Epico - Chapter 6/?
Epico - A Sorta Fairytale: Chapter Six
Authors: CJ [vylentcrymz], Emilie [emilierevan], Jen [savvy_elf] and Stacy [adayindreamland].
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Dominic Monaghan/Emilie de Ravin, Ian Somerhalder/Maggie Grace, Orlando Bloom/Evangeline Lilly
Summary: Love. Friendship. Growth. Sex. Change. Drama. But mostly just sex. Sure, we have a plot… somewhere around here (now where did I put that thing?), but when broken down into its simplest form, Epico = SEX!
Disclaimer: We don't own these people. They're real, sure, but none of these events have or ever will transpire. No offense is meant and we're making no profit from this. Title taken from the song A Sorta Fairytale by Tori Amos.
Authors’ Notes: We all really hope you enjoy reading Epico (fyi, that’s Spanish for epic, and if you say it out loud, you absolutely must be wearing a sombrero). We’ve been working on this fic for ages and it’s really become our baby - our alcoholic, sex-addicted, constantly horny, and occasionally violent baby whom we love with every bit of our hearts and souls. We realize that no one will be able to give our baby the same unconditional love we have showered upon it, but our hope is that Epico will be able to bring a smile to your face and warm the cockles of your heart. Or it might rot your brain, but that’s the risk you take when dealing with Epico.
Please remember: Feedback is to us as sex is to Magsian, Domilie, and Orlilly. As in, very important, and something that needs to be done 24/7.
A/N 2: I apologize for this taking so long. RL sucks and there was a bit of a hassle with a chapter that, unfortunately, will not be posted. LOL!
Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Retail therapy. There was nothing like it. Whether it was a hangover or a lingering fight with a significant other, it served a great way to spend time instead of hiding under the comforter at home moping.
For Emilie the reason why Evi took her to the mall and they were spending the day in changing rooms was the latter. One of the biggest problems with getting married to Josh was the daunting prospect of consolidating assets. Because included in that category was where they’d live. Josh had his life in L.A and Emilie had hers in Hawaii. They weren’t going to be married and still spend 4 days of the week apart every week.
And each time the topic came up, it never ended well. Emilie would be driving off the set after a 12-hour workload with exhaustion, sweat and dirt weighing her down and take out her frustration on him. Or Josh would say something he didn’t mean which he’d apologize for after an hour of arguing and two with them ignoring each other’s calls.
It was those kind of stressful incidents that made Josh proposing the idea of eloping even more alluring. Even though Emilie never needed a big wedding, she’d always hated the idea of going to Vegas and getting married in front of an Elvis look-a-like; so the fact that she was actually considering it…
Her stomach growled suddenly, proving a good distraction for the moment. Less hard thinking, more food and shopping.
“I’m hungry,” Emilie announced, loudly enough for Evi to hear her from the next room over.
“We ate like ten minutes ago!”
“A very questionable salad in the food court,” Emilie reminded her. “My stomach’s growling.”
She could hear Evi scoff in the dressing room beside hers, “Why is that not surprising?”
“Why are you making me feel guilty for being hungry?”
“I’m not try-” Evi’s voice cut off and the wall between them shook. “Fuck!”
“What happened?"
“I lost my balance.”
Emilie snorted. “You’re as bad as Dom, you know.”
“Speaking of Dom, how’re things going with you guys?”
Emilie sighed, “You ask me that every chance you get, I’ve noticed.”
A few moments of silence followed until finally, as casually as her loss of balance, Evi continued, “Well…tell me.”
“Does someone have a crush on a certain hobbit?” Emilie asked, even if the prospect was frightening.
Evi seemed to agree, shouting immediately: “BLASPHEMY!”
“I was just kidding, but good to know what you think of him,” Emilie put her jeans back on and slipped into her flip flops. “I’m going to go find a snack, you going to be here long or should I just wait for you?”
“I still have a few more outfits to go through,” Evi poked her head over the edge. “Go ahead without me.”
Emilie screamed, “What the hell, what if I was naked?”
“Then I’d compliment you on your shapely figure, ask if you need help getting into your clothes. And then we’d both realize we were in one of Dom’s fantasies.”
“Shapely?” Emilie’s brow furrowed and she pouted. “Pick a better word.”
“Seriously, though, go without me, I’ll still be here when you get back.” Evi’s mouth fell open and she gasped. “Is that my purse?!”
“Oops,” Emilie feigned apologies. “Must’ve accidentally snagged it when you weren’t looking.”
Rolling her eyes, Evi let it go, getting back down on the floor, out of Emilie’s sight. “Go ahead, my treat. You paid for breakfast.”
“Mmm, bacon and eggs with a nice, high stack of pancakes,” Emilie practically drooled. “Screw exercise and staying fit, I just wanna live in a house made out of food.”
“Dom? I swear that’s you, take off your Emilie disguise.”
“Funny,” Emilie dryly called, slipping out of her room.
Vibrations against her side startled her but she quickly realized it was Evi’s phone. Digging it out, she flipped it open. “Hello, Evangeline Lilly’s assistant speaking.”
Orlando’s voice was in her ear, “Oh, hello. Is Evangeline there?”
"She's not here at present," Emilie managed to say without giggling.
"Oh well... could I, maybe, leave a message? Or I could hold on! Will she be long?"
"I'm sorry, she might be awhile. She's occupied." Putting on her best professional voice, and biting her tongue for a moment while she composed herself, she kept her tone as even as she could. "She's having a poo poo."
Orlando's eyes widened and he choked. "Wh-what?!"
"It's just a normal bodily function, Mr. Bloom. Nothing to get so immature about." Emilie bit the side of her hand to stifle her laughter and shook her head.
"Wait, Mr. Bloom? How did you know who it was?"
She cursed silently to herself and bit her lower lip. "I watch movies, I recognized your voice."
Orlando thought about it for a moment before it hit him, putting together the stifled giggle and Australian accent. “Emilie?”
“I prefer Ms. de Ravin, thank you very much,” Emilie said firmly into the phone, trying to save face.
“She’s not actually going poo poo, is she?” Orlando ran a hand over his face, not believing that he actually just used that term.
Emilie stepped outside the dressing room, out of earshot from Evi. “No, she isn’t. But wouldn’t that be awkward, you’d wonder to yourself if she washed her hands before getting on the phone.”
Orlando laughed, “Probably, so I guess it’s good that she’s not, yeah?”
“So, why are you calling?” Emilie made her way out of the store and into the rest of the mall. “I mean, I know why you are, but I’ll give you the chance to come up with something creative.”
“I…have no idea what you’re talking about,” Orlando tried to sound like he really didn't, even when his voice jumped into his throat. “Just calling to say hi.”
Emilie bounced up and down, nose crinkling. “Pathetic! Come up with something better.”
“You’re friendly on the phone.”
“My conversational skills are quite impressive, thank you.”
“You sound like Dom more and more every time I talk to you,” Orlando observed with a small smile.
Emilie rolled her eyes, not even bothering to go there while absently tracing the ring with her thumb. “You like Evi.”
Orlando practically choked, reacting worse than when he thought Evi was going poo poo. “You’re bloody nuts, is what you are-is…is what you are.”
“Um…” Emilie made a face. “Convincing.”
He started to make an argument for his cause but he could easily imagine the expression Emilie’s face and gave up halfway, sighing pathetically. “Am I that obvious?”
“Bunnies humping each other on Animal Planet are miles ahead of you when it comes to subtlety,” Emilie dryly explained.
“These conversations of ours are always educational.”
“What can I say?” Emilie shrugged. “I’m gifted.”
“Does Evangeline know…?” Orlando asked, his desperation clear. “I wouldn’t want her to think I’m some lovesick guy-”
"Which you are."
“When really, I’d just…” Orlando squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to find the right words. “I…it’s hard to explain.”
Emilie seemed more than willing to fill in the blanks, not really caring how awkward Orlando felt. Better to brush over all of that and get to the point instead of hemming and hawing. “You can’t stop thinking about her, of course. She’s charmed you. You’re a smitten kitten and she’s the object of your affection. You’re the pirate and she’s your wench-”
“Alright, alright!” his cheeks were burning bright red by the time he finally stopped her.
“The list is a long one, trust me,” Emilie made her way to a vending machine and perused the selection. “You don’t want me to go on?”
“No, I think you’ve put enough words into it.”
After a moment: “Do you want me to go back and give her the phone so you can not tell her how much you like her?”
“I don’t think so, not today,” he said quietly. “I have to call Dom anyways.”
“He’s quite popular today.”
“I’m actually planning on coming over there sometime soon,” Orlando announced, but then quickly added: “Um, and I’d rather you not tell too many people-”
Emilie smirked, “And by that you mean Evi?”
Orlando laughed, “Yeah, I’d…it’d be nice to surprise her. It’s no big deal, I-”
“No worries, I won’t mention it at all,” Emilie assured him. “I’ll probably forget about it in a few minutes anyways.”
“Never have I been happier to hear that you’ll forget everything I’ve said.”
“Well, not everything,” Emilie slipped in a dollar bill and chose a bag of chips and pack of gum. Not exactly the healthiest meal but it’d tide her over until they got back to her and Maggie’s place for Movie Night. “Blackmail is useful.”
Orlando scoffed, but there was hardly any sting behind his words. “Evil!”
“Bah, you know you love it,” Emilie joked, before letting out a small shriek. Before Orlando could panic, she laughed into the receiver. “It’s just Evi, she decided to be mean and scare me.”
“Who’s that?” Orlando heard Evi’s muffled voice in his ear and shut his eyes, torn between being too humiliated to talk to her and wanting nothing more than to have a conversation-any kind-and he hated it.
“Your stalker,” Emilie said in a faux-alarmed voice before giggling. “No, it’s Josh. My phone died so I’m using yours. Don’t worry, I’ll pay you back the two dollars these minutes’ll cost.”
A long minute passed with Orlando dreading that Evi didn’t believe it, until finally Emilie’s voice came back sound and clear. “Hey, sorry about that.”
“No problem, I’ll…” he ran a hand through his hair and breathed out in relief. “Goodbye, Emilie.”
“Goodbye, snookums.”
---
Maggie looked up from her script to see Emilie and Evi enter the room, greeting them with a small wave. “Did you guys empty your checking accounts?”
“Down to the last penny,” Evi joked, dropping her two bags on the counter. She arched over the surface to try and see what Maggie was reading. “Sorry you couldn’t come, how was filming?”
“Can’t tell, you’ll have to wait to see when the episode airs,” she teased, pressing the script close to her so Evi couldn’t see. “And you should be sorry. With the day I had? I had to come here first to take a long shower before dropping by the video store.”
Emilie looked over her shoulder briefly as she went about making herself some tea, “What movies did you get?”
“Empire Records, The God’s Must Be Crazy and When a Stranger Calls.”
Smiling, Emilie gave an approving nod. “Diverse.”
“The God’s Must Be Crazy?” Evi grabbed the DVD case and studied it.
“You’ve never seen it?” Maggie could hardly contain her surprise. She laughed, “You’re going to love it.”
“No, she’s going to love When a Stranger Calls,” Emilie’s eyes twinkled mischievously, making her way into the living room and kicking off her shoes. Evi and Maggie followed her in as well, just as exhausted. “God, I need to get off my feet.”
Evi sunk into the couch and groaned, massaging the soles of her own feet. It took her a moment to realize that both Maggie and Emilie were shooting each other pointed looks, glancing Evi’s way every moment or so like they were prodding each other to talk about whatever they had on their minds.
“So,” Emilie finally began, curling her leg under her as she settled on the sofa and cradled her cup of tea. “You and Orlando seem to be getting on quite well at the moment.”
Suspicion as to what they were up to melted away immediately. Evi looked down at her lap and smiled, a faint blush creeping up her neck. “He’s very nice. We have a lot more in common than I expected we would,” she said happily, playing with her fingers.
“And?” prodded Maggie, leaning forward in her chair as she placed her own mug of coffee by her side. “Are we looking at a possible romance?”
“Maggie! I’ve barely known him that long, I’m not going to jump into a relationship,” Evi said with a shocked laugh.
“You don’t have to jump into a relationship, per se.” Emilie shrugged and quietly, behind the rim of her teacup, finished: “Just into bed.”
Maggie nearly choked on her drink as Evi reached over and slapped Emilie hard across the arm.
“What’s wrong with you guys?” Evi shook her head, incredulous as Maggie and Emilie reached out and gave each other high-fives.
“Nothing, nothing, we’re just kidding,” Maggie explained after laughing for a good two minutes. “It’s pretty hard for us to have a serious conversation about how you and Orlando are only friends when the sexual tension between you is so thick I could choke on it.”
“Is everything about sex with you two?” Evi asked, raising her hand as the words left her mouth. “No, wait, I already know the answer to that.”
Emilie nodded, a grin playing on her lips. “It’s a big, hard, dirty yes,” she agreed.
Evi rolled her eyes and leaned back into her seat. “I will not be dating, or sleeping with, Orlando anytime soon. I really doubt he feels anything more than platonic towards me, anyways.”
---
Dom, leaning against the counter in his and Ian’s kitchen, spoke loudly to Orlando over the speakerphone. “So, you wanna shag Evi then?”
“Yes,” Orlando murmured after a moment’s hesitation, giving a depressed sigh. “But it’s both too soon, and too Just Friends. I hate Just Friends.”
“Of course, any man in his right mind would hate the Just Friends area,” Dom laughed. “Because when you’re Just Friends you’re Just Alone in bed at night.”
Orlando feigned laughter but the sarcasm was clear enough for the Mancunian. “S’not funny.”
“Well, I’m entitled to a bit of teasing, yeah? You were the one daft enough to keep things….what’s the word? Platonic.”
Ian rolled his eyes pointedly as he walked into the room, putting his jacket on. “So Dom, how’re things going with you and Emilie?”
Dom shifted more than a little uncomfortably, “Good point, mate.”
“Well, what ‘bout you?” Orlando called over the line. “Any girls on the horizon for you, Ian?”
“No way. I’m much more content to watch you guys mess up your love-lives, and then learn from your mistakes,” he said, laughing. “You both just need to get off your asses and do something instead of dancing around all the time.”
“Well, well, if it isn’t Dr. Love. You sure you haven’t got a bird stashed away somewhere? You’re way too…happy,” Dom commented.
Ian shook his head and concentrated on finding his keys. “It’s possible to be happy and not have a girlfriend. Shocking but true,” he said dryly.
“So you’re gay then?” Orlando questioned, and when he heard Ian predictably scoff, he chuckled. “What? Just covering all the bases.”
Taking in a deep breath but never tearing his eyes away from the counter, Ian let himself admit, “So what if I’m with someone, does it matter?”
Dom’s eyebrows rose and Ian was sure Orlando had the same reaction all the way in the Caribbean.
Ian shrugged, guessing that Maggie would kill him if she ever knew he was even implying they had a relationship. He pushed away the annoyance at that, the image of her all red in the face telling him that everybody knowing about them wouldn’t help their….whatever they were.
Dom leaned close to the phone-base and stage-whispered, “He’s got a girl, mate! He’s been holding out on us!”
“I’m right here, you know.”
“Tell us about her! What does she look like?”
“I’m not going to tell you about her, why do you think I haven’t mentioned her before? Because I don’t want you guys to know,” Ian shook his head. “Can’t believe I even said anything.”
“But what the bloody hell use is a secret girlfriend?” Dom asked, faintly bewildered by the prospect.
“Well,” Orlando began, “I guess he could be ashamed of her.”
Ian’s eyes widened. “No, definitely not. She’s not the kinda girl to be ashamed of,” he said. “It was just a mutual thing. It’s sort of…just private, I guess.”
Dom made a face and Ian just rolled his eyes at him and, finally finding the keys, turned his attention to the phone. “Whatever, we were talking about Evi, remember? You gonna try to tell her how you feel?”
“Um…..” Orlando pretended to think. “That would be a no.”
Both Ian and Dom scoffed and muttered unbelieving words under their breath.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Orlando assured himself more than them. “S’really just the fact that she obviously doesn’t see me that way.”
“Well, that’s the kind of attitude that’ll keep you from actually finding out,” Ian said in a mock-serious tone, tossing his keys from one hand to the other. Tapping Dom on his shoulder, he nodded his head towards the door. “We gotta get going, told the girls we’d be there by 2.”
“I’ll let you guys go,” Orlando said. “I’ll try to book my flight for early in December.”
“Aw, for my birthday?” Dom held his hand to his heart. “How sweet!”
“Make sure to get him diamonds, or he isn’t putting out,” Ian joked.
---
“You’re telling me that you’ve never, ever imagined what he’d be like in bed?” Maggie asked.
With both Emilie and Maggie’s eyes trained on her, like crosshairs of hunters ready to shoot down their prey if it made any sudden movements, Evi found that she couldn’t lie. “Well…”
Maggie gasped dramatically, and Emilie pointed an accusatory finger at her friend. “She’s thought about it! Little Miss We’re-Just-Friends has imagined her little friend in some not-so-platonic scenarios!”
“I never said that!” Evi was as quick to defend herself as the other two were to make sexual innuendo’s about the situation. “You guys are putting words into my mouth.”
“They belong in there!” Maggie pointed out, exhausted with Evi’s denial. She rose her hand abruptly, stopping Emilie from making an ‘among other things’ comment.
“I like Orlando, I do, but right now I don’t know if it’s like that,” Evi tried to explain, sighing at Maggie and Emilie’s identical expressions which clearly showed they didn’t believe a thing she was saying. “He is gorgeous though,” she admitted.
All the girls nodded in agreement. “Those cheekbones of his are amazing,” Maggie said. “I love cheekbones like that,” she added.
“Didn’t he just get out of a relationship, though? I would really hate to be his rebound girl or something.
Emilie straightened up. “You’re admitting you’d want something with him!”
“It was…” Evi searched for the right word and snapped her fingers. “Hypothetical. I thought Dom had mentioned he’d just got out of something pretty bad…if I were to venture into a relationship with him, I wouldn’t want to hurt him or anything.”
Maggie let out a soft sigh and looked at her friend sympathetically. For a moment, Evi thought she’d finally won at least one of them over. But then Maggie grabbed the magazine on the table beside her and held it up, pointing to a small section at the top of the cover. “You really need to read magazines more, hon.”
Peering at the magazine, Evi saw a small thumbnail of Orlando and… “Hey, that’s whats-her-name!”
“It wasn’t just some random relationship,” Maggie explained. “They were pretty serious.”
Emilie snagged the magazine away and hit Maggie over the head with it. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Ow!” Maggie nearly fell out of her seat from the impact. She looked at Emilie, completely bewildered. “Fuck!”
“You don’t need to go telling her that he was in a serious relationship, now she’s not going to want to pursue it!”
Evi shrugged, “Well, I’m not.”
Emilie glared at Maggie, “See what you’ve done!”
“What? I wasn’t gonna let her sit there, refusing to go after him because of a relationship she knew nothing about!” She snatched the magazine back, holding it up threateningly when Emilie leaned forward. “If she’s gonna heal him,” she continued, “then she needs the cold, hard facts.”
“I’m not looking to be his nurse!” Evi protested.
“And,” Emilie butted in, shooting Maggie a look. “And, this is a magazine we’re talking about. Remember the article about Dom loving Madison a little too much on set?”
“Oh, please!” Maggie waved a hand. “That was some National Enquirer knock-off tabloid. God, Emilie, just shush will you? What I’m saying will eventually make sense.”
“Nothing you say makes sense,” Emilie bit back.
Evi raised both her hands, rolling her eyes. “Guys, come on, you only live together, not share blood. Let’s take a break from the verbal hair pulling and biting, shall we?”
Maggie sat back in her seat and folded her arms, “Fine, but she started it.”
“You cheeky sod!” Emilie exclaimed, mouth agape as a smile tugged at the corners. “Just you wait, I’ll get you back for that.”
Evi shook her head and crossed her arms over her stomach, mumbling under her breath. “You guys have been living together for too long.”
The doorbell rang before either Maggie or Emilie could open their mouths to say something, a second later and Dom called out in a sing-song voice, “Anybody hoooome?”
“We’re in here,” Emilie called out before getting whacked upside the head with the magazine by Maggie. Emilie looked at her, angry and confused, until she remembered: What she’d just been hit by was something that Orlando, who they knew Dom told everything (like the good boyfriend he was), did not need to hear about.
Maggie frantically handed the magazine off to Evi, who had no idea what to do with it and tossed it onto Emilie’s lap. Emilie, quick on her feet, immediately sat on top of it.
They all breathed a sigh of relief except for Emilie who was rubbing her head, wincing. When she caught Maggie’s eyes, the taller blonde smirked and mouthed, Karma’s a bitch.
Dom appeared in the doorway first, grinning cheekily as usual and surveying the girls with interest. “Get up to anything good without us? Pillow fight? Wet t-shirt contest? Any video or photographic proof?”
“Actually,” Emilie replied with a grin. “Maggie and I made out while Evi spanked us, but the video camera had no battery life left, sorry.”
Ian took that moment to appear beside Dom, a curious expression on his face. “Who spanked who?”
“No one spanked anyone!” Evi said, exasperated. “Dom, you have corrupted the poor girl way too much.”
“Never enough corruption’s what I always say,” Dom said, settling into a seat next to Emilie.
Ian, without more than a moment’s thought to it, sat next to Maggie. He smiled casually, “Good day so far?”
“Would’ve been better if I hadn’t been stuck with the Twisted Sisters,” she said loudly, shooting Maggie and Emilie pointed looks.
Emilie giggled a little, shifting in her seat, and Dom looked down just in time to see the corner of something glossy. “What have we here?” he reached down but Emilie beat him to it, yelping as she tore it from under her and threw it all the way to the end of couch to Evi.
A small frown appeared on Dom’s face, “What was that for?”
Evi cleared her throat pointedly and immediately got up and went to the nearest trash can, shoving the magazine into it before returning to the couch.
“Ah, I see, sneaking around a porn magazine to enjoy yourselves with, get all riled up before the spanking, yeah? You truly are girls gone wild,” Dom teased, resting his arm along the back of the sofa.
“You truly are a ponce,” Emilie said through gritted teeth, her elbow colliding with Dom’s ribs on the word ponce.
Dom hissed from the pain and Maggie leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Excuse her, she’s really quite violent this afternoon.”
Seeing that none of the girls would be talking about what just happened, Dom looked for a different subject to distract themselves with. He leaned forward and smirked at Ian. “Guess what, girls?”
Ian shook his head and gave Dom a warning look, “Don’t.”
“Ian’s got a secret girlfriend,” Dom looked like he was going to explode from the excitement of for once being able to tell a secret instead of just being told. Maybe this was why he was never given the opportunity.
“No, I don’t, he’s a lying bastard,” Ian said quickly, trying subtly to look in Maggie’s direction and see what she was doing.
“Don’t lie!” Dom demanded, still riding his secret high and ignoring Ian’s glares. “We’ll call Orlando and he’ll tell you, Ian admitted it. S’got a secret girlfriend! Can you believe that?”
Ian slumped in temporary defeat. “Well… I think you just defeated the whole secret part of the equation.”
The girls all looked at Ian with interest, and Maggie raised an eyebrow. “So, who’s this girl you’ve got hidden away and why haven’t we met her?”
For a moment he considered dropping the ball altogether, but then he caught Maggie staring and sucked it up. “Let’s just drop this, okay?”
“No, no, let’s hear about her,” Maggie insisted, clearly enjoying this.
Ian shook his head and stared down at his lap. “She’s pretty shy.”
“Eh, she’s not shy, Ian’s just worried about us embarrassing him,” Dom teased.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it,” Ian conceded.
“Aw, Ian, sweetie, we wouldn’t embarrass you!” Evi smiled at him. “Well, everyone except Dom.”
Emilie nodded in agreement, sitting forward so she could slide a leg underneath herself more comfortably. “You should just tell us girls. We’re the ones that understand stuff so much better. Dom only cares how good the sex is,” she said, getting nods of agreement from everyone.
“Thanks, but no thanks,” Ian declined. “I think I’m gonna keep this one to myself.”
Emilie spun towards Dom, hitting him on the arm. “You should be ashamed of yourself! It’s no wonder no one will trust you with their secrets if you spout them off at every moment.”
“You gonna spank me for being bad then, luv?” he asked with a grin. “In fact, I should be asking Evi that. How about it?”
“No, Dom, no matter how bad you’ve been I will never spank you. Ever.”
---
After Empire Records and a few minutes into When a Stranger Calls, Ian was fed up from the pointed looks he received from everyone. He made up the excuse of refilling his drink, ignoring the halfheartedly whispered teasing ‘Is the movie scaring you too much?’ from Dom as he went into the kitchen.
Growling in frustration with himself and Dom-stupid hobbit with his big mouth-Ian let his forehead collide with the refrigerator door unceremoniously as he filled his cup with water. Even the cool surface did nothing to help all the heat and color rising to his face when he felt the familiar touch between his shoulder blades.
Fuck, even through his shirt he could feel how soft her skin was. But the moment passed fairly quickly, the gentle feeling of the pad of her index finger on his back was quickly replaced by the sharpness of her nail.
“Three guesses as to who’s a worse secret-keeper than Dom?” she whispered in his ear. Despite her nail digging into his back rather painfully, there was more amusement in her voice than venom.
“It slipped,” Ian groaned against the door, not even turning to face her. He’d been fully prepared the moment he told Dom to defend himself like crazy to her, and he wasn’t going to let up. “I didn’t mean to tell him. And it’s not like he knows it’s you.”
Maggie’s finger let up and she spun on her heel so she could sit on the counter, facing Ian. He couldn’t hide his face from her anymore. “You’ve got to give these guys some credit. Eventually they’re going to put two and two together and-”
“Yeah, I know, they’ll figure out we’re sleeping together and the world will end,” Ian rolled his eyes, finally pushing away from the fridge once his cup was full. His tone dripped with sarcasm, “There’d be nothing worse than to not have to carry around a stupid secret all the time.”
“Stupid?” Despite the frustration clear in her eyes, Maggie kept control over herself and her voice remained a hushed whisper. “What a way to get into a girl’s pants, Ian. Call her stupid.”
“You know I wasn’t calling you stupid, I was calling this,” he motioned from him to her. “Stupid. It’s getting ridiculous, sneaking around all the time. We’re not hormone-crazed teenagers for Christ sake.”
Maggie shook her head, overwhelmed by the mood change. She’d walked into the kitchen dominant but was now losing her control with every second. “That wasn’t the deal. We agreed it’d be better this way-”
“We never made a deal,” Ian pointed out before gulping down half of the water in his cup, eyes never leaving hers. “It was some half-assed unspoken agreement that I shouldn’t have let happen.”
“You can’t stand here and tell me you don’t like it this way, at least a little bit,” Maggie slid off the counter and stepped closer to him. “Simple, easy, fun-”
“We haven’t even been on a date yet,” he cut her off quietly, ducking his head when her face softened, like he was almost ashamed at letting the disappointment shine clear in his voice. “This, when it comes down to it, is nothing.”
“It’s not nothing, Ian,” she defended, scoffing at the accusation.
“That’s how it looks, Mags. We don’t go out together, this…this isn’t a relationship,” Ian looked tired, sick almost, with himself more than her. “You know what we are? We’re just fuck-buddies.”
Maggie blinked, swallowed the information and took a step back, wrapping her arms around herself. There was hardly a response to something like that.
“You can’t stand here and tell me that that doesn’t bother you,” Ian shook his head and turned to leave. “At least a little bit.”
“Ian,” she called his name out of desperation, but when he looked at her over his shoulder, her eyes meeting his, she couldn’t figure out what to say.
He moved closer to her all of a sudden but she was glued to the spot. And when he tilted his head just slightly to give her a short but scorching kiss, she was left just as confused.
“Until we figure this all out, until you decide what you want,” Ian sighed, warm breath across her cheek, sending chills down her spine. “This is over.”
Maggie squeezed her eyes shut and let the words soak in as Ian left without another word.
TBC…
Authors: CJ [vylentcrymz], Emilie [emilierevan], Jen [savvy_elf] and Stacy [adayindreamland].
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Dominic Monaghan/Emilie de Ravin, Ian Somerhalder/Maggie Grace, Orlando Bloom/Evangeline Lilly
Summary: Love. Friendship. Growth. Sex. Change. Drama. But mostly just sex. Sure, we have a plot… somewhere around here (now where did I put that thing?), but when broken down into its simplest form, Epico = SEX!
Disclaimer: We don't own these people. They're real, sure, but none of these events have or ever will transpire. No offense is meant and we're making no profit from this. Title taken from the song A Sorta Fairytale by Tori Amos.
Authors’ Notes: We all really hope you enjoy reading Epico (fyi, that’s Spanish for epic, and if you say it out loud, you absolutely must be wearing a sombrero). We’ve been working on this fic for ages and it’s really become our baby - our alcoholic, sex-addicted, constantly horny, and occasionally violent baby whom we love with every bit of our hearts and souls. We realize that no one will be able to give our baby the same unconditional love we have showered upon it, but our hope is that Epico will be able to bring a smile to your face and warm the cockles of your heart. Or it might rot your brain, but that’s the risk you take when dealing with Epico.
Please remember: Feedback is to us as sex is to Magsian, Domilie, and Orlilly. As in, very important, and something that needs to be done 24/7.
A/N 2: I apologize for this taking so long. RL sucks and there was a bit of a hassle with a chapter that, unfortunately, will not be posted. LOL!
Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Retail therapy. There was nothing like it. Whether it was a hangover or a lingering fight with a significant other, it served a great way to spend time instead of hiding under the comforter at home moping.
For Emilie the reason why Evi took her to the mall and they were spending the day in changing rooms was the latter. One of the biggest problems with getting married to Josh was the daunting prospect of consolidating assets. Because included in that category was where they’d live. Josh had his life in L.A and Emilie had hers in Hawaii. They weren’t going to be married and still spend 4 days of the week apart every week.
And each time the topic came up, it never ended well. Emilie would be driving off the set after a 12-hour workload with exhaustion, sweat and dirt weighing her down and take out her frustration on him. Or Josh would say something he didn’t mean which he’d apologize for after an hour of arguing and two with them ignoring each other’s calls.
It was those kind of stressful incidents that made Josh proposing the idea of eloping even more alluring. Even though Emilie never needed a big wedding, she’d always hated the idea of going to Vegas and getting married in front of an Elvis look-a-like; so the fact that she was actually considering it…
Her stomach growled suddenly, proving a good distraction for the moment. Less hard thinking, more food and shopping.
“I’m hungry,” Emilie announced, loudly enough for Evi to hear her from the next room over.
“We ate like ten minutes ago!”
“A very questionable salad in the food court,” Emilie reminded her. “My stomach’s growling.”
She could hear Evi scoff in the dressing room beside hers, “Why is that not surprising?”
“Why are you making me feel guilty for being hungry?”
“I’m not try-” Evi’s voice cut off and the wall between them shook. “Fuck!”
“What happened?"
“I lost my balance.”
Emilie snorted. “You’re as bad as Dom, you know.”
“Speaking of Dom, how’re things going with you guys?”
Emilie sighed, “You ask me that every chance you get, I’ve noticed.”
A few moments of silence followed until finally, as casually as her loss of balance, Evi continued, “Well…tell me.”
“Does someone have a crush on a certain hobbit?” Emilie asked, even if the prospect was frightening.
Evi seemed to agree, shouting immediately: “BLASPHEMY!”
“I was just kidding, but good to know what you think of him,” Emilie put her jeans back on and slipped into her flip flops. “I’m going to go find a snack, you going to be here long or should I just wait for you?”
“I still have a few more outfits to go through,” Evi poked her head over the edge. “Go ahead without me.”
Emilie screamed, “What the hell, what if I was naked?”
“Then I’d compliment you on your shapely figure, ask if you need help getting into your clothes. And then we’d both realize we were in one of Dom’s fantasies.”
“Shapely?” Emilie’s brow furrowed and she pouted. “Pick a better word.”
“Seriously, though, go without me, I’ll still be here when you get back.” Evi’s mouth fell open and she gasped. “Is that my purse?!”
“Oops,” Emilie feigned apologies. “Must’ve accidentally snagged it when you weren’t looking.”
Rolling her eyes, Evi let it go, getting back down on the floor, out of Emilie’s sight. “Go ahead, my treat. You paid for breakfast.”
“Mmm, bacon and eggs with a nice, high stack of pancakes,” Emilie practically drooled. “Screw exercise and staying fit, I just wanna live in a house made out of food.”
“Dom? I swear that’s you, take off your Emilie disguise.”
“Funny,” Emilie dryly called, slipping out of her room.
Vibrations against her side startled her but she quickly realized it was Evi’s phone. Digging it out, she flipped it open. “Hello, Evangeline Lilly’s assistant speaking.”
Orlando’s voice was in her ear, “Oh, hello. Is Evangeline there?”
"She's not here at present," Emilie managed to say without giggling.
"Oh well... could I, maybe, leave a message? Or I could hold on! Will she be long?"
"I'm sorry, she might be awhile. She's occupied." Putting on her best professional voice, and biting her tongue for a moment while she composed herself, she kept her tone as even as she could. "She's having a poo poo."
Orlando's eyes widened and he choked. "Wh-what?!"
"It's just a normal bodily function, Mr. Bloom. Nothing to get so immature about." Emilie bit the side of her hand to stifle her laughter and shook her head.
"Wait, Mr. Bloom? How did you know who it was?"
She cursed silently to herself and bit her lower lip. "I watch movies, I recognized your voice."
Orlando thought about it for a moment before it hit him, putting together the stifled giggle and Australian accent. “Emilie?”
“I prefer Ms. de Ravin, thank you very much,” Emilie said firmly into the phone, trying to save face.
“She’s not actually going poo poo, is she?” Orlando ran a hand over his face, not believing that he actually just used that term.
Emilie stepped outside the dressing room, out of earshot from Evi. “No, she isn’t. But wouldn’t that be awkward, you’d wonder to yourself if she washed her hands before getting on the phone.”
Orlando laughed, “Probably, so I guess it’s good that she’s not, yeah?”
“So, why are you calling?” Emilie made her way out of the store and into the rest of the mall. “I mean, I know why you are, but I’ll give you the chance to come up with something creative.”
“I…have no idea what you’re talking about,” Orlando tried to sound like he really didn't, even when his voice jumped into his throat. “Just calling to say hi.”
Emilie bounced up and down, nose crinkling. “Pathetic! Come up with something better.”
“You’re friendly on the phone.”
“My conversational skills are quite impressive, thank you.”
“You sound like Dom more and more every time I talk to you,” Orlando observed with a small smile.
Emilie rolled her eyes, not even bothering to go there while absently tracing the ring with her thumb. “You like Evi.”
Orlando practically choked, reacting worse than when he thought Evi was going poo poo. “You’re bloody nuts, is what you are-is…is what you are.”
“Um…” Emilie made a face. “Convincing.”
He started to make an argument for his cause but he could easily imagine the expression Emilie’s face and gave up halfway, sighing pathetically. “Am I that obvious?”
“Bunnies humping each other on Animal Planet are miles ahead of you when it comes to subtlety,” Emilie dryly explained.
“These conversations of ours are always educational.”
“What can I say?” Emilie shrugged. “I’m gifted.”
“Does Evangeline know…?” Orlando asked, his desperation clear. “I wouldn’t want her to think I’m some lovesick guy-”
"Which you are."
“When really, I’d just…” Orlando squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to find the right words. “I…it’s hard to explain.”
Emilie seemed more than willing to fill in the blanks, not really caring how awkward Orlando felt. Better to brush over all of that and get to the point instead of hemming and hawing. “You can’t stop thinking about her, of course. She’s charmed you. You’re a smitten kitten and she’s the object of your affection. You’re the pirate and she’s your wench-”
“Alright, alright!” his cheeks were burning bright red by the time he finally stopped her.
“The list is a long one, trust me,” Emilie made her way to a vending machine and perused the selection. “You don’t want me to go on?”
“No, I think you’ve put enough words into it.”
After a moment: “Do you want me to go back and give her the phone so you can not tell her how much you like her?”
“I don’t think so, not today,” he said quietly. “I have to call Dom anyways.”
“He’s quite popular today.”
“I’m actually planning on coming over there sometime soon,” Orlando announced, but then quickly added: “Um, and I’d rather you not tell too many people-”
Emilie smirked, “And by that you mean Evi?”
Orlando laughed, “Yeah, I’d…it’d be nice to surprise her. It’s no big deal, I-”
“No worries, I won’t mention it at all,” Emilie assured him. “I’ll probably forget about it in a few minutes anyways.”
“Never have I been happier to hear that you’ll forget everything I’ve said.”
“Well, not everything,” Emilie slipped in a dollar bill and chose a bag of chips and pack of gum. Not exactly the healthiest meal but it’d tide her over until they got back to her and Maggie’s place for Movie Night. “Blackmail is useful.”
Orlando scoffed, but there was hardly any sting behind his words. “Evil!”
“Bah, you know you love it,” Emilie joked, before letting out a small shriek. Before Orlando could panic, she laughed into the receiver. “It’s just Evi, she decided to be mean and scare me.”
“Who’s that?” Orlando heard Evi’s muffled voice in his ear and shut his eyes, torn between being too humiliated to talk to her and wanting nothing more than to have a conversation-any kind-and he hated it.
“Your stalker,” Emilie said in a faux-alarmed voice before giggling. “No, it’s Josh. My phone died so I’m using yours. Don’t worry, I’ll pay you back the two dollars these minutes’ll cost.”
A long minute passed with Orlando dreading that Evi didn’t believe it, until finally Emilie’s voice came back sound and clear. “Hey, sorry about that.”
“No problem, I’ll…” he ran a hand through his hair and breathed out in relief. “Goodbye, Emilie.”
“Goodbye, snookums.”
---
Maggie looked up from her script to see Emilie and Evi enter the room, greeting them with a small wave. “Did you guys empty your checking accounts?”
“Down to the last penny,” Evi joked, dropping her two bags on the counter. She arched over the surface to try and see what Maggie was reading. “Sorry you couldn’t come, how was filming?”
“Can’t tell, you’ll have to wait to see when the episode airs,” she teased, pressing the script close to her so Evi couldn’t see. “And you should be sorry. With the day I had? I had to come here first to take a long shower before dropping by the video store.”
Emilie looked over her shoulder briefly as she went about making herself some tea, “What movies did you get?”
“Empire Records, The God’s Must Be Crazy and When a Stranger Calls.”
Smiling, Emilie gave an approving nod. “Diverse.”
“The God’s Must Be Crazy?” Evi grabbed the DVD case and studied it.
“You’ve never seen it?” Maggie could hardly contain her surprise. She laughed, “You’re going to love it.”
“No, she’s going to love When a Stranger Calls,” Emilie’s eyes twinkled mischievously, making her way into the living room and kicking off her shoes. Evi and Maggie followed her in as well, just as exhausted. “God, I need to get off my feet.”
Evi sunk into the couch and groaned, massaging the soles of her own feet. It took her a moment to realize that both Maggie and Emilie were shooting each other pointed looks, glancing Evi’s way every moment or so like they were prodding each other to talk about whatever they had on their minds.
“So,” Emilie finally began, curling her leg under her as she settled on the sofa and cradled her cup of tea. “You and Orlando seem to be getting on quite well at the moment.”
Suspicion as to what they were up to melted away immediately. Evi looked down at her lap and smiled, a faint blush creeping up her neck. “He’s very nice. We have a lot more in common than I expected we would,” she said happily, playing with her fingers.
“And?” prodded Maggie, leaning forward in her chair as she placed her own mug of coffee by her side. “Are we looking at a possible romance?”
“Maggie! I’ve barely known him that long, I’m not going to jump into a relationship,” Evi said with a shocked laugh.
“You don’t have to jump into a relationship, per se.” Emilie shrugged and quietly, behind the rim of her teacup, finished: “Just into bed.”
Maggie nearly choked on her drink as Evi reached over and slapped Emilie hard across the arm.
“What’s wrong with you guys?” Evi shook her head, incredulous as Maggie and Emilie reached out and gave each other high-fives.
“Nothing, nothing, we’re just kidding,” Maggie explained after laughing for a good two minutes. “It’s pretty hard for us to have a serious conversation about how you and Orlando are only friends when the sexual tension between you is so thick I could choke on it.”
“Is everything about sex with you two?” Evi asked, raising her hand as the words left her mouth. “No, wait, I already know the answer to that.”
Emilie nodded, a grin playing on her lips. “It’s a big, hard, dirty yes,” she agreed.
Evi rolled her eyes and leaned back into her seat. “I will not be dating, or sleeping with, Orlando anytime soon. I really doubt he feels anything more than platonic towards me, anyways.”
---
Dom, leaning against the counter in his and Ian’s kitchen, spoke loudly to Orlando over the speakerphone. “So, you wanna shag Evi then?”
“Yes,” Orlando murmured after a moment’s hesitation, giving a depressed sigh. “But it’s both too soon, and too Just Friends. I hate Just Friends.”
“Of course, any man in his right mind would hate the Just Friends area,” Dom laughed. “Because when you’re Just Friends you’re Just Alone in bed at night.”
Orlando feigned laughter but the sarcasm was clear enough for the Mancunian. “S’not funny.”
“Well, I’m entitled to a bit of teasing, yeah? You were the one daft enough to keep things….what’s the word? Platonic.”
Ian rolled his eyes pointedly as he walked into the room, putting his jacket on. “So Dom, how’re things going with you and Emilie?”
Dom shifted more than a little uncomfortably, “Good point, mate.”
“Well, what ‘bout you?” Orlando called over the line. “Any girls on the horizon for you, Ian?”
“No way. I’m much more content to watch you guys mess up your love-lives, and then learn from your mistakes,” he said, laughing. “You both just need to get off your asses and do something instead of dancing around all the time.”
“Well, well, if it isn’t Dr. Love. You sure you haven’t got a bird stashed away somewhere? You’re way too…happy,” Dom commented.
Ian shook his head and concentrated on finding his keys. “It’s possible to be happy and not have a girlfriend. Shocking but true,” he said dryly.
“So you’re gay then?” Orlando questioned, and when he heard Ian predictably scoff, he chuckled. “What? Just covering all the bases.”
Taking in a deep breath but never tearing his eyes away from the counter, Ian let himself admit, “So what if I’m with someone, does it matter?”
Dom’s eyebrows rose and Ian was sure Orlando had the same reaction all the way in the Caribbean.
Ian shrugged, guessing that Maggie would kill him if she ever knew he was even implying they had a relationship. He pushed away the annoyance at that, the image of her all red in the face telling him that everybody knowing about them wouldn’t help their….whatever they were.
Dom leaned close to the phone-base and stage-whispered, “He’s got a girl, mate! He’s been holding out on us!”
“I’m right here, you know.”
“Tell us about her! What does she look like?”
“I’m not going to tell you about her, why do you think I haven’t mentioned her before? Because I don’t want you guys to know,” Ian shook his head. “Can’t believe I even said anything.”
“But what the bloody hell use is a secret girlfriend?” Dom asked, faintly bewildered by the prospect.
“Well,” Orlando began, “I guess he could be ashamed of her.”
Ian’s eyes widened. “No, definitely not. She’s not the kinda girl to be ashamed of,” he said. “It was just a mutual thing. It’s sort of…just private, I guess.”
Dom made a face and Ian just rolled his eyes at him and, finally finding the keys, turned his attention to the phone. “Whatever, we were talking about Evi, remember? You gonna try to tell her how you feel?”
“Um…..” Orlando pretended to think. “That would be a no.”
Both Ian and Dom scoffed and muttered unbelieving words under their breath.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Orlando assured himself more than them. “S’really just the fact that she obviously doesn’t see me that way.”
“Well, that’s the kind of attitude that’ll keep you from actually finding out,” Ian said in a mock-serious tone, tossing his keys from one hand to the other. Tapping Dom on his shoulder, he nodded his head towards the door. “We gotta get going, told the girls we’d be there by 2.”
“I’ll let you guys go,” Orlando said. “I’ll try to book my flight for early in December.”
“Aw, for my birthday?” Dom held his hand to his heart. “How sweet!”
“Make sure to get him diamonds, or he isn’t putting out,” Ian joked.
---
“You’re telling me that you’ve never, ever imagined what he’d be like in bed?” Maggie asked.
With both Emilie and Maggie’s eyes trained on her, like crosshairs of hunters ready to shoot down their prey if it made any sudden movements, Evi found that she couldn’t lie. “Well…”
Maggie gasped dramatically, and Emilie pointed an accusatory finger at her friend. “She’s thought about it! Little Miss We’re-Just-Friends has imagined her little friend in some not-so-platonic scenarios!”
“I never said that!” Evi was as quick to defend herself as the other two were to make sexual innuendo’s about the situation. “You guys are putting words into my mouth.”
“They belong in there!” Maggie pointed out, exhausted with Evi’s denial. She rose her hand abruptly, stopping Emilie from making an ‘among other things’ comment.
“I like Orlando, I do, but right now I don’t know if it’s like that,” Evi tried to explain, sighing at Maggie and Emilie’s identical expressions which clearly showed they didn’t believe a thing she was saying. “He is gorgeous though,” she admitted.
All the girls nodded in agreement. “Those cheekbones of his are amazing,” Maggie said. “I love cheekbones like that,” she added.
“Didn’t he just get out of a relationship, though? I would really hate to be his rebound girl or something.
Emilie straightened up. “You’re admitting you’d want something with him!”
“It was…” Evi searched for the right word and snapped her fingers. “Hypothetical. I thought Dom had mentioned he’d just got out of something pretty bad…if I were to venture into a relationship with him, I wouldn’t want to hurt him or anything.”
Maggie let out a soft sigh and looked at her friend sympathetically. For a moment, Evi thought she’d finally won at least one of them over. But then Maggie grabbed the magazine on the table beside her and held it up, pointing to a small section at the top of the cover. “You really need to read magazines more, hon.”
Peering at the magazine, Evi saw a small thumbnail of Orlando and… “Hey, that’s whats-her-name!”
“It wasn’t just some random relationship,” Maggie explained. “They were pretty serious.”
Emilie snagged the magazine away and hit Maggie over the head with it. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Ow!” Maggie nearly fell out of her seat from the impact. She looked at Emilie, completely bewildered. “Fuck!”
“You don’t need to go telling her that he was in a serious relationship, now she’s not going to want to pursue it!”
Evi shrugged, “Well, I’m not.”
Emilie glared at Maggie, “See what you’ve done!”
“What? I wasn’t gonna let her sit there, refusing to go after him because of a relationship she knew nothing about!” She snatched the magazine back, holding it up threateningly when Emilie leaned forward. “If she’s gonna heal him,” she continued, “then she needs the cold, hard facts.”
“I’m not looking to be his nurse!” Evi protested.
“And,” Emilie butted in, shooting Maggie a look. “And, this is a magazine we’re talking about. Remember the article about Dom loving Madison a little too much on set?”
“Oh, please!” Maggie waved a hand. “That was some National Enquirer knock-off tabloid. God, Emilie, just shush will you? What I’m saying will eventually make sense.”
“Nothing you say makes sense,” Emilie bit back.
Evi raised both her hands, rolling her eyes. “Guys, come on, you only live together, not share blood. Let’s take a break from the verbal hair pulling and biting, shall we?”
Maggie sat back in her seat and folded her arms, “Fine, but she started it.”
“You cheeky sod!” Emilie exclaimed, mouth agape as a smile tugged at the corners. “Just you wait, I’ll get you back for that.”
Evi shook her head and crossed her arms over her stomach, mumbling under her breath. “You guys have been living together for too long.”
The doorbell rang before either Maggie or Emilie could open their mouths to say something, a second later and Dom called out in a sing-song voice, “Anybody hoooome?”
“We’re in here,” Emilie called out before getting whacked upside the head with the magazine by Maggie. Emilie looked at her, angry and confused, until she remembered: What she’d just been hit by was something that Orlando, who they knew Dom told everything (like the good boyfriend he was), did not need to hear about.
Maggie frantically handed the magazine off to Evi, who had no idea what to do with it and tossed it onto Emilie’s lap. Emilie, quick on her feet, immediately sat on top of it.
They all breathed a sigh of relief except for Emilie who was rubbing her head, wincing. When she caught Maggie’s eyes, the taller blonde smirked and mouthed, Karma’s a bitch.
Dom appeared in the doorway first, grinning cheekily as usual and surveying the girls with interest. “Get up to anything good without us? Pillow fight? Wet t-shirt contest? Any video or photographic proof?”
“Actually,” Emilie replied with a grin. “Maggie and I made out while Evi spanked us, but the video camera had no battery life left, sorry.”
Ian took that moment to appear beside Dom, a curious expression on his face. “Who spanked who?”
“No one spanked anyone!” Evi said, exasperated. “Dom, you have corrupted the poor girl way too much.”
“Never enough corruption’s what I always say,” Dom said, settling into a seat next to Emilie.
Ian, without more than a moment’s thought to it, sat next to Maggie. He smiled casually, “Good day so far?”
“Would’ve been better if I hadn’t been stuck with the Twisted Sisters,” she said loudly, shooting Maggie and Emilie pointed looks.
Emilie giggled a little, shifting in her seat, and Dom looked down just in time to see the corner of something glossy. “What have we here?” he reached down but Emilie beat him to it, yelping as she tore it from under her and threw it all the way to the end of couch to Evi.
A small frown appeared on Dom’s face, “What was that for?”
Evi cleared her throat pointedly and immediately got up and went to the nearest trash can, shoving the magazine into it before returning to the couch.
“Ah, I see, sneaking around a porn magazine to enjoy yourselves with, get all riled up before the spanking, yeah? You truly are girls gone wild,” Dom teased, resting his arm along the back of the sofa.
“You truly are a ponce,” Emilie said through gritted teeth, her elbow colliding with Dom’s ribs on the word ponce.
Dom hissed from the pain and Maggie leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Excuse her, she’s really quite violent this afternoon.”
Seeing that none of the girls would be talking about what just happened, Dom looked for a different subject to distract themselves with. He leaned forward and smirked at Ian. “Guess what, girls?”
Ian shook his head and gave Dom a warning look, “Don’t.”
“Ian’s got a secret girlfriend,” Dom looked like he was going to explode from the excitement of for once being able to tell a secret instead of just being told. Maybe this was why he was never given the opportunity.
“No, I don’t, he’s a lying bastard,” Ian said quickly, trying subtly to look in Maggie’s direction and see what she was doing.
“Don’t lie!” Dom demanded, still riding his secret high and ignoring Ian’s glares. “We’ll call Orlando and he’ll tell you, Ian admitted it. S’got a secret girlfriend! Can you believe that?”
Ian slumped in temporary defeat. “Well… I think you just defeated the whole secret part of the equation.”
The girls all looked at Ian with interest, and Maggie raised an eyebrow. “So, who’s this girl you’ve got hidden away and why haven’t we met her?”
For a moment he considered dropping the ball altogether, but then he caught Maggie staring and sucked it up. “Let’s just drop this, okay?”
“No, no, let’s hear about her,” Maggie insisted, clearly enjoying this.
Ian shook his head and stared down at his lap. “She’s pretty shy.”
“Eh, she’s not shy, Ian’s just worried about us embarrassing him,” Dom teased.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it,” Ian conceded.
“Aw, Ian, sweetie, we wouldn’t embarrass you!” Evi smiled at him. “Well, everyone except Dom.”
Emilie nodded in agreement, sitting forward so she could slide a leg underneath herself more comfortably. “You should just tell us girls. We’re the ones that understand stuff so much better. Dom only cares how good the sex is,” she said, getting nods of agreement from everyone.
“Thanks, but no thanks,” Ian declined. “I think I’m gonna keep this one to myself.”
Emilie spun towards Dom, hitting him on the arm. “You should be ashamed of yourself! It’s no wonder no one will trust you with their secrets if you spout them off at every moment.”
“You gonna spank me for being bad then, luv?” he asked with a grin. “In fact, I should be asking Evi that. How about it?”
“No, Dom, no matter how bad you’ve been I will never spank you. Ever.”
---
After Empire Records and a few minutes into When a Stranger Calls, Ian was fed up from the pointed looks he received from everyone. He made up the excuse of refilling his drink, ignoring the halfheartedly whispered teasing ‘Is the movie scaring you too much?’ from Dom as he went into the kitchen.
Growling in frustration with himself and Dom-stupid hobbit with his big mouth-Ian let his forehead collide with the refrigerator door unceremoniously as he filled his cup with water. Even the cool surface did nothing to help all the heat and color rising to his face when he felt the familiar touch between his shoulder blades.
Fuck, even through his shirt he could feel how soft her skin was. But the moment passed fairly quickly, the gentle feeling of the pad of her index finger on his back was quickly replaced by the sharpness of her nail.
“Three guesses as to who’s a worse secret-keeper than Dom?” she whispered in his ear. Despite her nail digging into his back rather painfully, there was more amusement in her voice than venom.
“It slipped,” Ian groaned against the door, not even turning to face her. He’d been fully prepared the moment he told Dom to defend himself like crazy to her, and he wasn’t going to let up. “I didn’t mean to tell him. And it’s not like he knows it’s you.”
Maggie’s finger let up and she spun on her heel so she could sit on the counter, facing Ian. He couldn’t hide his face from her anymore. “You’ve got to give these guys some credit. Eventually they’re going to put two and two together and-”
“Yeah, I know, they’ll figure out we’re sleeping together and the world will end,” Ian rolled his eyes, finally pushing away from the fridge once his cup was full. His tone dripped with sarcasm, “There’d be nothing worse than to not have to carry around a stupid secret all the time.”
“Stupid?” Despite the frustration clear in her eyes, Maggie kept control over herself and her voice remained a hushed whisper. “What a way to get into a girl’s pants, Ian. Call her stupid.”
“You know I wasn’t calling you stupid, I was calling this,” he motioned from him to her. “Stupid. It’s getting ridiculous, sneaking around all the time. We’re not hormone-crazed teenagers for Christ sake.”
Maggie shook her head, overwhelmed by the mood change. She’d walked into the kitchen dominant but was now losing her control with every second. “That wasn’t the deal. We agreed it’d be better this way-”
“We never made a deal,” Ian pointed out before gulping down half of the water in his cup, eyes never leaving hers. “It was some half-assed unspoken agreement that I shouldn’t have let happen.”
“You can’t stand here and tell me you don’t like it this way, at least a little bit,” Maggie slid off the counter and stepped closer to him. “Simple, easy, fun-”
“We haven’t even been on a date yet,” he cut her off quietly, ducking his head when her face softened, like he was almost ashamed at letting the disappointment shine clear in his voice. “This, when it comes down to it, is nothing.”
“It’s not nothing, Ian,” she defended, scoffing at the accusation.
“That’s how it looks, Mags. We don’t go out together, this…this isn’t a relationship,” Ian looked tired, sick almost, with himself more than her. “You know what we are? We’re just fuck-buddies.”
Maggie blinked, swallowed the information and took a step back, wrapping her arms around herself. There was hardly a response to something like that.
“You can’t stand here and tell me that that doesn’t bother you,” Ian shook his head and turned to leave. “At least a little bit.”
“Ian,” she called his name out of desperation, but when he looked at her over his shoulder, her eyes meeting his, she couldn’t figure out what to say.
He moved closer to her all of a sudden but she was glued to the spot. And when he tilted his head just slightly to give her a short but scorching kiss, she was left just as confused.
“Until we figure this all out, until you decide what you want,” Ian sighed, warm breath across her cheek, sending chills down her spine. “This is over.”
Maggie squeezed her eyes shut and let the words soak in as Ian left without another word.
TBC…