The Signal (2024) 1x01-1x04 + Mission Impossible (1966 - 1973) 1x10 + Heat (2023) 1x01 + 2 more
Vanished
A German 4-part limited series. A annoying man feels poisonous paranoia and is trying to understand and survive through a horrific situation. This is so like ‘Constellation’. This is dubbed. The man has a mad astronaut wife and a really annoying brat daughter. The astronaut wife is stupid and dumb. Quality plummets. This is not haunting or surreal.
A billionaire privately funded the space trip. After returning to earth, the astronauts all die in a plane crash. The plane crashed off Ireland. There is babble about the smell of space. The mad wife tried to kill people during the return to earth and caused the plane crash. There is exposition and a dodgy woman hangs off the husband. Is she a mistress?
There is no creativity, skills or motivation. This was not thought provoking. This is exceptionally poorly written. The wife babbles crap. This is farcical. There was a catastrophic failure of purpose. Horrible reality has to be faced. The spoilt whiny bratty daughter is moronic and an obstructive presence. There are 3 more eps of this? The astronaut wife = Paula. Moods sour as Paula caused lasting detriment. The useless thick husband throws out perfectly good food. People are dying!
Best Lines:
“Eating my brain.”
“Your hand is wet.”
Paula
The astronauts received a mysterious message in space from the deepest regions of space. Did a private foundation make first contact? The brat kid is always screaming, tantruming, talking and or sh*tting on attempts to parent her. Paula didn’t function with sound mind, she was a crazy woman. Paula had psychosis before and was allowed into the astronaut programme? She was on anti-psychotics? Did she have flashbacks and kill nearly 200 people?
Paula went crazy in space. She had zero self-respect and acted in relationally destructive ways. Reporters gather and people throw rocks. Paula was a manipulative liar. The daughter is a brat who needs a damn good kicking. This wrongs god.
Best Line:
“I hope you lose everything you ever cared about!”
Black Box
The brat is missing. But not for long. The daughter is deaf? A mad old biddy lurks. There is a dumb car crash. Covid is mentioned. There is a plan to shoot down the aliens. This was crap.
Best Lines:
“Already taken out 2 deer.”
“Autonomous domain.”
“Manifestly evil intentions.”
“Whatever they’re afraid of.”
“How very German of you.”
Departure
The miniseries ends. The billionaire speaks. There is a twist. Paula was annoying. This was maddening. There was a wilful, cruel act and a twist. The man is embarrassingly thick. There is a chilling project but no significant freight. There is no compelling fascination. This was dreadful. There are moral failings. This was not wholly successful. There was a twist with no emotional kick or intellectual grist. This was grim and not a compelling chronicle.
Best Lines:
“Live with the consequences.”
“Nothing’s coming!”
“Someone is out there.”
~
The Carriers
This has George Takei, bacteriological warfare and a mock-up of a really stereotypical US town. The US town plot also featured in ‘Alias’. The theme is 60s and Greg Morris features. Peter Graves does not. GT plays an IMF agent. What became of roof racks? Typhoid Marys are to be created. The screen is blurred whenever Cinnamon is onscreen. I just did not care and DNF.
Best Line:
“He never got out.”
~
Heat (2023) 1x01 🦘🐨🐨
A 4-part Channel 5 drama about DANNY DYER as an ex-pat in the land down under. DANNY DYER is angry a lot of the time but knows how to hide it when he needs to. He can’t drive, nearly runs over a roo and has moved his whining family to bush fire central. A catastrophe is coming down the line. DANNY DYER: who would want to look that stupid?
DANNY DYER is wrecking everything. Olympia Valance is in this. DANNY DYER is full on professional geezer. There is a mysterious arm injury. There is unhidden seething resentment. DANNY DYER makes wholly disproportionate decisions. Women are distraught. There is unfounded certainty. DANNY DYER is beyond alarming.
Are DANNY DYER’s family on holiday or expats? Why is DANNY DYER acting weird? Black cockatoos make noise. DANNY DYER carries an obviously empty cooler and did bankruptcy and fraud. DANNY DYER = job avoidance and no dignity. Mia = slut. Sexytimes are had. So dull. Mia needs to be sold. A twist!
Best Lines:
“THE KANGAROO’S FAULT!”
“Always a bit stupid.”
“Acting all weird again.”
"So awful to you!"
~
Feud: Capote vs The Swans 2x07
Beautiful Babe
Structured around the death of Babe and Truman. There is still 1 episode to go. Babe’s daughter won’t see her. Appearances still matter. Does Babe have OCD? A gilded era in NY is ending. Wasn’t the city a crime filled war zone at this point? Babe curates her life and death to perfection. Truman was banned from Babe’s funeral. Joanne mentions Richard Simmons.
Babe would have hated Joanne’s West Coast style. Truman dies of the dying. He was a moocher who did systemically poor treatment. Truman did exaggerated affections. This is not a terrible tragedy that ends badly. Babe is beset by challenges. A massive misstep that is tunelessly operatic. Babe thinks the swans v Capote feud is absurd.
Babe plans her funeral service with salmon and perfectly folded napkins. Joanne is divorced. Truman didn’t write. Truman wanted to do Babe’s eulogy. Dominick Dunne stole Truman’s career. Truman’s eulogy of Babe is terrible. He is reduced to reading it to CZ in his dirty apartment. Truman deserves to be reviled. Bill flirts with skanks at Babe’s funeral. Truman was salacious to the end. Slim and Lee bitch. Truman was drunk and slurring on TV. Jack has contempt for Truman. Everyone has contempt for Joanne who is just nice. This was dull. Many dislike this.
Best Lines:
“No more purchasing my forgiveness!”
“Barely disguised contempt.”
“Alone and surrounded by people.”
“Wretched television show.”
~
Mary & George (2024) 1x01
The Second Son 🍑🦚🍆
A 7-part historical romp about a lust, for power. George was born to Mary and dropped by the midwives. She will see he reaches too high. In 1612 there is snow. This has ugly opening credits. This was inspired by a book. George whines. The unpleasant reality is that they’re poor. Mary was a serving girl with nothing. There is talk of long forgotten situations. George is a burden.
Mary thought darker. There is seething resentment and cold pragmatism and domestic violence. There is a moment of shame. There is a lack of pious ideas. There is murder, under lit rooms and a lack of religion and servants. There is bad comedy and ugly costumes. George is useless. A French fop fops. This is bad. France is full of orgies. This is not joyfully silly just muddled in tone.
James I has been king of England since 1603. Robert Carr is the current favourite despite James being married to Anne Of Denmark and having 7 kids by her. James I’s kids include Prince Henry (doomed to die of typhoid fever), Elizabeth (the Winter Queen), Charles (whose head got choppy choppy) and 4 irrelevants. James is surrounded by deceitful men. Court is all full of Scots. Mary encounters Robert Carr the Earl Of Somerset. There is constant swearing. Carr (Laurie Davidson of ‘Will’) is an ass. James I (Tony Curran of ‘Underworld: Evolution’ and ‘Labyrinth’) is a pervert. Mary sets George on James. It starts out…badly.
Best Lines:
“Before I avenge the dropping business!”
“Rights of acquisition.”
“Yearn for the new.”
“Scottish semen guzzlers.”
“A waste of life.”
“Cockstruck.”
“His head will turn one day.”
“You seem entirely endurable.”
“Brutes all.”
