"I'm ridin' the highs, I'm diggin' the lows, 'cause at least I feel alive..."
I would have denied my wrecklessness if I had found it a big deal before, but in all actuality, I didn't even think I needed to change until Friday night. I would lie about what I've been doing, because well, the shit I've been doing tends to disappoint people, but that's not me. I really hate disappointing people, but I'm not going to lie...as low as I stoop, I'll never fucking lie.
So, the events that have consumed these last 7 weeks of my college life haven't been the best, and Friday, I figured that out. I ended up going out with Brittany, Abby, and Julie to a few parties. I played beer pong, lost, then kings, and had to drink a bit, then had 4 shots of tequilla without even knowing what it was. Needless to say, I should have been done there. I wasn't going to throw up, I could walk fine, I was OK. But then we went to another party and my friend Chris had some shit, so we smoked two bowls and I was so far gone after that. Chris ended up in my bed, and I'm not really sure how, but nothing happened, and I do know that for a fact. Honest to God, like, none of us remember that night perfectly. We were all pretty fucked up. And as soon as I hit the point where if someone weould have tried to rape me, that they could've gotten away with it, I realized how much I need to simmer down. Last night I confronted myself. Saturday was even a test. We went out to parties, and while I smoked a bit, and even drank a bit, I was super sober. I didn't feel a thing, and it didn't bother me at all.
The sexual stuff that's been happening, well, that's non-existent really, so there's no need in changing that. The Whore Score is still posted high and stuff, but Brittany and I have decided that we're not cut out for this game 'cause we have too many morals concerning sexual stuff. I'm going to remain a virgin, and so is she...and if we lose, we lose...it's okay. :]
Anyways, I just wanted to let those of you who care, know that I'm straightening out the best way I know how. And thanks for worrying if you were, it means a lot. I love y'all.
So, the events that have consumed these last 7 weeks of my college life haven't been the best, and Friday, I figured that out. I ended up going out with Brittany, Abby, and Julie to a few parties. I played beer pong, lost, then kings, and had to drink a bit, then had 4 shots of tequilla without even knowing what it was. Needless to say, I should have been done there. I wasn't going to throw up, I could walk fine, I was OK. But then we went to another party and my friend Chris had some shit, so we smoked two bowls and I was so far gone after that. Chris ended up in my bed, and I'm not really sure how, but nothing happened, and I do know that for a fact. Honest to God, like, none of us remember that night perfectly. We were all pretty fucked up. And as soon as I hit the point where if someone weould have tried to rape me, that they could've gotten away with it, I realized how much I need to simmer down. Last night I confronted myself. Saturday was even a test. We went out to parties, and while I smoked a bit, and even drank a bit, I was super sober. I didn't feel a thing, and it didn't bother me at all.
The sexual stuff that's been happening, well, that's non-existent really, so there's no need in changing that. The Whore Score is still posted high and stuff, but Brittany and I have decided that we're not cut out for this game 'cause we have too many morals concerning sexual stuff. I'm going to remain a virgin, and so is she...and if we lose, we lose...it's okay. :]
Anyways, I just wanted to let those of you who care, know that I'm straightening out the best way I know how. And thanks for worrying if you were, it means a lot. I love y'all.