bad dreams.
so lately i've been having really bizarre, panic-inducing dreams. i don't even remember what they're about usually, just that they're like hazy fever dreams and i wake up feeling alone and scared.
on top of that my roommate hasn't been home so i wake up like this to a cold dark empty house. even now i'm hoping eric wants to come over after he gets off work so i know i won't be alone.
and i think it was these dreams i've been having have effected my conscious thought too...
today, laying around with genuinely nothing to do, i just started thinking and worrying; what do i do when i have to get a career to support myself? what happens if i can't find a job? what happens if i'm not good at my major? if i'm out of school with a major i suck at and no job, what then?
it's all really suffocating. i don't really know what i'm going to do. i mean, eric has skills, like hair cutting and being a mechanic. i'm good at drawing. that won't get me anywhere.
i don't know if majoring in japanese is a mistake. i really like it but i know i'm not that good at it. maybe i need to give myself more time, i don't know. but i don't know what else i'd want to/could do.
i'm terrified.