OUCH
So, as i've mentioned probably more times than anyone cares, i have nueropathy.
the thing is, i can't feel my toes... or that's how it started. and while i do have an insulin resistance issue relatec to my PCOS (go google it if you don't know what it is) the nueropathy started before the insulin resistance and the most likely cause is a spinal stenosis. That's when the spine is so fucked up that it tightens around the spinal cord.
my dad just had surgery for this, turns out he had it for like twenty years. so yeah, i got it a little earlier than he did, and it hit me harder, but hey, i'm way fatter than him, and don't get up as early in the morning on a regular basis (i know that has nothing to do with it but he's one of those people who think it makes him morally supirior to get up at seven am every day automatically and crash at noon. i get up at noon and crash at four, and i'm a lazy bitch)
um, sorry, i was digressing. anyway, my toes, couldn't feel them...this is more of an issue than you think.
go stand still for thirty seconds...i'll wait.
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did you pay attention to how often you moved your toes to balance your body and keep yourself from falling over? no? go do it again...it's okay, i've got another 30 seconds.
....................
...................
okay so my balance was off, and it was annoying. but meh, i dealt. that was like three years ago.
it's gotten worse but i always figured it was because i was this morally infirior lazy bitch and if i ever ate less and exercized more it would be better.
well...um... about that.
i'm eating less because i'm busy. i mean i sometimes eat breakfast. ask ace_place we talk on the way to work and i'll be going through a drive through. but more often than not (four times out of five, i don't eat breakfast. i have lunch, then i don't get a chance to eat again til i get home. by the time i get home i'm so tired cooking is out of the question, this leaves...ramen noodles, or whatever can be put in the oven/microwave and removed fully edible. by the time i'd usually be eating for a third time for the day, or at least starting to seriously snack, i'm asleep...so you see, i've cut back on my calories and eating a lot.
exercise more...
oh yeah.
there's the east wing and the west wing. i work in the west wing. of course there's no one as smart as CJ craig or as cute as Josh and Sam were but there's lots of walking to the east wing where all my needy clients are (the west wing is where we keep the long term care clients. they need stuff like...um...to bitch and complain, but the real work is done with the patients who need to be discharged soon, they're all on the east wing)
so i'm running back and forth, and forward to the lobby and back and forward to the business office and back and everywhere else and back all day long. no, i'm not on my feet as much as the nurses or the cna's and that's okay, i couldn't be a nurse, i can't stand other peoples wounds, i'm lazy, and dr's piss me off... but i didn't apply to be a nurse, and i didn't apply for a job that required me to spend five of my 8 - 10 hour days on my feet.
as a result my feet hurt ALL THE TIME....
the right shoes might help, but they'll be hundreds of dollars so they're at least a couple months away and i'm not sure what the "right" shoes are anyway.
and there's no cure, and no pain pill touches this, not vicodin, not flexiril (which is for muscles not pain, but still i thought might work) nothing. it's really bad.
i got to work at 7:45 this morning, which is 45 minutes early, and that's fine because a) i get overtime for every hour over 8 per day (i have no idea why i'm not saleried, or why they pay 8/80 rather than <40 = overtime but i'm not complaining) i didn't end up working overtime though. i left early (after i'd been at work for 8.5 hours so not really early by anyones standards) and came straight home and went to sleep.
i slept and moaned and woke up and still hurt and moaned some more and now i'm making this big long whining post.
wanna know how bad my feet are?
a couple months ago, i wore my dr. martin maryjanes for the first time in a long time. when i took them off i realized that my toes are so numb that i had been unable to feel that my toe nails were so long that the shoes had pressed the nails into my feet until my toes were one big bruise.
three days later the nails fell off both my big toes. i didn't feel anything the whole time the shoes were doing that to my feet.
the toes are numb, the balls of my feet feel like they're on fire.
this is the worst and stupidest post ever and i'll redeem myself soon by writing some nc 17 bj valentines day porn (seriously i figured out where they went and what they did... and it's hot.)
but i'd like to say that tomorrow i get my first paycheck, and i hope the motherfuckers at ADP haven't figured out that i technically owe the motherfuckers at citifinancial money yet. i'd like one full check before they start garnishing my wages.
oh and if anyone knows an actual cure for nueropathy, (and i'll take that lysurgic acid, or whatever and i'm not against vitamins, minarels etc. but if your plan is to tell me to stop taking all western meds and eat a bunch of yak dung and flax seed oil...please don't.)
okay, um.... bring on the sypmathy...or the mocking. i'm expecting mocking...adam, you start.
the thing is, i can't feel my toes... or that's how it started. and while i do have an insulin resistance issue relatec to my PCOS (go google it if you don't know what it is) the nueropathy started before the insulin resistance and the most likely cause is a spinal stenosis. That's when the spine is so fucked up that it tightens around the spinal cord.
my dad just had surgery for this, turns out he had it for like twenty years. so yeah, i got it a little earlier than he did, and it hit me harder, but hey, i'm way fatter than him, and don't get up as early in the morning on a regular basis (i know that has nothing to do with it but he's one of those people who think it makes him morally supirior to get up at seven am every day automatically and crash at noon. i get up at noon and crash at four, and i'm a lazy bitch)
um, sorry, i was digressing. anyway, my toes, couldn't feel them...this is more of an issue than you think.
go stand still for thirty seconds...i'll wait.
....................
...................
did you pay attention to how often you moved your toes to balance your body and keep yourself from falling over? no? go do it again...it's okay, i've got another 30 seconds.
....................
...................
okay so my balance was off, and it was annoying. but meh, i dealt. that was like three years ago.
it's gotten worse but i always figured it was because i was this morally infirior lazy bitch and if i ever ate less and exercized more it would be better.
well...um... about that.
i'm eating less because i'm busy. i mean i sometimes eat breakfast. ask ace_place we talk on the way to work and i'll be going through a drive through. but more often than not (four times out of five, i don't eat breakfast. i have lunch, then i don't get a chance to eat again til i get home. by the time i get home i'm so tired cooking is out of the question, this leaves...ramen noodles, or whatever can be put in the oven/microwave and removed fully edible. by the time i'd usually be eating for a third time for the day, or at least starting to seriously snack, i'm asleep...so you see, i've cut back on my calories and eating a lot.
exercise more...
oh yeah.
there's the east wing and the west wing. i work in the west wing. of course there's no one as smart as CJ craig or as cute as Josh and Sam were but there's lots of walking to the east wing where all my needy clients are (the west wing is where we keep the long term care clients. they need stuff like...um...to bitch and complain, but the real work is done with the patients who need to be discharged soon, they're all on the east wing)
so i'm running back and forth, and forward to the lobby and back and forward to the business office and back and everywhere else and back all day long. no, i'm not on my feet as much as the nurses or the cna's and that's okay, i couldn't be a nurse, i can't stand other peoples wounds, i'm lazy, and dr's piss me off... but i didn't apply to be a nurse, and i didn't apply for a job that required me to spend five of my 8 - 10 hour days on my feet.
as a result my feet hurt ALL THE TIME....
the right shoes might help, but they'll be hundreds of dollars so they're at least a couple months away and i'm not sure what the "right" shoes are anyway.
and there's no cure, and no pain pill touches this, not vicodin, not flexiril (which is for muscles not pain, but still i thought might work) nothing. it's really bad.
i got to work at 7:45 this morning, which is 45 minutes early, and that's fine because a) i get overtime for every hour over 8 per day (i have no idea why i'm not saleried, or why they pay 8/80 rather than <40 = overtime but i'm not complaining) i didn't end up working overtime though. i left early (after i'd been at work for 8.5 hours so not really early by anyones standards) and came straight home and went to sleep.
i slept and moaned and woke up and still hurt and moaned some more and now i'm making this big long whining post.
wanna know how bad my feet are?
a couple months ago, i wore my dr. martin maryjanes for the first time in a long time. when i took them off i realized that my toes are so numb that i had been unable to feel that my toe nails were so long that the shoes had pressed the nails into my feet until my toes were one big bruise.
three days later the nails fell off both my big toes. i didn't feel anything the whole time the shoes were doing that to my feet.
the toes are numb, the balls of my feet feel like they're on fire.
this is the worst and stupidest post ever and i'll redeem myself soon by writing some nc 17 bj valentines day porn (seriously i figured out where they went and what they did... and it's hot.)
but i'd like to say that tomorrow i get my first paycheck, and i hope the motherfuckers at ADP haven't figured out that i technically owe the motherfuckers at citifinancial money yet. i'd like one full check before they start garnishing my wages.
oh and if anyone knows an actual cure for nueropathy, (and i'll take that lysurgic acid, or whatever and i'm not against vitamins, minarels etc. but if your plan is to tell me to stop taking all western meds and eat a bunch of yak dung and flax seed oil...please don't.)
okay, um.... bring on the sypmathy...or the mocking. i'm expecting mocking...adam, you start.