(no subject)
Bitterness. It chews on my life like a toy used by a puppy thats teething. Everyones gone and loneliness consumes my day. I want to go. Just 1 more day in this city. It seems like an eternity. Boredom and loneliness. A deadly combination. TV and video games have lost their bite against the reality of time. The days are now longer and darker. 24 now seems like 48 and the slow bite of pain in my head is growing. There is nothing I can do to stop it and all I can do is hope it lessens when I leave. I finish work faster and spend too much time thinking. The "what if's" haven't come back yet, but when they do Ill be ready. They wont take me again. 2 weeks now seems like my whole summer. I long for a touch I will not get until the start of a new moon. I want to weep. The waiting is the hardest. To be able to live with you and only you is like trying to make a point to a 2 year old. Impossible. Insanity gradually devours your mind. I try to keep busy and occupied but the tasks are so simple and my passion has run out. I no longer feel the melodies pulsing from my fingers. They are dying. Fading.