TKO, 8/8, R, J2
Title: TKO
Author:Vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: Overall R, This part PG-13
Word Count: 4700+/-
Summary Jensen is an ex-con with a clean slate. Jared owns an MMA gym. They like each other, a lot.
A/N: This fic is complete in eight parts. I will post on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
TKO One ~ TKO Two ~ TKO Three ~ TKO Four ~ TKO Five ~ TKO Six ~ TKO Seven ~ TKO Eight
Thanks to: passing_through for the beta work. Even when you didn’t get it, you were there for the story. Thank you darlin’
Graphics by: Raeschae This wouldn't Rock without you.
TKO
Round Eight
On the second of January, Jensen walked into the classroom with his confirmation of registration letter, a notebook and a pen. He was nervous; he had a large bruise running from his ear to his jaw and a cut over his eye, both from a fight he’d had to break up at Benny's on New Year’s Eve, and he wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to vomit.
He sat one row from the back, because Jared and Lizzie had both told him they’d somehow know, and bitch, if he sat in the back of the class the whole time.
The room started to fill up. There were about thirty chairs, three to a table, five tables on each side of the room. When it was five after nine the teacher came in and shut the door. Two minutes later there was a knock at the door and a girl, younger than Jensen, handed the teacher her paper. He pointed to the chairs and she sat next to Jensen, one of the three seats left. He smiled at her and then listened to the teacher as he explained the way the class would work.
At least they got a fifteen minute break at 10:30. Jensen was pretty sure he couldn’t make it through three hours straight.
At the end of the first day, with his syllabus and workbook pushed into his backpack, he headed towards home. It was a Tuesday, he didn’t have to work, but he did have homework.
He shoved the headphones to his iPod, a Christmas gift from Jared, into his ears and headed back to his room.
Jared was as nervous as Jensen was. He let himself into Jensen's place. The more time he spent here, the more sure he was that Jensen needed something better. He could afford it. Most apartments went for less than he was spending, and yes, they’d require a lease, but they’d also give Jensen the sense of security that no wrist band, and no promises, could. Jared would happily admit that he hated this place.
The broken down, third or possibly even seventh hand bed, the tiny bathroom with no tub to soak his fighting injuries, the odd smells, the general sense of depressing poverty that pervaded everything. He wanted better for Jensen. He wanted Jensen to want better for himself.
Jensen froze when he spied Jared at the rickety old table.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’ll leave if you want. I just came to see how your first day went.”
“It was like any first day. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He wrapped his headphones around his iPod and pushed it into the front pocket of his backpack. “Thanks for this, by the way. It really helps on the bus routes I know.”
Jared nodded. “I figured. I downloaded some other songs. Tomorrow, after your workout, if you want, we can put them on your iPod, or…”
“Or?”
“They make recorded books. Lizzie showed me where to find some, so if you’d rather listen to a good story instead of music…”
“Someone could read to me?’
“Yeah.”
“That’d be cool.”
“I’ll find some tonight, just to get you started.”
“Thank you. But…”
‘What am I doing here?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you’re out of food. Nothing but bologna and white bread. Were you going to mention that?”
“I go grocery shopping in two days.”
“And until then, were you going to eat the bologna currently going green or get by on one meal a day from Benny?”
“I only get that when I’m working.”
Jared stood up. “So are we going grocery shopping or are you not eating for the next two days?”
“I guess there’s really only one good answer to that.”
“You’d guess right.”
“The holidays got in the way of my schedule, and everything got messed up.”
“Well, we could create some giant planning mechanism, put up a big three month calendar, or you can just buy groceries when you’re out and not only on Thursdays.”
“It’s probably better that I switch to Tuesdays anyway, since between class and work, probably best not to schedule something else in on Thursdays.”
“When are you and your PO meeting now?”
“Two on Fridays.”
“Okay. So Tuesday is grocery day?”
Jensen shrugged and Jared didn’t know if they’d ever made any progress at all or if he’d been imagining it. All he knew was Jensen still didn’t trust him and stuck to his rigid schedule to ensure that he didn’t have to rethink any decisions.
“We’re going shopping and you’re buying protein that isn’t just bologna or turkey.”
“I am?”
“You are.”
Jensen bit his lip and nodded, “I have to go to the ATM.”
“I figured. There’s one from your bank around the corner, remember? That’s why we picked that bank”
“Yeah. And then… I have homework.”
“I’ll leave you alone to do your homework, but I gotta tell you, it’s a total turn on. Pretty kinky to be dating a guy with schoolwork.”
“You’re sick.”
“Never claimed otherwise. “c’mon, let’s go.”
They headed towards the ATM and the grocery store.
Jensen was getting frustrated. If Jared wanted to pick his food, he’d be happy to hand him fifty bucks and let him come back with groceries, but this thing where he chose and then Jared approved… he hated decision making and Jared trying to train him to make healthier, more training oriented decisions made his grocery bill rise along with his annoyance.
Jared seemed to recognize it. He handed Jensen a carton of a dozen eggs, and a large bag of shredded cheese. “Protein.”
“So’s salami, or turkey and it doesn’t require cooking. I can’t cook.”
“You can make eggs.”
“Says who?”
“Okay, so we’ll work on making eggs.”
“I don’t like eggs. Did you bother to think of that? They may be the miracle cure for what a loser I am but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re slimy and gross and make me want to barf!”
Jared was smiling.
Jensen thought maybe Jared had finally lost it… or he had. “What?”
“I think that’s the first time you’ve been adamant about an opinion. I like it. Okay. No eggs. But no bologna either. How do you feel about peanut butter?”
“Not chunky. I like regular smooth peanut butter.”
“Gotcha.”
The rest of the trip was easier, Jensen not feeling so stressed or railroaded, Jared seemingly feeling like some progress had been made.
When he finished unloading the groceries the wrist band was sitting on the middle of the table.
Jared shrugged. “I brought it with me in case you needed it. You know, after class, but I can…” he reached out to put it back in his jacket pocket.
Jensen moved faster and grabbed it, holding it out to Jared with his wrist up. “I do, I just… we have to be quiet.”
“You have to be quiet.” Jared said as he tightened the band. “Because I say so”, and Jensen melted. He hadn’t realized how much he needed this today until it was offered.
He stood still, waiting for directions, but Jared didn’t give him any, just stood up and walked around him until he was standing with his chest to Jensen's back, breathing against Jensen's ear, his hands sliding under Jensen's shirt, pulling it carefully over his head. Kissing a spot Jensen knows was bruised from a fight a few days ago.
“So beautiful.”
Jensen fought the urge to curl away from Jared's words, letting him leave open-mouthed kisses on the sore area above his right shoulder blade. “So fucking beautiful.” Jared traced the lines of Jensen's tattoos, licking, sucking. “So fucking mine.”
And Jensen felt his knees go weak. He could hold his own in a fight, but when Jared called him his. It’s all he wanted, to belong somewhere, to something, and Jared seemed to really want him, to want this. He tried to figure out why until Jared wrapped an arm around his stomach and bit at his ear. “Don’t try to figure out why I want you. It’s because of you. You deserve this.”
Jensen let out a high pitched sound and then exhaled. Jared undid his pants. “Shoes off.”
Jensen kicked them off and stepped over the pile of clothes, completely naked as Jared spread him out on the bed. “Not gonna fuck you.”
Jensen whimpered.
Jared didn’t say anything else, he just traced the lines of Jensen's muscles with his fingers, lips and tongue, eventually pulling lube out of one of his pockets and pushing a finger into him.
Jensen pushed up; trying to take more into him, craving more, but Jared landed a slap on his ass. “Don’t move. Not gonna fuck you. Gonna love you.” And Jensen turned his head and closed his eyes and refused to get lost in the feelings as Jared found every one of his hot spots and spent time there, licking, sucking, and mumbling sweet knowledge of Jensen into his skin. Jensen tried to pull away but a squeeze on each wrist held him there.
“Don’t move. This isn’t about your perfect tight little ass.”
Jensen couldn’t help it. He let out a sound, almost a cry, almost a gasp, and Jared covered Jensen's body with his, moving and stroking, licking and whispering into his ear.
“You deserve to be loved.”
Jensen accepted the love, tried to give in to it, and when he came, hard and with that same sound, Jared held him while his body shook and trembled. He wanted to beg Jared not to do that again, but he was afraid Jared would listen.
They both slept on the thin mattress and the threadbare sheets and when Jared left, he kissed Jensen slowly. “I know you’ve got homework, and you’re gonna see Lizzie, any chance I can see you tonight?”
Jensen shrugged. “Maybe, I have to see how long my homework takes.”
“Call me either way, okay. I’m worried about you.”
Jensen's face twisted in confusion. “I’m fine.”
“I know.” Jared left.
Jared walked out of the building, enjoying the bracing cold, and wondering what exactly the smell in that building was. He imagined it was a combination of sweat, old cooking and failure.
He focused on his work at the gym, planning the next move to teach to the kid’s group, and bringing the mail up to the office.
Bowie looked up and Jared knew he should have avoided the office. He sprawled out in the old yellow easy chair that no one could quite remember bringing up to the office and raised an eyebrow, waiting.
“Your boy’s good.”
“No shit.”
‘He’s got the training, the discipline and the moves. It’s time to get him ranked for real.”
“Not sure he’ll go for it.”
“He needs to fight someone better than we’ve got. The only ones who prove a challenge are you and me… well, me, because he won’t fight you.”
“Yep.”
“So you staying tight lipped on this or are you going to help me?”
“Who’d you talk to?”
“Frank and Ernie. Both are willing to do an exposition match. Either with Frank himself, or one of Ernie’s best.”
“Set it all up without me, huh?”
“If I had asked?”
“I’d have said exactly what I’m gonna say. I have to check with him. I know he’s not a big talker, but he is a human being, he gets a say even if you do think he’s our ticket to the pro-circuit.”
“I think he’s his own ticket. Doesn’t strike me as a guy rolling in dough. Maybe he could use a second pair of sweat pants.”
Jared tried not to laugh. It wasn’t difficult because anger was battling amusement at the moment. Finally he looked up. “I’ll talk to him, okay?”
“Yeah man, whatever. Look, you know, this isn’t about him as your… boyfriend or whatever. This is just about him, his skills and the gym.”
Jared leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “It seems to be a little about him being my boyfriend, or whatever.”
“Nah, man, it’s just… you’re usually pretty psyched when you’re in a relationship, even if you are a control freak and they always seem to follow you around like puppies, but… you’re not… you don’t seem to be having a lot of fun, I’m just… I guess we’re wondering if you bit off more than you can chew here.”
“We? As in you and Ronnie, as in, you two sit around and talk about me and Jensen. He went out for drinks with us; did I not seem to be having fun?”
“No, you didn’t. Were you?”
“He’s been through a lot, I worry about him.”
“Who’s worrying about you?”
“Apparently you are.”
“Yeah, but you won’t listen to a damn thing I say. He’s the best fighter to walk through our doors in a long time. He doesn’t want to fight, and that’s his call, but he’s not making you happy, and that’s my call. So if he’s not doing anything for the gym, or for my best friend… I say cut him loose.”
Jared stood up and walked out before he threw Bowie through the scratched and discolored the Plexiglas and down the two stories onto the gym floor.
He used Jensen's coping mechanism, kicking at the horizontal bag until it was beaten into submission.
He went back to his place and took a long shower, wondering why he was so pissed. Nothing Bowie said was untrue.
Jensen went to the library, where Lizzie wanted to hear all about his first day of class. He felt like he should have cookies and milk, the way his mom used to give him when he came back from school, and was hit with a hard crashing wave of want as he missed her. He kept his eyes down and nodded. Pulling his hand away when Lizzie touched him. “Jensen, what’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. Can I get books from these computers? You know, for my iPod?”
“Well, from some places, yes. I thought Jared was going to do that for you.”
“I want to be able to do it myself. I can’t count on Jared for everything.”
“Are you two having… are you still… did you break up?”
“What? No. He just thinks he knows what’s best for me all the time and sometimes, I want to pick my own books.”
“Well, okay, some of your favorites are available for free. Would you like to have those so you can tune in when you don’t need to pay total attention to the story?”
“Yeah. Please.”
“Sure, honey. Jensen. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I think. I just… I need to pick some books, regular ones and the read out loud kind. And then, I need some computer time, Lizzie.”
“Well, you take whatever time you want.”
“Thanks.
The next day, Jensen had a book and his iPod with him. His homework was done, and he’d even brought a bottle of water, because three hours in an overheated classroom was hell on his throat. He still hadn’t really spoken to anyone, and although he didn’t smoke, and hadn’t in a long time he went outside when break was called. The girl who sat next to him, Tamara, offered him a cigarette. He shook his head.
“I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t smoke in front of my kid, and he’s always with me except for when I’m here so it’s practically my only chance.”
Jensen nodded, unsure what to say. Apparently he didn’t need to say much. She pulled out a picture of herself and a boy, same dark hair, same mocha skin tone. He was clinging to her and waving at the camera. “He’s 18 months old, and kind of why I’m here. Can’t be a good mom without even a GED, right?”
Jensen remained silent and the break went on like that. He’d hmmm, or chuckle, and she’d talk. She smoked three cigarettes before people started filing back in. Jensen tried to pay attention in class but sometimes even with the textbook and workbook in front of him it got confusing.
On the way out he smiled and said “bye Tamara.”
She smiled back. “See ya’ Jensen.”
Jensen walked to the library; he wanted to research something.
The next day he accepted a cigarette from her. He felt guilty the whole time, hearing his father tell him what a nasty habit it was, hearing his own wallet protesting the possible future purchases, hearing Jared, who would be against it for health reasons, on principle, because of how it would affect his fighting, and maybe some other reasons Jared hadn’t thought of yet..
On Thursday he bought a pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter, and was able to return Tamara’s kindness.
When he got back from class Jared was waiting for him in front of the building. When they got up to Jensen's room Jared put a hand on his shoulder, leaning in. “You’re smoking?”
“Well, we get a break, and everyone seems to go outside for… and I wanted to be social, not just sit inside with my head phones on…”
“So you decided to spend money that you won’t spend on a decent jacket, or a place to live, or something on you walls to prove you live here, on something that’ll ruin your health, fuck up your breathing, and get in the way of your wrestling? No. I’m telling you no.”
“I’m not wearing the fucking wristband. You can’t tell me no!”
Jared sat down. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? You want to run my life, but only the parts that are convenient to you. I’m still the same fuck-up you met months ago and now you want to tell me not to make friends? Are you afraid I’ll like them better than you? Because I won’t. What do you want from me?”
Jared looked up. “I want you to be happy.”
“I am.”
“Not from where I’m sitting. You don’t want to be doing anything you’re doing.”
“No, that’s you. You don’t want me living here. You don’t want me going to the library so much, you want me to fight more in the ring, you want me to get my GED, and then when I do that, you don’t want me to make friends. Maybe you’re one of those controlling boyfriends… I mean, in the bad kind of way, and I just never noticed it. I’ll find a new gym.”
The last words just hung there, and Jared stared at him. “What?”
“I’ll get out of your way. Find a new gym.” Jensen was unbuckling his watch, the matching wristband, trying to return it, remove all aspects of Jared from his life.
“The hell you will.” It was more a bellow than a statement. “I tell you I love you, and you ignore it. I try to take care of you and let you have whatever freedom you want, and you resent me for wanting you to have more in your life than a crappy room in a boarding house and a job you hate. I want you to do more than read all night.”
“Like what? Fuck you?”
“Like sleep!”
Jensen stared at him and Jared shook his head. “You think I don’t notice? You don’t read that fast Jensen, but you’re reading five books a week sometimes. You come to the gym at seven in the morning, but you don’t get off work 'til two. You spend all night at my place in bed, reading. You. Do. Not. Sleep.
“I get it, I really do, you’ve been through a lot, I’m not sure I could sleep either, but I think you’re punishing yourself, and there is no way I’m letting you do that. You wanna see controlling? Start actively hurting yourself, like you are with those fucking cigarettes, and you’ll see controlling.”
“Oh, that’s funny coming from you. You don’t think I should smoke but you’ll push me into a ring with a guy who wants to pummel me to death. But god-fucking-forbid I smoke a cigarette!”
“I thought… I thought you…”
“No, you didn’t. Bowie wants you to prove that I serve a purpose and you don’t want to admit that my ass is enough of a purpose for you.”
“Is that what you think? Is that really… that I’m just in this to get laid? Because I gotta tell you, you are high-fucking-maintenance if all I’m looking for is sex.”
“So why don’t you go find something easier?”
“Because I love you” and even if you don’t love me back, that’s just what I’m stuck with. I’m in love with you, motherfucker.”
Jared didn’t even stay to hear what Jensen was going to say next. He slammed the door on his way out.
Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. Jensen wiped his fingers over his eyes, making sure the tears were gone. It was his landlord saying he’d had a complaint about the noise and to keep it down from now own.
Jensen nodded, grabbled his backpack and left. He had no idea what to do now.
Jensen didn’t go to the library. Lizzie would know something was wrong and he didn’t want to talk about it. Instead, he sat in his room, trying to focus on “The Count of Monte Cristo and not wonder what it was about him that made it so easy for people to leave him.
His mother would have fought if Jilly was still around, but it was just him, and so she didn’t fight. His father didn’t fight because his mother was gone. How come no one wanted him around? He sat staring at his homework assignment and feeling sorry for himself until it was time to change his clothes and go to work.
It was loud and rowdy for a Thursday and Jensen ended up breaking up three fights and physically removing two guys from the premises in a single night. He left quietly, making sure that the parking lot was clear before he left. Jared startled him. “I didn’t want to wait at your place.”
“So you decided here, where I almost killed a guy was a good spot?”
“You didn’t almost kill anyone. We’ve been over this.”
Jensen stopped. “What do you want, Jared?”
“You. I miss you.”
“It’s only been a couple of hours.”
“I miss the idea of you in my life. I miss the reality of you in my life.”
“Yeah, well, I need time, Jared. Something’s wrong.”
“Wrong, physically?”
“No, not physically. You’re awesome at taking care of me but… what if… what… what if I never learn to do it myself and you leave?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Can I have some time? I promise I won’t leave town, break my probation and get arrested and violated.” He stared at the ground.
“Yeah, take your time. I guess I just… I know I’m not going anywhere. Just remember that.”
“Yeah.”
Danny came up behind Jensen. “This guy bothering you?”
“Naaah, I’m okay. See you tomorrow.”
Danny seemed hesitant to leave but did walk away. So did Jared and Jensen went home, finished his “Who I Am” essay to be graded for punctuation and spelling.
He went the rest of the weekend without speaking to Jared and felt the hole in his life, in everything he did. There was no one to care if he bought bologna or some more acceptable form of protein. No one to care if he was taking care of himself. There was no one to talk to. Lizzie being off Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.
There was also no one telling him to move, telling him to get a better place, a place he didn’t deserve and wasn’t sure he could afford, and no one asking him to get in the ring.
He sat down and took another stab at his “Who I Am” essay, but this time it wasn’t for class.
On Monday he came back to the gym and Jared was so excited to see him that it hurt, but Jensen was just as happy to see Jared.
After working out, Jared was tentative about asking Jensen back to his place to shower. Jensen took the lead. “Can I use your shower?”
And Jared was so accommodating it was cute.
He showered and came out in a towel, just like he always did, but he didn’t offer his wrist and he could see Jared's disappointment.
“We need to talk.”
Jared took a deep breath.
“I think you’re right.”
“I am?”
“I want to try to find my own place. Somewhere that I can have loud fights with my boyfriend and not get kicked out. Somewhere that I can wear this,” he picked up the wrist band from the table, “all the time”.
He offered his wrist and Jared almost fell to his knees in his haste to buckle it on.
“I think… I think I love you too. I don’t know, I’ve never loved anyone but my parents, but I know I love how you take care of me, and how you get so excited over new equipment for the gym, and how you want things from me because you really think I’m that capable.”
“You are.”
“Yeah, we um, disagree on that, but I’m working on it, but…”
Jared looked up at him.
“I don’t want to fight. I hate it. It hurts, I always look like a thug, and I get that panic in my belly. I’ll never be a top ranked pro but even if I could be… I’ve lived the way other people told me I should for so long.
The band is on my arm. I don’t want to ever take it off. If you tell me I have to fight, I will. I’ll fight. But I’m telling you that I don’t want to.”
“Then I’m telling you that you’re not allowed to.”
Jensen looked at him, and he knew his eyes had gone wide. “What?” He’d expected more argument than this.
“I didn’t know you hated it that much.”
“I didn’t tell you.”
“If you’re gonna wear this, all the time.” Jared ran his finger around the edge of the wristband. “You have to be completely honest with me. I can’t do this if I’m afraid I might be hurting you.”
“Okay.’
“Okay?”
“Okay. I love you. I’ll be honest.”
“And you realize you still have to do what I say.”
Jensen nodded. “That’s what I want.”
“Then get dressed and go to class. But when you’re done, I want you back here. And no cigarettes.”
Jensen nodded and disappeared into the bedroom, returning in jeans and one of Jared's sweatshirts. “So, I’m going.”
“Okay, Oh, and Jensen?”
Jensen looked back and Jared fisted his sweatshirt and pulled him in for a deep kiss. “I love you, don’t you ever doubt that.”
“Yes sir.” Jensen wiped his thumb over his lip, threw his backpack over his shoulder and left, turning to call over his shoulder. “I love you.”
He had a playful smile on his face and felt something that he recognized from a long time ago, as hope.
~~~~~~~~~~ Credit Roll ~~~~~~~~~~
Jensen took the GED test and passed in the 75th percentile. He wasn’t sure why he needed it but he did feel kinda accomplished having done it. Jared told him that was kind of the point.
Six months after he got his GED. Eight months after he started wearing both cuffs all the time and stopped fighting Jared asked him to just look at a few apartments.
Jensen and Jared walked through a couple of complexes and when they found one with an apartment on the third floor with a huge sliding door to a back deck Jensen showed some interest.
“I could put a table out here and read outside.”
Jared smiled. “you could.”
So Jensen applied, because for less money than he was paying now, he could have an actual bedroom, a real kitchen with more cabinet space and Jared looked so pleased that he was willing to try. Jensen had moments when he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing, changing his address, signing a one year lease. But he did it and when he moved in, he invited Lizze over to see it.
He thought he’d made a mistake when she started crying but she promised it was tears of joy. Promised that this is what she wanted for him. a safe comfortable nice place for him to live.
Jensen loves his new place, and his Salvation-Army furniture that he owns, that is his to take care of.
He loves having a desk where he can organize things. He hopes someday Jared will want him to come live at his place, but until then. This is closer to the gym and one short bus ride to the library. He can walk it if he feels like it, it’s only two and a half miles.
Jensen still knows he’s made mistakes. He’s still afraid of making any more but he thinks maybe if he keeps checking with Lizzie and Jared, who don’t seem to mind helping him he can do more than just get by.
He knows it’s working when they both come to his place with cake and pizza to celebrate his having gotten off parole. It’s a moment that almost makes him cry.
Jared wishes Jensen was ready to live with him. he loves it when Jensen's with him but Jensen needs to finish a few things first. Needs to know that he can do these things on his own.
The GED is a big step. So is the apartment. Jared had never been so happy for Jensen as when they set up his new outdoor furniture and watched him sit in the sun and read. He looked like a contented cat.
He thinks sometimes Jensen should get a cat, some living thing in the apartment but then soon he really does hope for Jensen to join him permanently at his place and his new puppy, Sadie is probably going to be big and active with her boxer lineage. Instead he buys Jensen a brand new king sized bed, and a big easy chair with a strong light for reading.
He also convinces Jensen to go to the optometrist. Turns out Jensen does need glasses and the wire frames somehow make Jensen look hotter, which Jared would have said was impossible. It pisses Jared off that he didn’t do it sooner. He’s glad it’s done now.
Jensen made friends with Tamara from the GED class. She came in to take the women’s self defense class on Jensen's recommendation and turned out to be great with numbers. She’s the cashier at the pro shop, where they also collect dues. It frees up bowie’s time and she loves her job. Jensen feels good having helped someone, giving back.
Jared watches the way Jensen walks now. Not always so hunched over. The way he asks for things, even small things like coffee or juice. The way he sometimes buys things he needs without asking Jared. It’s all progress that Jared loves to see.
The night Jensen was finally off parole. When Lizzie had left a few books as gifts and gone home, Jared stayed and after they’d fucked Jensen ducked his head into Jared's shoulder and mumbled three words against Jared's ear.
Jared felt Jensen's body tighten waiting for a negative response. There was none, but Jared, he just repeated it back and held Jensen, biting his lip to keep himself from crying. This was big. This was huge. This was everything.
And they all lived contentedly ever after
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Author:Vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: Overall R, This part PG-13
Word Count: 4700+/-
Summary Jensen is an ex-con with a clean slate. Jared owns an MMA gym. They like each other, a lot.
A/N: This fic is complete in eight parts. I will post on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
TKO One ~ TKO Two ~ TKO Three ~ TKO Four ~ TKO Five ~ TKO Six ~ TKO Seven ~ TKO Eight
Thanks to: passing_through for the beta work. Even when you didn’t get it, you were there for the story. Thank you darlin’
Graphics by: Raeschae This wouldn't Rock without you.
TKO
Round Eight
On the second of January, Jensen walked into the classroom with his confirmation of registration letter, a notebook and a pen. He was nervous; he had a large bruise running from his ear to his jaw and a cut over his eye, both from a fight he’d had to break up at Benny's on New Year’s Eve, and he wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to vomit.
He sat one row from the back, because Jared and Lizzie had both told him they’d somehow know, and bitch, if he sat in the back of the class the whole time.
The room started to fill up. There were about thirty chairs, three to a table, five tables on each side of the room. When it was five after nine the teacher came in and shut the door. Two minutes later there was a knock at the door and a girl, younger than Jensen, handed the teacher her paper. He pointed to the chairs and she sat next to Jensen, one of the three seats left. He smiled at her and then listened to the teacher as he explained the way the class would work.
At least they got a fifteen minute break at 10:30. Jensen was pretty sure he couldn’t make it through three hours straight.
At the end of the first day, with his syllabus and workbook pushed into his backpack, he headed towards home. It was a Tuesday, he didn’t have to work, but he did have homework.
He shoved the headphones to his iPod, a Christmas gift from Jared, into his ears and headed back to his room.
Jared was as nervous as Jensen was. He let himself into Jensen's place. The more time he spent here, the more sure he was that Jensen needed something better. He could afford it. Most apartments went for less than he was spending, and yes, they’d require a lease, but they’d also give Jensen the sense of security that no wrist band, and no promises, could. Jared would happily admit that he hated this place.
The broken down, third or possibly even seventh hand bed, the tiny bathroom with no tub to soak his fighting injuries, the odd smells, the general sense of depressing poverty that pervaded everything. He wanted better for Jensen. He wanted Jensen to want better for himself.
Jensen froze when he spied Jared at the rickety old table.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’ll leave if you want. I just came to see how your first day went.”
“It was like any first day. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He wrapped his headphones around his iPod and pushed it into the front pocket of his backpack. “Thanks for this, by the way. It really helps on the bus routes I know.”
Jared nodded. “I figured. I downloaded some other songs. Tomorrow, after your workout, if you want, we can put them on your iPod, or…”
“Or?”
“They make recorded books. Lizzie showed me where to find some, so if you’d rather listen to a good story instead of music…”
“Someone could read to me?’
“Yeah.”
“That’d be cool.”
“I’ll find some tonight, just to get you started.”
“Thank you. But…”
‘What am I doing here?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you’re out of food. Nothing but bologna and white bread. Were you going to mention that?”
“I go grocery shopping in two days.”
“And until then, were you going to eat the bologna currently going green or get by on one meal a day from Benny?”
“I only get that when I’m working.”
Jared stood up. “So are we going grocery shopping or are you not eating for the next two days?”
“I guess there’s really only one good answer to that.”
“You’d guess right.”
“The holidays got in the way of my schedule, and everything got messed up.”
“Well, we could create some giant planning mechanism, put up a big three month calendar, or you can just buy groceries when you’re out and not only on Thursdays.”
“It’s probably better that I switch to Tuesdays anyway, since between class and work, probably best not to schedule something else in on Thursdays.”
“When are you and your PO meeting now?”
“Two on Fridays.”
“Okay. So Tuesday is grocery day?”
Jensen shrugged and Jared didn’t know if they’d ever made any progress at all or if he’d been imagining it. All he knew was Jensen still didn’t trust him and stuck to his rigid schedule to ensure that he didn’t have to rethink any decisions.
“We’re going shopping and you’re buying protein that isn’t just bologna or turkey.”
“I am?”
“You are.”
Jensen bit his lip and nodded, “I have to go to the ATM.”
“I figured. There’s one from your bank around the corner, remember? That’s why we picked that bank”
“Yeah. And then… I have homework.”
“I’ll leave you alone to do your homework, but I gotta tell you, it’s a total turn on. Pretty kinky to be dating a guy with schoolwork.”
“You’re sick.”
“Never claimed otherwise. “c’mon, let’s go.”
They headed towards the ATM and the grocery store.
Jensen was getting frustrated. If Jared wanted to pick his food, he’d be happy to hand him fifty bucks and let him come back with groceries, but this thing where he chose and then Jared approved… he hated decision making and Jared trying to train him to make healthier, more training oriented decisions made his grocery bill rise along with his annoyance.
Jared seemed to recognize it. He handed Jensen a carton of a dozen eggs, and a large bag of shredded cheese. “Protein.”
“So’s salami, or turkey and it doesn’t require cooking. I can’t cook.”
“You can make eggs.”
“Says who?”
“Okay, so we’ll work on making eggs.”
“I don’t like eggs. Did you bother to think of that? They may be the miracle cure for what a loser I am but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re slimy and gross and make me want to barf!”
Jared was smiling.
Jensen thought maybe Jared had finally lost it… or he had. “What?”
“I think that’s the first time you’ve been adamant about an opinion. I like it. Okay. No eggs. But no bologna either. How do you feel about peanut butter?”
“Not chunky. I like regular smooth peanut butter.”
“Gotcha.”
The rest of the trip was easier, Jensen not feeling so stressed or railroaded, Jared seemingly feeling like some progress had been made.
When he finished unloading the groceries the wrist band was sitting on the middle of the table.
Jared shrugged. “I brought it with me in case you needed it. You know, after class, but I can…” he reached out to put it back in his jacket pocket.
Jensen moved faster and grabbed it, holding it out to Jared with his wrist up. “I do, I just… we have to be quiet.”
“You have to be quiet.” Jared said as he tightened the band. “Because I say so”, and Jensen melted. He hadn’t realized how much he needed this today until it was offered.
He stood still, waiting for directions, but Jared didn’t give him any, just stood up and walked around him until he was standing with his chest to Jensen's back, breathing against Jensen's ear, his hands sliding under Jensen's shirt, pulling it carefully over his head. Kissing a spot Jensen knows was bruised from a fight a few days ago.
“So beautiful.”
Jensen fought the urge to curl away from Jared's words, letting him leave open-mouthed kisses on the sore area above his right shoulder blade. “So fucking beautiful.” Jared traced the lines of Jensen's tattoos, licking, sucking. “So fucking mine.”
And Jensen felt his knees go weak. He could hold his own in a fight, but when Jared called him his. It’s all he wanted, to belong somewhere, to something, and Jared seemed to really want him, to want this. He tried to figure out why until Jared wrapped an arm around his stomach and bit at his ear. “Don’t try to figure out why I want you. It’s because of you. You deserve this.”
Jensen let out a high pitched sound and then exhaled. Jared undid his pants. “Shoes off.”
Jensen kicked them off and stepped over the pile of clothes, completely naked as Jared spread him out on the bed. “Not gonna fuck you.”
Jensen whimpered.
Jared didn’t say anything else, he just traced the lines of Jensen's muscles with his fingers, lips and tongue, eventually pulling lube out of one of his pockets and pushing a finger into him.
Jensen pushed up; trying to take more into him, craving more, but Jared landed a slap on his ass. “Don’t move. Not gonna fuck you. Gonna love you.” And Jensen turned his head and closed his eyes and refused to get lost in the feelings as Jared found every one of his hot spots and spent time there, licking, sucking, and mumbling sweet knowledge of Jensen into his skin. Jensen tried to pull away but a squeeze on each wrist held him there.
“Don’t move. This isn’t about your perfect tight little ass.”
Jensen couldn’t help it. He let out a sound, almost a cry, almost a gasp, and Jared covered Jensen's body with his, moving and stroking, licking and whispering into his ear.
“You deserve to be loved.”
Jensen accepted the love, tried to give in to it, and when he came, hard and with that same sound, Jared held him while his body shook and trembled. He wanted to beg Jared not to do that again, but he was afraid Jared would listen.
They both slept on the thin mattress and the threadbare sheets and when Jared left, he kissed Jensen slowly. “I know you’ve got homework, and you’re gonna see Lizzie, any chance I can see you tonight?”
Jensen shrugged. “Maybe, I have to see how long my homework takes.”
“Call me either way, okay. I’m worried about you.”
Jensen's face twisted in confusion. “I’m fine.”
“I know.” Jared left.
Jared walked out of the building, enjoying the bracing cold, and wondering what exactly the smell in that building was. He imagined it was a combination of sweat, old cooking and failure.
He focused on his work at the gym, planning the next move to teach to the kid’s group, and bringing the mail up to the office.
Bowie looked up and Jared knew he should have avoided the office. He sprawled out in the old yellow easy chair that no one could quite remember bringing up to the office and raised an eyebrow, waiting.
“Your boy’s good.”
“No shit.”
‘He’s got the training, the discipline and the moves. It’s time to get him ranked for real.”
“Not sure he’ll go for it.”
“He needs to fight someone better than we’ve got. The only ones who prove a challenge are you and me… well, me, because he won’t fight you.”
“Yep.”
“So you staying tight lipped on this or are you going to help me?”
“Who’d you talk to?”
“Frank and Ernie. Both are willing to do an exposition match. Either with Frank himself, or one of Ernie’s best.”
“Set it all up without me, huh?”
“If I had asked?”
“I’d have said exactly what I’m gonna say. I have to check with him. I know he’s not a big talker, but he is a human being, he gets a say even if you do think he’s our ticket to the pro-circuit.”
“I think he’s his own ticket. Doesn’t strike me as a guy rolling in dough. Maybe he could use a second pair of sweat pants.”
Jared tried not to laugh. It wasn’t difficult because anger was battling amusement at the moment. Finally he looked up. “I’ll talk to him, okay?”
“Yeah man, whatever. Look, you know, this isn’t about him as your… boyfriend or whatever. This is just about him, his skills and the gym.”
Jared leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “It seems to be a little about him being my boyfriend, or whatever.”
“Nah, man, it’s just… you’re usually pretty psyched when you’re in a relationship, even if you are a control freak and they always seem to follow you around like puppies, but… you’re not… you don’t seem to be having a lot of fun, I’m just… I guess we’re wondering if you bit off more than you can chew here.”
“We? As in you and Ronnie, as in, you two sit around and talk about me and Jensen. He went out for drinks with us; did I not seem to be having fun?”
“No, you didn’t. Were you?”
“He’s been through a lot, I worry about him.”
“Who’s worrying about you?”
“Apparently you are.”
“Yeah, but you won’t listen to a damn thing I say. He’s the best fighter to walk through our doors in a long time. He doesn’t want to fight, and that’s his call, but he’s not making you happy, and that’s my call. So if he’s not doing anything for the gym, or for my best friend… I say cut him loose.”
Jared stood up and walked out before he threw Bowie through the scratched and discolored the Plexiglas and down the two stories onto the gym floor.
He used Jensen's coping mechanism, kicking at the horizontal bag until it was beaten into submission.
He went back to his place and took a long shower, wondering why he was so pissed. Nothing Bowie said was untrue.
Jensen went to the library, where Lizzie wanted to hear all about his first day of class. He felt like he should have cookies and milk, the way his mom used to give him when he came back from school, and was hit with a hard crashing wave of want as he missed her. He kept his eyes down and nodded. Pulling his hand away when Lizzie touched him. “Jensen, what’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. Can I get books from these computers? You know, for my iPod?”
“Well, from some places, yes. I thought Jared was going to do that for you.”
“I want to be able to do it myself. I can’t count on Jared for everything.”
“Are you two having… are you still… did you break up?”
“What? No. He just thinks he knows what’s best for me all the time and sometimes, I want to pick my own books.”
“Well, okay, some of your favorites are available for free. Would you like to have those so you can tune in when you don’t need to pay total attention to the story?”
“Yeah. Please.”
“Sure, honey. Jensen. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I think. I just… I need to pick some books, regular ones and the read out loud kind. And then, I need some computer time, Lizzie.”
“Well, you take whatever time you want.”
“Thanks.
The next day, Jensen had a book and his iPod with him. His homework was done, and he’d even brought a bottle of water, because three hours in an overheated classroom was hell on his throat. He still hadn’t really spoken to anyone, and although he didn’t smoke, and hadn’t in a long time he went outside when break was called. The girl who sat next to him, Tamara, offered him a cigarette. He shook his head.
“I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t smoke in front of my kid, and he’s always with me except for when I’m here so it’s practically my only chance.”
Jensen nodded, unsure what to say. Apparently he didn’t need to say much. She pulled out a picture of herself and a boy, same dark hair, same mocha skin tone. He was clinging to her and waving at the camera. “He’s 18 months old, and kind of why I’m here. Can’t be a good mom without even a GED, right?”
Jensen remained silent and the break went on like that. He’d hmmm, or chuckle, and she’d talk. She smoked three cigarettes before people started filing back in. Jensen tried to pay attention in class but sometimes even with the textbook and workbook in front of him it got confusing.
On the way out he smiled and said “bye Tamara.”
She smiled back. “See ya’ Jensen.”
Jensen walked to the library; he wanted to research something.
The next day he accepted a cigarette from her. He felt guilty the whole time, hearing his father tell him what a nasty habit it was, hearing his own wallet protesting the possible future purchases, hearing Jared, who would be against it for health reasons, on principle, because of how it would affect his fighting, and maybe some other reasons Jared hadn’t thought of yet..
On Thursday he bought a pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter, and was able to return Tamara’s kindness.
When he got back from class Jared was waiting for him in front of the building. When they got up to Jensen's room Jared put a hand on his shoulder, leaning in. “You’re smoking?”
“Well, we get a break, and everyone seems to go outside for… and I wanted to be social, not just sit inside with my head phones on…”
“So you decided to spend money that you won’t spend on a decent jacket, or a place to live, or something on you walls to prove you live here, on something that’ll ruin your health, fuck up your breathing, and get in the way of your wrestling? No. I’m telling you no.”
“I’m not wearing the fucking wristband. You can’t tell me no!”
Jared sat down. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? You want to run my life, but only the parts that are convenient to you. I’m still the same fuck-up you met months ago and now you want to tell me not to make friends? Are you afraid I’ll like them better than you? Because I won’t. What do you want from me?”
Jared looked up. “I want you to be happy.”
“I am.”
“Not from where I’m sitting. You don’t want to be doing anything you’re doing.”
“No, that’s you. You don’t want me living here. You don’t want me going to the library so much, you want me to fight more in the ring, you want me to get my GED, and then when I do that, you don’t want me to make friends. Maybe you’re one of those controlling boyfriends… I mean, in the bad kind of way, and I just never noticed it. I’ll find a new gym.”
The last words just hung there, and Jared stared at him. “What?”
“I’ll get out of your way. Find a new gym.” Jensen was unbuckling his watch, the matching wristband, trying to return it, remove all aspects of Jared from his life.
“The hell you will.” It was more a bellow than a statement. “I tell you I love you, and you ignore it. I try to take care of you and let you have whatever freedom you want, and you resent me for wanting you to have more in your life than a crappy room in a boarding house and a job you hate. I want you to do more than read all night.”
“Like what? Fuck you?”
“Like sleep!”
Jensen stared at him and Jared shook his head. “You think I don’t notice? You don’t read that fast Jensen, but you’re reading five books a week sometimes. You come to the gym at seven in the morning, but you don’t get off work 'til two. You spend all night at my place in bed, reading. You. Do. Not. Sleep.
“I get it, I really do, you’ve been through a lot, I’m not sure I could sleep either, but I think you’re punishing yourself, and there is no way I’m letting you do that. You wanna see controlling? Start actively hurting yourself, like you are with those fucking cigarettes, and you’ll see controlling.”
“Oh, that’s funny coming from you. You don’t think I should smoke but you’ll push me into a ring with a guy who wants to pummel me to death. But god-fucking-forbid I smoke a cigarette!”
“I thought… I thought you…”
“No, you didn’t. Bowie wants you to prove that I serve a purpose and you don’t want to admit that my ass is enough of a purpose for you.”
“Is that what you think? Is that really… that I’m just in this to get laid? Because I gotta tell you, you are high-fucking-maintenance if all I’m looking for is sex.”
“So why don’t you go find something easier?”
“Because I love you” and even if you don’t love me back, that’s just what I’m stuck with. I’m in love with you, motherfucker.”
Jared didn’t even stay to hear what Jensen was going to say next. He slammed the door on his way out.
Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. Jensen wiped his fingers over his eyes, making sure the tears were gone. It was his landlord saying he’d had a complaint about the noise and to keep it down from now own.
Jensen nodded, grabbled his backpack and left. He had no idea what to do now.
Jensen didn’t go to the library. Lizzie would know something was wrong and he didn’t want to talk about it. Instead, he sat in his room, trying to focus on “The Count of Monte Cristo and not wonder what it was about him that made it so easy for people to leave him.
His mother would have fought if Jilly was still around, but it was just him, and so she didn’t fight. His father didn’t fight because his mother was gone. How come no one wanted him around? He sat staring at his homework assignment and feeling sorry for himself until it was time to change his clothes and go to work.
It was loud and rowdy for a Thursday and Jensen ended up breaking up three fights and physically removing two guys from the premises in a single night. He left quietly, making sure that the parking lot was clear before he left. Jared startled him. “I didn’t want to wait at your place.”
“So you decided here, where I almost killed a guy was a good spot?”
“You didn’t almost kill anyone. We’ve been over this.”
Jensen stopped. “What do you want, Jared?”
“You. I miss you.”
“It’s only been a couple of hours.”
“I miss the idea of you in my life. I miss the reality of you in my life.”
“Yeah, well, I need time, Jared. Something’s wrong.”
“Wrong, physically?”
“No, not physically. You’re awesome at taking care of me but… what if… what… what if I never learn to do it myself and you leave?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Can I have some time? I promise I won’t leave town, break my probation and get arrested and violated.” He stared at the ground.
“Yeah, take your time. I guess I just… I know I’m not going anywhere. Just remember that.”
“Yeah.”
Danny came up behind Jensen. “This guy bothering you?”
“Naaah, I’m okay. See you tomorrow.”
Danny seemed hesitant to leave but did walk away. So did Jared and Jensen went home, finished his “Who I Am” essay to be graded for punctuation and spelling.
He went the rest of the weekend without speaking to Jared and felt the hole in his life, in everything he did. There was no one to care if he bought bologna or some more acceptable form of protein. No one to care if he was taking care of himself. There was no one to talk to. Lizzie being off Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.
There was also no one telling him to move, telling him to get a better place, a place he didn’t deserve and wasn’t sure he could afford, and no one asking him to get in the ring.
He sat down and took another stab at his “Who I Am” essay, but this time it wasn’t for class.
On Monday he came back to the gym and Jared was so excited to see him that it hurt, but Jensen was just as happy to see Jared.
After working out, Jared was tentative about asking Jensen back to his place to shower. Jensen took the lead. “Can I use your shower?”
And Jared was so accommodating it was cute.
He showered and came out in a towel, just like he always did, but he didn’t offer his wrist and he could see Jared's disappointment.
“We need to talk.”
Jared took a deep breath.
“I think you’re right.”
“I am?”
“I want to try to find my own place. Somewhere that I can have loud fights with my boyfriend and not get kicked out. Somewhere that I can wear this,” he picked up the wrist band from the table, “all the time”.
He offered his wrist and Jared almost fell to his knees in his haste to buckle it on.
“I think… I think I love you too. I don’t know, I’ve never loved anyone but my parents, but I know I love how you take care of me, and how you get so excited over new equipment for the gym, and how you want things from me because you really think I’m that capable.”
“You are.”
“Yeah, we um, disagree on that, but I’m working on it, but…”
Jared looked up at him.
“I don’t want to fight. I hate it. It hurts, I always look like a thug, and I get that panic in my belly. I’ll never be a top ranked pro but even if I could be… I’ve lived the way other people told me I should for so long.
The band is on my arm. I don’t want to ever take it off. If you tell me I have to fight, I will. I’ll fight. But I’m telling you that I don’t want to.”
“Then I’m telling you that you’re not allowed to.”
Jensen looked at him, and he knew his eyes had gone wide. “What?” He’d expected more argument than this.
“I didn’t know you hated it that much.”
“I didn’t tell you.”
“If you’re gonna wear this, all the time.” Jared ran his finger around the edge of the wristband. “You have to be completely honest with me. I can’t do this if I’m afraid I might be hurting you.”
“Okay.’
“Okay?”
“Okay. I love you. I’ll be honest.”
“And you realize you still have to do what I say.”
Jensen nodded. “That’s what I want.”
“Then get dressed and go to class. But when you’re done, I want you back here. And no cigarettes.”
Jensen nodded and disappeared into the bedroom, returning in jeans and one of Jared's sweatshirts. “So, I’m going.”
“Okay, Oh, and Jensen?”
Jensen looked back and Jared fisted his sweatshirt and pulled him in for a deep kiss. “I love you, don’t you ever doubt that.”
“Yes sir.” Jensen wiped his thumb over his lip, threw his backpack over his shoulder and left, turning to call over his shoulder. “I love you.”
He had a playful smile on his face and felt something that he recognized from a long time ago, as hope.
~~~~~~~~~~ Credit Roll ~~~~~~~~~~
Jensen took the GED test and passed in the 75th percentile. He wasn’t sure why he needed it but he did feel kinda accomplished having done it. Jared told him that was kind of the point.
Six months after he got his GED. Eight months after he started wearing both cuffs all the time and stopped fighting Jared asked him to just look at a few apartments.
Jensen and Jared walked through a couple of complexes and when they found one with an apartment on the third floor with a huge sliding door to a back deck Jensen showed some interest.
“I could put a table out here and read outside.”
Jared smiled. “you could.”
So Jensen applied, because for less money than he was paying now, he could have an actual bedroom, a real kitchen with more cabinet space and Jared looked so pleased that he was willing to try. Jensen had moments when he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing, changing his address, signing a one year lease. But he did it and when he moved in, he invited Lizze over to see it.
He thought he’d made a mistake when she started crying but she promised it was tears of joy. Promised that this is what she wanted for him. a safe comfortable nice place for him to live.
Jensen loves his new place, and his Salvation-Army furniture that he owns, that is his to take care of.
He loves having a desk where he can organize things. He hopes someday Jared will want him to come live at his place, but until then. This is closer to the gym and one short bus ride to the library. He can walk it if he feels like it, it’s only two and a half miles.
Jensen still knows he’s made mistakes. He’s still afraid of making any more but he thinks maybe if he keeps checking with Lizzie and Jared, who don’t seem to mind helping him he can do more than just get by.
He knows it’s working when they both come to his place with cake and pizza to celebrate his having gotten off parole. It’s a moment that almost makes him cry.
Jared wishes Jensen was ready to live with him. he loves it when Jensen's with him but Jensen needs to finish a few things first. Needs to know that he can do these things on his own.
The GED is a big step. So is the apartment. Jared had never been so happy for Jensen as when they set up his new outdoor furniture and watched him sit in the sun and read. He looked like a contented cat.
He thinks sometimes Jensen should get a cat, some living thing in the apartment but then soon he really does hope for Jensen to join him permanently at his place and his new puppy, Sadie is probably going to be big and active with her boxer lineage. Instead he buys Jensen a brand new king sized bed, and a big easy chair with a strong light for reading.
He also convinces Jensen to go to the optometrist. Turns out Jensen does need glasses and the wire frames somehow make Jensen look hotter, which Jared would have said was impossible. It pisses Jared off that he didn’t do it sooner. He’s glad it’s done now.
Jensen made friends with Tamara from the GED class. She came in to take the women’s self defense class on Jensen's recommendation and turned out to be great with numbers. She’s the cashier at the pro shop, where they also collect dues. It frees up bowie’s time and she loves her job. Jensen feels good having helped someone, giving back.
Jared watches the way Jensen walks now. Not always so hunched over. The way he asks for things, even small things like coffee or juice. The way he sometimes buys things he needs without asking Jared. It’s all progress that Jared loves to see.
The night Jensen was finally off parole. When Lizzie had left a few books as gifts and gone home, Jared stayed and after they’d fucked Jensen ducked his head into Jared's shoulder and mumbled three words against Jared's ear.
Jared felt Jensen's body tighten waiting for a negative response. There was none, but Jared, he just repeated it back and held Jensen, biting his lip to keep himself from crying. This was big. This was huge. This was everything.
And they all lived contentedly ever after
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