And Now, for a List of Gripes
Hi. A few things...
1.) When you say you'll call tomorrow, make it fucking tomorrow.
2.) Finally, a fucking chapter. Let's keep 'em coming before I have to start pulling goddamn teeth.
3.) And don't answer the phone when you're with your fucking girlfriend, dumbass.
4.) WHY can't the damn paper be 10+ pages?! I'm on the first part and I already have 6.5!!
5.) I may not be a great singer. But if you haven't heard me sing, don't fucking criticize.
6.) You're cute and all, but you talk way too fucking much. And I'm pretty sure I prefer someone taller. Like a lot taller.
7.) Peach smells nice... until you're fucking wearing it.
8.) Why must the rum always be gone?!
9.) Why don't you just TEXT me when you're leaving so I can get drunk and cry for a week? That's really all I need, I promise.
10.) Let's talk about battleships. Often.
11.) Tums are great for heartburn... not for nausea.
12.) I. Don't. Dance. Unless the Spice Girls come on, apparently.
13.) I can't help you fix yourself, but at least I can say I tried.
14.) Pity parties should include more than two people. And definitely more than one.
15.) What do you mean you didn't save me a seat in the car?! I'M FAMILY!!
16.) An update... and they don't even fuck? Huh?
17.) I KNOW you got piss drunk after your grandfather died. And I'm sorry you have asthma. And I still wish you'd go away.
18.) The vodka, too. It's always gone.
19.) And the Jack.
20.) And the best friends of two years.
21.) Freud, you can fuck yourself. You and your little 'dream analysis' bullshit. Fucking white t-shirts.
22.) Here's an idea: call me for the first time in three months while you're on a train to a different state. Smart move.
23.) The girl in the case study has one problem, and that's that she has NO FUCKING PROBLEMS.
24.) Where the fuck do you go?!
25.) GoogleEarth made my computer crash. Fuck you, GoogleEarth.
26.) I WANTED A FUCKING T-SHIRT!! Not that it matters.
27.) Yes, I'm laughing with you. No, you don't scare me. Yes, you're cute. But stop fucking talking.
28.) And furthermore, can you not be an amalgamation of two people I hate?
29.) No textbook. No notes. No attendance. No passing grade!
30.) Snap out of your pissy mood. And wear your hat like a fucking normal person, math freak.
31.) Stop. Staring. At. Me.
32.) Maybe if I called to the alcohol...
33.) Do you know how far away 4000 miles is?!
34.) What the fuck, he has syphillis?
35.) Jealousy's an ugly word.
36.) I wish I didn't smell like peaches.
37.) October was a good month.
38.) Clearly, you can't dance either.
39.) And 'rap' cannot be danced to.
40.) Making lists doesn't solve anything.
41.) Fine. Be that way. Stare at me all night. See if I care. Make a b-line for me when you're hanging out with your friends. It's cool.
42.) No, you're not fucking fat. Shut UP.
43.) Britney should die.
44.) Better yet, Britney should come to my program.
45.) Fuck you, social life. OH! Sorry. Clearly I already said that.
46.) Victor Frankl is totally spiting me right now. I know it.
~V
1.) When you say you'll call tomorrow, make it fucking tomorrow.
2.) Finally, a fucking chapter. Let's keep 'em coming before I have to start pulling goddamn teeth.
3.) And don't answer the phone when you're with your fucking girlfriend, dumbass.
4.) WHY can't the damn paper be 10+ pages?! I'm on the first part and I already have 6.5!!
5.) I may not be a great singer. But if you haven't heard me sing, don't fucking criticize.
6.) You're cute and all, but you talk way too fucking much. And I'm pretty sure I prefer someone taller. Like a lot taller.
7.) Peach smells nice... until you're fucking wearing it.
8.) Why must the rum always be gone?!
9.) Why don't you just TEXT me when you're leaving so I can get drunk and cry for a week? That's really all I need, I promise.
10.) Let's talk about battleships. Often.
11.) Tums are great for heartburn... not for nausea.
12.) I. Don't. Dance. Unless the Spice Girls come on, apparently.
13.) I can't help you fix yourself, but at least I can say I tried.
14.) Pity parties should include more than two people. And definitely more than one.
15.) What do you mean you didn't save me a seat in the car?! I'M FAMILY!!
16.) An update... and they don't even fuck? Huh?
17.) I KNOW you got piss drunk after your grandfather died. And I'm sorry you have asthma. And I still wish you'd go away.
18.) The vodka, too. It's always gone.
19.) And the Jack.
20.) And the best friends of two years.
21.) Freud, you can fuck yourself. You and your little 'dream analysis' bullshit. Fucking white t-shirts.
22.) Here's an idea: call me for the first time in three months while you're on a train to a different state. Smart move.
23.) The girl in the case study has one problem, and that's that she has NO FUCKING PROBLEMS.
24.) Where the fuck do you go?!
25.) GoogleEarth made my computer crash. Fuck you, GoogleEarth.
26.) I WANTED A FUCKING T-SHIRT!! Not that it matters.
27.) Yes, I'm laughing with you. No, you don't scare me. Yes, you're cute. But stop fucking talking.
28.) And furthermore, can you not be an amalgamation of two people I hate?
29.) No textbook. No notes. No attendance. No passing grade!
30.) Snap out of your pissy mood. And wear your hat like a fucking normal person, math freak.
31.) Stop. Staring. At. Me.
32.) Maybe if I called to the alcohol...
33.) Do you know how far away 4000 miles is?!
34.) What the fuck, he has syphillis?
35.) Jealousy's an ugly word.
36.) I wish I didn't smell like peaches.
37.) October was a good month.
38.) Clearly, you can't dance either.
39.) And 'rap' cannot be danced to.
40.) Making lists doesn't solve anything.
41.) Fine. Be that way. Stare at me all night. See if I care. Make a b-line for me when you're hanging out with your friends. It's cool.
42.) No, you're not fucking fat. Shut UP.
43.) Britney should die.
44.) Better yet, Britney should come to my program.
45.) Fuck you, social life. OH! Sorry. Clearly I already said that.
46.) Victor Frankl is totally spiting me right now. I know it.
~V