Emilie & Valdemar: del fem - 3. november.
English translation:
Monday November 3rd
Dear Valdemar
I thought for a while that I would never write to you again. I thought you must be on their side. But no matter what else I might think about you I cannot believe that. Not really. And it has soon been a week, I cannot stand it. I have always been alone, I cannot bear it. I apologise. I have never meant that word before when I have said it, because I have never really regretted something I have done before. I mean it now.
But still, that you in this way write off my charm shows an impressive lack of judgement, if you ask me. Do you think I write it just to brag? Charm is not something you should disregard so easily. It is an effective weapon, and just about the only one I have.
You say I have no idea. You are absolutely right. You are right that I have no idea what this is about, but I will tell you that I have an idea of how this is. This is terribly frustrating, to put it simply. I do not know what you spend your time doing, who you conspire with and talk to (if there is someone), but I do not talk to anyone. I only have you, and you are not particularly helpful. Is it odd that I try to find things out on my own? Is it so strange? I have to admit that I went back to the library after the librarians stopped me from borrowing those books. I found the one book again and hid behind the bookshelves. It was about the family history of the Tranes, with an accompanying family tree, perhaps you have seen it. It was old, so the last names were Kasper and Isfrid, mother. Father must have been born a bit later. I did not find anything exciting, and I suppose that is why I did not mention it. But it is strange when one sees the family that way, imagine that we are both first and second cousins.
You say I am to trust the Tranes, and wait like a Trane. Mother is a Trane, and I do not trust her. Or should I? I am so confused. But I can wait, I have been doing that all my life. If you say I am to wait then I can.
And yes, I will go for walks in the park and pick chestnuts, even though the finest ones will soon be gone. You seem to have missed out on the happiness of holding a chestnut in your hand, so I will give you one. Rub it between your fingers, Valdemar, and rest your thoughts a while. And I will continue to charm who I wish, because one never knows when one needs someone that admires you.
- Your Emilie
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4