thing #5: 一支独秀败给你
the taiwanese entertainment circle (aka how to spend an entire day on youtube).
seriously, you guys, i have the most passionate love/hate affair with that industry, idek. because taiwanese variety shows? and, like, i don't know, i guess you'd call them interview shows? so funny, i cannot even--gah, the taiwanese are like nothing i have ever SEEN. and you know how much i love my tv. they're constantly on the move, juggling fifty billion things, and, like, in hollywood jumping from one medium to another is potential suicide, but in taiwan? the market moves so quickly that not being everywhere at once means your career is probably gone. you're never just an actor, you're an actor/singer/entertainer/stand-up comedian/dancer all in one. and it is probably a case of jack of all trades, master of none, because you're never going to see any of those people turn out a performance, like, worthy of a golden globe - or any award, for that matter - but nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh. DOESN'T EVEN MATTER.
because once in a while someone TOTALLY AWESOME comes along, with the talent of, like, IDEK, OKAY, BUT IT IS SOMETHING REALLY REALLY BIG. and i am the HUGEST fan of covers, EVER, so when people do covers i get all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN WHEN THEY DO THEM LIKE THIS: a rappy, hip-hop WHATEVER and turn it into THE MOST FUCKING AWESOME THING IN LIFE (5:35), OMG. SERIOUSLY. HOW IS ONE PERSON SO HUGELY TALENTED? and then he does it AGAIN at 8:50, and continues into THIS PART, FREAKING, LIKE, MEDLEY-STYLE, AND HE BARELY EVEN NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT IT, and then the BEATBOXING AT 6:40, OMG, AND he is FUCKING SINGAPOREAN, AND THEN SHOW'S FACE IS JUST, LIKE, THE ICING ON THE WEDDING CAKE, OKAY.
(oh! OH! AND SPEAKING OF WEDDINGS! omg, this and this TOTALLY MADE ME CRY, because! 8 DIFFERENT OUTFITS. PER PERSON. AND FUCKING GLASS SLIPPERS ALA CINDERELLA, OKAY. IT IS MY FUCKING WEDDING FAIRYTALE, FOR SRS. AND THEN THE PHOTOSHOOT WITH THE BUNCH OF BALLOONS THAT COST LIKE $2 MILLION NTD, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. someone buy me a taiwanese husband for christmas, okay? i would not say no to the boy in my dp, which i have tagged 'laogong', and which may or may not mean 'husband' in chinese. ahem.)
but, okay, like, jj? i have loved him for a while now, and he is just, he gets better and better and better, like vintage wine or something, OMG. i don't know how he does it but he is so ADORABLE and, ugh. maybe i don't love his music now as much as i did before (because hello! jiang nan! dou jiang you tiao! mu nai yi! ♥) but he is so much more relaxed now. he jokes! he giggles! he MAKES FUNNIES! HE HOLDS HIS OWN EVEN AGAINST THE OTHER EXPERIENCED ENTERTAINERS WITH ALL THEIR TAIWAN HUMOR! <3333333333333333
but back to how talented he is. i love when he does songs, like, anyone's songs. especially if they're not his own because he always does them AWESOME. like, okay, yuan lai is one of the songs he's done that i've loved for all time, and when he redoes it here i get all tingly and stuff. and then he does zhu fu here (1:05) and, okay, this makes me laugh NO END, because i love jacky wu to death, he's hilarious, and the NEW LYRICS. (ELLA HEBE SELINA! THE LADIES' SMELLING LIKE SEAFOOD! AHAHAHAHA *DIES*) and i love that people are, like, salivating all over him trying to explain their love. *swoons* and then some little kid challenges him to a face off and it is AMAAAZING. and the little thumbs-up jj gives the kid at the end, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS HIM SO CLEARLY BEAT. UGH, JJ. :-******
and then, okay, he did this duet with ah-sa, and the video is just so, SO adorable, nnnnngh. i loved that people were all, like, it's like you're going back to your roots with the simple melodies and the innocent, puppy-dog love and you are AWESOME. but it's not even just him, okay, because most of the awesome songs/music videos in taiwan are all duets. and the song may not even be awesome but the chemistry might be, or like, the videos are. idk, I LOVE TAIWANESE MUSIC VIDEOS SO MUCH, like, a billion times more than i ever do the english ones, because they always have storylines and just, they're SO GOOD. it may not even be the story, sometimes, it could be the chemistry or the setting or the concept or whatever. but they're always, like, they make you FEEL something, sad or happy or angry or amused.
like, okay, qian li zhi wai was probably one of my favourite songs the year it came out. and wu ding is such genius, and so romantic. i love a good love song. and then alan luo and xiao s in this one? omg, i love that the two of them are all, whatever, they just look at each other and it's like the screen heats up. and the whole IDEA OF IT. SO PERFECT. with the lipstick and the semi-cheating and the STILL GOING HOME TOGETHER IN THE MORNING. <3333333333333 i think this is when i may have first decided show was kind of gorgeous. and then he went and did this video with rainie yang, and like, uggggggggh, show. idek, okay, but it's so sad and wistful and i LOVE IT SO MUCH. and then him and elva working on bai gei ni, which is just so CHEEKY AND PLAYFUL AND HAPPY and i LOVE the push-and-pull dynamic of it, i love how they play with the idea of 'men are from mars and women are from venus' and the mini tango at the end is so brilliant, omg. his smile is so SUNNY, it's like, i don't know, but i love it. i love him. and then he turns around and does the shadow dance, which is lewd and kind of disturbingly hot, especially by taiwan's standards, and nnnnnnngh. i love that he is the michael jackson of taiwan kind of a lot.
and then he makes the most ridiculous tv series, except for how they are also totally awesome, like hot shot and corner with love (and how amused am i by the english subs? idk, that people would do so much work for these series always catches me off guard). and i kind of love the leading lady a lot, especially in mars, where she acts opposite one of my favourite taiwanese actors ever. (zai, ilu.) and he's also in silence, which, idk, i have a soft spot for sign language. and also for hurt!leading men, which might explain my hurt!dean kink. ack. and while i'm at it, i should also mention that wang zi bian qing wa and fated to love you are the best things to happen to tv since sushi. because ming dao - and thus, by extension, anyone who looks like him - is hot like burning and ridiculously good at what he does.
and then when they do the PROMO for their shows it's a whole 'nother ball game altogether and oh my gosh, i said this already but TAIWANESE VARIETY SHOWS ARE LOVE. they are EVERYTHING that is awesome about this industry, FOR SRS. like, okay, kang xi lai le makes me laugh FOREVER, not gonna lie, and they are just so persistent and nosy and everything respectful but probing journalists should be and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. and then they play stupid games like this and THIS (AND HOMG THEY ARE CRAZY BRAVE, OR JUST CRAZY, I DON'T KNOW WHICH) and then there is THIS! THIS! KISSING! ON A GAME SHOW! WHICH I AM ALL FOR, ALWAYS, and omg mengzhe is so adorable ♥. and then he goes and is all brilliant on the english-taiwanese guessing game thing, which, ugh, idk, i love when they don't suck at english. AND THEN! guo guang makes my boyband CROSS-DRESS (OMG THE MOUSTACHE *DIES*), and then MAKES MY OTHER BOYBAND KISS, AND THEY LOOK SO HORRIFIED IT KILLS ME. OMG WHY DO THEY NOT DO THIS IN AMERICA? IT IS GENIUS, AND ALSO AWESOME, AND ALSO GENIUS.
but yes. see, long story short (HAHAHAHAhahahaha, right), i was pretty sure yesterday was going to be a wash, because i had to miss out on what i'm pretty sure was probably the best round of guitar hero ever, but then i kept myself amused with youtube and the awesome that is jj lin and alan luo. i also realize now that the reason i am so out and proud of my boyband love is that it's just a cover so i don't have to admit how much i love my taiwanese boybands - which, really, you can't sink any lower than that. i don't think i could ever stand up and be all, 5566! 183! fahrenheit! ♥ ♥ ♥ because. no.
also, side note: it took about 4 hours to finish this post because i kept getting sidetracked by youtube. \o/
seriously, you guys, i have the most passionate love/hate affair with that industry, idek. because taiwanese variety shows? and, like, i don't know, i guess you'd call them interview shows? so funny, i cannot even--gah, the taiwanese are like nothing i have ever SEEN. and you know how much i love my tv. they're constantly on the move, juggling fifty billion things, and, like, in hollywood jumping from one medium to another is potential suicide, but in taiwan? the market moves so quickly that not being everywhere at once means your career is probably gone. you're never just an actor, you're an actor/singer/entertainer/stand-up comedian/dancer all in one. and it is probably a case of jack of all trades, master of none, because you're never going to see any of those people turn out a performance, like, worthy of a golden globe - or any award, for that matter - but nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh. DOESN'T EVEN MATTER.
because once in a while someone TOTALLY AWESOME comes along, with the talent of, like, IDEK, OKAY, BUT IT IS SOMETHING REALLY REALLY BIG. and i am the HUGEST fan of covers, EVER, so when people do covers i get all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN WHEN THEY DO THEM LIKE THIS: a rappy, hip-hop WHATEVER and turn it into THE MOST FUCKING AWESOME THING IN LIFE (5:35), OMG. SERIOUSLY. HOW IS ONE PERSON SO HUGELY TALENTED? and then he does it AGAIN at 8:50, and continues into THIS PART, FREAKING, LIKE, MEDLEY-STYLE, AND HE BARELY EVEN NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT IT, and then the BEATBOXING AT 6:40, OMG, AND he is FUCKING SINGAPOREAN, AND THEN SHOW'S FACE IS JUST, LIKE, THE ICING ON THE WEDDING CAKE, OKAY.
(oh! OH! AND SPEAKING OF WEDDINGS! omg, this and this TOTALLY MADE ME CRY, because! 8 DIFFERENT OUTFITS. PER PERSON. AND FUCKING GLASS SLIPPERS ALA CINDERELLA, OKAY. IT IS MY FUCKING WEDDING FAIRYTALE, FOR SRS. AND THEN THE PHOTOSHOOT WITH THE BUNCH OF BALLOONS THAT COST LIKE $2 MILLION NTD, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. someone buy me a taiwanese husband for christmas, okay? i would not say no to the boy in my dp, which i have tagged 'laogong', and which may or may not mean 'husband' in chinese. ahem.)
but, okay, like, jj? i have loved him for a while now, and he is just, he gets better and better and better, like vintage wine or something, OMG. i don't know how he does it but he is so ADORABLE and, ugh. maybe i don't love his music now as much as i did before (because hello! jiang nan! dou jiang you tiao! mu nai yi! ♥) but he is so much more relaxed now. he jokes! he giggles! he MAKES FUNNIES! HE HOLDS HIS OWN EVEN AGAINST THE OTHER EXPERIENCED ENTERTAINERS WITH ALL THEIR TAIWAN HUMOR! <3333333333333333
but back to how talented he is. i love when he does songs, like, anyone's songs. especially if they're not his own because he always does them AWESOME. like, okay, yuan lai is one of the songs he's done that i've loved for all time, and when he redoes it here i get all tingly and stuff. and then he does zhu fu here (1:05) and, okay, this makes me laugh NO END, because i love jacky wu to death, he's hilarious, and the NEW LYRICS. (ELLA HEBE SELINA! THE LADIES' SMELLING LIKE SEAFOOD! AHAHAHAHA *DIES*) and i love that people are, like, salivating all over him trying to explain their love. *swoons* and then some little kid challenges him to a face off and it is AMAAAZING. and the little thumbs-up jj gives the kid at the end, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS HIM SO CLEARLY BEAT. UGH, JJ. :-******
and then, okay, he did this duet with ah-sa, and the video is just so, SO adorable, nnnnngh. i loved that people were all, like, it's like you're going back to your roots with the simple melodies and the innocent, puppy-dog love and you are AWESOME. but it's not even just him, okay, because most of the awesome songs/music videos in taiwan are all duets. and the song may not even be awesome but the chemistry might be, or like, the videos are. idk, I LOVE TAIWANESE MUSIC VIDEOS SO MUCH, like, a billion times more than i ever do the english ones, because they always have storylines and just, they're SO GOOD. it may not even be the story, sometimes, it could be the chemistry or the setting or the concept or whatever. but they're always, like, they make you FEEL something, sad or happy or angry or amused.
like, okay, qian li zhi wai was probably one of my favourite songs the year it came out. and wu ding is such genius, and so romantic. i love a good love song. and then alan luo and xiao s in this one? omg, i love that the two of them are all, whatever, they just look at each other and it's like the screen heats up. and the whole IDEA OF IT. SO PERFECT. with the lipstick and the semi-cheating and the STILL GOING HOME TOGETHER IN THE MORNING. <3333333333333 i think this is when i may have first decided show was kind of gorgeous. and then he went and did this video with rainie yang, and like, uggggggggh, show. idek, okay, but it's so sad and wistful and i LOVE IT SO MUCH. and then him and elva working on bai gei ni, which is just so CHEEKY AND PLAYFUL AND HAPPY and i LOVE the push-and-pull dynamic of it, i love how they play with the idea of 'men are from mars and women are from venus' and the mini tango at the end is so brilliant, omg. his smile is so SUNNY, it's like, i don't know, but i love it. i love him. and then he turns around and does the shadow dance, which is lewd and kind of disturbingly hot, especially by taiwan's standards, and nnnnnnngh. i love that he is the michael jackson of taiwan kind of a lot.
and then he makes the most ridiculous tv series, except for how they are also totally awesome, like hot shot and corner with love (and how amused am i by the english subs? idk, that people would do so much work for these series always catches me off guard). and i kind of love the leading lady a lot, especially in mars, where she acts opposite one of my favourite taiwanese actors ever. (zai, ilu.) and he's also in silence, which, idk, i have a soft spot for sign language. and also for hurt!leading men, which might explain my hurt!dean kink. ack. and while i'm at it, i should also mention that wang zi bian qing wa and fated to love you are the best things to happen to tv since sushi. because ming dao - and thus, by extension, anyone who looks like him - is hot like burning and ridiculously good at what he does.
and then when they do the PROMO for their shows it's a whole 'nother ball game altogether and oh my gosh, i said this already but TAIWANESE VARIETY SHOWS ARE LOVE. they are EVERYTHING that is awesome about this industry, FOR SRS. like, okay, kang xi lai le makes me laugh FOREVER, not gonna lie, and they are just so persistent and nosy and everything respectful but probing journalists should be and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. and then they play stupid games like this and THIS (AND HOMG THEY ARE CRAZY BRAVE, OR JUST CRAZY, I DON'T KNOW WHICH) and then there is THIS! THIS! KISSING! ON A GAME SHOW! WHICH I AM ALL FOR, ALWAYS, and omg mengzhe is so adorable ♥. and then he goes and is all brilliant on the english-taiwanese guessing game thing, which, ugh, idk, i love when they don't suck at english. AND THEN! guo guang makes my boyband CROSS-DRESS (OMG THE MOUSTACHE *DIES*), and then MAKES MY OTHER BOYBAND KISS, AND THEY LOOK SO HORRIFIED IT KILLS ME. OMG WHY DO THEY NOT DO THIS IN AMERICA? IT IS GENIUS, AND ALSO AWESOME, AND ALSO GENIUS.
but yes. see, long story short (HAHAHAHAhahahaha, right), i was pretty sure yesterday was going to be a wash, because i had to miss out on what i'm pretty sure was probably the best round of guitar hero ever, but then i kept myself amused with youtube and the awesome that is jj lin and alan luo. i also realize now that the reason i am so out and proud of my boyband love is that it's just a cover so i don't have to admit how much i love my taiwanese boybands - which, really, you can't sink any lower than that. i don't think i could ever stand up and be all, 5566! 183! fahrenheit! ♥ ♥ ♥ because. no.
also, side note: it took about 4 hours to finish this post because i kept getting sidetracked by youtube. \o/