i just wanna bring u down so badly- in the worst way
just got back from camp... it was fun i guess. i jet skiied a lot and went swimming a few times. i love to swim. our toilet is broken and my dad didnt have enough time to fix it, but its close. nothing interesting has happened to me since i last posted. i realized that im happy alone and i dont really need anyone else. its weird cuz ive always relied on other ppl to help me have fun but this weekend i found fun by myself. i enjoyed being alone. i miss jaret tho.
ive been thinking a lot about dying and its making me sad. i dont wanna die and i dont want anyone else to die either. id like to actually acomplish something before i die. also, i havent been with enough guys. it may sound bad but ive never just been with 1 guy for a long period of time. and even when i did do that, i still was with other guys kinda. its weird to think about being with 1 person for the rest of ur life.
i wonder what it would be like to die. i wonder if it hurts or if you just kind of fall asleep. i wonder if you dream and what happens to your mind. maybe it just stops working and everything goes black and you just stop breathing and stop thinking and stop being. hmmm.
were seriously thinking about breeding martha now. we dont know where to take her to have the baby tho. i think we found a sire... hes cute. dark bay and white paint, 16.2H... yea hes adorable. hes gonna be my ponys baby daddy... i hope. to get her preggers i have to give up getting a new car. so my car has to last until i can pay for a new one. this is not good. i wish my rents were rich so they could get me a car that didnt break all the time. i hate when ppl are like "yea my car was cheap, it was only like 7 or 8 grand." haha thats not cheap. cheap is $500. cheap is falling apart every month. cheap is putting more money into repairs than it cost to actually purchase the car. so dont tell me ur car was cheap until u have to deal with this piece of shit every month breaking.
i cant wait for school. im taking pretty sweet classes. i just wanna go back to cortland cuz i hate living at home and if something happens between me and jaret i can actually find another guy. there are no love-worthy guys in syracuse. i made it a point at ludden never to date someone who went there and now im making it a point not to date a syracusian, unless hes perfect :)
there is cat puke in front of me. gross. i have to clean it up tho. eww. oh well. i guess ill do that now. peace out bitchesssss.
ive been thinking a lot about dying and its making me sad. i dont wanna die and i dont want anyone else to die either. id like to actually acomplish something before i die. also, i havent been with enough guys. it may sound bad but ive never just been with 1 guy for a long period of time. and even when i did do that, i still was with other guys kinda. its weird to think about being with 1 person for the rest of ur life.
i wonder what it would be like to die. i wonder if it hurts or if you just kind of fall asleep. i wonder if you dream and what happens to your mind. maybe it just stops working and everything goes black and you just stop breathing and stop thinking and stop being. hmmm.
were seriously thinking about breeding martha now. we dont know where to take her to have the baby tho. i think we found a sire... hes cute. dark bay and white paint, 16.2H... yea hes adorable. hes gonna be my ponys baby daddy... i hope. to get her preggers i have to give up getting a new car. so my car has to last until i can pay for a new one. this is not good. i wish my rents were rich so they could get me a car that didnt break all the time. i hate when ppl are like "yea my car was cheap, it was only like 7 or 8 grand." haha thats not cheap. cheap is $500. cheap is falling apart every month. cheap is putting more money into repairs than it cost to actually purchase the car. so dont tell me ur car was cheap until u have to deal with this piece of shit every month breaking.
i cant wait for school. im taking pretty sweet classes. i just wanna go back to cortland cuz i hate living at home and if something happens between me and jaret i can actually find another guy. there are no love-worthy guys in syracuse. i made it a point at ludden never to date someone who went there and now im making it a point not to date a syracusian, unless hes perfect :)
there is cat puke in front of me. gross. i have to clean it up tho. eww. oh well. i guess ill do that now. peace out bitchesssss.