TKO, Visit With The Parents
Title: TKO Visit With The Parents
Author:Vamphile
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word Count: 12,500 +/-
Summary Jared and Jensen spend a long weekend with Jared's family
A/N: I’m severely nervous about this because I haven’t posted fic in like 18 months so feedback would be appreciated.
TKO Visit With The Parents
Jensen had finished his morning beat down on Jared's gym equipment and stepped out of the bathroom, hair still damp from the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of Jared's sweatpants riding low on his hips and his wrist cuff and watch.
Jared had tried several times to convince Jensen to buy his own workout gear but Jensen just shrugged away the suggestion. Until he finally just admitted, “I like yours” and since Jared was just caveman enough to like Jensen like that he, had come to appreciate the way they rested just under the cut of his hip and pooled at his ankles, he’d let it go. Today, it wasn’t even on his top ten list of things to worry about. The first seven of those ten slots were taken up with the same request.
When Jensen sat down, blowing across a cup of black coffee, Jared put what he was reading aside. “I’m going to see my parents for the long weekend. Leaving Friday morning, coming back late Monday.” Jensen hummed his acknowledgement. It was no small thing that Jensen was now comfortable alone at home. After he’d moved in with Jared he’d lived like a guest for so long but it had been two years, and Jared had been up to see his parents at least a dozen times, so he hadn’t expected a fight on that, but this next part might get tricky.
“I want you to come with me.”
Jensen looked up, eyes wide. “I didn’t agree to this. Did I agree to this? I don’t think I agreed to this.”
“Can you agree to it now?”
“I’m working three of those four days.”
“And how many days does Benny owe you for covering when someone else needed a day off?”
“I get three days off a week. Benny doesn’t owe me anything.”
Jared would laugh if this weren’t so important to him, and in the long run, to Jensen. Jensen was excellent at diversionary tactics. So now they could argue about days off, and paid leave and in the end accomplish nothing? Jared didn’t think so. He focused back on the real question at hand.
“My brother will be there with his wife and kids, and my sister with her husband and the new baby. I’d like you to be there too”.
“So it’s not just you your mom and dad, it’s an entire house full of people? No.”
“Jensen.”
“Jared, no. I have to work and if I went… I mean… I don’t want to hurt anybody and especially not your family. You wouldn’t be able to… I don’t want to…” there was a catch in Jensen's voice. Those were rarer these days.
“What, what don’t you want?”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Jared interlaced his fingers with Jensen's. “Hey, you’re not going to lose me. And you’re not going to hurt anybody.”
Jared understood it all intellectually, and he’d managed to help Jensen get past some of the barriers. He occasionally joined Jared and Bowie and Michelle for drinks, even bigger success he occasionally sparred with other members, and as much as Jared understood Jensen's concern, respected it, he knew it wasn’t a reasonable fear. Jensen was good with children, he’d never hurt Jared's nieces or nephews, and he had a pretty strong feeling Jensen wasn’t about to go off on any of his family but just promising Jensen that wasn’t going to convince him of it. Didn’t keep him from trying though.
Jensen gripped Jared's hand. “You don’t know that.”
“I do, and hey, if you wanna go off on someone I nominate Jeff. He’s got three inches on me and was the one who taught me how to wrestle in the first place.”
Jensen tilted his head and huffed out a breath. “It’s funny how you always act like you can take me. You know I’d have you pinned to the mat in less than a minute.”
“Yeah, but I know a lot of tricks to get you to let me up.”
“You know a trick other than y’know, telling me to? Cause that’s the only one I’ve seen you use.”
“Do I really have to wrestle you to the ground and make you go?”
Jensen shook his head. “If you say we’re going, we’re going, but… Jared, please…”
Jared stood up, moving to Jensen's side of the table. “Please what?”
“Please don’t let me hurt anyone?”
Jared tugged Jensen up into a hug. “You know I won’t, even if I have to use my black belt in telling you what to do.”
Jensen laughed a little more comfortably “and you promise your brother can defend himself?”
“Against twin four year old boys, so you’re no real competition.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you Jensen.”
Jensen's head was buried in Jared's shoulder. “Don’t thank me yet.”
Jared held him tighter. So now all he had to do was get Jensen through four days with his family. Maybe they’d leave late on Friday, cut it to three days. Not because he thought for a minute that Jensen would hurt his family but because he did think that Jensen's stress levels might hit the red zone. Jensen liked a few hours of solitary peace daily, that wasn’t exactly a Padalecki specialty.
:::-:::-:::
Jensen spent the rest of the week obsessing over the upcoming trip. “How long’s the drive again?”
“Three hours. Jensen, we’ll be alone in the car, just you and me, nothing scary about three hours alone with me, right?”
“But if something happens…”
Jared kissed him, his hands gripping Jensen's biceps. “Nothing’s gonna happen.”
“But an accident or a flat tire…”
“We call triple A or just change the tire.”
“What if I have to drive?”
“So you drive. You can drive.” He could and Jared knew he didn’t like to but also knew he was licensed and able. “Three hours in a car with me and I’d think you’d be desperate to get out, even if it’s just to meet my mother.”
Jensen shrugged turning to pick up his iPod before leaving for work. “You’re not so bad.”
Jared nodded and headed back to the gym. ‘Not so bad’ was pretty much the best he was gonna get until Monday night when they were back here and he was no longer inflicting such evil plans as meeting the in-laws on Jensen. They had an arrangement that worked, no doubt, for both of them, but that didn’t mean Jensen was always gonna love every thing and in truth, Jared was happier to have Jensen expressing his concern. For one, it’s a far better option than Jensen letting it bottle up and come out somewhere else, and honestly, Jensen had brought up a few points Jared might have overlooked. Helped Jared to plan ahead.
He wanted Jensen to meet his parents for altruistic reasons. He wanted Jensen to be accepted as an in-law, as part of the tribe. He wanted Jensen to have his family, since he didn’t have one of his own, and Jared could justify this trip that way a thousand times but it didn’t help the small niggling worm that reminded him that so far, only his brother had met Jensen, when he’d come into town for an expo and his mother had made it pretty clear that the entire family would descend soon if he didn’t bring “that young man of yours up this weekend. He’s lived with you for two years and I’ve never even heard his voice. Jared, we’re worried about you.”
So this was for him too.
And that made him selfish, putting Jensen through this just so he could get his family off his back, but as he turned over in his head, checking it from all sides, while he worked on his footwork, he couldn’t find a way that this wasn’t inevitable and he knew it was safe. He’d make damn sure of it.
“Picking up bad habits from your boy now?”
Jared looked up as Bowie finished off a bottle of some triple caffeinated sugar filled energy drink.
Jared flipped his sweat damp hair off his face. “What?”
“You, looking to kill something and that’s the longest I’ve ever seen you work like that without stopping to guide or train a member.”
Jared shrugged and took the bottle of water Bowie was offering him. “Nothing serious, Jensen’s comin’ with me to meet the folks.”
Bowie let out a long whistle. “That’s been a long time coming.”
“No shit.”
“Man, I don’t even wanna know how you convinced him to do that.”
“Yeah, well, Meg’s coming in with the new baby. Haven’t seen her since Blake was born and now she’s goin’ on six months, it’s time.”
“Yeah, I hear ya. Meeting Michelle’s parents was no walk in the park, and I didn’t have a prison record and visible tattoos.”
“Yeah, but you manage to send off that thug vibe anyway. Plus we fight, that’s all anyone ever seems to get out of the owning a gym thing.”
“Bouncer reads the same you know.”
“I’m not worried about what my family’s gonna think of him.”
“Liar.”
“Maybe.” Jared had made his way to the office and sprawled into the easy chair. Bowie sat at the desk.
“So what happens if your family doesn’t like him, you’re a grown ass man, right? Or is this going to turn into some kind of gay Romeo and Juliet?”
“Well, seeing as he doesn’t have any family to disapprove, we can rule out the Romeo and Juliet scenario, most likely just boring family drama but my family just isn’t the dramatic type, I think it’ll realistically be a lot more emails phone calls and visits to ‘see how I’m doing’.” Jared actually used the air quotes.
“Yeah, that I can see, well, hey, tell Jeff I said hi and keep your guard up.”
Jared nodded, finished his water and headed down to the floor to work with some of the members. There was a new guy wandering around so Jared grabbed a membership packet too.
:::-:::-:::
Jensen went back in the house for the third time and Jared dropped his head on the steering wheel. It was almost four. They were heading out of the city so the traffic wouldn’t be too bad, but he didn’t want to show up too late. Jensen returned, and climbed in with his backpack heavier than Jared had ever seen it.
Packing had been an ordeal of its own. Three and a half days of laid back family time, (even if Jared probably wouldn’t be laid back for much of it) wasn’t hard to pack for, but Jensen first insisted in fitting everything he needed in his backpack, including clothes and books, which was just stupid. Jared moved Jensen's clothes to his duffle bag, leaving Jensen room for more books and all the other sundries Jensen needed to feel safe. He had some of their favorite DVD’s and his laptop packed too, in case sleeping was an issue, (and it would be, it was an issue). He knew Jensen had loaded his iPod with books and packed six actual paper versions and his kindle, (last year’s Christmas present). They should be fine but Jensen kept going back to check that everything was locked. It was starting to irritate Sadie, who was fine with them leaving, but the leaving and coming back and leaving and coming back had her whining. Jensen made a move to get out and Jared grabbed his wrist and shook his head.
“We’re leaving now unless you can give me a real reason why you need to go back inside.”
“Um, what if Sadie needs…”
“Bowie will be by in two hours to check on her. He and Michelle are gonna hang out here tomorrow night to give her quality time and check on her through out the day. Any other reasons?”
Jensen bit his lip letting it slide out from between his teeth. His lip was red and swollen from how often he’d been doing that in the last couple of days. Jared pulled him closer, kissed him and let one hand span Jensen's thigh pressing into one of the many marks he’d left last night. Jensen had been insatiable, the way he sometimes was before Jared had to go to an out of town overnight expo, or to visit his folks, the way he was when something was bothering him and he needed a little more than the wristband to remember who he belonged to, who loved him, who had his back. Jared had been happy to do it… to a point. They were eventually gonna have to talk about Jensen and pain, Jared put it near the top of his ongoing list of things he kept in mind when he was with Jensen. He didn’t take his commitment lightly, and you know, he fucking loved this man. This man who was currently driving him crazy.
Jensen had reciprocated happily kissing Jared, pushing him back into his seat, leaning into him, as if the both of them could actually do something in the drivers side of an old bronco, they couldn’t but not for lack of trying on Jensen's part. Jared kept kissing him, his hands now firmly on Jensen's shoulders. “’c’mon Jensen, plenty of time for that once we get there.”
That seemed to shut Jensen up and Jared pulled out onto road and headed towards the highway. “Your iPod or mine?”
“Mine’s all books.”
“We can listen to a book, you’ll just have to load the file onto the laptop or tell me how it ends if we don’t get to finish it.”
Jensen parked his iPod in the dock navigating to a specific folder. “This is short stories by Wodehouse. I think they’re funny.”
Jared nodded. He’d really be okay listening to Jack London again if it calmed Jensen down.
:::-:::-:::
A little more than three hours later they were parked in front of Jared's parents’ house. He didn’t bother to knock, just poked his head in and called out hello. Jared's mother greeted them at the door, his brother and sister behind her, and their kids following behind loudly. His father came in, probably from the backyard and it took every thing in Jared's power not to just bark at them all to get the hell back. He was used to being mauled by an unruly mob of family but he could feel Jensen's death grip on the back of his t-shirt and then as his brother in law joined the cheerful greetings Jensen released that grip. Jared’s hand moved quickly to grab Jensen by the wrist before he went back to the car. Great, he’d already fucked up. He smiled over his aggravation and moved two steps inside the house, his shoulders square, his stance wide. Everyone backed away a little to give him room and turned their attention to Jensen. Jared grabbed the duffle bag and moved with purpose. “Give us a minute to get our stuff out of the way, we’ll be down soon. He turned to his mother. “My room?” She nodded and he practically dragged Jensen up the steps and into his old room. He was surprised his mother hadn’t turned it into a nursery yet, but grateful too.
He dropped the duffle on the floor and threw everything else on the bed turning his attention to Jensen who was standing in the door frame looking confused. “Where do I…?”
“Here, with me, I know a full sized bed isn’t exactly ideal but it beats camping out in the garage.”
“Here with you, but… they’ll…they’ll know.” Jensen was still doing that nervous rocking from one foot to the other but at least he was meeting Jared's gaze.
“Jensen, you know they already know, it’s not a secret. We live together.”
“But I could just be your roommate or…”
“Jensen, our house has no walls and only one bed, they know.”
“But… then why… I mean how come…”
“Why are they still speaking to me? How come they haven’t beaten me, disowned me, reported me to my church?”
Jared pulled Jensen into the room and closed the door behind them.
“Jared, don’t.” Jensen hissed with urgency. And Jared actually considered the option of packing the car back up and jetting. Fuck his parents wanting to meet him. Fuck that, Jared wanted him to meet his parents. If this was gonna throw Jensen this badly, maybe it was just a bad fuckin’ idea. Jared guided Jensen to sit on the bed. He crouched between Jensen's knees. Resting one hand on his thigh and one on the side of Jensen's face. “Jen, they’ve known since I was in college. They know, and they’re okay with it.
Jensen wasn’t quite making Jared's eye. “Do they know it’s me?”
“They’ve known about you for a while. I talk to my family about my life, and Jen, you’re a big part of my life.”
Jensen went a little pale, shaking his head. “So they know, they know about… me, and prison? They know about Sig and how stupid I am. How I barely know…”
“Hey, hey! You’re not stupid, and no they don’t know about Sig, that’s nobody’s business but ours. They know you made a mistake when you were mourning over your father’s death and you ended up in jail…”
“Prison.” Jensen corrected him, like he always did when he thought the distinction mattered. “I ended up in Prison.”
“Right, and they know that and they are okay with all of it as long as you make me happy, and you do, you know, every day, so we’re gonna go downstairs, eat some dessert, hopefully pie because my mother makes the best caramel apple pie on the planet, and we’ll spend time with the kids. They’ll be sticky and loud and then they’ll go to bed, and we can claim an early day go to bed.” Jared squeezed Jensen's thigh.
“Not here.” Jensen practically launched himself off the bed. Jared watched Jensen pace the room while he considered the logistics of all of this. The bed at home was a California king, and this full sized mattress was gonna have difficulty just holding them both let alone giving them room to do anything interesting.
“Yeah, mattress may be a little small for anything fun.”
Jensen turned and he was more than scared now, he was frustrated and close to tears which was rare for Jensen.
“Hey, I promise I’ll make it up to you when we get home.”
“Jared, you can’t touch me like that here. Not with your family around, what if they hear, or see, or…”
Jared pulled Jensen close. It was kind of second nature to him now. Whatever rational issues had to be dealt with, Jensen could usually hear them better when Jared was wrapped around him. Jared cupped the back of Jensen's head while Jensen pressed his face into Jared's neck. “No one is going to make fun of you, or be cruel to you because you’re gay, Jen. They don’t put up with that shit in this house, and even if they did, I don’t.”
“But they’re your family.” Jensen murmured it, refusing to lift his head.
“So’re you. Now let’s go downstairs and get this thing started, the sooner we do that, the sooner you can be back in the car listening to a book and heading home.”
Jensen nodded, took a deep breath.
Jared reached to take Jensen's hand, but it wasn’t being offered. Jared wanted to take it, to hold it and let Jensen see how little his family cared, but what Jared wanted most was for Jensen to feel comfortable, so he respected Jensen's unspoken request and walked down stairs, Jensen following behind.
He smiled as he headed into the family room. Megan was on the couch holding Blake, her six year old son Jonah was on the floor, coloring. His twin cousins, four year old boys were doing their best to break every crayon in the box. They seemed to be a tactical strike team.
Jeff was in the easy chair, his six year old daughter, Susie, reading to him on his lap. Jeff's wife was sitting in the matching wing chair and occasionally reigning her boys in when they got too noisy.
Jared’s father was at the other end of the sofa, half listening to the television, half listening to Jeff talk about some upgrade he was planning for his car’s suspension system. Jared sat down next to his dad leaving plenty of room for Jensen.
Jensen sat on the floor by Jared's knee. Jared's hand fell effortlessly to Jensen's head, stroking his fingers through his hair and gently massaging the back of his neck. When he realized this was only comfortable and familiar because it’s how Sadie sat when he and Jensen were on the couch and she was on the floor he pulled his hand back like it was on fire. “Jensen, there’s room on the couch.”
Jensen was not his pet and he didn’t want anyone thinking otherwise. He’d had clingy boyfriends before, Jensen wasn’t clingy and he sure as hell wasn’t Jared's pet.
Jensen was looking up at him trying to gauge his mood and meaning. Jared just smiled. “C’mon it’ll be better for your back.” Jensen sat next to Jared; ramrod straight not a part of him touching Jared, his eyes fixed forward at the far wall. Jared sighed, this weekend was gonna be rough.
Jared had called the evening right though, pie, a production of putting a lot of kids to bed, and then Jared made their apologies. He didn’t take Jensen right upstairs though. “C’mere, wanna show you something.”
Jensen nodded and Jared walked him out the side door to a car port the opened onto the back yard. “My dad hung that when I started working out. I had kind of a temper when I was a kid, so they put me in every sport you can imagine. Only football and wrestling really took…” Jared shrugged. “Just figured you might wake up earlier than I do tomorrow.”
Jensen nodded hitting it full force once just to test it. It swung but not too far. Jensen smiled in the low glow of the single exterior light, “yeah.”
Jared moved him further into the shadows and kissed him. “There’s tape in my duffle bag. If you don’t tape up you’re hands, you’re not gonna like what happens next.”
Jensen nodded again. “I promise.” They went upstairs, Jared was nowhere near tired and Jensen barely slept under the best circumstances, Jared tried several times to at least make out with his boyfriend but after the third try and being pushed away like an aggressive teenager he put a DVD into the player and just laid in bed watching things blow up. Jared eventually fell asleep.
:::-:::-:::
When he woke up in the morning he looked out the window and there in the carport was Jensen beating the holy hell out of the old fashioned Everlast heavy bag. Jared taped up his own hands, heading downstairs. He’d planned on holding the bag for Jensen but Jeff was already there doing it for him, the same way he’d done it for Jared, except holding against the force of Jared in High school vs. the full force of Jensen's morning aggression release was a whole different ballgame and with a full time job and two four year old boys, he guessed Jeff didn’t have time to work out like he’d used to.
Jared nodded towards Jeff and came in slowly to Jensen's right. He didn’t really worry anymore about Jensen losing track and taking someone out before he could think about it, but he also wasn’t sure what happened when you took him completely out of his comfort zone. He wasn’t even sure Jensen registered the change in personnel at first but the third hit was harder, much harder. Jensen had been holding back. Jared wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
Jeff was still standing next to him, watching Jensen with a critical eye. “Not a big talker, huh?”
Jared shrugged. “Not really, no.”
“Hell of a form though.”
“He gets a lot of practice in.”
“Plus he’s a bouncer.”
“More about looking like you can than having to do much.”
Jeff moved a little closer to Jared and Jared felt the force of the kick that he thought might be aimed at what Jensen perceived as a threat. Jensen was mostly primeval thought process before his morning coffee which came after his morning workout. Jeff hadn’t noticed the increased force so Jared just braced himself against it and kept half his attention on Jensen and turned slightly to Jeff, raising an eyebrow.
“Can he even hear us right now?”
Jared rolled his eyes. “He can hear us, he can see us, he’s not a robot, he just likes to work out in the morning.”
“But… I mean…”
Jensen moved in closer, pummeling the bag with his fists. “I can hear you. If you want me to stop just say so.”
“No, man, I just don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so focused.”
Jensen didn’t bother to respond he just took a step back and started working on an overhand right spinback left fist. Jeff nodded, impressed, but Jared knew Jensen didn’t notice, eventually Jeff pointed towards the door. “Gonna help Julie with the kids.”
It was only a little after seven and Jensen was kicking, over and over and over and Jared almost shouted in terror as a small form threw itself full force punching near the bottom of the bag. Jensen immediately stopped kicking and started punching again, letting Suzie stand between him and the bag, punching at it 'til Jensen crouched down. “Put your weight on your back leg and punch all the way through. Can I show you?”
Suzie nodded as Jensen adjusted her stance and then guided her hand through the blow. “That’s good. Keep practicing that.”
Jared was still holding the bag but he knew he was also grinning like a maniac. Jensen was so afraid of hurting people but he just never came close.
Jared and Jensen coached Suzie for a while, Jensen showing the proper stance and weight shift for a kick. Jared adding pointers and standing behind the bag. Fifteen minutes later the twins came in and tried to be like their older sister, who told them they were both stupid babies, which made them cry, and then jump on Suzie together. Jared pulled one of them off and Jensen was looking to Jared for help. He stood back, clearly not sure what to do as Suzie and the other twin scrabbled on the grass.
When Jared had two kicking and yelling boys under his arms Jeff showed up with a cup of coffee and laughed.
“I think we still have weights, you don’t need to use my kids.”
Jared shrugged, “this works.”
Jeff held up his coffee. “Trade you.”
Jared smiled and handed off Aaron or Alec, he wasn’t sure which, to Jeff and took the coffee.
“Jensen, there’s coffee in the kitchen” Jeff added.
Jensen nodded but didn’t move. Jared put the significantly more calm kid down on the grass and looked over at Suzie who was now yelling some sort of karate thing before kicking the bag again.” Be good.”
Jared and Jensen moved further away to an old weight set. Jensen tested the bench, silently piling weights onto the bar, when it reached one seventy five Jared took a long gulp of coffee and shook his head. “Let’s keep it below one fifty today, okay?”
Jensen nodded and made the adjustment. Jared pulled the bench away from the wall so they had space and spotted Jensen. By the time Megan was downstairs with the baby Jensen had done almost twice the number of reps he usually did in the morning but with lighter weights, so Jared figured it evened out. Everyone else was discussing breakfast; Jared tugged Jensen with him as they headed back upstairs. This next part might be an issue. He wasn’t sure.
When they were safely ensconced back in Jared's room he let Jensen have the first shower. Jensen opened the door, stared at the room, stared back at Jared and stood frozen, folding the loose fabric at the thigh of his sweatpants over and back, letting go and then doing it again. This one Jared knew, this was the public shower issue. “That door locks.” He pointed towards the bathroom door that opened into the hallway. “This one doesn’t anymore, old locks, so the question is where do you want me?”
Jensen checked the door to the hallway, it was locked. He nodded to himself. He stood outside the bathroom, walked out of the bedroom for a second, seemingly checking angles of entry from all areas, and then stood inside the bathroom, taking in its size and Jared's size and he closed the bedroom door, pulled the old desk chair to the middle of the wall between the bedroom door and the bathroom door and left the bathroom door open. “Like that.”
Jared nodded and handed Jensen a couple of towels. The hot water ran. Jared knew from experience it was scorchingly hot water. Turned Jensen's skin red. At some point, before Jensen had even moved in, but when he’d been working out and showering at Jared's almost every day, Jared had lowered the temperature on the hot water heater. It had been the day after Jensen had almost blistered his skin. Jared, controlling guy that he was, still knew Jensen better than to try and adjust the temperature today. Besides, Jensen would be taking the world’s fastest shower, that much he knew for sure. And, as predicted, the steam had hardly had time to start to swirl before Jensen was out of the shower. His hair was still wet when he was dressed. Jared waited 'til he was sitting on the bed opening up a book to kiss him. “We have to go downstairs when I’m done showering, okay?”
Jensen nodded and Jared stole another kiss, still barely a peck before he showered.
By the time they made it down to the kitchen Jared's mother had already cleaned up what she described as hurricane Padalecki, the next generation. Jared gave her a peck on the cheek. “I’ll make coffee.”
She motioned over to the machine, “make a lot. Strong.”
Jared nodded and moved Jensen over to the machine, “twelve scoops.”
Jensen nodded.
The coffee was brewing and Jared was leaning against the counter talking to his mom. When the coffee was made he poured three large mugs full, added sugar to his, handed Jensen one mug and left the other on the counter by his mother. He sat down at the kitchen table close enough so that his foot could reach out and tap on Jensen's, far enough away that Jensen's eyes had stopped darting around trying to keep track of his surroundings and making sure no one suspected that they were a couple. Jared knew this had to be addressed but not here, this morning, in his parent’s kitchen, but soon.
“So, Jensen, you work at Benny's? You know Jared's father and I used to go there on Friday nights when we were dating. I had a friend who sang in a band there.”
Jensen took a deep gulp of coffee and smoothed out the placemat. “I think it was probably nicer then.”
Jared's mother laughed. “Oh I doubt it. Scratched wooden floors, half the place taken up by a bar, noisy, smoky, giant steaks and the best eggplant parmesan I’ve ever had.”
Jensen nodded once. “Yeah, but no smoking anymore. Makes it hard sometimes.”
“Oh, do you smoke?”
Jensen was still staring down at the table. “No, I’m a bouncer.”
“So, the smoking… ohhhhh, because you let people in, and then they go outside to smoke, and then you have to let them in again.”
Jensen almost smiled, but nodded. “Yes ma’am. Benny used to use stamps, but you can just transfer them to someone else by licking you hand and…. “ Jensen motioned with his two hands to show how they could be pressed together to transfer a stamp, and then, as if realizing he’d done something wrong his hands clamped back on the coffee cup.
“But he doesn’t use stamps anymore?”
Jensen shook his head. “Now we use those bracelets, different colors for different nights, that works better, I think.”
“They didn’t do much carding when I went there, but my friends and I used to pick a very bright and garment, like an orange scarf or a huge pin, and then we’d pass it back out and the next girl would come in, swearing she’d already been carded, usually the guy didn’t remember the girl but remembered the scarf and once we were all in, we’d be all set.”
Jensen gave a half smile. “That wouldn’t work today.”
“No, I don’t suppose it would, but it worked then, and if it wasn’t for that trick I probably would never have gotten drunk enough to let Jared's father kiss me.”
Jared's dropped his face into his hand. “Mom, no one, I mean, no one wants to hear gross stories about you sneaking into bars and letting guys kiss you. You’re a grandmother for the love of god, you have five grandchildren.”
“Would the story be okay if I only had three grandchildren?”
Jared gave in and laughed. “Your goal is to traumatize us all isn’t it?”
“It’s every parent’s goal.”
“I’m going to the living room, Jensen, want to join me?”
He knew from his expression that Jensen did not want to go to the living room, where many more members of the family were located but ne nodded anyway, took the last gulp of his coffee, rinsed the mug out and was looking for soap before Jared's mother shooed him away.
They were all going out to dinner tonight but for the day Jared's father had declared a day of no work. Jared remembered his father doing these occasionally when Jeff had been about thirteen or so, old enough to prefer hanging out with his friends than his family. So occasionally, they all dropped everything and spent time together doing nothing. It worked. There was talk of going out to the state park, about twenty minutes north, walking the trails, but Megan wasn’t sure how well the stroller would do on the trails, they considered all the family oriented things they could do and in the end, came to no decision, which was what usually happened so the boys were playing some game that only Jonah seemed to understand the rules to, possibly because he was making them up as he went along, and Megan handed Blake off to Jared's mom leaving she and her husband free to go out back and not have kids in their face for the first time in a long time. Jeff was sitting on the couch, so was his dad. Jensen headed upstairs. “I’m gonna go finish my book.”
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Come down for lunch?”
Jensen shrugged. “If I’m hungry.”
Jensen hadn’t eaten breakfast, he couldn’t go three days without eating but Jared didn’t say a thing; he’d worry about it when it became an issue. He wasn’t going to force anything to the surface when things were almost okay. He sat back in the easy chair and felt his family’s eyes on him without needing to look.
“So, Jensen…” Jeff started.
“He’s very handsome” his mother this time.
“Yeah, he is” Jared agreed.
“Bit quiet though.” His dad added.
“Yep, think about what’d be like to have two of me in my place. Had to find a quiet one.”
“So you like him.” Jared didn’t know why that made him kinda wants smack his brother.
“No I’ve been living with him for two years because he bugs the crap out of me.”
“We’re just…”
Jared looked over at his mom “worried about me? I get that, I do, but I’m fine, he’s okay, we’re good, and he came, he just… he doesn’t like family events. His family, well…he wasn’t as lucky as I was.”
“Was it the gay thing?” Jeff asked.
Jared shook his head. “It’s a complicated story that isn’t mine to tell. He just needs a little bit of space and quiet sometimes, so I’m trying to give him that.”
“Here, in this house? Are you insane?”
Jared huffed out a small laugh at his father’s question. “It’s distinctly possible that I am.”
“Well, good, then we raised you right.”
Jared looked lazily over at the TV. “Is there a game on or maybe some cars driving around really fast or something?”
Jared's dad started flipping through the channels 'til he found the Cardinals game, it was at the bottom of the second, 1 - 0. Jared listened more than he watched as he leaned back to stare at the ceiling and plan the next few days, searching carefully for land mines he might have overlooked.
:::-:::-:::
Jared fell asleep somewhere near the fifth inning and by the time he woke up, the game was over. He played on the floor with the twins for a while, one eye constantly on the staircase, waiting for Jensen to come down. His mother offered him a sandwich and he followed her into the kitchen. “You haven’t slept like that since you were in high school and sneaking out in the middle of the night.”
Jared took a bite out of an apple and nodded when his mother held up Swiss cheese for his sandwich. “I promise I wasn’t out all night.”
“No, I’m not sure you’d fit out those narrow windows these days.”
Jared stuck his chest out while he rolled his eyes. “Not a kid anymore, had more important things to do than drink a stolen six pack down by the pump house.”
“Like look after Jensen.”
“He’s a grown man, he can look after himself.”
Jared's mother put the sandwich on the table and as he sat she ran a hand over his head. “You know, when you were a kid, you were always bringing home the kids that everyone else was picking on.”
“No one picks on Jensen.” Jared didn’t add it’s my job to make sure of that, but he felt it just the same.
“I’m sure no one does.”
Jared just shoved another large bite of sandwich into his mouth. He really really wanted a new topic.
His mother started telling him about a new book she’d read that she thought Jared would like and he listened with half an ear, wondering how long Jensen planned to stay upstairs. On the one hand, if he’d fallen asleep, bonus. Anytime Jensen got sleep it was a bonus but on the other hand, Jared knew Jensen and he’d stay holed up where he felt safe all fucking weekend, and the idea of him sleeping in a strange room, in a house full of people he doesn’t know, alone, just didn’t work.
He finished his sandwich, Megan came in holding the baby, which diverted his mother’s attention and Jared went upstairs.
Jensen was sitting on the bed, reading glasses on, halfway through a book. Jared lay down next to him. His arm flung over Jensen's thighs, his face pressed into Jensen's hip. Jensen's muscles went from warily tense to bunched and ready for attack in the few seconds it took Jared to get situated.
“Jared, please.”
“What, I closed the door.”
Jensen sighed, and sat back but his muscles never relaxed and after a minute Jared got up, taking the desk chair. “We’re going to dinner in a couple of hours, and you’ve spent the whole day locked up in my room.”
“You didn’t tell me I wasn’t allowed to be up here.”
Jensen was excellent at following the letter of the law if not the spirit of the thing sometimes. “We’re here to be with my family, they’re not in here.”
“They’re allowed in here too. They can come up if they want.”
“Jensen.” Jared tried to keep the exasperation out of his voice. Jensen just shrugged and opened his book again, “call me when it’s time to leave for dinner.”
Okay, Jared could handle this, Jensen had a bit of a stubborn streak when it came to his solitude and fighting this fight, again in his childhood bedroom with the paper thin walls and most of his immediate family just downstairs seemed pointless. He moved back to the bed, sitting next to Jensen, hip to hip. He rested his hand on Jensen's thigh lightly and felt him almost melt.
“Hey,” Jared whispered “I know this is spooking you but I promise my family doesn’t bite.”
Jensen closed his book and leaned his head against the wall, his eyes closed. “I’ll be better tomorrow, I promise. Just, can we just stay up here right now?”
Jared squeezed Jensen’s thigh in acceptance and picked up the book under the one Jensen was reading; only making it past the summary before deciding it wasn’t his style. Jensen was asleep, Jared didn’t want to move, and so he sat, going over the incredibly loose itinerary for the next two days again.
:::-:::-:::
The restaurant was crowded and full of kids. Everyone had taken their own cars due to car seat issues. It was just a burger joint, but one that was renowned in the area for their large selections of burgers and bottomless fries, add that to the free balloons for kids and you got Saturday night chaos with loud noises and bright colors and occasional high pitched screams. Jensen froze the minute the walked in. Jared took his hand but Jensen twisted it out of Jared's grip, putting Jonah between them as they walked to the table.
Jared's mother, who liked to keep things organized, directed everyone’s seating arrangement and then sat back herself, satisfied. Jensen and Jared were sitting next to each other, Megan on Jensen's left, Jared's mom on Jared's right.
Jared looked around and realized Jensen was gonna feel trapped. He should have started the seating himself instead of letting his mother do it. Fuck. There was no way to say anything quietly to Jensen, or anyone in this milieu. He sat back trying to gauge Jensen's comfort level, but every time he tried for even a casual touch Jensen jerked away. Jared was braced for trouble throughout the meal but in the end it was all okay, and two hours later they were back in their cars.
“We could go to a movie if you wanted, or just go for a drive. Something private.”
“If you want to, I guess.”
“This is one of those things where I’m asking what you want to do.”
“Um, go home.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, you know, all the way home.”
“Oh.”
“Jared, I’m here, I’m doing what you told me to do. Why are you still mad at me?”
“Um, I didn’t tell you to do anything but be here.”
“And I am here. So what else, Jared? I’ll do it just… you know I’m not good at this stuff, I just need to know what you want. I’m good at doing what you want.”
“You’re terrible at doing what I want.”
Jensen didn’t say anything else. When Jared pulled the car into the development he took a right rather than a left. “You’re not terrible at doing what I want. I don’t want to change you, Jensen; I just wish you would let my family get to know you. Maybe tomorrow spend some time downstairs. My mother’s gonna be cooking all day and the game’ll be on, plus the kids, you’re great with them.”
Jensen nodded. “Okay, tomorrow, more time with your family, I can do that.”
Jared pulled the car to a stop at a dead end street that stopped at a well worn path. “This is where I used to go with guys in high school. We’d drink too much beer and jerk each other off.”
Jensen stared at Jared so hard Jared actually thought he might be able to feel it. Then he took Jared's hand. “You got really good at kissing.”
“I know, right?” Jared smiled and Jensen rested his head on Jared's shoulder. Eventually Jared put his hands on either side of Jensen's face and kissed him. It was slow, and thorough. It wasn’t going any further than a kiss but that didn’t mean that Jared wasn’t going to put everything he needed Jensen to know into it. And it seemed to work. Jensen relaxed into it, opening up to Jared's tongue, sliding his own tongue along Jared’s, tilting his head back and just melting into the seat.
When Jared pulled away, biting Jensen's lip a little as he did he felt something tight in his chest loosen a little and smiled. He started the car and when they got back to the house, they went straight to Jared's room, it was almost nine, and Jared convinced himself that was a reasonable adult bedtime.
:::-:::-:::
Jared was up at a little before eight. He looked out the window to find Jensen exactly where he’d expected him to be. He taped up his own hands and joined him, holding the bag, providing more resistance as Jensen continued to ignore all the skills and techniques he’d mastered and just whaled on the damn thing. He was throwing haymakers for god sake, there was almost never a use for those, and round house kicks thrown in with hooks and jabs in no particular order. His face was red, he was sweating, his breathing had gotten more rapid and god help him, Jared just wanted to throw him down on the grass and have him.
Eventually Jensen slowed down and then stopped, his arms hanging at his sides loosely, his eyes dark, almost as dark as when Jared worked him over with his mouth and fingers until he was nothing but a pile of goo, incapable of any coherent thought. He cracked his neck and moved towards the weight bench. Jared joined him. “Hey, work on the free weights while I get you some water.”
“Make it coffee and you’ve got a deal.”
In the kitchen Jared's mother was serving scrambled eggs, pancakes and bacon to everyone. “You’re just in time.”
“Just coffee for now.”
His mother didn’t say anything and Jared didn’t know what to say to his entire family who was currently starting at him like he’d broken some major law. He’d have to worry about them later. He poured two mugs of coffee and snagged a bottle of water for Jensen.
He handed Jensen the water. “This first, then coffee.”
Jensen nodded, downed the water in less than a minute and took the mug from Jared's hand. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. My mom made bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, you want something?”
“Not hungry.”
“You’re eating tonight you know.”
“I do now.”
“Jensen…”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’ll spot you.”
Jensen nodded and lay back on the weight bench, Jared standing behind him.
Showering was less of an issue as they’d already worked it out and by the time they were downstairs his mother had cleaned up the kitchen and was getting ready for dinner prep. There were two neatly assembled breakfast plates on the counter though. Jared ate his and Jensen declared again that he just wasn’t hungry.
They moved into the family room where everyone was sprawled in a tangle of adults and children. This time there really wasn’t room on the couch for two. Jensen dropped neatly to the floor by Jared who was again next to Megan, She held Blake out to Jared who took her and stared into her just frighteningly small face. “She’s gonna be a tall one,” Megan declared. “She’s already in the ninety-fifth percentile for height.”
“If she can’t walk does it count as height or is it just length?”
“It is what it is, she’s just never gonna be able to wear heels on a date.”
“She’s never gonna date.” This from Blake’s father. Jared laughed.
Jensen was idly pushing a large plastic dump truck back and forth until Suzie pulled it away for her own use. Jensen drove a hot wheels car along the road of the play mat; Jonah drove another car straight at Jensen’s. When they collided Jensen made an explosion sound and Jonah laughed. Suzie, not wanting to be left out drove her dump truck over the whole mess while Jensen imitated the truck noises.
The twins came up on Jensen's other side and started using his legs as their play mat. He bent his knee, making it harder to move the car up the ‘hill’ and the boys giggled riding their cars up over Jensen's leg straight up his chest and then crashing to the ground from the height of his shoulder.
The game started and Jensen watched with half an eye, Jared knew Jensen wasn’t a football fan, too many memories of his dad passed out drunk in front of the game. Instead he played a little more with the kids, coloring with them, helping them to assemble a large preschool wooden train track, and continuing quietly his sound effects for all of it.
Jared watched with fondness and a little bit of frustration, but he pushed that down. Eventually Jensen stood up. “I’m gonna…” he gestured towards the car port. Jared shrugged. “You have an entourage.”
Jensen looked behind him and noticed Suzie and Jonah ready to follow him. Jensen shrugged. “I’m just gonna get some air.”
“Okay.”
He left and five minutes later Jared followed. Jensen was on his knees outside, Suzie was punching his hands the way he’d taught Lizzie’s kids to do. He looked up when Jared was close. “They have better form than Janie and Scott.”
“Yeah, well, my brother’s a high school football coach; I’m guessing they’ve had a little coaching.”
“High school football, huh?”
“He was all state his junior and senior year.”
“Cool. No, Suzie, push through the punch, don’t just aim at the middle of my hand.”
Jared watched for a while and Jensen seemed relaxed, or at least more relaxed than he had up to this point. Jeff came out and stood in the sun watching his daughter be coached by Jensen.
“Daddy, look what uncle Jensen teached me!”
“Taught you.”
Suzie rolled her eyes and ran over to her dad leaving room for her brothers to swarm Jensen again. They were still a little young for coaching so Jensen just let them use him as a punching bag. “No kicking” he laughed as they dropped into a close approximation of a sack and both hit him in the numbers, pushing him to they ground. “They’d make a hell of a defensive line.” Jeff said watching, amused as Suzie went over to kick a tree.
Jonah was coming back and when the boys went to go kick their sister’s tree Jensen tilted his head and smiled a little. “Wanna try?”
Jonah looked surprised but stepped up to Jensen. “I just hit here?” He pointed at Jensen's hand.
Jensen adjusted his stance. “You want to hit here”, he pointed. Jonah nodded and punched with very little force. Jensen smiled. “That’s good, but you’re not gonna hurt me, so hit as hard as you can. But, you know, this is just for fun; don’t hit other people, okay?”
“My mom already told me that.”
“Okay, good. So let’s see what you’ve got.”
Jonah, who’d always been shy, seemed a little wary but he did just what Jensen said and Jared could tell that Jensen was surprised by the force of his blow. He wasn’t hurt by it, just impressed that a seven year old could manage that. Once Jonah found his rhythm he didn’t pull any punches, and was smiling when he finished. “Did you see me Uncle Jeff?”
Jeff nodded. “You were great kiddo.” Jonah ran off to the other side of the yard to play with the twins. Megan shook her head. “I’m gonna have to get him into karate or something. I’ve never seen him that friendly with a stranger.
“I’ll call around, find a good place near you,” Jared added.
Jeff took that opportunity to cuff the back of Jared's head. “How ‘bout you? Still think you can take me?”
Jared shrugged, “I can take you, anytime, anywhere.”
Jeff put his fists up, starting with a jab. Jensen was up and angled to take Jeff down in seconds. His hands hanging deceptively loosely at his side. He was five feet away but Jared knew that Jensen could have Jeff pinned to the ground before any of them blinked. Jared shook his head slightly and looked at Jeff. “You wanna spar? Bring it.” And with that he threw a left hook right cross combo, the blows not quite making contact but promising damage if Jared had intended it.
The sparring match went on for a good fifteen minutes, trash talk and kids rooting for one brother or the other until Jared ended it with a leg sweep to bring him down and using Jeff's weight and height against him pinned him. Jared stood up and offered Jeff a hand. “Okay, so maybe the kid who owns a gym does have a few moves this old football coach doesn’t but I still got some game.”
“But you lost.” Jensen added, not particularly helpfully.
Jeff laughed “I like him so much better than that last guy. Definitely a keeper.” Then he called his kids in to come get washed up for dinner.
Moments later Jared and Jensen were alone in the yard. Jared looked over to see Jensen, locked in position.
He moved quickly. “Hey, we were sparring, like you and I do? He’s my brother, he wasn’t gonna hurt me.”
Jensen rolled his eyes. “I know that. You could have taken him down on the fourth move when you had one arm around his neck and your hand on his shoulder. You moved your hand, let him slip out. And then after he took you down you could have rolled him right there and pinned him but you let him up again.”
“You were paying really close attention.”
Jensen shrugged. “If I had to help I wanted to be ready.”
Jared crooked a finger into Jensen's waistband and pulled him closer. “You’re not my guard dog.” He whispered against Jensen's ear and then lowered his mouth to nibble at that spot just below Jensen's ear. He was rewarded with a stuttered sigh. “Do we have to go to dinner?”
“My mother’s been cooking all day, and my grandparents are coming.”
“There are already too many people here.”
Jared put his hands on Jensen's hips and pulled their bodies together, rocking slightly against Jensen, and kissing his neck as the sun dipped lower in the sky, until everything looked like it was in shades of blue.
Jensen let out a sound Jared recognized as more than need, it was almost distress. He pulled back. “You okay?”
Jensen shrugged. “I know I keep messing up.”
“No you don’t. Everyone likes you.”
Jensen stared at the ground and Jared put a finger under his chin, lifting his gaze. “You know that no one’s mad at you, right?”
Jensen nodded. “I guess.”
“You wanna leave? I know we said we’d stay tomorrow night but if it’s too much we can leave tonight, after dinner”
Jensen fell forward and hugged Jared. “Please. God, yes, please.”
Jared held Jensen and tried to figure out what had been so horrible that Jensen was desperate to get out of there.
He whispered to him, soft mumbled words of encouragement and then he heard his father calling everyone to the table. “Hey, it’s just dinner. We’ll get on the road at nine, be home by midnight.”
Jensen nodded and followed Jared into the house.
Dinner was Padalecki standard, the food was good, the conversations were many and loud and all happening at the same time.
Jared was seated between his grandmother and Jensen. Jensen was buffered by Blake’s high chair and then Megan who seemed perfectly content to keep a running commentary with Blake about what a good girl she was. Dinner went by relatively quickly and after the dishes were cleared Jensen went upstairs. Jared announced their plans to leave early and although his mother expressed disappointment no one really questioned it, at least not out loud. They were packing, barely speaking, Jared felt like they were sneaking out in some covert operation. Yeah, this had not gone as Jared had hoped. But then, it hadn’t been as bad as he’d feared either.
:::-:::-:::
Once they’d merged onto the highway Jared had expected Jensen to relax a little, but he’d just put in his ear buds and stared ahead, watching the mile markers pass. Jared started to say something several times but he had no idea what to say. He knew one thing, he’d fucked up, and he wasn’t sure how, and he didn’t know how to fix it.
A light drizzle started and he just kept driving listening to the rhythmic squeaking of the windshield wipers.
They got home, greeted Sadie, unloaded the bags and this was the part when they were supposed to sigh in relief, be themselves again, but Jensen was still tense, taking a seat at the table to read. Jared unpacked everything, putting each bottle of shampoo and pair of socks in their appropriate place. He tucked his duffle away in the closet; he walked to the refrigerator to stare into its depths looking for answers in the cheese and juice. Finally he sat across from Jensen
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Can we, um… what’s going on?”
Jensen's eyes snapped up, meeting his for the first time since dinner. “Nothing.”
“Okay, so…”
Jensen stood up, in a fighting stance, his fists balled.
Jared stepped up, only inches between their chests. “You wanna take a swing?”
Jensen dropped his gaze. “No.”
“So…”
“So if you didn’t think it was safe why did you make me go there? I didn’t want to go. I was okay staying here but you said it would be okay. You said!”
Jared didn’t know where the outburst was coming from. “Jensen, it was safe, you were safe.”
Jensen shook his head. “I know when you’re worried Jared. You think I’m an idiot, but I know you.”
“I don’t think you’re an idiot.”
Jensen ignored him. “I’ve seen you cross the gym in like four strides when you think someone’s getting too close to me or that some other guys are gonna stop sparring and start spilling blood. I know what you look like when you’re trying to shield the world from me, and you were like that all weekend. Every time I moved, you tensed. I’m not safe around your family.
Jared sat back down, slumped down is a better word. He couldn’t deny anything Jensen had just said. He’d spent all weekend treating Jensen like an IED, no wonder he felt like one.
Jared only knew one way to fix this. “Jensen, I fucked up.”
Jensen looked up again. “What?”
“I knew you wouldn’t be comfortable there. I know you kind of like your routine and that this was gonna fuck with it, but I handled it wrong. I tried to make everything okay for you.”
Jensen shook his head. “but it was never gonna be okay for me with like a hundred people I don’t know, some of them tiny, they could get hurt easy, loud dinners that were less organized than a prison mess hall, and this is your family, you knew it was gonna be like that. Why did you bring me?”
“Because I love you.”
Jensen paced behind the sofa. “If you loved me you’d have left me here.”
Jared stood up, because fuck up or no fuck up; some things had to be addressed immediately. He stood directly in Jensen's path, hands on his shoulders and then sliding down his arms, stopping to squeeze his wristbands. “I may have screwed things up but don’t you ever doubt that I love you.”
Jensen looked up at him, real concern in his eyes. “Love won’t be enough to fix this.” He used a tone Jared hadn’t heard in a long time. Quiet. Defeated.
Jared felt jagged shards of air fill his lungs, so he knew he wasn’t dead but he was a little dazed. It was hard to focus. Jensen was stronger than anyone gave him credit for. Jensen was so many things and right now, Jensen was breaking up with him. He felt the air leave his body too, and with it, most of his strength. He sat on the couch and only after a few seconds did he realize he’d never let go of Jensen. He was sitting here, squeezing Jensen's wrist with a death grip like he could just physically keep him here. Like anything they had meant a damn thing if they weren’t both on the same page.
Jensen twisted his wrist away and Jared let it go. Jensen asked quietly, “what do we do now?”
Jared didn’t know what to say but he had to try, he couldn’t just let the best part of every day, the best thing in his life just walk away. “I don’t want you to leave.” He knew it was practically begging, but his pride was a minor worry now.
Jensen turned to him. “Can you live like that? Can you live with someone your family hates? Just ignore me when you go see them and ignore them when you’re here with me, someone who’d hurt those people?”
Jared turned and stared at Jensen, his heartbeat steadying to a reasonable pace. “You think that because this weekend wasn’t a stellar success we’re over?”
Jensen nodded, it was a tiny gesture and Jared wanted to laugh, to whoop with joy, he’d fucked up the weekend, he’d been the worst dom in the history of doms but he hadn’t lost Jensen. He hugged Jensen, feeling the air whoosh out of him against his ear and still not having the strength to let him go just yet. Eventually he loosened his grip and felt Jensen's arms around him.
“I don’t have to leave?” it was asked quietly against Jared's neck. He shook his head, pulled back and kissed Jensen.
“God no, you don’t have to leave. We need to have a talk though, clearly, because this right here, my heart can’t take it.”
Jared pulled away and sat back on the couch pulling Jensen with him 'til Jensen's back was against Jared's chest and Jared's arms were around his waist. He felt Jensen's muscles start to relax for the first time since they’d begun packing.
Jared just sat for a minute, Jensen's head against his chest, his fingers playing with Jared's. “I’m so sorry Jensen.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s really not. This is my fault.”
“No, it’s because I’m no good with people.” Jensen let go of Jared's hand and went to playing with the loose material of his jeans. “I never know what they want.”
“But you always know what I want.”
“No, I don’t, but when I get it wrong you tell me.”
Continue to Part 2
Author:Vamphile
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word Count: 12,500 +/-
Summary Jared and Jensen spend a long weekend with Jared's family
A/N: I’m severely nervous about this because I haven’t posted fic in like 18 months so feedback would be appreciated.
TKO Visit With The Parents
Jensen had finished his morning beat down on Jared's gym equipment and stepped out of the bathroom, hair still damp from the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of Jared's sweatpants riding low on his hips and his wrist cuff and watch.
Jared had tried several times to convince Jensen to buy his own workout gear but Jensen just shrugged away the suggestion. Until he finally just admitted, “I like yours” and since Jared was just caveman enough to like Jensen like that he, had come to appreciate the way they rested just under the cut of his hip and pooled at his ankles, he’d let it go. Today, it wasn’t even on his top ten list of things to worry about. The first seven of those ten slots were taken up with the same request.
When Jensen sat down, blowing across a cup of black coffee, Jared put what he was reading aside. “I’m going to see my parents for the long weekend. Leaving Friday morning, coming back late Monday.” Jensen hummed his acknowledgement. It was no small thing that Jensen was now comfortable alone at home. After he’d moved in with Jared he’d lived like a guest for so long but it had been two years, and Jared had been up to see his parents at least a dozen times, so he hadn’t expected a fight on that, but this next part might get tricky.
“I want you to come with me.”
Jensen looked up, eyes wide. “I didn’t agree to this. Did I agree to this? I don’t think I agreed to this.”
“Can you agree to it now?”
“I’m working three of those four days.”
“And how many days does Benny owe you for covering when someone else needed a day off?”
“I get three days off a week. Benny doesn’t owe me anything.”
Jared would laugh if this weren’t so important to him, and in the long run, to Jensen. Jensen was excellent at diversionary tactics. So now they could argue about days off, and paid leave and in the end accomplish nothing? Jared didn’t think so. He focused back on the real question at hand.
“My brother will be there with his wife and kids, and my sister with her husband and the new baby. I’d like you to be there too”.
“So it’s not just you your mom and dad, it’s an entire house full of people? No.”
“Jensen.”
“Jared, no. I have to work and if I went… I mean… I don’t want to hurt anybody and especially not your family. You wouldn’t be able to… I don’t want to…” there was a catch in Jensen's voice. Those were rarer these days.
“What, what don’t you want?”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Jared interlaced his fingers with Jensen's. “Hey, you’re not going to lose me. And you’re not going to hurt anybody.”
Jared understood it all intellectually, and he’d managed to help Jensen get past some of the barriers. He occasionally joined Jared and Bowie and Michelle for drinks, even bigger success he occasionally sparred with other members, and as much as Jared understood Jensen's concern, respected it, he knew it wasn’t a reasonable fear. Jensen was good with children, he’d never hurt Jared's nieces or nephews, and he had a pretty strong feeling Jensen wasn’t about to go off on any of his family but just promising Jensen that wasn’t going to convince him of it. Didn’t keep him from trying though.
Jensen gripped Jared's hand. “You don’t know that.”
“I do, and hey, if you wanna go off on someone I nominate Jeff. He’s got three inches on me and was the one who taught me how to wrestle in the first place.”
Jensen tilted his head and huffed out a breath. “It’s funny how you always act like you can take me. You know I’d have you pinned to the mat in less than a minute.”
“Yeah, but I know a lot of tricks to get you to let me up.”
“You know a trick other than y’know, telling me to? Cause that’s the only one I’ve seen you use.”
“Do I really have to wrestle you to the ground and make you go?”
Jensen shook his head. “If you say we’re going, we’re going, but… Jared, please…”
Jared stood up, moving to Jensen's side of the table. “Please what?”
“Please don’t let me hurt anyone?”
Jared tugged Jensen up into a hug. “You know I won’t, even if I have to use my black belt in telling you what to do.”
Jensen laughed a little more comfortably “and you promise your brother can defend himself?”
“Against twin four year old boys, so you’re no real competition.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you Jensen.”
Jensen's head was buried in Jared's shoulder. “Don’t thank me yet.”
Jared held him tighter. So now all he had to do was get Jensen through four days with his family. Maybe they’d leave late on Friday, cut it to three days. Not because he thought for a minute that Jensen would hurt his family but because he did think that Jensen's stress levels might hit the red zone. Jensen liked a few hours of solitary peace daily, that wasn’t exactly a Padalecki specialty.
:::-:::-:::
Jensen spent the rest of the week obsessing over the upcoming trip. “How long’s the drive again?”
“Three hours. Jensen, we’ll be alone in the car, just you and me, nothing scary about three hours alone with me, right?”
“But if something happens…”
Jared kissed him, his hands gripping Jensen's biceps. “Nothing’s gonna happen.”
“But an accident or a flat tire…”
“We call triple A or just change the tire.”
“What if I have to drive?”
“So you drive. You can drive.” He could and Jared knew he didn’t like to but also knew he was licensed and able. “Three hours in a car with me and I’d think you’d be desperate to get out, even if it’s just to meet my mother.”
Jensen shrugged turning to pick up his iPod before leaving for work. “You’re not so bad.”
Jared nodded and headed back to the gym. ‘Not so bad’ was pretty much the best he was gonna get until Monday night when they were back here and he was no longer inflicting such evil plans as meeting the in-laws on Jensen. They had an arrangement that worked, no doubt, for both of them, but that didn’t mean Jensen was always gonna love every thing and in truth, Jared was happier to have Jensen expressing his concern. For one, it’s a far better option than Jensen letting it bottle up and come out somewhere else, and honestly, Jensen had brought up a few points Jared might have overlooked. Helped Jared to plan ahead.
He wanted Jensen to meet his parents for altruistic reasons. He wanted Jensen to be accepted as an in-law, as part of the tribe. He wanted Jensen to have his family, since he didn’t have one of his own, and Jared could justify this trip that way a thousand times but it didn’t help the small niggling worm that reminded him that so far, only his brother had met Jensen, when he’d come into town for an expo and his mother had made it pretty clear that the entire family would descend soon if he didn’t bring “that young man of yours up this weekend. He’s lived with you for two years and I’ve never even heard his voice. Jared, we’re worried about you.”
So this was for him too.
And that made him selfish, putting Jensen through this just so he could get his family off his back, but as he turned over in his head, checking it from all sides, while he worked on his footwork, he couldn’t find a way that this wasn’t inevitable and he knew it was safe. He’d make damn sure of it.
“Picking up bad habits from your boy now?”
Jared looked up as Bowie finished off a bottle of some triple caffeinated sugar filled energy drink.
Jared flipped his sweat damp hair off his face. “What?”
“You, looking to kill something and that’s the longest I’ve ever seen you work like that without stopping to guide or train a member.”
Jared shrugged and took the bottle of water Bowie was offering him. “Nothing serious, Jensen’s comin’ with me to meet the folks.”
Bowie let out a long whistle. “That’s been a long time coming.”
“No shit.”
“Man, I don’t even wanna know how you convinced him to do that.”
“Yeah, well, Meg’s coming in with the new baby. Haven’t seen her since Blake was born and now she’s goin’ on six months, it’s time.”
“Yeah, I hear ya. Meeting Michelle’s parents was no walk in the park, and I didn’t have a prison record and visible tattoos.”
“Yeah, but you manage to send off that thug vibe anyway. Plus we fight, that’s all anyone ever seems to get out of the owning a gym thing.”
“Bouncer reads the same you know.”
“I’m not worried about what my family’s gonna think of him.”
“Liar.”
“Maybe.” Jared had made his way to the office and sprawled into the easy chair. Bowie sat at the desk.
“So what happens if your family doesn’t like him, you’re a grown ass man, right? Or is this going to turn into some kind of gay Romeo and Juliet?”
“Well, seeing as he doesn’t have any family to disapprove, we can rule out the Romeo and Juliet scenario, most likely just boring family drama but my family just isn’t the dramatic type, I think it’ll realistically be a lot more emails phone calls and visits to ‘see how I’m doing’.” Jared actually used the air quotes.
“Yeah, that I can see, well, hey, tell Jeff I said hi and keep your guard up.”
Jared nodded, finished his water and headed down to the floor to work with some of the members. There was a new guy wandering around so Jared grabbed a membership packet too.
:::-:::-:::
Jensen went back in the house for the third time and Jared dropped his head on the steering wheel. It was almost four. They were heading out of the city so the traffic wouldn’t be too bad, but he didn’t want to show up too late. Jensen returned, and climbed in with his backpack heavier than Jared had ever seen it.
Packing had been an ordeal of its own. Three and a half days of laid back family time, (even if Jared probably wouldn’t be laid back for much of it) wasn’t hard to pack for, but Jensen first insisted in fitting everything he needed in his backpack, including clothes and books, which was just stupid. Jared moved Jensen's clothes to his duffle bag, leaving Jensen room for more books and all the other sundries Jensen needed to feel safe. He had some of their favorite DVD’s and his laptop packed too, in case sleeping was an issue, (and it would be, it was an issue). He knew Jensen had loaded his iPod with books and packed six actual paper versions and his kindle, (last year’s Christmas present). They should be fine but Jensen kept going back to check that everything was locked. It was starting to irritate Sadie, who was fine with them leaving, but the leaving and coming back and leaving and coming back had her whining. Jensen made a move to get out and Jared grabbed his wrist and shook his head.
“We’re leaving now unless you can give me a real reason why you need to go back inside.”
“Um, what if Sadie needs…”
“Bowie will be by in two hours to check on her. He and Michelle are gonna hang out here tomorrow night to give her quality time and check on her through out the day. Any other reasons?”
Jensen bit his lip letting it slide out from between his teeth. His lip was red and swollen from how often he’d been doing that in the last couple of days. Jared pulled him closer, kissed him and let one hand span Jensen's thigh pressing into one of the many marks he’d left last night. Jensen had been insatiable, the way he sometimes was before Jared had to go to an out of town overnight expo, or to visit his folks, the way he was when something was bothering him and he needed a little more than the wristband to remember who he belonged to, who loved him, who had his back. Jared had been happy to do it… to a point. They were eventually gonna have to talk about Jensen and pain, Jared put it near the top of his ongoing list of things he kept in mind when he was with Jensen. He didn’t take his commitment lightly, and you know, he fucking loved this man. This man who was currently driving him crazy.
Jensen had reciprocated happily kissing Jared, pushing him back into his seat, leaning into him, as if the both of them could actually do something in the drivers side of an old bronco, they couldn’t but not for lack of trying on Jensen's part. Jared kept kissing him, his hands now firmly on Jensen's shoulders. “’c’mon Jensen, plenty of time for that once we get there.”
That seemed to shut Jensen up and Jared pulled out onto road and headed towards the highway. “Your iPod or mine?”
“Mine’s all books.”
“We can listen to a book, you’ll just have to load the file onto the laptop or tell me how it ends if we don’t get to finish it.”
Jensen parked his iPod in the dock navigating to a specific folder. “This is short stories by Wodehouse. I think they’re funny.”
Jared nodded. He’d really be okay listening to Jack London again if it calmed Jensen down.
:::-:::-:::
A little more than three hours later they were parked in front of Jared's parents’ house. He didn’t bother to knock, just poked his head in and called out hello. Jared's mother greeted them at the door, his brother and sister behind her, and their kids following behind loudly. His father came in, probably from the backyard and it took every thing in Jared's power not to just bark at them all to get the hell back. He was used to being mauled by an unruly mob of family but he could feel Jensen's death grip on the back of his t-shirt and then as his brother in law joined the cheerful greetings Jensen released that grip. Jared’s hand moved quickly to grab Jensen by the wrist before he went back to the car. Great, he’d already fucked up. He smiled over his aggravation and moved two steps inside the house, his shoulders square, his stance wide. Everyone backed away a little to give him room and turned their attention to Jensen. Jared grabbed the duffle bag and moved with purpose. “Give us a minute to get our stuff out of the way, we’ll be down soon. He turned to his mother. “My room?” She nodded and he practically dragged Jensen up the steps and into his old room. He was surprised his mother hadn’t turned it into a nursery yet, but grateful too.
He dropped the duffle on the floor and threw everything else on the bed turning his attention to Jensen who was standing in the door frame looking confused. “Where do I…?”
“Here, with me, I know a full sized bed isn’t exactly ideal but it beats camping out in the garage.”
“Here with you, but… they’ll…they’ll know.” Jensen was still doing that nervous rocking from one foot to the other but at least he was meeting Jared's gaze.
“Jensen, you know they already know, it’s not a secret. We live together.”
“But I could just be your roommate or…”
“Jensen, our house has no walls and only one bed, they know.”
“But… then why… I mean how come…”
“Why are they still speaking to me? How come they haven’t beaten me, disowned me, reported me to my church?”
Jared pulled Jensen into the room and closed the door behind them.
“Jared, don’t.” Jensen hissed with urgency. And Jared actually considered the option of packing the car back up and jetting. Fuck his parents wanting to meet him. Fuck that, Jared wanted him to meet his parents. If this was gonna throw Jensen this badly, maybe it was just a bad fuckin’ idea. Jared guided Jensen to sit on the bed. He crouched between Jensen's knees. Resting one hand on his thigh and one on the side of Jensen's face. “Jen, they’ve known since I was in college. They know, and they’re okay with it.
Jensen wasn’t quite making Jared's eye. “Do they know it’s me?”
“They’ve known about you for a while. I talk to my family about my life, and Jen, you’re a big part of my life.”
Jensen went a little pale, shaking his head. “So they know, they know about… me, and prison? They know about Sig and how stupid I am. How I barely know…”
“Hey, hey! You’re not stupid, and no they don’t know about Sig, that’s nobody’s business but ours. They know you made a mistake when you were mourning over your father’s death and you ended up in jail…”
“Prison.” Jensen corrected him, like he always did when he thought the distinction mattered. “I ended up in Prison.”
“Right, and they know that and they are okay with all of it as long as you make me happy, and you do, you know, every day, so we’re gonna go downstairs, eat some dessert, hopefully pie because my mother makes the best caramel apple pie on the planet, and we’ll spend time with the kids. They’ll be sticky and loud and then they’ll go to bed, and we can claim an early day go to bed.” Jared squeezed Jensen's thigh.
“Not here.” Jensen practically launched himself off the bed. Jared watched Jensen pace the room while he considered the logistics of all of this. The bed at home was a California king, and this full sized mattress was gonna have difficulty just holding them both let alone giving them room to do anything interesting.
“Yeah, mattress may be a little small for anything fun.”
Jensen turned and he was more than scared now, he was frustrated and close to tears which was rare for Jensen.
“Hey, I promise I’ll make it up to you when we get home.”
“Jared, you can’t touch me like that here. Not with your family around, what if they hear, or see, or…”
Jared pulled Jensen close. It was kind of second nature to him now. Whatever rational issues had to be dealt with, Jensen could usually hear them better when Jared was wrapped around him. Jared cupped the back of Jensen's head while Jensen pressed his face into Jared's neck. “No one is going to make fun of you, or be cruel to you because you’re gay, Jen. They don’t put up with that shit in this house, and even if they did, I don’t.”
“But they’re your family.” Jensen murmured it, refusing to lift his head.
“So’re you. Now let’s go downstairs and get this thing started, the sooner we do that, the sooner you can be back in the car listening to a book and heading home.”
Jensen nodded, took a deep breath.
Jared reached to take Jensen's hand, but it wasn’t being offered. Jared wanted to take it, to hold it and let Jensen see how little his family cared, but what Jared wanted most was for Jensen to feel comfortable, so he respected Jensen's unspoken request and walked down stairs, Jensen following behind.
He smiled as he headed into the family room. Megan was on the couch holding Blake, her six year old son Jonah was on the floor, coloring. His twin cousins, four year old boys were doing their best to break every crayon in the box. They seemed to be a tactical strike team.
Jeff was in the easy chair, his six year old daughter, Susie, reading to him on his lap. Jeff's wife was sitting in the matching wing chair and occasionally reigning her boys in when they got too noisy.
Jared’s father was at the other end of the sofa, half listening to the television, half listening to Jeff talk about some upgrade he was planning for his car’s suspension system. Jared sat down next to his dad leaving plenty of room for Jensen.
Jensen sat on the floor by Jared's knee. Jared's hand fell effortlessly to Jensen's head, stroking his fingers through his hair and gently massaging the back of his neck. When he realized this was only comfortable and familiar because it’s how Sadie sat when he and Jensen were on the couch and she was on the floor he pulled his hand back like it was on fire. “Jensen, there’s room on the couch.”
Jensen was not his pet and he didn’t want anyone thinking otherwise. He’d had clingy boyfriends before, Jensen wasn’t clingy and he sure as hell wasn’t Jared's pet.
Jensen was looking up at him trying to gauge his mood and meaning. Jared just smiled. “C’mon it’ll be better for your back.” Jensen sat next to Jared; ramrod straight not a part of him touching Jared, his eyes fixed forward at the far wall. Jared sighed, this weekend was gonna be rough.
Jared had called the evening right though, pie, a production of putting a lot of kids to bed, and then Jared made their apologies. He didn’t take Jensen right upstairs though. “C’mere, wanna show you something.”
Jensen nodded and Jared walked him out the side door to a car port the opened onto the back yard. “My dad hung that when I started working out. I had kind of a temper when I was a kid, so they put me in every sport you can imagine. Only football and wrestling really took…” Jared shrugged. “Just figured you might wake up earlier than I do tomorrow.”
Jensen nodded hitting it full force once just to test it. It swung but not too far. Jensen smiled in the low glow of the single exterior light, “yeah.”
Jared moved him further into the shadows and kissed him. “There’s tape in my duffle bag. If you don’t tape up you’re hands, you’re not gonna like what happens next.”
Jensen nodded again. “I promise.” They went upstairs, Jared was nowhere near tired and Jensen barely slept under the best circumstances, Jared tried several times to at least make out with his boyfriend but after the third try and being pushed away like an aggressive teenager he put a DVD into the player and just laid in bed watching things blow up. Jared eventually fell asleep.
:::-:::-:::
When he woke up in the morning he looked out the window and there in the carport was Jensen beating the holy hell out of the old fashioned Everlast heavy bag. Jared taped up his own hands, heading downstairs. He’d planned on holding the bag for Jensen but Jeff was already there doing it for him, the same way he’d done it for Jared, except holding against the force of Jared in High school vs. the full force of Jensen's morning aggression release was a whole different ballgame and with a full time job and two four year old boys, he guessed Jeff didn’t have time to work out like he’d used to.
Jared nodded towards Jeff and came in slowly to Jensen's right. He didn’t really worry anymore about Jensen losing track and taking someone out before he could think about it, but he also wasn’t sure what happened when you took him completely out of his comfort zone. He wasn’t even sure Jensen registered the change in personnel at first but the third hit was harder, much harder. Jensen had been holding back. Jared wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
Jeff was still standing next to him, watching Jensen with a critical eye. “Not a big talker, huh?”
Jared shrugged. “Not really, no.”
“Hell of a form though.”
“He gets a lot of practice in.”
“Plus he’s a bouncer.”
“More about looking like you can than having to do much.”
Jeff moved a little closer to Jared and Jared felt the force of the kick that he thought might be aimed at what Jensen perceived as a threat. Jensen was mostly primeval thought process before his morning coffee which came after his morning workout. Jeff hadn’t noticed the increased force so Jared just braced himself against it and kept half his attention on Jensen and turned slightly to Jeff, raising an eyebrow.
“Can he even hear us right now?”
Jared rolled his eyes. “He can hear us, he can see us, he’s not a robot, he just likes to work out in the morning.”
“But… I mean…”
Jensen moved in closer, pummeling the bag with his fists. “I can hear you. If you want me to stop just say so.”
“No, man, I just don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so focused.”
Jensen didn’t bother to respond he just took a step back and started working on an overhand right spinback left fist. Jeff nodded, impressed, but Jared knew Jensen didn’t notice, eventually Jeff pointed towards the door. “Gonna help Julie with the kids.”
It was only a little after seven and Jensen was kicking, over and over and over and Jared almost shouted in terror as a small form threw itself full force punching near the bottom of the bag. Jensen immediately stopped kicking and started punching again, letting Suzie stand between him and the bag, punching at it 'til Jensen crouched down. “Put your weight on your back leg and punch all the way through. Can I show you?”
Suzie nodded as Jensen adjusted her stance and then guided her hand through the blow. “That’s good. Keep practicing that.”
Jared was still holding the bag but he knew he was also grinning like a maniac. Jensen was so afraid of hurting people but he just never came close.
Jared and Jensen coached Suzie for a while, Jensen showing the proper stance and weight shift for a kick. Jared adding pointers and standing behind the bag. Fifteen minutes later the twins came in and tried to be like their older sister, who told them they were both stupid babies, which made them cry, and then jump on Suzie together. Jared pulled one of them off and Jensen was looking to Jared for help. He stood back, clearly not sure what to do as Suzie and the other twin scrabbled on the grass.
When Jared had two kicking and yelling boys under his arms Jeff showed up with a cup of coffee and laughed.
“I think we still have weights, you don’t need to use my kids.”
Jared shrugged, “this works.”
Jeff held up his coffee. “Trade you.”
Jared smiled and handed off Aaron or Alec, he wasn’t sure which, to Jeff and took the coffee.
“Jensen, there’s coffee in the kitchen” Jeff added.
Jensen nodded but didn’t move. Jared put the significantly more calm kid down on the grass and looked over at Suzie who was now yelling some sort of karate thing before kicking the bag again.” Be good.”
Jared and Jensen moved further away to an old weight set. Jensen tested the bench, silently piling weights onto the bar, when it reached one seventy five Jared took a long gulp of coffee and shook his head. “Let’s keep it below one fifty today, okay?”
Jensen nodded and made the adjustment. Jared pulled the bench away from the wall so they had space and spotted Jensen. By the time Megan was downstairs with the baby Jensen had done almost twice the number of reps he usually did in the morning but with lighter weights, so Jared figured it evened out. Everyone else was discussing breakfast; Jared tugged Jensen with him as they headed back upstairs. This next part might be an issue. He wasn’t sure.
When they were safely ensconced back in Jared's room he let Jensen have the first shower. Jensen opened the door, stared at the room, stared back at Jared and stood frozen, folding the loose fabric at the thigh of his sweatpants over and back, letting go and then doing it again. This one Jared knew, this was the public shower issue. “That door locks.” He pointed towards the bathroom door that opened into the hallway. “This one doesn’t anymore, old locks, so the question is where do you want me?”
Jensen checked the door to the hallway, it was locked. He nodded to himself. He stood outside the bathroom, walked out of the bedroom for a second, seemingly checking angles of entry from all areas, and then stood inside the bathroom, taking in its size and Jared's size and he closed the bedroom door, pulled the old desk chair to the middle of the wall between the bedroom door and the bathroom door and left the bathroom door open. “Like that.”
Jared nodded and handed Jensen a couple of towels. The hot water ran. Jared knew from experience it was scorchingly hot water. Turned Jensen's skin red. At some point, before Jensen had even moved in, but when he’d been working out and showering at Jared's almost every day, Jared had lowered the temperature on the hot water heater. It had been the day after Jensen had almost blistered his skin. Jared, controlling guy that he was, still knew Jensen better than to try and adjust the temperature today. Besides, Jensen would be taking the world’s fastest shower, that much he knew for sure. And, as predicted, the steam had hardly had time to start to swirl before Jensen was out of the shower. His hair was still wet when he was dressed. Jared waited 'til he was sitting on the bed opening up a book to kiss him. “We have to go downstairs when I’m done showering, okay?”
Jensen nodded and Jared stole another kiss, still barely a peck before he showered.
By the time they made it down to the kitchen Jared's mother had already cleaned up what she described as hurricane Padalecki, the next generation. Jared gave her a peck on the cheek. “I’ll make coffee.”
She motioned over to the machine, “make a lot. Strong.”
Jared nodded and moved Jensen over to the machine, “twelve scoops.”
Jensen nodded.
The coffee was brewing and Jared was leaning against the counter talking to his mom. When the coffee was made he poured three large mugs full, added sugar to his, handed Jensen one mug and left the other on the counter by his mother. He sat down at the kitchen table close enough so that his foot could reach out and tap on Jensen's, far enough away that Jensen's eyes had stopped darting around trying to keep track of his surroundings and making sure no one suspected that they were a couple. Jared knew this had to be addressed but not here, this morning, in his parent’s kitchen, but soon.
“So, Jensen, you work at Benny's? You know Jared's father and I used to go there on Friday nights when we were dating. I had a friend who sang in a band there.”
Jensen took a deep gulp of coffee and smoothed out the placemat. “I think it was probably nicer then.”
Jared's mother laughed. “Oh I doubt it. Scratched wooden floors, half the place taken up by a bar, noisy, smoky, giant steaks and the best eggplant parmesan I’ve ever had.”
Jensen nodded once. “Yeah, but no smoking anymore. Makes it hard sometimes.”
“Oh, do you smoke?”
Jensen was still staring down at the table. “No, I’m a bouncer.”
“So, the smoking… ohhhhh, because you let people in, and then they go outside to smoke, and then you have to let them in again.”
Jensen almost smiled, but nodded. “Yes ma’am. Benny used to use stamps, but you can just transfer them to someone else by licking you hand and…. “ Jensen motioned with his two hands to show how they could be pressed together to transfer a stamp, and then, as if realizing he’d done something wrong his hands clamped back on the coffee cup.
“But he doesn’t use stamps anymore?”
Jensen shook his head. “Now we use those bracelets, different colors for different nights, that works better, I think.”
“They didn’t do much carding when I went there, but my friends and I used to pick a very bright and garment, like an orange scarf or a huge pin, and then we’d pass it back out and the next girl would come in, swearing she’d already been carded, usually the guy didn’t remember the girl but remembered the scarf and once we were all in, we’d be all set.”
Jensen gave a half smile. “That wouldn’t work today.”
“No, I don’t suppose it would, but it worked then, and if it wasn’t for that trick I probably would never have gotten drunk enough to let Jared's father kiss me.”
Jared's dropped his face into his hand. “Mom, no one, I mean, no one wants to hear gross stories about you sneaking into bars and letting guys kiss you. You’re a grandmother for the love of god, you have five grandchildren.”
“Would the story be okay if I only had three grandchildren?”
Jared gave in and laughed. “Your goal is to traumatize us all isn’t it?”
“It’s every parent’s goal.”
“I’m going to the living room, Jensen, want to join me?”
He knew from his expression that Jensen did not want to go to the living room, where many more members of the family were located but ne nodded anyway, took the last gulp of his coffee, rinsed the mug out and was looking for soap before Jared's mother shooed him away.
They were all going out to dinner tonight but for the day Jared's father had declared a day of no work. Jared remembered his father doing these occasionally when Jeff had been about thirteen or so, old enough to prefer hanging out with his friends than his family. So occasionally, they all dropped everything and spent time together doing nothing. It worked. There was talk of going out to the state park, about twenty minutes north, walking the trails, but Megan wasn’t sure how well the stroller would do on the trails, they considered all the family oriented things they could do and in the end, came to no decision, which was what usually happened so the boys were playing some game that only Jonah seemed to understand the rules to, possibly because he was making them up as he went along, and Megan handed Blake off to Jared's mom leaving she and her husband free to go out back and not have kids in their face for the first time in a long time. Jeff was sitting on the couch, so was his dad. Jensen headed upstairs. “I’m gonna go finish my book.”
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Come down for lunch?”
Jensen shrugged. “If I’m hungry.”
Jensen hadn’t eaten breakfast, he couldn’t go three days without eating but Jared didn’t say a thing; he’d worry about it when it became an issue. He wasn’t going to force anything to the surface when things were almost okay. He sat back in the easy chair and felt his family’s eyes on him without needing to look.
“So, Jensen…” Jeff started.
“He’s very handsome” his mother this time.
“Yeah, he is” Jared agreed.
“Bit quiet though.” His dad added.
“Yep, think about what’d be like to have two of me in my place. Had to find a quiet one.”
“So you like him.” Jared didn’t know why that made him kinda wants smack his brother.
“No I’ve been living with him for two years because he bugs the crap out of me.”
“We’re just…”
Jared looked over at his mom “worried about me? I get that, I do, but I’m fine, he’s okay, we’re good, and he came, he just… he doesn’t like family events. His family, well…he wasn’t as lucky as I was.”
“Was it the gay thing?” Jeff asked.
Jared shook his head. “It’s a complicated story that isn’t mine to tell. He just needs a little bit of space and quiet sometimes, so I’m trying to give him that.”
“Here, in this house? Are you insane?”
Jared huffed out a small laugh at his father’s question. “It’s distinctly possible that I am.”
“Well, good, then we raised you right.”
Jared looked lazily over at the TV. “Is there a game on or maybe some cars driving around really fast or something?”
Jared's dad started flipping through the channels 'til he found the Cardinals game, it was at the bottom of the second, 1 - 0. Jared listened more than he watched as he leaned back to stare at the ceiling and plan the next few days, searching carefully for land mines he might have overlooked.
:::-:::-:::
Jared fell asleep somewhere near the fifth inning and by the time he woke up, the game was over. He played on the floor with the twins for a while, one eye constantly on the staircase, waiting for Jensen to come down. His mother offered him a sandwich and he followed her into the kitchen. “You haven’t slept like that since you were in high school and sneaking out in the middle of the night.”
Jared took a bite out of an apple and nodded when his mother held up Swiss cheese for his sandwich. “I promise I wasn’t out all night.”
“No, I’m not sure you’d fit out those narrow windows these days.”
Jared stuck his chest out while he rolled his eyes. “Not a kid anymore, had more important things to do than drink a stolen six pack down by the pump house.”
“Like look after Jensen.”
“He’s a grown man, he can look after himself.”
Jared's mother put the sandwich on the table and as he sat she ran a hand over his head. “You know, when you were a kid, you were always bringing home the kids that everyone else was picking on.”
“No one picks on Jensen.” Jared didn’t add it’s my job to make sure of that, but he felt it just the same.
“I’m sure no one does.”
Jared just shoved another large bite of sandwich into his mouth. He really really wanted a new topic.
His mother started telling him about a new book she’d read that she thought Jared would like and he listened with half an ear, wondering how long Jensen planned to stay upstairs. On the one hand, if he’d fallen asleep, bonus. Anytime Jensen got sleep it was a bonus but on the other hand, Jared knew Jensen and he’d stay holed up where he felt safe all fucking weekend, and the idea of him sleeping in a strange room, in a house full of people he doesn’t know, alone, just didn’t work.
He finished his sandwich, Megan came in holding the baby, which diverted his mother’s attention and Jared went upstairs.
Jensen was sitting on the bed, reading glasses on, halfway through a book. Jared lay down next to him. His arm flung over Jensen's thighs, his face pressed into Jensen's hip. Jensen's muscles went from warily tense to bunched and ready for attack in the few seconds it took Jared to get situated.
“Jared, please.”
“What, I closed the door.”
Jensen sighed, and sat back but his muscles never relaxed and after a minute Jared got up, taking the desk chair. “We’re going to dinner in a couple of hours, and you’ve spent the whole day locked up in my room.”
“You didn’t tell me I wasn’t allowed to be up here.”
Jensen was excellent at following the letter of the law if not the spirit of the thing sometimes. “We’re here to be with my family, they’re not in here.”
“They’re allowed in here too. They can come up if they want.”
“Jensen.” Jared tried to keep the exasperation out of his voice. Jensen just shrugged and opened his book again, “call me when it’s time to leave for dinner.”
Okay, Jared could handle this, Jensen had a bit of a stubborn streak when it came to his solitude and fighting this fight, again in his childhood bedroom with the paper thin walls and most of his immediate family just downstairs seemed pointless. He moved back to the bed, sitting next to Jensen, hip to hip. He rested his hand on Jensen's thigh lightly and felt him almost melt.
“Hey,” Jared whispered “I know this is spooking you but I promise my family doesn’t bite.”
Jensen closed his book and leaned his head against the wall, his eyes closed. “I’ll be better tomorrow, I promise. Just, can we just stay up here right now?”
Jared squeezed Jensen’s thigh in acceptance and picked up the book under the one Jensen was reading; only making it past the summary before deciding it wasn’t his style. Jensen was asleep, Jared didn’t want to move, and so he sat, going over the incredibly loose itinerary for the next two days again.
:::-:::-:::
The restaurant was crowded and full of kids. Everyone had taken their own cars due to car seat issues. It was just a burger joint, but one that was renowned in the area for their large selections of burgers and bottomless fries, add that to the free balloons for kids and you got Saturday night chaos with loud noises and bright colors and occasional high pitched screams. Jensen froze the minute the walked in. Jared took his hand but Jensen twisted it out of Jared's grip, putting Jonah between them as they walked to the table.
Jared's mother, who liked to keep things organized, directed everyone’s seating arrangement and then sat back herself, satisfied. Jensen and Jared were sitting next to each other, Megan on Jensen's left, Jared's mom on Jared's right.
Jared looked around and realized Jensen was gonna feel trapped. He should have started the seating himself instead of letting his mother do it. Fuck. There was no way to say anything quietly to Jensen, or anyone in this milieu. He sat back trying to gauge Jensen's comfort level, but every time he tried for even a casual touch Jensen jerked away. Jared was braced for trouble throughout the meal but in the end it was all okay, and two hours later they were back in their cars.
“We could go to a movie if you wanted, or just go for a drive. Something private.”
“If you want to, I guess.”
“This is one of those things where I’m asking what you want to do.”
“Um, go home.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, you know, all the way home.”
“Oh.”
“Jared, I’m here, I’m doing what you told me to do. Why are you still mad at me?”
“Um, I didn’t tell you to do anything but be here.”
“And I am here. So what else, Jared? I’ll do it just… you know I’m not good at this stuff, I just need to know what you want. I’m good at doing what you want.”
“You’re terrible at doing what I want.”
Jensen didn’t say anything else. When Jared pulled the car into the development he took a right rather than a left. “You’re not terrible at doing what I want. I don’t want to change you, Jensen; I just wish you would let my family get to know you. Maybe tomorrow spend some time downstairs. My mother’s gonna be cooking all day and the game’ll be on, plus the kids, you’re great with them.”
Jensen nodded. “Okay, tomorrow, more time with your family, I can do that.”
Jared pulled the car to a stop at a dead end street that stopped at a well worn path. “This is where I used to go with guys in high school. We’d drink too much beer and jerk each other off.”
Jensen stared at Jared so hard Jared actually thought he might be able to feel it. Then he took Jared's hand. “You got really good at kissing.”
“I know, right?” Jared smiled and Jensen rested his head on Jared's shoulder. Eventually Jared put his hands on either side of Jensen's face and kissed him. It was slow, and thorough. It wasn’t going any further than a kiss but that didn’t mean that Jared wasn’t going to put everything he needed Jensen to know into it. And it seemed to work. Jensen relaxed into it, opening up to Jared's tongue, sliding his own tongue along Jared’s, tilting his head back and just melting into the seat.
When Jared pulled away, biting Jensen's lip a little as he did he felt something tight in his chest loosen a little and smiled. He started the car and when they got back to the house, they went straight to Jared's room, it was almost nine, and Jared convinced himself that was a reasonable adult bedtime.
:::-:::-:::
Jared was up at a little before eight. He looked out the window to find Jensen exactly where he’d expected him to be. He taped up his own hands and joined him, holding the bag, providing more resistance as Jensen continued to ignore all the skills and techniques he’d mastered and just whaled on the damn thing. He was throwing haymakers for god sake, there was almost never a use for those, and round house kicks thrown in with hooks and jabs in no particular order. His face was red, he was sweating, his breathing had gotten more rapid and god help him, Jared just wanted to throw him down on the grass and have him.
Eventually Jensen slowed down and then stopped, his arms hanging at his sides loosely, his eyes dark, almost as dark as when Jared worked him over with his mouth and fingers until he was nothing but a pile of goo, incapable of any coherent thought. He cracked his neck and moved towards the weight bench. Jared joined him. “Hey, work on the free weights while I get you some water.”
“Make it coffee and you’ve got a deal.”
In the kitchen Jared's mother was serving scrambled eggs, pancakes and bacon to everyone. “You’re just in time.”
“Just coffee for now.”
His mother didn’t say anything and Jared didn’t know what to say to his entire family who was currently starting at him like he’d broken some major law. He’d have to worry about them later. He poured two mugs of coffee and snagged a bottle of water for Jensen.
He handed Jensen the water. “This first, then coffee.”
Jensen nodded, downed the water in less than a minute and took the mug from Jared's hand. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. My mom made bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, you want something?”
“Not hungry.”
“You’re eating tonight you know.”
“I do now.”
“Jensen…”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’ll spot you.”
Jensen nodded and lay back on the weight bench, Jared standing behind him.
Showering was less of an issue as they’d already worked it out and by the time they were downstairs his mother had cleaned up the kitchen and was getting ready for dinner prep. There were two neatly assembled breakfast plates on the counter though. Jared ate his and Jensen declared again that he just wasn’t hungry.
They moved into the family room where everyone was sprawled in a tangle of adults and children. This time there really wasn’t room on the couch for two. Jensen dropped neatly to the floor by Jared who was again next to Megan, She held Blake out to Jared who took her and stared into her just frighteningly small face. “She’s gonna be a tall one,” Megan declared. “She’s already in the ninety-fifth percentile for height.”
“If she can’t walk does it count as height or is it just length?”
“It is what it is, she’s just never gonna be able to wear heels on a date.”
“She’s never gonna date.” This from Blake’s father. Jared laughed.
Jensen was idly pushing a large plastic dump truck back and forth until Suzie pulled it away for her own use. Jensen drove a hot wheels car along the road of the play mat; Jonah drove another car straight at Jensen’s. When they collided Jensen made an explosion sound and Jonah laughed. Suzie, not wanting to be left out drove her dump truck over the whole mess while Jensen imitated the truck noises.
The twins came up on Jensen's other side and started using his legs as their play mat. He bent his knee, making it harder to move the car up the ‘hill’ and the boys giggled riding their cars up over Jensen's leg straight up his chest and then crashing to the ground from the height of his shoulder.
The game started and Jensen watched with half an eye, Jared knew Jensen wasn’t a football fan, too many memories of his dad passed out drunk in front of the game. Instead he played a little more with the kids, coloring with them, helping them to assemble a large preschool wooden train track, and continuing quietly his sound effects for all of it.
Jared watched with fondness and a little bit of frustration, but he pushed that down. Eventually Jensen stood up. “I’m gonna…” he gestured towards the car port. Jared shrugged. “You have an entourage.”
Jensen looked behind him and noticed Suzie and Jonah ready to follow him. Jensen shrugged. “I’m just gonna get some air.”
“Okay.”
He left and five minutes later Jared followed. Jensen was on his knees outside, Suzie was punching his hands the way he’d taught Lizzie’s kids to do. He looked up when Jared was close. “They have better form than Janie and Scott.”
“Yeah, well, my brother’s a high school football coach; I’m guessing they’ve had a little coaching.”
“High school football, huh?”
“He was all state his junior and senior year.”
“Cool. No, Suzie, push through the punch, don’t just aim at the middle of my hand.”
Jared watched for a while and Jensen seemed relaxed, or at least more relaxed than he had up to this point. Jeff came out and stood in the sun watching his daughter be coached by Jensen.
“Daddy, look what uncle Jensen teached me!”
“Taught you.”
Suzie rolled her eyes and ran over to her dad leaving room for her brothers to swarm Jensen again. They were still a little young for coaching so Jensen just let them use him as a punching bag. “No kicking” he laughed as they dropped into a close approximation of a sack and both hit him in the numbers, pushing him to they ground. “They’d make a hell of a defensive line.” Jeff said watching, amused as Suzie went over to kick a tree.
Jonah was coming back and when the boys went to go kick their sister’s tree Jensen tilted his head and smiled a little. “Wanna try?”
Jonah looked surprised but stepped up to Jensen. “I just hit here?” He pointed at Jensen's hand.
Jensen adjusted his stance. “You want to hit here”, he pointed. Jonah nodded and punched with very little force. Jensen smiled. “That’s good, but you’re not gonna hurt me, so hit as hard as you can. But, you know, this is just for fun; don’t hit other people, okay?”
“My mom already told me that.”
“Okay, good. So let’s see what you’ve got.”
Jonah, who’d always been shy, seemed a little wary but he did just what Jensen said and Jared could tell that Jensen was surprised by the force of his blow. He wasn’t hurt by it, just impressed that a seven year old could manage that. Once Jonah found his rhythm he didn’t pull any punches, and was smiling when he finished. “Did you see me Uncle Jeff?”
Jeff nodded. “You were great kiddo.” Jonah ran off to the other side of the yard to play with the twins. Megan shook her head. “I’m gonna have to get him into karate or something. I’ve never seen him that friendly with a stranger.
“I’ll call around, find a good place near you,” Jared added.
Jeff took that opportunity to cuff the back of Jared's head. “How ‘bout you? Still think you can take me?”
Jared shrugged, “I can take you, anytime, anywhere.”
Jeff put his fists up, starting with a jab. Jensen was up and angled to take Jeff down in seconds. His hands hanging deceptively loosely at his side. He was five feet away but Jared knew that Jensen could have Jeff pinned to the ground before any of them blinked. Jared shook his head slightly and looked at Jeff. “You wanna spar? Bring it.” And with that he threw a left hook right cross combo, the blows not quite making contact but promising damage if Jared had intended it.
The sparring match went on for a good fifteen minutes, trash talk and kids rooting for one brother or the other until Jared ended it with a leg sweep to bring him down and using Jeff's weight and height against him pinned him. Jared stood up and offered Jeff a hand. “Okay, so maybe the kid who owns a gym does have a few moves this old football coach doesn’t but I still got some game.”
“But you lost.” Jensen added, not particularly helpfully.
Jeff laughed “I like him so much better than that last guy. Definitely a keeper.” Then he called his kids in to come get washed up for dinner.
Moments later Jared and Jensen were alone in the yard. Jared looked over to see Jensen, locked in position.
He moved quickly. “Hey, we were sparring, like you and I do? He’s my brother, he wasn’t gonna hurt me.”
Jensen rolled his eyes. “I know that. You could have taken him down on the fourth move when you had one arm around his neck and your hand on his shoulder. You moved your hand, let him slip out. And then after he took you down you could have rolled him right there and pinned him but you let him up again.”
“You were paying really close attention.”
Jensen shrugged. “If I had to help I wanted to be ready.”
Jared crooked a finger into Jensen's waistband and pulled him closer. “You’re not my guard dog.” He whispered against Jensen's ear and then lowered his mouth to nibble at that spot just below Jensen's ear. He was rewarded with a stuttered sigh. “Do we have to go to dinner?”
“My mother’s been cooking all day, and my grandparents are coming.”
“There are already too many people here.”
Jared put his hands on Jensen's hips and pulled their bodies together, rocking slightly against Jensen, and kissing his neck as the sun dipped lower in the sky, until everything looked like it was in shades of blue.
Jensen let out a sound Jared recognized as more than need, it was almost distress. He pulled back. “You okay?”
Jensen shrugged. “I know I keep messing up.”
“No you don’t. Everyone likes you.”
Jensen stared at the ground and Jared put a finger under his chin, lifting his gaze. “You know that no one’s mad at you, right?”
Jensen nodded. “I guess.”
“You wanna leave? I know we said we’d stay tomorrow night but if it’s too much we can leave tonight, after dinner”
Jensen fell forward and hugged Jared. “Please. God, yes, please.”
Jared held Jensen and tried to figure out what had been so horrible that Jensen was desperate to get out of there.
He whispered to him, soft mumbled words of encouragement and then he heard his father calling everyone to the table. “Hey, it’s just dinner. We’ll get on the road at nine, be home by midnight.”
Jensen nodded and followed Jared into the house.
Dinner was Padalecki standard, the food was good, the conversations were many and loud and all happening at the same time.
Jared was seated between his grandmother and Jensen. Jensen was buffered by Blake’s high chair and then Megan who seemed perfectly content to keep a running commentary with Blake about what a good girl she was. Dinner went by relatively quickly and after the dishes were cleared Jensen went upstairs. Jared announced their plans to leave early and although his mother expressed disappointment no one really questioned it, at least not out loud. They were packing, barely speaking, Jared felt like they were sneaking out in some covert operation. Yeah, this had not gone as Jared had hoped. But then, it hadn’t been as bad as he’d feared either.
:::-:::-:::
Once they’d merged onto the highway Jared had expected Jensen to relax a little, but he’d just put in his ear buds and stared ahead, watching the mile markers pass. Jared started to say something several times but he had no idea what to say. He knew one thing, he’d fucked up, and he wasn’t sure how, and he didn’t know how to fix it.
A light drizzle started and he just kept driving listening to the rhythmic squeaking of the windshield wipers.
They got home, greeted Sadie, unloaded the bags and this was the part when they were supposed to sigh in relief, be themselves again, but Jensen was still tense, taking a seat at the table to read. Jared unpacked everything, putting each bottle of shampoo and pair of socks in their appropriate place. He tucked his duffle away in the closet; he walked to the refrigerator to stare into its depths looking for answers in the cheese and juice. Finally he sat across from Jensen
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Can we, um… what’s going on?”
Jensen's eyes snapped up, meeting his for the first time since dinner. “Nothing.”
“Okay, so…”
Jensen stood up, in a fighting stance, his fists balled.
Jared stepped up, only inches between their chests. “You wanna take a swing?”
Jensen dropped his gaze. “No.”
“So…”
“So if you didn’t think it was safe why did you make me go there? I didn’t want to go. I was okay staying here but you said it would be okay. You said!”
Jared didn’t know where the outburst was coming from. “Jensen, it was safe, you were safe.”
Jensen shook his head. “I know when you’re worried Jared. You think I’m an idiot, but I know you.”
“I don’t think you’re an idiot.”
Jensen ignored him. “I’ve seen you cross the gym in like four strides when you think someone’s getting too close to me or that some other guys are gonna stop sparring and start spilling blood. I know what you look like when you’re trying to shield the world from me, and you were like that all weekend. Every time I moved, you tensed. I’m not safe around your family.
Jared sat back down, slumped down is a better word. He couldn’t deny anything Jensen had just said. He’d spent all weekend treating Jensen like an IED, no wonder he felt like one.
Jared only knew one way to fix this. “Jensen, I fucked up.”
Jensen looked up again. “What?”
“I knew you wouldn’t be comfortable there. I know you kind of like your routine and that this was gonna fuck with it, but I handled it wrong. I tried to make everything okay for you.”
Jensen shook his head. “but it was never gonna be okay for me with like a hundred people I don’t know, some of them tiny, they could get hurt easy, loud dinners that were less organized than a prison mess hall, and this is your family, you knew it was gonna be like that. Why did you bring me?”
“Because I love you.”
Jensen paced behind the sofa. “If you loved me you’d have left me here.”
Jared stood up, because fuck up or no fuck up; some things had to be addressed immediately. He stood directly in Jensen's path, hands on his shoulders and then sliding down his arms, stopping to squeeze his wristbands. “I may have screwed things up but don’t you ever doubt that I love you.”
Jensen looked up at him, real concern in his eyes. “Love won’t be enough to fix this.” He used a tone Jared hadn’t heard in a long time. Quiet. Defeated.
Jared felt jagged shards of air fill his lungs, so he knew he wasn’t dead but he was a little dazed. It was hard to focus. Jensen was stronger than anyone gave him credit for. Jensen was so many things and right now, Jensen was breaking up with him. He felt the air leave his body too, and with it, most of his strength. He sat on the couch and only after a few seconds did he realize he’d never let go of Jensen. He was sitting here, squeezing Jensen's wrist with a death grip like he could just physically keep him here. Like anything they had meant a damn thing if they weren’t both on the same page.
Jensen twisted his wrist away and Jared let it go. Jensen asked quietly, “what do we do now?”
Jared didn’t know what to say but he had to try, he couldn’t just let the best part of every day, the best thing in his life just walk away. “I don’t want you to leave.” He knew it was practically begging, but his pride was a minor worry now.
Jensen turned to him. “Can you live like that? Can you live with someone your family hates? Just ignore me when you go see them and ignore them when you’re here with me, someone who’d hurt those people?”
Jared turned and stared at Jensen, his heartbeat steadying to a reasonable pace. “You think that because this weekend wasn’t a stellar success we’re over?”
Jensen nodded, it was a tiny gesture and Jared wanted to laugh, to whoop with joy, he’d fucked up the weekend, he’d been the worst dom in the history of doms but he hadn’t lost Jensen. He hugged Jensen, feeling the air whoosh out of him against his ear and still not having the strength to let him go just yet. Eventually he loosened his grip and felt Jensen's arms around him.
“I don’t have to leave?” it was asked quietly against Jared's neck. He shook his head, pulled back and kissed Jensen.
“God no, you don’t have to leave. We need to have a talk though, clearly, because this right here, my heart can’t take it.”
Jared pulled away and sat back on the couch pulling Jensen with him 'til Jensen's back was against Jared's chest and Jared's arms were around his waist. He felt Jensen's muscles start to relax for the first time since they’d begun packing.
Jared just sat for a minute, Jensen's head against his chest, his fingers playing with Jared's. “I’m so sorry Jensen.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s really not. This is my fault.”
“No, it’s because I’m no good with people.” Jensen let go of Jared's hand and went to playing with the loose material of his jeans. “I never know what they want.”
“But you always know what I want.”
“No, I don’t, but when I get it wrong you tell me.”
Continue to Part 2