She wouldn't change anything for the world.
1.) Trying to buy a car.
2.) Speaking of a car, I have an 'appointment' this Monday that's making me terrified.
3.) Start working full time as of next week.
4.) I'm home alone.
5.) I think that's it.
I haven't done much recently. I finally broke and bought the Goblet of Fire... which now means I have to buy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, or something. I'm strapped for ideas on a storyline, which is making my so-called creative Chi bottled and spastic. I know I need to update, but I feel like I've talked to my LJ friends a lot recently, and everyone's in the know. I think I'm just glad to have internet access... my wireless refuses to sign on in my room, and I can only do so much on a family computer. I found out about a website called www.imprintrevolution.com that allows you to design your own t-shirt, so I think I'll go check that out now.
Also, that kid I met... it didn't work out. He was cute and all (like, really cute...) but he'd text, and then I'd text, and then he wouldn't answer for a week, and then he'd text again, so of course I'm confused, and then he'd leave the state and come back and expect me to still want to talk to him, which I didn't... oh well. I'm just silly. The date went well. Maybe next time.
Now, I will leave you with a longish Palahniuk-esque story about how the people in Home Depot are fucking retards. Seriously. Or maybe just the Home Depot workers in New Hampshire. Here's how it goes: my grandfather is pretty much addicted to tool stores, so this place is like his candy shop. And he's been wanting a 'thickness planer' (?) for about six years, so he got a Home Depot credit card from work and they said he could buy it with that. Now, they also told him that on his first purchase of ANYTHING in a Home Depot, he could get $100 off the price. So he goes to customer service to ask some woman if that's true. (In case you've seen that movie 'Planes, Trains, and Automobiles' with Steve Martin and John Candy, this woman reminded me of the one at the car dealership.) Her name's Rosie. Her personality clearly is not. So he asks his question (and I get it, he's foreign and crazy and hard to understand), and she treats him like a child. Instead of answering his question, she tells him the same thing at least four different times, with four different voice inflections, and keeps adding "Does that make sense?" in an efficiently derogatory manner. He finally gets out of her that he needs to use the card at the store he originally got the card from.
In a surprising streak of vicious anger, I smile sweetly at her and say, "It was just a simple question, but it makes sense now. Thank you!" I then walk away with my grandfather and explain to him, loudly, that we should "find someone who's fucking competent."
In deciding that she's a nasty bitch who has no idea what's going on, we get into the garden section. He's looking for this: it's a drainpipe attachment, made of plastic, and it looks almost like a pipe but it's accordion-ish so that you can stick it on the end of your drain and the water won't destroy your mulch. He goes to find that while I seek a civilized worker.
To no avail. I find a girl (she's about seventeen) and I decide that while I pay for my colorful duct tape and electrical tape (and while I'm on this subject, there's really no way to buy anything of value in Home Depot without looking like a horrible sexual sadist), I can ask her about this credit card thing. The look I get for a response largely resembles the deer in headlights thing. And she goes, "Um... let me... um, ya know, like, call... uh... Pam. Yeah. Pam would, like, know how to, ya know, like, answer that for ya."
*Eye roll.*
So she calls Pam, and in doing so, looks at me and says, "Did you, like, wanna pay for that stuff while I call Pam?" I almost laugh in her face - but instead I smile sweetly and reply on how *awesome* that would be. (Let's fuck with her to see if she can multi-task, huh?)
So I pay, and I get the same answer: "I think... um. Your dad? Yeah. He'd hafta, like, ya know, go back to the, um... where he got the card? Yeah. That's where the hundred dollars would, like, come off."
That was helpful and in no way a giant waste of my valuable time.
So I meet up with the Gup again and he can't find the drainpipe thing. (Another quick aside: we're in the garden section. Don't you think that's where a drainpipe thing would be? No. Leave it to Home Depot - everything's in it's place, except for the shit you need. I think I found the tape in plumbing, or something.) So we go back in, and there's some heavily tattooed woman. (Hope!) And he asks her for this drainpipe thing's location.
"You want PVC piping?"
No, stupid. PVC piping is long, and white, and narrow, and hard, and in no way resembles an accordion. So he nicely answers no, he wants the drainpipe thing. So she kindly suggests Aisle 8. And when we get there, there it is: all the PVC piping anyone and their mom would ever want.
*Eye roll.*
So we look, and it's not there. And we find some dude with dreads pushing a bunch of carriages. Gup asks for the drainpipe thing. He just stares at us.
"So you want a drainpipe?"
Oh. My. God. NO! We want an attachment that is flexible. That's it. A flexible attachment. He goes, "Have you checked plumbing?"
Ahem. Now tell me, is the drainpipe, on the exterior of your house, in any way related to plumbing?! So the guy says he'll call someone in plumbing. We continue to search the aisles around the PVC shit.
Lo and behold, hidden behind two trailor-trash women, is a bin with drainpipe attachments!! So we pick one up, and the dreadlocked dude goes, "Oh, here the are!"
Harumph.
On our way to the register (as we're CLEARLY done with looking for anything else...) we need to pass Rosie. And as we do, I look to Gup and go, "Come on, Grandpa. We'll go back to West Roxbury, where people have a fucking clue."
And that's my Home Depot adventure.
"You can do it, we can help" ? Sounds more like "You can do it, if you have the patience of a saint."
Talk to you soon!
~V
Also: Nora, I found out about that band we saw at Warped, Against Me! and I figured out the name of that song that sounds like summer. I also found out that the lyrics are depressing but true, if you listen to them. I think it's my new favorite. Like, favorite enough to be my new ringtone. So here are the lyrics:
"If she wants to dance and drink all night,
well, there's no one that can stop her.
She's going until the house lights come up, or stomach spills onto the floor.
This night is gonna end when we're damn well ready for it to be over.
Worked hard all week, and now the music is playing on our time.
We do what we do to get by, and then we need some relief.
Ba ba ba ba ba ba de da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba de da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba de da da.
You get mixed up with the wrong guys,
you get messed up on the wrong drugs.
Sometimes the party takes you places that you didn't really plan on going.
When people see the track marks on her arms, she knows what they're thinking.
She keeps on working for that minimum,
as if a high school education gave you any other option.
You know, they don't know nothing about redemption.
They don't know nothing about recovery.
Some people just aren't the type for marriage and family.
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna grow up to be a junkie.
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna grow up to sleep alone.
She's out of step with the style, she don't know where the action's happening.
You know, the downtown club scene ain't nothing like it used to be.
You reach a point when there's not a lie in the world you could use
to make the boys believe you're still in your twenties, but
they keep getting younger, don't they baby?
She's not waiting for someone to come over and ask for the privilege.
She can still hear the Rebel Yell just as loud as it was in 1983.
There ain't no Johnny coming home to share a bed with her,
and she doesn't care.
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna grow up to be a junkie.
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna grow up to sleep alone.
And if she had to live it all over again,
you know she wouldn't change anything for the world."