yea you bleed just to know youre alive

[epitome_of_evil]

have u ever wanted to not exist? or just have ppl not notice u? or just get the hell out of here and start over and make a new reputation for urself? where no one knows u or anything about u and cant judge u and where u can pick ur friends and not just hang out with whoever is closest to u. i honestly am so sick of syracuse. theres nothing to do here and im not old enough for bars so i cant do that and thats really all there ever was to do here. i cant go to the club cuz i keep telling jill i wanna go and she keeps saying ok but we never go, maybe she thinks im not serious. but she is working a lot so i guess that could be it.

dave and alex came in to tb again. it doesnt usuually bother me but for some reason today it did. they seem happy. i used to be like "oh well as long as hes happy" but now i dont want him to be happy. he hurt me and i shouldnt wish happiness on him.

today i wished that i could just shut the world out and go and hide somewhere away from everything. but i couldnt and to make it worse, i had to work. but mike was the manager and he doesnt care about much so that made it better.

i cant wait till i see jaret on thursday. phone calls are welcome and so are messages. just cuz im gonna be 3 hrs away doesnt mean i should be dead to my friends for a few days. i wont get any calls and thats ok with me cuz ill be having fun with my lover :)

i think im depressed

i think i just kicked my ferret in the face

she looks like a furry inch worm

that is all... goodbye