this is what a season is.
So unsettling, but so familiar…
The nostalgia is making me almost nauseous and very uneasy, mostly because I have been left to my own devices, the only person awake on the east coast, no distractions. Because it’s so cold here, the summer feels much farther away than last December does. I am chronologically confused. I am in the room of my childhood, and the initial novelty is wearing off, and the way things haven’t moved or changed up here is freaking me out. I know I set down that piece of paper on the bathroom shelf about three years ago. There it lies. That picture I taped to the wall…. Here are my toe shoes. There is my band helmet. This is my huge brass bed. Why didn’t any of this bother me this summer? Why does it now? …hang on….wasn’t I just eating my lunch in Los Angeles….?
So I am home.
And as happy as I am to be here for a few days, as positive, as excited to see these familiar faces and breath in the crisp fall air….
I am officially weirded out.
The nostalgia is making me almost nauseous and very uneasy, mostly because I have been left to my own devices, the only person awake on the east coast, no distractions. Because it’s so cold here, the summer feels much farther away than last December does. I am chronologically confused. I am in the room of my childhood, and the initial novelty is wearing off, and the way things haven’t moved or changed up here is freaking me out. I know I set down that piece of paper on the bathroom shelf about three years ago. There it lies. That picture I taped to the wall…. Here are my toe shoes. There is my band helmet. This is my huge brass bed. Why didn’t any of this bother me this summer? Why does it now? …hang on….wasn’t I just eating my lunch in Los Angeles….?
So I am home.
And as happy as I am to be here for a few days, as positive, as excited to see these familiar faces and breath in the crisp fall air….
I am officially weirded out.