hello stockholm, we meet again
coming up: the last of my eurotrip, and why space cakes are a Very Bad Idea
but first, a meme!
Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first ( Read more... )
but first, a meme!
Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first ( Read more... )
soooo this is sort of my homage to pinocchio, hahaha. i hate that movie SO MUCH but the theme of it has stuck with me, so the basic idea when i started, apart from making sure this lived up to the original story, was the idea of david just wanting to be a real boy. ANYWAY. on with the commentary!
And it shouldn't be -- you never meant for it to go this far. "David--"
"No," he says. "Tell me. I'm not what? Not good enough? Real enough? Him enough?"
When you falter, it's all the answer he needs.
"Dang it," he says, and you clench your jaw. "Sorry, I don't -- oh my gosh, this is awkward."
i really enjoy this bit of dialogue, haha, and this bit of the fic is the bit that pretty much wrote itself. i didn't have to think too much about it; david is hurt and lashing out and pushing for a reaction he knows he doesn't want, but it's what he figures he has coming, after doing something as stupid as developing feelings for someone who doesn't even really want him.
"David," you grit out.
"Sorry," he says, embarrassed but smiling. "Just - I'm always saying stuff like that, and, like, rambling a lot, but I don't usually--"
"You're his clone," you snarl. "You're just here to help him deal with the fucking media circus! And you should stick to that fucking job, because you're never going to be--"
this line feels a little bit too obvious, even when i read it back now, but i needed something to clearly outline what was going on and how the situation had come about at all (and even then i might not have succeeded since some people were still confused about the clone!) so yes.
You can't make yourself say it. David's mouth is twisted again, a hard slant you've never seen on Archie; you swallow and look away.
"Him?" David finishes for you. "I'm never going to be him but I'm fucking adequate for this, right?" He gestures at the room, the scattered papers on your desk, the crumpled bedsheets, and takes a step towards you. "David Cook, perfectionist extraordinaire, of course you need your fucking target practice, can't have you fucking it up when you finally get to--"
it's all just words and white noise to david at this point, all a welcome distraction from the fact that cook looks so lost and helpless and guilty, from the fact that cook isn't actually denying any of it. david has no doubt it's going to happen exactly as he's describing it, either, because why the hell would archie say no to cook, why would anyone say no to cook, once cook works up the nerve to actually fucking say something?
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