TKO, 5/8, R, J2
Title: TKO
Author:Vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: Overall R, This part PG-13
Word Count: 5100+/-
Summary Jensen is an ex-con with a clean slate. Jared owns an MMA gym. They like each other, a lot.
A/N: This fic is complete in eight parts. I will post on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
TKO One ~ TKO Two ~ TKO Three ~ TKO Four ~ TKO Five ~ TKO Six ~ TKO Seven ~ TKO Eight
Thanks to: passing_through for the beta work. Even when you didn’t get it, you were there for the story. Thank you darlin’
Graphics by: Raeschae
TKO
Round Five
Two weeks later Jensen was showing real progress in his technique. Once he’d embraced taking directions from Jared he’d picked up new methods quickly. After his “workouts” now, (which still consisted of him beating the holy hell out of something for almost an hour), he used Jared's shower. This time Jared was sitting on the couch, waiting for Jensen to emerge. He always took long, blisteringly hot showers and got twitchy when anyone was in the bathroom with him. Jared had learned that the hard way and figured someday, maybe, Jensen would tell him the specifics. For now, prison showers was all Jared had to know to let it be.
Jared was nervous today. He didn’t think he had reason to be, but he was. He’d bought Jensen a gift and every gift was a fucking struggle to get Jensen to accept. He’d take orders, but not kindness, not outright.
Jensen appeared, a cloud of steam following him. A towel wrapped around his waist, another draped over his shoulders. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“When the option is this?” Jared stared at Jensen's body, more fit than it had ever been. Working out, plus a training diet and weight lifting five times a week was… Jensen looked good.
“Whatever, what’s up?” Jensen was fidgeting with the towel at his neck and Jared stood up, holding the towel on either end and pulling Jensen close. “I can’t just want to kiss you?”
Jensen shrugged and Jared covered Jensen's mouth with his own, hoping, someday, that Jensen would accept that he was deserving of all kinds of things, small kindnesses and affection being at the top of the list.
The kiss continued and Jared could feel Jensen half hard under the towel. He pulled away and Jensen made what Jared considered to be categorically, the hottest noise in the history of man. It was a needy, soft hitched breathing sound, followed by an exhale of a low groan.
Jared would do anything to keep that sound in his life, but right now, he needed Jensen thinking with his upstairs brain. He steered him to the kitchen table, resting his hands on Jensen's shoulders, pushing him into the chair.
“I have a present for you.”
“Jared…”
“You don’t have to accept, just look at it first.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Jared handed him a box.
Jensen opened it and looked up. “A watch?”
“It’s kinda symbolic, see, the band, it’s wide, like a cuff, like, you know, if you were mine all the time. And the other band, it’s just a cuff. That one stays here so, kinda, when you’re out, you can remember that I’m around, that I’m gonna take care of you. And when you’re here…well, this is better than that ugly sweatband, right?”
He’d spoken clearly, gone slow, because he wanted to rush through, and maybe plead a little if Jensen said no, but Jensen held out both his wrists and Jared was the one who was more than half hard now as he buckled the caramel brown leather, kissing the inside of each wrist before and after..
The bands were three inches wide and looked… fucking hot. “The watch is waterproof, so you don’t ever have to take it off if you don’t want to.”
Jensen leaned forward and Jared pushed him back. “Band’s on. Now we follow my rules.”
Jensen nodded, falling into subspace so quickly it sometimes concerned Jared.
“I like that you’re already naked. Stand up.”
Jensen did and Jared could see the muscles in his body twitch as he resisted the urge to cover himself when Jared removed the towel; instead, he balled his fists, but Jared wrapped his hands around them, tsking. “No anger here.”
Jensen let Jared thread their fingers together and then kiss him again, Jared’s erection pressing against Jensen's through Jared's soft cotton sweatpants.
He pulled away. “Go lie on the bed, hands at your sides. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Jensen felt the leather against his wrists. It was hard, rough, but he knew it would soften up.. He wanted it to. Wanted to wear them both all the time. Jared said he didn’t think Jensen was ready. Jensen knew they’d both be ready soon.
He could feel his heartbeat thumping in his cock, could feel how much he wanted whatever came next. He didn’t care if it was pain or pleasure, although he kind of knew it wouldn’t be pain; Jared didn’t seem to be into that unless he was punishing Jensen for negative behavior. A quick hard pinch when Jensen put himself down. A sharp bite when Jensen denied himself or didn’t follow directions, almost always followed by a soft kiss or a gentle touch somewhere else.
Now Jared was kneeling between Jensen's knees. “Gonna open you up slow, fuck you hard and then watch you sleep 'til it’s time to go to the library.”
Jensen wanted to say something but Jared put his finger on Jensen's lips and Jensen just sucked it into his mouth, tonguing it, scraping his teeth over the pad and making Jared groan.
He moved his arms over his head, only to receive a sharp pinch on his inner thigh. He put his arms back down. “Good boy.”
He loved that. Knew he shouldn’t, completely loved being told he was good, that he was doing it right.
Jared looked up at him between his thighs. “Don’t you dare come without permission.”
Jensen shook his head and Jared’s mouth bypassed his cock and sucked one of his balls in, licking and then rolling it with his tongue, sucking and letting it loose with a light scrape of teeth, just enough to feel like the world might end if it didn’t happen again.
Jensen spread his fingers out so wide they almost hurt, because he wasn’t allowed to make fists, not when they were fucking. He pressed his hands into the mattress and tried to bend his knees, only to feel a sharp bite where his ass curved into his thigh.
Instinctively, he pressed himself back into the mattress and Jared soothed his hip, running his thumb over the spot where the bone and muscle turned from torso to leg. The spot where Jared liked to suck and lick and nibble until he had a bruise there.
The bruise had been there for three weeks now, just above the tattoo. He kind of wanted a tattoo right there, a target for Jared to hit, and he kind of wanted Jared to keep his mark on him without ink.
Jared followed the line of the tattoo, nibbling at the spiral on the inside of his thigh where the tattoo ended, worrying the raised skin that Jared now knew was a burn mark given to him by someone in prison. If Jensen had his way, that’s all he’d ever know of the story. There was another sharp pinch on his belly next to his cock.
“Stop it. You’re not supposed to be thinking about anything but me.”
“I’m…”
“Don’t apologize.” Jared sat back. “Just stop worrying and roll over.”
“Yes, sir.”
He did and Jared ran his fingers in a gentle shower of sensation down his back. “So good for me.”
Jensen bit the edge of his pillow, trying not to respond.
“So beautiful, just want to take care of you.”
Jared's body blanketed him. “I want to hear you. It’s okay.” He licked at a tear track, starting at Jensen’s chin, and following it back up to the corner of his eye. “Want you to feel good. Need to cry? Let that out if you gotta.”
Jensen let the tears fall as Jared kissed his neck, ran his mouth over the angels on his shoulder, moved lower and bit at the flesh of his ass and by the time he parted Jensen's cheeks, making him blush like it always did, he was out of tears, and surprised. He’d always been afraid if he let himself cry he’d never stop. He was beginning to realize, maybe sometimes, Jared was right about what he needed emotionally as well as physically.
And then Jared was nibbling on the delicate skin between his cheeks, pushing a wet finger just inside his hole, and the only thing he knew he needed was more.
Jared paid careful attention to Jensen's reactions, not just because they were hot, or he was trying to condition him away from assuming a fight stance when he was turned on, but mostly because Jensen gave little tells about what he liked, or didn’t, but he’d never outright ask for more, or for Jared to stop and that was just not something Jared could risk, not with the level of trust Jensen was willing to turn over to him.
Now, as he pressed his tongue inside Jensen's ass, felt him push back onto Jared and then grind down onto the mattress he was pretty sure they were okay. He pulled Jensen's arms down to his sides, clamping his hands around the leather on Jensen's wrists.
Jensen made another of those hot little sounds that let Jared know he was okay. Jared moved Jensen's hands until they were crossed behind his back, his fingers touching the opposite elbow. “Like that, like I tied them that way.”
Jensen arched his body, pressing his ass closer to Jared's mouth. Jared laid a hard smack on Jensen's ass and heard the pained whine combine with a grunt of pleasure, and quickly grabbed the base of his cock before he came.
He poured lube on his fingers, letting it warm up, and sliding it over Jensen's hole, watching as he fought not to push back, not to try to fuck himself on Jared's fingers. He moved slowly, one finger moving in and out quickly, but too small, too narrow to get Jensen off. Jensen's head was thrashing now and Jared added a second finger and then stilled.
Jensen wanted to push up again; Jared could see his muscles shaking with need as he kept his fingers inside him still. He pressed a hand into the small of his back, just below his folded arms. “So good for me. Gonna treat you right, reward you.”
“Please.”
“Ready to beg already.”
“Please.”
“Please what?”
“More, please, more, god, Jared, fuck me. Want you to shove your cock in me, split me open…”
Jared pushed a third finger in and smacked Jensen's ass, this time with no intent on punishment.
“Go ahead, show me how you’re gonna ride my cock.”
“Thank you,” Jensen muttered.
Jared unfolded Jensen's arms. “C’mon, wanna see you fuck yourself.”
Jensen’s was on his hands and knees, rocking back onto Jared's fingers. Jared pushed back into him while Jensen’s head dropped, sweat running from his temple.
“Want me to fuck you?”
“Yes, please, Jared, please, please, want your cock.”
Jared pulled his fingers out and lined his cock up, pressing just the head inside. “C’mon, you set the pace.”
Jensen slammed back with a loud cry, taking all of Jared at once, but when he tried to move again immediately, Jared grabbed his hips. “Give it a minute.”
“Wanna make you feel good.”
“Trust me,” Jared squeezed Jensen’s hips just a little, “being inside you feels great.”
Finally, he felt safe to release Jensen and they both found a rhythm, Jensen pushing back hard, Jared pulling out almost completely, only to thrust back in with restrained force and when Jensen was begging to come, wet and sticky and close to unable to hold back, Jared bit his neck just where it met his shoulder.
“Show me how good you feel. Come.”
Jensen did, mere moments before Jared.
They collapsed on the bed together, Jared still inside Jensen, running his hand over Jensen’s forehead, kissing the back of his neck and finally maneuvering them 'til they were both on their sides. He pulled out after Jensen fell asleep, and just like he’d promised, he watched him sleep. By one he’d be antsy to go to the library, he always was on Mondays. 'til then, Jared just enjoyed the way Jensen looked. Content, cared for, safe.
Jensen took the band off of his right wrist and missed it immediately. He understood why he wasn’t allowed to wear it all the time. He didn’t want to be responsible for himself, why would Jared? He liked having a watch though, it was more convenient than constantly digging his phone out to see the time, and reminded him that Jared was around, somewhere, if he needed him.
He made it to the library by two and Lizzie was there, smiling as always. Her kids were sitting somewhat quietly behind the desk. Her daughter was putting stacks of books in order, emulating her mom. Scott was separating the kids’ books from the adults.
“Got your helpers with you today?”
“It’s an in-service day for teachers.”
Janie looked up at him and smiled shyly. Jensen chucked her on the chin. “Day off of school? Sounds nice.”
She blushed and Lizzie put a soothing hand on her back. Jensen actually winked at her, just because he knew she had a crush and wanted her to feel noticed. Lizzie laughed. “Why don’t you flirt with me like that?”
“You’re already married; besides, I’m a one woman man.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “That’s not how I understand it.”
He glared at her and she smiled innocently. He handed her back three books. “I don’t like Jane Austen.”
“Well, I wanted you to give her a shot; no one said you have to like everything.”
He nodded. “So how was your weekend?”
“The usual, soccer practice for the kids, then ballet, then fourteen thousand phone calls between myself, my brother and my sister about Thanksgiving.”
“Why so many phone calls?”
“Benny says he can do it at the restaurant. I want to do it at my house. My sister is going to Cabo with her accountant husband and wants to know if I’ll keep her two kids while she’s gone.”
“Oh. Is Benny gonna cook? I didn’t know Benny could cook.”
“He can’t, and I won’t let him make someone else work on Thanksgiving. Where are you going for the holiday?”
“Me and my Dad used to go to Shoney’s. Neither one of us could cook, so at least we got turkey and stuffing.”
Lizzie had that small smile that told him there we something wrong with his story, but he didn’t know what it was.
“Jensen, would you come to my house for Thanksgiving? There’ll be football, pie, turkey with all the trimmings, and you know my kids love you.”
“But your husband. And Benny's my boss.”
“Your boss who likes you. Please, I don’t know who else is going to eat all that turkey.”
Jensen frowned. “Are you sure?”
Lizzie nodded happily. “I’m sure. Now why don’t you go choose some books for yourself?”
“But…”
“Nope, I’m leaving it up to you. You can do this.”
Jensen nodded and walked away, wishing he were surprised, but everyone got tired of helping him eventually. He wrapped his hand around his bare right wrist. Even Jared would, soon.
Lizzie checked the books out and offered him another go at the typing program.
He shook his head and left for his room, head down against the cold.
He spent the rest of the day reading, disliking the book on basic principle because he’d chosen it.
He didn’t even bother to eat anything; he wasn’t hungry. Thanksgiving at Lizzie’s should sound like fun, but being a pity invite didn’t, and he couldn’t even remember his last “real” Thanksgiving, maybe the year after his mom died, when his aunt had them over, but dad got drunk and his cousins made fun of him for being an orphan, which he wasn’t, and he ended up crying outside. Maybe he could explain to Lizzie that he couldn’t go.
He read until his eyes drooped and he finally fell asleep at the table.
He woke to a loud bang on his door. Probably rent collection. He grabbed the money from his hidden stash and opened the door. Jared was standing in front of him.
Jensen yawned. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Jared brushed past him. “You were asleep?”
Jensen nodded.
Jared looked around and glared a little. “At the table?”
Jensen blushed. “Yeah, kinda.”
“So at nine in the morning, you were asleep at the table. Why didn’t you go back to bed?”
“Back?” And Jensen realized his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth.
Jared sat down on the couch, pulling Jensen with him until they were tangled together. “You read all night and finally crashed bent over a kitchen table. Do you think that’s taking care of yourself?”
“Lizzie asked me to Thanksgiving,” he mumbled into Jared's neck.
“That’s awesome.”
“But it’s just because she thinks I’m pathetic.
Jared pushed back a little “Pathetic? Who said that? Did Lizzie?”
“No, Lizzie would never say something like that.”
“She’d just think it and then invite you out of spite?’
Jensen chewed his lip. That didn’t sound like Lizzie. She was nice. He shook his head.
“So maybe she invited you because she likes you, and wants you to have someplace to go on the holiday?”
Jensen shrugged.
“What did you tell her?” Jared was stroking the side of his head, a sign he thought Jensen was nervous and possibly about to bolt or punch something.
“I said I’d go.”
“Good. Now, why are you sleeping at a table?”
“I was reading a good book. I picked it out myself. Lizzie won’t do that for me anymore.”
“Good. What are you reading?”
Jensen blushed “The Island of the Sequined Love Nun.”
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah, I um, liked one of his other books so…”
“Well, good, and you didn’t hate it just because you picked it out yourself?”
“How did you…? I mean… No.”
Jared gave one of those half smiles. “So, you got so into the book, and so wrapped around the axle about Thanksgiving, that you didn’t come to the gym.”
“Do I have to come every day?”
“No. You don’t have to do anything. I am going to worry though, if after more than three months of seeing you every day, you just pull a no show.”
“I’m sorry, I should have called.”
“You were asleep, and it’s okay. I think maybe I…”
“What?”
“I think, after I gave you the bracelet, I… I was afraid it was too much and you just didn’t want it.”
Jensen sat up. “I do want it. I want it… all the time, but I know you don’t want that. So…”
“Hey, I don’t want what we had to change. I don’t want it all the time because you need to be functional. If you’re functional, fully confident in your ability to make these decisions and follow through, then you can give that power right back to me… but you have to have it to give it to me.”
Jensen tilted his head, unsure. “Is this just an excuse to not have to deal with my bullshit?”
“No. It’s a reason for you to deal with it.”
“Can we go to the gym now? I really think I need to work the heavy bag, you know, the one that’s shaped like a guy.”
“The freestanding bag, yeah.”
“Yeah, I think I need to work on that for a while.”
Jared curled his hand around Jensen's chin. “We’ll go back to my place when you’re done?”
“Yeah.”
Jared leaned down and kissed him, and the work they were doing had nothing to do with a heavy bag a few minutes later when there was a loud knock on the door.
“That’s rent. I have to call the test line too. I’ll see you there?”
“If you’re not there, I will track you down.”
Jensen nodded quickly and Jared kissed him again before sliding out between the doorjamb and Jensen's landlord.
Jared bit back his frustration. Jensen could not wear the same beat up pair of jeans he wore daily to Lizzie’s. Add that to the fact that he had about a thousand dollars taped under a drawer and Jared had decided that a shopping trip was in order.
Jensen was more petulant than Jared's four year old nephew in a store. Well, that wasn’t fair, but Jensen was pretty damn resistant to buying anything. Something nice was an even harder sell.
It took the better part of an hour, and a spectacular blowjob, if he did say so himself, to talk Jensen out of thrift stores. A little more cajoling moved him beyond Wal-Mart. Jared recognized that these and the Family Dollar next door were Jensen's comfort zone, but he really wanted to expand that comfort zone. Not because he cared what Jensen wore… but because he had a feeling that Jensen did, and had just decided he didn’t deserve new things, even jeans, or two ply toilet paper, so now Thanksgiving was in two days and here they were at Kohl’s, looking for pants. His ultimate goal; get him a couple of new pairs of jeans, too.
Jensen stepped out of the dressing room. His fading gray crew neck, with a pocket that was pulling away at the seam, paired with dark blue dress pants.
“What’s wrong with these?”
“They don’t move enough.”
“And jeans do?”
“My jeans are comfortable.”
“And I’m not saying you can’t wear them, I just think one nice pair of pants…”
“Can we get them in black?”
“No, you can’t wear them to work. Your work clothes get beat up, literally.”
“I don’t have anything that goes with these.”
‘We’re going to buy you a sweater.”
“Sweater’s are itchy.”
“Then a nice shirt.”
“Those need ironing.”
“We’ll find something.”
“I don’t think Lizzie said there was a dress code.”
“Jensen.”
“What?”
“You promised.”
“Fine.”
“We don’t have to get those, try the ones in dark olive.”
Jared closed his eyes. At least they knew what size he was now. Every guy knows what size jeans he wears, right? Not Jensen. He claimed to wear “somewhere in the middle of the rack” basing his sizing on the Salvation-Army.
So now, if nothing else, he knew Jensen was a 32 waist and anywhere from a 34 to a 36 inseam. It narrowed the choices at least a little.
Finally convincing him to go with the dark olive ramie blend pants, they found a cotton sweater and a pack of better crew necks. Jared thought maybe he’d save the new jeans fight for another day, but after Jensen paid for everything, and received a 20% discount for filling out a credit application, he looked at Jared.
“So maybe a new pair of jeans wouldn’t kill me.”
If they hadn’t been in the breezeway between Kohl’s and the rest of the mall he would have kissed the man, instead he just walked with him to the Gap.
Heading back to Jensen's Jared debated with himself about bringing up a couple of issues he wanted to discuss, but Jensen's head was tilted back, his eyes closed, his mouth in a half smile and Jared just let him rest.
Jensen refused to take the tags off of anything. Jared wanted him to. Wanted to guarantee that he didn’t have a bout of guilt and return the items tomorrow, but Jensen refused, tucking the pants in the bottom drawer, the shirt and sweater in the middle drawer. He turned to Jared.
“I know you think it’s stupid, but…”
He stopped and Jared waited.
“I’ve… it’s been a long time since I’ve had anything new. When my mom was sick, and then my dad wasn’t working… we always went to the thrift stores or church sales. Sometimes I had to just make do. When I was sixteen I raided an old box of my dad’s clothes. Stuff he’d gotten too fat for. Found a few shirts, some jeans, got me through 'til he died. I just… I want them to be new for a little bit longer.”
Jared nodded. “Yeah, okay. Don’t suppose someday you’ll replace the ratty backpack.”
“It’s better than I can afford new, and no one would steal this.”
“Well, I’m gonna…” Jared gestured towards the door.
“Yeah, okay.”
Jared took a step forward and Jensen took a step back.
“Hey, what’s…?”
“Don’t leave.”
“Okay, why not?”
“I want you?”
“Is that a question?”
“I know we never really mess around here. I know it’s supposed to be ‘my space’ or whatever, but… I want you to… you know, here. I want to have that memory.”
Jared put a hand on either side of Jensen’s head, tilting it up. “Open your eyes.”
“Are you mad?”
“Not if you open your eyes.”
Jensen blinked and focused and then practically slumped against the wall. “You’re not mad.”
“Nope, but why do you think you need a last memory?”
“You’re getting me ready to be independent. When I am, you won’t want me anymore.”
“Wow, you’ve got that wrong.”
“Nuh uh, I read about it. When you change someone, make them stronger or weaker, or whatever, once they’re that way, then you don’t like them anymore. You like the challenge.”
“You read a book about me?”
“No.”
“So what’s this book you read?”
Jensen shrugged. “Just some book.”
“In what, the psychology section?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“The self-help and relationship section?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“Well, those are general books about general conditions, and full of bullshit. You don’t like Jane Austen? I don’t like quasi professionals telling my boyfriend that I’m trying to get rid of him.”
“I’m your boyfriend?”
“What did you think you were?”
Jensen chewed his lip, considering, and Jared shook his head. “Don’t answer; it’ll just piss me off. You’re my boyfriend. The only man I kiss. The only man I fuck. You’re mine and you’re right, I don’t want to have you here, I want you to have space of your own, but not because I want to get rid of you. I don’t.”
Jared held Jensen's gaze and could pinpoint the moment he relaxed enough to believe him.
“So we’re okay?”
Jensen nodded.
“Good, I’ve gotta go to the gym, see you later tonight?”
“I’ll be by to work out and then if you want me to, I can…”
“I want you to.”
“Thanks.”
“You don’t have to thank me for wanting you.”
“Feels like I do.”
“Yeah, but we’re working on that, right?”
Jensen nodded and Jared left, knowing he was just going to sit at the table and read a book until he thought it was a reasonable time to come to the gym. Jensen wasn’t good with free time.
When Jared got back to the gym Bowie and Ronnie were waiting for him upstairs. It felt like an ambush.
“Oh Christ, now what?”
“Now you tell us when he’s gonna spar with someone other than you, or get in the ring, at all. You’re wasting a lot of time on this guy and I’m not seeing any progress towards getting him on our roster.”
“Well, he’s not going on anyone else’s roster.” Jared dropped a pile of mail on the table and flopped back into the chair in the far corner, trying to maintain his loose limbed, relaxed attitude. He had a feeling he was failing.
“Look, Jared,” Bowie stepped in front of Ronnie, “we’ve been friends for a long time, and I know you have a penchant for birdies with broken wings and shit, but this is getting ridiculous; it’s been over three months and yeah, he can hit things, really hard, but I don’t think he’s ever gonna be ready to hit someone.”
Jared snorted. “You know he’s a bouncer at Benny's, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s less about hitting and more about looking like you will. He’s scared when he spars with you.”
Jared sighed. “I know.”
“So if you want to work with him, if you want your relationship with him to be whatever the fuck it is, good… great even, he seems to make you happier than your right hand did, but maybe we should stop hoping for the whole miraculous fighter mentality.”
“I think he can do it.”
“That’s wonderful,” Ronnie cut in. “If your belief was enough. But we need him to think he can do it.”
Jared nodded. “Leave this to me. I don’t need your help.”
“Yes, you do.” Bowie had his “tough love” expression on. “You’re not showing up for your other clients. You haven’t run the kids group in two weeks and the squirts miss you. Ronnie can’t work with the kids for shit, and you know I’m not the one to do it if it can be avoided. So do whatever you want but Get. Back. To. Work.”
Jared nodded. They were being pains in the ass, but they weren’t wrong.
“I’m sorry I’ve been dropping the ball. When I get back after Thanksgiving it’s gonna be a whole new world. And don’t forget to push the gift memberships. Those things are profitable.”
“Because people never show up, and we already have their money.”
Jared smiled. “Like I said, push the gift memberships. Now, if I’m not mistaken, that’s Robinson and Kraits. Why don’t I go coach them, like they’re paying me to, and I’ll talk to you chuckleheads later.”
Jared greeted the guys and went to change. Then, for hours, he lost himself in the training of two very mediocre fighters who had no hope of being more than well trained, mediocre fighters.
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Author:Vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: Overall R, This part PG-13
Word Count: 5100+/-
Summary Jensen is an ex-con with a clean slate. Jared owns an MMA gym. They like each other, a lot.
A/N: This fic is complete in eight parts. I will post on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
TKO One ~ TKO Two ~ TKO Three ~ TKO Four ~ TKO Five ~ TKO Six ~ TKO Seven ~ TKO Eight
Thanks to: passing_through for the beta work. Even when you didn’t get it, you were there for the story. Thank you darlin’
Graphics by: Raeschae
TKO
Round Five
Two weeks later Jensen was showing real progress in his technique. Once he’d embraced taking directions from Jared he’d picked up new methods quickly. After his “workouts” now, (which still consisted of him beating the holy hell out of something for almost an hour), he used Jared's shower. This time Jared was sitting on the couch, waiting for Jensen to emerge. He always took long, blisteringly hot showers and got twitchy when anyone was in the bathroom with him. Jared had learned that the hard way and figured someday, maybe, Jensen would tell him the specifics. For now, prison showers was all Jared had to know to let it be.
Jared was nervous today. He didn’t think he had reason to be, but he was. He’d bought Jensen a gift and every gift was a fucking struggle to get Jensen to accept. He’d take orders, but not kindness, not outright.
Jensen appeared, a cloud of steam following him. A towel wrapped around his waist, another draped over his shoulders. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“When the option is this?” Jared stared at Jensen's body, more fit than it had ever been. Working out, plus a training diet and weight lifting five times a week was… Jensen looked good.
“Whatever, what’s up?” Jensen was fidgeting with the towel at his neck and Jared stood up, holding the towel on either end and pulling Jensen close. “I can’t just want to kiss you?”
Jensen shrugged and Jared covered Jensen's mouth with his own, hoping, someday, that Jensen would accept that he was deserving of all kinds of things, small kindnesses and affection being at the top of the list.
The kiss continued and Jared could feel Jensen half hard under the towel. He pulled away and Jensen made what Jared considered to be categorically, the hottest noise in the history of man. It was a needy, soft hitched breathing sound, followed by an exhale of a low groan.
Jared would do anything to keep that sound in his life, but right now, he needed Jensen thinking with his upstairs brain. He steered him to the kitchen table, resting his hands on Jensen's shoulders, pushing him into the chair.
“I have a present for you.”
“Jared…”
“You don’t have to accept, just look at it first.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Jared handed him a box.
Jensen opened it and looked up. “A watch?”
“It’s kinda symbolic, see, the band, it’s wide, like a cuff, like, you know, if you were mine all the time. And the other band, it’s just a cuff. That one stays here so, kinda, when you’re out, you can remember that I’m around, that I’m gonna take care of you. And when you’re here…well, this is better than that ugly sweatband, right?”
He’d spoken clearly, gone slow, because he wanted to rush through, and maybe plead a little if Jensen said no, but Jensen held out both his wrists and Jared was the one who was more than half hard now as he buckled the caramel brown leather, kissing the inside of each wrist before and after..
The bands were three inches wide and looked… fucking hot. “The watch is waterproof, so you don’t ever have to take it off if you don’t want to.”
Jensen leaned forward and Jared pushed him back. “Band’s on. Now we follow my rules.”
Jensen nodded, falling into subspace so quickly it sometimes concerned Jared.
“I like that you’re already naked. Stand up.”
Jensen did and Jared could see the muscles in his body twitch as he resisted the urge to cover himself when Jared removed the towel; instead, he balled his fists, but Jared wrapped his hands around them, tsking. “No anger here.”
Jensen let Jared thread their fingers together and then kiss him again, Jared’s erection pressing against Jensen's through Jared's soft cotton sweatpants.
He pulled away. “Go lie on the bed, hands at your sides. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Jensen felt the leather against his wrists. It was hard, rough, but he knew it would soften up.. He wanted it to. Wanted to wear them both all the time. Jared said he didn’t think Jensen was ready. Jensen knew they’d both be ready soon.
He could feel his heartbeat thumping in his cock, could feel how much he wanted whatever came next. He didn’t care if it was pain or pleasure, although he kind of knew it wouldn’t be pain; Jared didn’t seem to be into that unless he was punishing Jensen for negative behavior. A quick hard pinch when Jensen put himself down. A sharp bite when Jensen denied himself or didn’t follow directions, almost always followed by a soft kiss or a gentle touch somewhere else.
Now Jared was kneeling between Jensen's knees. “Gonna open you up slow, fuck you hard and then watch you sleep 'til it’s time to go to the library.”
Jensen wanted to say something but Jared put his finger on Jensen's lips and Jensen just sucked it into his mouth, tonguing it, scraping his teeth over the pad and making Jared groan.
He moved his arms over his head, only to receive a sharp pinch on his inner thigh. He put his arms back down. “Good boy.”
He loved that. Knew he shouldn’t, completely loved being told he was good, that he was doing it right.
Jared looked up at him between his thighs. “Don’t you dare come without permission.”
Jensen shook his head and Jared’s mouth bypassed his cock and sucked one of his balls in, licking and then rolling it with his tongue, sucking and letting it loose with a light scrape of teeth, just enough to feel like the world might end if it didn’t happen again.
Jensen spread his fingers out so wide they almost hurt, because he wasn’t allowed to make fists, not when they were fucking. He pressed his hands into the mattress and tried to bend his knees, only to feel a sharp bite where his ass curved into his thigh.
Instinctively, he pressed himself back into the mattress and Jared soothed his hip, running his thumb over the spot where the bone and muscle turned from torso to leg. The spot where Jared liked to suck and lick and nibble until he had a bruise there.
The bruise had been there for three weeks now, just above the tattoo. He kind of wanted a tattoo right there, a target for Jared to hit, and he kind of wanted Jared to keep his mark on him without ink.
Jared followed the line of the tattoo, nibbling at the spiral on the inside of his thigh where the tattoo ended, worrying the raised skin that Jared now knew was a burn mark given to him by someone in prison. If Jensen had his way, that’s all he’d ever know of the story. There was another sharp pinch on his belly next to his cock.
“Stop it. You’re not supposed to be thinking about anything but me.”
“I’m…”
“Don’t apologize.” Jared sat back. “Just stop worrying and roll over.”
“Yes, sir.”
He did and Jared ran his fingers in a gentle shower of sensation down his back. “So good for me.”
Jensen bit the edge of his pillow, trying not to respond.
“So beautiful, just want to take care of you.”
Jared's body blanketed him. “I want to hear you. It’s okay.” He licked at a tear track, starting at Jensen’s chin, and following it back up to the corner of his eye. “Want you to feel good. Need to cry? Let that out if you gotta.”
Jensen let the tears fall as Jared kissed his neck, ran his mouth over the angels on his shoulder, moved lower and bit at the flesh of his ass and by the time he parted Jensen's cheeks, making him blush like it always did, he was out of tears, and surprised. He’d always been afraid if he let himself cry he’d never stop. He was beginning to realize, maybe sometimes, Jared was right about what he needed emotionally as well as physically.
And then Jared was nibbling on the delicate skin between his cheeks, pushing a wet finger just inside his hole, and the only thing he knew he needed was more.
Jared paid careful attention to Jensen's reactions, not just because they were hot, or he was trying to condition him away from assuming a fight stance when he was turned on, but mostly because Jensen gave little tells about what he liked, or didn’t, but he’d never outright ask for more, or for Jared to stop and that was just not something Jared could risk, not with the level of trust Jensen was willing to turn over to him.
Now, as he pressed his tongue inside Jensen's ass, felt him push back onto Jared and then grind down onto the mattress he was pretty sure they were okay. He pulled Jensen's arms down to his sides, clamping his hands around the leather on Jensen's wrists.
Jensen made another of those hot little sounds that let Jared know he was okay. Jared moved Jensen's hands until they were crossed behind his back, his fingers touching the opposite elbow. “Like that, like I tied them that way.”
Jensen arched his body, pressing his ass closer to Jared's mouth. Jared laid a hard smack on Jensen's ass and heard the pained whine combine with a grunt of pleasure, and quickly grabbed the base of his cock before he came.
He poured lube on his fingers, letting it warm up, and sliding it over Jensen's hole, watching as he fought not to push back, not to try to fuck himself on Jared's fingers. He moved slowly, one finger moving in and out quickly, but too small, too narrow to get Jensen off. Jensen's head was thrashing now and Jared added a second finger and then stilled.
Jensen wanted to push up again; Jared could see his muscles shaking with need as he kept his fingers inside him still. He pressed a hand into the small of his back, just below his folded arms. “So good for me. Gonna treat you right, reward you.”
“Please.”
“Ready to beg already.”
“Please.”
“Please what?”
“More, please, more, god, Jared, fuck me. Want you to shove your cock in me, split me open…”
Jared pushed a third finger in and smacked Jensen's ass, this time with no intent on punishment.
“Go ahead, show me how you’re gonna ride my cock.”
“Thank you,” Jensen muttered.
Jared unfolded Jensen's arms. “C’mon, wanna see you fuck yourself.”
Jensen’s was on his hands and knees, rocking back onto Jared's fingers. Jared pushed back into him while Jensen’s head dropped, sweat running from his temple.
“Want me to fuck you?”
“Yes, please, Jared, please, please, want your cock.”
Jared pulled his fingers out and lined his cock up, pressing just the head inside. “C’mon, you set the pace.”
Jensen slammed back with a loud cry, taking all of Jared at once, but when he tried to move again immediately, Jared grabbed his hips. “Give it a minute.”
“Wanna make you feel good.”
“Trust me,” Jared squeezed Jensen’s hips just a little, “being inside you feels great.”
Finally, he felt safe to release Jensen and they both found a rhythm, Jensen pushing back hard, Jared pulling out almost completely, only to thrust back in with restrained force and when Jensen was begging to come, wet and sticky and close to unable to hold back, Jared bit his neck just where it met his shoulder.
“Show me how good you feel. Come.”
Jensen did, mere moments before Jared.
They collapsed on the bed together, Jared still inside Jensen, running his hand over Jensen’s forehead, kissing the back of his neck and finally maneuvering them 'til they were both on their sides. He pulled out after Jensen fell asleep, and just like he’d promised, he watched him sleep. By one he’d be antsy to go to the library, he always was on Mondays. 'til then, Jared just enjoyed the way Jensen looked. Content, cared for, safe.
Jensen took the band off of his right wrist and missed it immediately. He understood why he wasn’t allowed to wear it all the time. He didn’t want to be responsible for himself, why would Jared? He liked having a watch though, it was more convenient than constantly digging his phone out to see the time, and reminded him that Jared was around, somewhere, if he needed him.
He made it to the library by two and Lizzie was there, smiling as always. Her kids were sitting somewhat quietly behind the desk. Her daughter was putting stacks of books in order, emulating her mom. Scott was separating the kids’ books from the adults.
“Got your helpers with you today?”
“It’s an in-service day for teachers.”
Janie looked up at him and smiled shyly. Jensen chucked her on the chin. “Day off of school? Sounds nice.”
She blushed and Lizzie put a soothing hand on her back. Jensen actually winked at her, just because he knew she had a crush and wanted her to feel noticed. Lizzie laughed. “Why don’t you flirt with me like that?”
“You’re already married; besides, I’m a one woman man.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “That’s not how I understand it.”
He glared at her and she smiled innocently. He handed her back three books. “I don’t like Jane Austen.”
“Well, I wanted you to give her a shot; no one said you have to like everything.”
He nodded. “So how was your weekend?”
“The usual, soccer practice for the kids, then ballet, then fourteen thousand phone calls between myself, my brother and my sister about Thanksgiving.”
“Why so many phone calls?”
“Benny says he can do it at the restaurant. I want to do it at my house. My sister is going to Cabo with her accountant husband and wants to know if I’ll keep her two kids while she’s gone.”
“Oh. Is Benny gonna cook? I didn’t know Benny could cook.”
“He can’t, and I won’t let him make someone else work on Thanksgiving. Where are you going for the holiday?”
“Me and my Dad used to go to Shoney’s. Neither one of us could cook, so at least we got turkey and stuffing.”
Lizzie had that small smile that told him there we something wrong with his story, but he didn’t know what it was.
“Jensen, would you come to my house for Thanksgiving? There’ll be football, pie, turkey with all the trimmings, and you know my kids love you.”
“But your husband. And Benny's my boss.”
“Your boss who likes you. Please, I don’t know who else is going to eat all that turkey.”
Jensen frowned. “Are you sure?”
Lizzie nodded happily. “I’m sure. Now why don’t you go choose some books for yourself?”
“But…”
“Nope, I’m leaving it up to you. You can do this.”
Jensen nodded and walked away, wishing he were surprised, but everyone got tired of helping him eventually. He wrapped his hand around his bare right wrist. Even Jared would, soon.
Lizzie checked the books out and offered him another go at the typing program.
He shook his head and left for his room, head down against the cold.
He spent the rest of the day reading, disliking the book on basic principle because he’d chosen it.
He didn’t even bother to eat anything; he wasn’t hungry. Thanksgiving at Lizzie’s should sound like fun, but being a pity invite didn’t, and he couldn’t even remember his last “real” Thanksgiving, maybe the year after his mom died, when his aunt had them over, but dad got drunk and his cousins made fun of him for being an orphan, which he wasn’t, and he ended up crying outside. Maybe he could explain to Lizzie that he couldn’t go.
He read until his eyes drooped and he finally fell asleep at the table.
He woke to a loud bang on his door. Probably rent collection. He grabbed the money from his hidden stash and opened the door. Jared was standing in front of him.
Jensen yawned. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Jared brushed past him. “You were asleep?”
Jensen nodded.
Jared looked around and glared a little. “At the table?”
Jensen blushed. “Yeah, kinda.”
“So at nine in the morning, you were asleep at the table. Why didn’t you go back to bed?”
“Back?” And Jensen realized his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth.
Jared sat down on the couch, pulling Jensen with him until they were tangled together. “You read all night and finally crashed bent over a kitchen table. Do you think that’s taking care of yourself?”
“Lizzie asked me to Thanksgiving,” he mumbled into Jared's neck.
“That’s awesome.”
“But it’s just because she thinks I’m pathetic.
Jared pushed back a little “Pathetic? Who said that? Did Lizzie?”
“No, Lizzie would never say something like that.”
“She’d just think it and then invite you out of spite?’
Jensen chewed his lip. That didn’t sound like Lizzie. She was nice. He shook his head.
“So maybe she invited you because she likes you, and wants you to have someplace to go on the holiday?”
Jensen shrugged.
“What did you tell her?” Jared was stroking the side of his head, a sign he thought Jensen was nervous and possibly about to bolt or punch something.
“I said I’d go.”
“Good. Now, why are you sleeping at a table?”
“I was reading a good book. I picked it out myself. Lizzie won’t do that for me anymore.”
“Good. What are you reading?”
Jensen blushed “The Island of the Sequined Love Nun.”
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah, I um, liked one of his other books so…”
“Well, good, and you didn’t hate it just because you picked it out yourself?”
“How did you…? I mean… No.”
Jared gave one of those half smiles. “So, you got so into the book, and so wrapped around the axle about Thanksgiving, that you didn’t come to the gym.”
“Do I have to come every day?”
“No. You don’t have to do anything. I am going to worry though, if after more than three months of seeing you every day, you just pull a no show.”
“I’m sorry, I should have called.”
“You were asleep, and it’s okay. I think maybe I…”
“What?”
“I think, after I gave you the bracelet, I… I was afraid it was too much and you just didn’t want it.”
Jensen sat up. “I do want it. I want it… all the time, but I know you don’t want that. So…”
“Hey, I don’t want what we had to change. I don’t want it all the time because you need to be functional. If you’re functional, fully confident in your ability to make these decisions and follow through, then you can give that power right back to me… but you have to have it to give it to me.”
Jensen tilted his head, unsure. “Is this just an excuse to not have to deal with my bullshit?”
“No. It’s a reason for you to deal with it.”
“Can we go to the gym now? I really think I need to work the heavy bag, you know, the one that’s shaped like a guy.”
“The freestanding bag, yeah.”
“Yeah, I think I need to work on that for a while.”
Jared curled his hand around Jensen's chin. “We’ll go back to my place when you’re done?”
“Yeah.”
Jared leaned down and kissed him, and the work they were doing had nothing to do with a heavy bag a few minutes later when there was a loud knock on the door.
“That’s rent. I have to call the test line too. I’ll see you there?”
“If you’re not there, I will track you down.”
Jensen nodded quickly and Jared kissed him again before sliding out between the doorjamb and Jensen's landlord.
Jared bit back his frustration. Jensen could not wear the same beat up pair of jeans he wore daily to Lizzie’s. Add that to the fact that he had about a thousand dollars taped under a drawer and Jared had decided that a shopping trip was in order.
Jensen was more petulant than Jared's four year old nephew in a store. Well, that wasn’t fair, but Jensen was pretty damn resistant to buying anything. Something nice was an even harder sell.
It took the better part of an hour, and a spectacular blowjob, if he did say so himself, to talk Jensen out of thrift stores. A little more cajoling moved him beyond Wal-Mart. Jared recognized that these and the Family Dollar next door were Jensen's comfort zone, but he really wanted to expand that comfort zone. Not because he cared what Jensen wore… but because he had a feeling that Jensen did, and had just decided he didn’t deserve new things, even jeans, or two ply toilet paper, so now Thanksgiving was in two days and here they were at Kohl’s, looking for pants. His ultimate goal; get him a couple of new pairs of jeans, too.
Jensen stepped out of the dressing room. His fading gray crew neck, with a pocket that was pulling away at the seam, paired with dark blue dress pants.
“What’s wrong with these?”
“They don’t move enough.”
“And jeans do?”
“My jeans are comfortable.”
“And I’m not saying you can’t wear them, I just think one nice pair of pants…”
“Can we get them in black?”
“No, you can’t wear them to work. Your work clothes get beat up, literally.”
“I don’t have anything that goes with these.”
‘We’re going to buy you a sweater.”
“Sweater’s are itchy.”
“Then a nice shirt.”
“Those need ironing.”
“We’ll find something.”
“I don’t think Lizzie said there was a dress code.”
“Jensen.”
“What?”
“You promised.”
“Fine.”
“We don’t have to get those, try the ones in dark olive.”
Jared closed his eyes. At least they knew what size he was now. Every guy knows what size jeans he wears, right? Not Jensen. He claimed to wear “somewhere in the middle of the rack” basing his sizing on the Salvation-Army.
So now, if nothing else, he knew Jensen was a 32 waist and anywhere from a 34 to a 36 inseam. It narrowed the choices at least a little.
Finally convincing him to go with the dark olive ramie blend pants, they found a cotton sweater and a pack of better crew necks. Jared thought maybe he’d save the new jeans fight for another day, but after Jensen paid for everything, and received a 20% discount for filling out a credit application, he looked at Jared.
“So maybe a new pair of jeans wouldn’t kill me.”
If they hadn’t been in the breezeway between Kohl’s and the rest of the mall he would have kissed the man, instead he just walked with him to the Gap.
Heading back to Jensen's Jared debated with himself about bringing up a couple of issues he wanted to discuss, but Jensen's head was tilted back, his eyes closed, his mouth in a half smile and Jared just let him rest.
Jensen refused to take the tags off of anything. Jared wanted him to. Wanted to guarantee that he didn’t have a bout of guilt and return the items tomorrow, but Jensen refused, tucking the pants in the bottom drawer, the shirt and sweater in the middle drawer. He turned to Jared.
“I know you think it’s stupid, but…”
He stopped and Jared waited.
“I’ve… it’s been a long time since I’ve had anything new. When my mom was sick, and then my dad wasn’t working… we always went to the thrift stores or church sales. Sometimes I had to just make do. When I was sixteen I raided an old box of my dad’s clothes. Stuff he’d gotten too fat for. Found a few shirts, some jeans, got me through 'til he died. I just… I want them to be new for a little bit longer.”
Jared nodded. “Yeah, okay. Don’t suppose someday you’ll replace the ratty backpack.”
“It’s better than I can afford new, and no one would steal this.”
“Well, I’m gonna…” Jared gestured towards the door.
“Yeah, okay.”
Jared took a step forward and Jensen took a step back.
“Hey, what’s…?”
“Don’t leave.”
“Okay, why not?”
“I want you?”
“Is that a question?”
“I know we never really mess around here. I know it’s supposed to be ‘my space’ or whatever, but… I want you to… you know, here. I want to have that memory.”
Jared put a hand on either side of Jensen’s head, tilting it up. “Open your eyes.”
“Are you mad?”
“Not if you open your eyes.”
Jensen blinked and focused and then practically slumped against the wall. “You’re not mad.”
“Nope, but why do you think you need a last memory?”
“You’re getting me ready to be independent. When I am, you won’t want me anymore.”
“Wow, you’ve got that wrong.”
“Nuh uh, I read about it. When you change someone, make them stronger or weaker, or whatever, once they’re that way, then you don’t like them anymore. You like the challenge.”
“You read a book about me?”
“No.”
“So what’s this book you read?”
Jensen shrugged. “Just some book.”
“In what, the psychology section?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“The self-help and relationship section?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“Well, those are general books about general conditions, and full of bullshit. You don’t like Jane Austen? I don’t like quasi professionals telling my boyfriend that I’m trying to get rid of him.”
“I’m your boyfriend?”
“What did you think you were?”
Jensen chewed his lip, considering, and Jared shook his head. “Don’t answer; it’ll just piss me off. You’re my boyfriend. The only man I kiss. The only man I fuck. You’re mine and you’re right, I don’t want to have you here, I want you to have space of your own, but not because I want to get rid of you. I don’t.”
Jared held Jensen's gaze and could pinpoint the moment he relaxed enough to believe him.
“So we’re okay?”
Jensen nodded.
“Good, I’ve gotta go to the gym, see you later tonight?”
“I’ll be by to work out and then if you want me to, I can…”
“I want you to.”
“Thanks.”
“You don’t have to thank me for wanting you.”
“Feels like I do.”
“Yeah, but we’re working on that, right?”
Jensen nodded and Jared left, knowing he was just going to sit at the table and read a book until he thought it was a reasonable time to come to the gym. Jensen wasn’t good with free time.
When Jared got back to the gym Bowie and Ronnie were waiting for him upstairs. It felt like an ambush.
“Oh Christ, now what?”
“Now you tell us when he’s gonna spar with someone other than you, or get in the ring, at all. You’re wasting a lot of time on this guy and I’m not seeing any progress towards getting him on our roster.”
“Well, he’s not going on anyone else’s roster.” Jared dropped a pile of mail on the table and flopped back into the chair in the far corner, trying to maintain his loose limbed, relaxed attitude. He had a feeling he was failing.
“Look, Jared,” Bowie stepped in front of Ronnie, “we’ve been friends for a long time, and I know you have a penchant for birdies with broken wings and shit, but this is getting ridiculous; it’s been over three months and yeah, he can hit things, really hard, but I don’t think he’s ever gonna be ready to hit someone.”
Jared snorted. “You know he’s a bouncer at Benny's, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s less about hitting and more about looking like you will. He’s scared when he spars with you.”
Jared sighed. “I know.”
“So if you want to work with him, if you want your relationship with him to be whatever the fuck it is, good… great even, he seems to make you happier than your right hand did, but maybe we should stop hoping for the whole miraculous fighter mentality.”
“I think he can do it.”
“That’s wonderful,” Ronnie cut in. “If your belief was enough. But we need him to think he can do it.”
Jared nodded. “Leave this to me. I don’t need your help.”
“Yes, you do.” Bowie had his “tough love” expression on. “You’re not showing up for your other clients. You haven’t run the kids group in two weeks and the squirts miss you. Ronnie can’t work with the kids for shit, and you know I’m not the one to do it if it can be avoided. So do whatever you want but Get. Back. To. Work.”
Jared nodded. They were being pains in the ass, but they weren’t wrong.
“I’m sorry I’ve been dropping the ball. When I get back after Thanksgiving it’s gonna be a whole new world. And don’t forget to push the gift memberships. Those things are profitable.”
“Because people never show up, and we already have their money.”
Jared smiled. “Like I said, push the gift memberships. Now, if I’m not mistaken, that’s Robinson and Kraits. Why don’t I go coach them, like they’re paying me to, and I’ll talk to you chuckleheads later.”
Jared greeted the guys and went to change. Then, for hours, he lost himself in the training of two very mediocre fighters who had no hope of being more than well trained, mediocre fighters.
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