished if i cried for days
these minutes are becoming hours...and i am becoming more selffish
i am sick of feeling like i am not who i am
maybe i am settling for more
maybe the answer was so easily in front of me so long ago
distance is making me think twice about everything i've been choking down

i hope someone doesn't read this the wrong way

someone from my past visited me recently
i felt good inside and remembered what its like to miss someone
to actually feel good inside when you see them
to remember what its like to be happy without sex
a kiss is all you need to be satisfied
we are growing up and it looks as if we need to plan for the future
do i want to be miserable everyday because i do things i shouldn't be guilty for?
or should i loathe in the fact that i was avoiding destiny all along?

c