NEWSFLASH!
WHAAAT LIVEJOURNAL?! I guess this account still exists! I haven't used this in millenia, and I honestly can't promise this will be a habit, since I'm already drowning in social media. However, this seemed to be one place this update could possibly reach a pile of people it might not otherwise, so what the hey, right?
(The following is copy/pasted from an e-mail, since I'm kind of blasting this message out to a lot of dusty corners of my social space at the moment.)
I'm trans! :D
Some of you know this already, but this is my wide-band "coming out" message, so here we go.
So yeah! That's the news. Um. I'll do a mock-FAQ below, from questions other people have asked, but I'm very open about this, so 100% feel free to ask me anything you want.
Q. Wait, really?
A. Yup.
Q. How long has this been a thing?
A. In the hindsight of 20/20, I can point to signs dating back to childhood, but it moved into a conscious thing for about the past fifteen years or so. The final few pieces fell into place during the pandemic, though, and I decided to actually transition rather than bottling it up in December of last year. I talked to my GP and my therapist for a couple of months, and then got a surprisingly sudden opportunity (through someone else's cancellation) to get in touch with an endocrinologist and start actual hormone therapy in February. We gradually phased into it between then and the end of April, so I've been fully on HRT for a bit over three months. I've been living 'as me', as I think of it, full time since February. I visited a friend today to get his lawyerly help getting my applications for changing the gender on all my ID underway.
Q. So what are your pronouns now?
A. She/her.
Q. What should I call you?
A. I haven't changed my name yet. I haven't ruled it out, but I'm also not decided on whether that's something I feel like I need to do. Most everyone in my life calls me "If," and that's very gender-ambiguous. I've been pondering lots of options for more formal settings, but nothing's set in stone. So for now, "If," is still fine.
Q. What do you need from me?
A. Nothing, really. I just thought I'd share the news.
Q. Do your parents / job / etc. know?
A. My parents and family do not "officially" know yet, although I've been gently pursuing coming out with them at a speed they can handle to the point where I'm pretty sure they know but we just haven't officially had the conversation. I plan to notify my work (which I'm on temporary layoff from at the moment due to the pandemic) as soon as my ID change comes through, which should be in the next month or so? Everyone else 'knows', to the extent that I've run into them to pass it along.
Q. Do your partners know, and how do they feel about it?
A. Yes, they were the first people I told. Once they had time to really process it, they were incredibly supportive and happy for me.
Q. Do I need to keep this a secret?
A. Nope. I mean, if you want to tell my parents or my boss for me, go for it, you can have that fun. (I do not actually recommend doing that.) But this is now what I think of as my public identity. You can talk about it to whomever you want.
Q. Is this just (psychological condition / medical condition / whatever else)?
A. No.
Q. Are you sure?
A. Very, very yes.
Q. So how's it going so far?
A. To begin with, I am happier, more confident, and more content with myself than I can remember being, well, ever. So it's already been one of the best decisions I've ever made. That said, transition is a SLOW process with a lot of hurdles, and not every day is perfect. Some people have reacted poorly, which can be hard and disheartening, and can take a lot of time to work through. Some changes will take forever to come in if they even do. The overall official medical process takes five years or more (depending on whether you pursue surgeries or not) to complete. So it's early days, but I'm hopeful.
Q. So, what's the game plan "down there"?
A. I mean, I can talk about this if you're truly curious, but it's a bit irrelevant, especially for people who have never wondered about my nether regions before.
Q. How long is this FAQ?
A. I dunno. I didn't really plan it out.
Q. I object to this for reasons X, Y, and/or Z.
A. You have every right to. I don't need to know about it, and I'm not really interested in debate. (Questions, as mentioned, are fine, even difficult ones, so long as they're aimed at understanding.) If it's a big enough issue that you feel a need to part ways with me, I'm sad, but it happens.
Q. What's that great pendant?
A. It's the colours of the trans pride flag. A friend bought it for me as a gift after I came out to them. I wear it pretty much all the time.
Q. Can I offer you fashion or beauty advice? Can we do each other's nails?
A. Yes, and yes.
Q. Do I have to get to know a whole new person now?
A. No. For the most part, I'm still me. I won't lie; Transition occasions emotional changes as well as physical ones. A whole lot of your brain activity is regulated by hormones. So I can't promise I won't change or that I haven't changed already (I have). However, the core is still me.
Q. Can this entry finally end?
A. Yeah, I think I'm out of sample questions.