Recognize Myself by 15dozentimes (R)
Title: Recognize Myself
Fandom: Bandom
Pairing: Jon/Ryan
Categories: Angst , Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy
Length: Long (21,000)
Warnings: Abortion, body dysmorphia issues
Author on LJ: 15dozentimes
Author Website: hector_rashbaum
Summary: Jon Walker came out as transgender when he was thirteen years old, and has spent every day of his life since then building walls and perfecting his sense of denial and doing everything in his power to forget he was every anyone but Jon. Over a decade, he's gotten pretty good at it.
Unfortunately, denial can only go so far, and when Jon ends up in a situation he can't get through with his usual coping mechanisms, he starts pushing not to forget who he was, but accept who he is.
Review: What impressed me so much about this story is the unflinching way that body dysmorphia is handled. This isn’t a story about Jon figuring out that he’s trans, or that he’s a man. This is about finding a way to make peace that his body is never going to be able to be the same as his mind. The way Ryan tries so hard to understand what Jon needs, while still pushing his boundaries is just amazing.
The one thing that made me a little unsure about reccing this was the use of the pregnancy trope. So if the idea of man becoming pregnant against his will, and later aborting the pregnancy squicks you out you might not want to read this. If you’re unsure whether or not it would squick you then you might want to take the chance and try reading it, because 15dozen does a admirable job writing the situation in a believable way.
Recognize Myself
Fandom: Bandom
Pairing: Jon/Ryan
Categories: Angst , Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy
Length: Long (21,000)
Warnings: Abortion, body dysmorphia issues
Author on LJ: 15dozentimes
Author Website: hector_rashbaum
Summary: Jon Walker came out as transgender when he was thirteen years old, and has spent every day of his life since then building walls and perfecting his sense of denial and doing everything in his power to forget he was every anyone but Jon. Over a decade, he's gotten pretty good at it.
Unfortunately, denial can only go so far, and when Jon ends up in a situation he can't get through with his usual coping mechanisms, he starts pushing not to forget who he was, but accept who he is.
Review: What impressed me so much about this story is the unflinching way that body dysmorphia is handled. This isn’t a story about Jon figuring out that he’s trans, or that he’s a man. This is about finding a way to make peace that his body is never going to be able to be the same as his mind. The way Ryan tries so hard to understand what Jon needs, while still pushing his boundaries is just amazing.
The one thing that made me a little unsure about reccing this was the use of the pregnancy trope. So if the idea of man becoming pregnant against his will, and later aborting the pregnancy squicks you out you might not want to read this. If you’re unsure whether or not it would squick you then you might want to take the chance and try reading it, because 15dozen does a admirable job writing the situation in a believable way.
Recognize Myself